Thank you all who review! I sincerely appreciate it!

This fanfic is brought to you by: Bittersweet Romanticide! She's crazy, she's evil, she's got this strange addiction to writing and now, she's brought you this!

I'm practicing…ACTION! Since this is practice, be critical in your reviews. I need to know! Yeah…this will either go very, very well, or really, really, REALLY bad. –crosses fingers and bounces a bit- Oh, please be the former!

AAML

"And what is that mark there, son, on your pokéball?" The reporter asked Ash. The boy grinned proudly. He was sixteen and about to go one on one with Ahpuhtiezur's Elite Champion, Caesar, Caesar Salad. (A/N: Too obvious a made up name and region? (Sound out the region, you'll see what I mean))

"This? Okay, you know how Pikachu never goes into it's pokéball?" Ash asked rhetorically. He looked over his shoulder. "Hey, Mist! Send Pikachu over! …No? What do you mean…Excuse me! She's my pokémon…I can't! Half of my freaking pokémon are pregnant and the other half are busy fathering because someone named Misty forgot to put the locks on the pens at Professor Oak's place! Pikachu is the only one I can use that would actually work! Give her! Son of a…give me my pokémon! Listen, sir, I'm sorry. Just give me a minute to get my pokémon back. Someone stole her." Ash raced off camera for a minute, leaving the reporter dazed and confused.

Misty's voice began to scream off screen. "Hey, what're you…? Ah! Don't! No! Those are my pants! Stop it! You're going to…don't! Ash! Fine! Fine! You can have her! Maybe if she'd just come to you instead of want to stay with me you might win this battle. You're going to lose like you always do. Gary's right! You're a stupid, ugly, fat, loser!" Misty stormed across the screen, pulling the jeans she had been wearing under her skirt up. "Ash Ketchum pants-ed me! He's a pervert!"

"Aw, can it!" Ash shouted, walking back on screen with Pikachu bundled up in his arms. "Sorry, that's my, er, coach. She's a total freak. If you see her, tell her she's a runt. Seriously, that would really make my day."

"About your pokeball, Ash?"

"My what? Oh, right," he laughed nervously and tucked his hand behind his head sheepishly. "Sorry about that. That's Pikachu's pokéball. She doesn't like going inside enclosed spaces. I never put her in there, but the rules and regulations say that I have to have proof she's mine. So I'm going to flash the judges the pokéball to show them that I own her. After that I'll start my killer one on one battle!" He cheered for himself.

"It's going to suck. Throw popcorn at him," Misty said with a giggle. She leaned casually on his shoulder (which was getting harder and harder as he got taller) and smile up at him charmingly. "Hullo, Ash. I have faith in your pokémon. I have no faith in you, but I have faith in your pokémon."

"You're too happy," Ash said accusingly. "What are you up to?"

"I'm plotting revenge," she smiled, putting her hand to her mouth and sucking on a Ring Pop. She turned to the reporter and pulled the Ring Pop back out. "Listen, if you're looking for an exciting story about Ash Ketchum living a scandal, you won't get it. The boy is as clean and pure as they come. Now, I did my best to try and teach him sexual innuendos and dirty jokes and all about South Park, but he just blushed and ran away. He's insecure out his weight though."

"I am not."

"Yes you are, fatty," she smirked.

"I'm not fat!" He shouted. He blushed. "That was a little too loud, wasn't it?"

"Just a little." She tweaked his nose playfully and started to walk away. Ash grabbed her arm, wrestled off the Ring Pop, and sucked on it a bit himself, refusing to give it back. "Fine, be that way. You eat the sugar and get fat."

"You can't have it back," he chuckled. She threw a mini-fit before storming away, red faced and pouting. Ash innocently looked at the reporter, shot the camera a winning grin and said, "Women, man, can't live with them, can't live without them. Hi Mom!"

"Are you ready?" Caesar asked his pokéball. He was a tall, skinny man. His face was gaunt, his skin tone dull and sickly. He looked rather old, but seemed perfectly able to hold his own. With an anticlimactic twist of his wrist, he tossed a pokéball down on to the field. "Vespiquen, go," he shouted unenthusiastically. Ash blinked. He'd never heard someone be so loud and uncaring at the same time.

"Uh, are you sick?"

"Thank you for asking, young man, but no. I always look this ugly and old," Mr. Salad scoffed. The crowd above began to laugh, and Ash blushed. "I'm just not a very expressive person. At all. Such as, there's a red headed girl sneaking up behind you, and I really haven't seemed to notice it at all."

"Wha?" Ash blinked. He spun around to a wickedly smiling Misty, who already had another Ring Pop on her finger. She quickly yanked down his pants with a triumphant yell, the crowd above bursting into guffaws. "Misty!"

"Ash, you don't pants girls. It's wrong. I don't care that I was wearing a skirt. Let this be a lesson to you," She laughed along with the crowd as he struggled to get his pants up. Half of her thought it would be just perfect to shove him down into the field, with no pants. That would be much too cruel, even for her. "I'm sorry to disturb your match, Champion Salad. Have a nice battle, and I wish you both the best of luck," She ran off to her coach's box.

"She's lying, you know," Ash said calmly, still red. "She doesn't feel sorry at all and she doesn't want to me to have any luck. We've got a bet going on. If I win, I don't owe her a bike anymore. It's a long and confusing story you really don't want to hear about."

"It's okay, kid. Let's just try to keep our pants up for this match and keep our minds on the field, not the pretty red head in the coach box." Ash reddened and the entire field laughed louder then before. Well, all except Misty, who blushed just as bad and tired to hide behind Brock and Tracey. "Well, don't just stand there and blush, boy! Release your pokémon and let's get this battle on the road!"

"Yessir," he blushed. He took out the lightning marked pokéball and showed it to the judges while Pikachu raced out onto the field.

(I'm going to kick some major bug ass,) she sniggered, her cheeks beginning to spark. She eyed the Vespiquen wearily. It looked old, it looked tired, but that wouldn't fool her. She hoped by now Ash would as well. (We're not taking the old grouch lightly, right?)

"I'm sure she's tough," Ash agreed. "Don't worry, Pikachu. I know that I need to be careful. I won't judge a book by its cover. Let's go in close for an attack. You've got speed to get back out, so get ready to move!"

(Can I volt tackle it?) Pikachu asked excitedly.

"Let's tackle it first, huh?" Ash said. "Can we not be eager and figure out our opponent first?"

(No risk taking pansy ass,) Pikachu muttered rushing forward to deliver a tackle that she was sure had next to no effect. Pikachu skidded back gracefully, light on her feet. Vespiquen was closing in, slowly, her arm raised in a slash. Pikachu looked up at the daunting creature. Closer, closer, closer…she shifted into a quick agility to dance away from the powerful slash that came down. The claw dug into the dirt up to her elbow. (Aw, shit!) Pikachu exclaimed. (That does not look like fun!)

"See, that's why we figure out our opponent. Slow, but powerful. Now we now," Ash said. "Let's chip at the health. We'll attack from afar, okay Pikachu? Let's see a thunderbolt!" He called. Pikachu began to charge. It'd be a while before the thing got over to her.

(Heh, I'm a bug zapper,) Pikachu giggled to herself. She released the thunderbolt. The bug didn't show a response, though it looked quite charred. (Uh-oh, Bugsy ain't talking. Hey, sweetheart, wanna tell me how bad I hurt ya?)

(I am a female as well, fellow pokémon.)

(I suppose charming you is out of the question then?) Pikachu laughed nervously. Vespiquen began her slow crawl forward. (Aw, crap. You know, this is like a freaking zombie attack. I can out run her and everything, yeah, but it's still as creepy as hell.)

"Pikachu, please! Can you focus?"

(I can, but what's a match without my charming responses?) Pikachu giggled. (Oh crap!)

She swerved to the left as another slash attack crashed down beside her. The Vespiquen took no time getting it back out of the ground and slashing again, this time with her left claw. Pikachu slid to the right, mentally cursing her luck. So, the old man had figured it out? She was better skidding to the left than right. She was much, much slower and easier to tire that way. From the look in the Vespiquen's eyes, the old bat knew it, too. She dimly heard a shout of 'fury swipes' and the familiar voice saying 'agility' as the next attacks began to hit. She went on her tip toes to move fast and leaped back and forth between the oncoming attacks, the ground around her shook with the power and the soil began to loosen under her paws. She swore again and used agility to leap away, running around the wall of the area before slowing enough to stand. How many times had Vespiquen brought those down all too close? Too many times for a normal furry swipes. At least twenty times, probably more. She could strike much faster than she could fly.

And she was tired, now, panting. Moving this fast was taking a lot out of her. Thankfully, the Vespiquen wasn't doing so hot either.

"Stay away from it, Pikachu," Ash encouraged. "You don't have to go fast, just faster than her. I know you're tired, it's gonna be hard, but she's tired too. Long range attacks, Pikachu. You're good at those. Give a thunder, maybe we'll paralyze her."

Pikachu almost groaned aloud. She always hated this one part of the battle. Resting. She could feel every muscle throb, every part of her lungs cry for mercy, her heart pumped in her chest so hard it must be bursting through her rib cage. She began to charge again. Power. That's what she needed. It wasn't her speed that mattered, it was Vespiquen's. Let the creature be slow. The storm clouds were gathering. She let the feeling wash over her. Oh the tingling, numbing feeling. Then, her heart stopped. No, she wasn't dead. This always happened. She was paralyzed, but it didn't matter. A lightning bolt smoothly crashed down from the sky and fried the bug in front of her. Then resumed the normal thumping in her chest, the pain in her body, and the relief that the match appeared to be over.

"You went all out on that thunder, huh?" Ash gasped with surprise. "I just wanted a little shock, but, damn, that was great. Nice job."

(If you don't shut up,) Pikachu said, each word through a breath, (you're going to find out exactly what kind of shock that was, you uncaring ass. I want a better greeting than nice job. If that fucking thing stands up, I'm forfeiting.) Which was a lie, of course. She'd never forfeit. She had her pride, after all.

Silence was in the arena. They were waiting. Vespiquen would stand up. She had to stand up. She had never not stood up before. The thing had always finished a battle. Champion Salad (A/N: Do you have any idea how retarded I feel every time I write that?) "V-Vespiquen," the referee stuttered, "is unable to battle." People in the stand were gaping, horrified. Not only had their champion lost, but he had lost in an extremely short, poorly written and uncreative battle! "Ash Ketchum form Pallet Town wins the match."

"Oh, sweet!" Ash cheered. He was instantly surrounded by a mob of his closest friends and family, congratulating him briefly before it turned into a mosh pit more than anything, where he was hardly the center of attention.

"Ash! You won!" Misty cheered delightedly, throwing her arms around him in a hug and jumping up and down. "You finally won a competition, you loser!" She laughed and pulled away, a smile almost hidden on her face, half a smirk, half a grin. Ash blinked. Was it just him or was she…cute? He felt himself stepping closer, and then leaning in. Her mouth dropped open a bit, surprised. "Ash, are you…?" She gasped.

He quickly covered his lips with hers, slowly bringing up a hand to trace along the side of her face while the other grabbed a belt loop to yank her closer. It was a beautiful rush of adrenaline, like jumping off a cliff, and if anyone would know what that would feel like, he would. Then, realizing what he had just done, he pulled back, eyes wide. "Oh, shit, Mist. I'm sorry! I got caught up in the moment and you just looked so…so cute!" He blushed. "Oh, man! That one sounds bad. That sounds so stupid. That's not what I meant! It's so cheesey! Misty, that was your first kiss and…crap!"

"Ash," Misty said, shaking her head wildly. "You weren't just caught up in the moment, were you?"

"Which answer is going to keep me out of trouble?" Ash asked.

"The honest one," Misty narrowed her eyes.

"Let me rephrase that, which one is going to get you to let me kiss you again?" Ash laughed lightly. Misty grinned and yanked him closer, thrusting her lips on his again. Ash pulled back, grinning just as crazily as she was. "I take it that was the right one?"

The answer was self explanatory.

Yeah, I've been working on a bunch of different one-shots, that's why they're up so fast. The romance was okay, I'm saving the good stuff for 'Don't Believe What You See', which really is coming to a close soon. It's the final stretch on that one!

So, if you review, tell me on my very brief action scene. I'd be creative but, er, I'm not much of a battler. Even in the game it's basically type trump, attack, attack, attack, other pokemon fainted. Go find next opponent. Destroy. Repeat sequence until game ends.

Tell me if my brief action was any good, and thanks for reading!