A/N
Disclaimer: I own nothing, besides the books and this idea
I would like to start this note off by saying how very very sorry I am for taking SUCH a long time to update, just lots of stuff has been going on recently with school.. friends...soon-to-be careers and other large topics, not to mention I was very picky about this chapter, and would take days to write a few paragraphs. I realize that there still may be some typos or a few parts where, accidently, its supposed to be in past tense but is in present or something like that. I would have checked it over and over and given you all something read that is wonderful, but I'm only human, and we humans make plenty of mistakes. I just wanted to post this chapter as soon as possible, no more putting off. Everytime I thought about it, I felt rather guilty. But it did get looked over by a friend and he gives it 'two thumbs up' so that's encourging. :D
And, since I'm done rammbling, let's start!
I glanced back towards the overgrow of bushes and trees to find Alice skip over to me.
"Where are you going, Jass?"
I glared, I hated that nickname and she knew it.
" Nowhere.... Alicia" I laughed when she stopped skipping and pouted.
"Jaaasper." She whined, I sighed and put my keys away.
"Yes, dearest sister of mine?" She beamed, either not recognizing or not listening to the sarcastic tone.
"I just saw through Edwards mind that your planning to go across the country or something"
I leaned against the door of my Nissan Altima, "What if I was?" I watched her lean back and forward on the balls of her feet before jumping onto the hood of my car, carefully, so not to dent it.
"Just wondering because, if your about to go and massacre a bunch of innocent humans I'll have to stop you" She replied cheerfully, swinging her arms like a small child.
I nodded. "I wasn't planning on it actually, just need to clear my head of all these ...scents" Or one in particular. I heard Edward sigh from inside the house, knowing that he was listening in.
Alice looked down and replied "Ok, but if you get the thought to kill a person I'm bringing Emmett"She grinned and somersaulted off of the car.
"Sure thing." I answered before digging my hands back into my pockets to recover my keys.
After I fished the keys out of my pockets again, I unlocked the door, sat down into the leather seat, smiled at Alice and with a 'See you around' I was off.
No clue as to where I was going or how long it would take, just knowing I had to get away from here and get there.
As I drove across the country, it began getting a bit boring, I drove during the day and during the night. No humans to see or smell, I mean sure that's great but it is always interesting when they talk amongst themselves and when they try and escape.... I shook my head and turned on the radio.
By the end of the week my hunger had grown to that of a rather annoying itch that I couldn't fix. I sighed and opened my window as I drove down the long and endless road.
It was going to be a long trip.
A week later, I was going mad with the hunger. I parked the car in the forest, got out and inhaled deeply, hoping to catch a whiff of something.
Something Big.
After a few moments I smelt something better than any animal.
I griped a nearby tree for support, Shit, a human. I raced off down the road, running faster than any car. My mood-swings were very hard to keep up with.
When I finally stopped booking it, I realized I was out of the state, California to be exact.
By now, I was so incredibly thirsty that I knew I wouldn't be able to stop myself If a human came along. Thinking smartly and safetly, for the humans that is, I ran into a forest and began attacking and feeding on any animal in a ten block radius.
Within 10 minutes my homicidal tendency had gone away, for the moment anyway. After I had dealt with the dead corpse of the animals, I washed my hands clean before casually walking out of the forest. Thank god. Almost on cue, two slim girls came walking down the path I had just left, both wearing shorts and halter tops and flip-flops.
The smell of their blood whorled around me as they past by. I smiled at them innocently, they both smiled back and looked away from me, giggling as they walked Humans are too easy, but I was glad of my ability to not kill them.
Maybe I was just being a drama-king about this whole Bella Swan thing.
After around 3 weeks of constant, nonstop hunting, I figured I'd be able to handle (if only for a little while) being around that Bella.
I know I might be overestimating myself, but the way I see it shes a human.
That's it. All humans are appealing, and sure, to me, she is even more so, but that certainly does not mean I'm going to give up and let her drive me out of town twice in a row.
Growling, I leapt up onto my feet, and decided that enough is enough. I am going back. With a deep breath I walk back into the forest and begin running.
Running.
I love running like this, feeling the ground nearly evaporate beneath the soles of my feet, as I push myself forward in the soft brown dirt, not having to slow down and improve the human pretense. I race further and further onward, wanting to see how fast I can get back to my home. If I was a human, my muscles would be burning and I would be panting, I chuckle to myself and run faster.
It's been 4 days and I'm finally sitting back down on my favorite lumpy couch.
As I sit and think over the events that took place the last few days, I hear Emmett's husky voice from upstairs, whispering to Alice.
"Why is he here? Doesnt he know that -"
"Emmett shush, he just got back for petes sakes"
I can hear Emmett groan in frustration before thumping down the stairs and jumping down on the couch next to me.
Smash!
Sighing, I stand and begin to pick up the shattered pieces of the couch. "Emmett, you cant jump around on things like that. What if that was a human? How would you have explained that?"
God, I know I sound like a worry-wort, it hasn't been a very relaxing week after all.
"Jeez, lighten up, Mom" Before breaking into loud bellowing laughter. I sigh and shake my head. "Look man, I'm glad your back and all but.."
He doesn't even need to finish, I can feel his thoughts turn instantly lust filled.
"OK, OK , I'm going."
He grins and pats me on the back. "Sweet bro, thanks"
Before I can even say another word, he's up the stairs and in his room.
I walk casually out of the house and decide to leave enough room that I cant tell what their emotions and noises are.
Just as I began walking down the driveway, Carlisles' car pulls in, he opens his door and gives me a big hug. "Welcome back son" He says to me, smiling.
"Thanks dad" I smile back, even if they weren't my biological parents they sure feel like them to me, but I guess thats what happens when you spend a few decades with people. As my mind wonders, he pulls me out of my trance.
" How was your trip?" He asks as he begins walking back to the house, I quickly stand in front of him, blocking him from going further. He gives me a look of confusion. "Emmett and Alice are spending some.. quality time together."
He laughs and nods, "I see, then we will go to town"
"Alright, and the trip was fine. My car got lost somewhere though." We chuckle. "So you just got back? Have you seen anyone else besides those two?"
As we walk down the road I feel quite peaceful, Carlisle is then as well most likely.
I don't see why I didn't simply tell Carlisle what was going through my mind before, I think I was worried of disappointing him.
"I only saw Emmett and yes. I got back a few minutes ago, if I am correct" When we reached town, I smelt the familiar aromas of the town, which meant the strong sense of human fragrance winding through the various smells and tones of nature and the other people. Addicting.
I gasped, I knew what they smelt like. But still... it didn't help that I haven't been around them for weeks.
Whenever I saw them coming I would run off in the opposite direction.
Carlisle put his hand on my arm reassuringly.
"It'll be fine son. Trust me." I nodded, not wanting to breathe in a scent and accidentally start off on a homicidal spree.
As we neared the village, the need was not so bloodthirsty but more like a pounding migraine Painful, but not unbearable. I slowly got readjusted to the scents of the town folk.
"Your very quiet Jasper, is something on your mind?"
I focused my attention, back to my father, and the vibrant coffee shop we appeared to have wound up at, another thing that annoyed me about the humans was that they always talked amoungst themselves
I felt all the joyful and romantic feelings whip around my head, I glanced back at my father who had his eyes fixed on me.
" Yes, my mind is just filled with different thoughts." I sighed and looked down. Carisle patted my hand that was laying on the table.
"Tell me these thoughts, I would like to try and help" I took a deep breath, and began telling him all of my desire for Isabella Swan's blood, told him how it affected me more strongly and forcibly then any other human I had yet to meet, that the only reason I left for so long was to improve my strength and endurance, that my plan failed horribly for when I returned it was like taking a bullet to my progress. (if I made any)
Carlisle nodded occasionally and when I had finished replied softly, "Don't worry, you'll find the strength you need. We all believe in you."
I smiled and felt his sincere emotions, which only made it worse, I was worried that I wouldn't be able to stop from destroying her instantly if she got so much as a paper cut.
"How can you be so sure? I'm not even sure of myself" He covered my hand with his, "You are not a monster Jasper. You could still be killing innocent people, but you not-- "
I was about to protest when he raised his hands for me to be quiet. "Let me finish, your not the same person you were when you were a newborn. Realizing it or not, you have gotten stronger,and yes I understand the fact that she may be your greatest adversary. I think every vampire has met someone who held a certain desire, stronger than other people. She is your test." As he finished speaking a small, soft smile graced his lips.
"OK" I replied, unsure of what to say.
After around an hour and a half of pleasant light conversation, Carlisle and I walked out of the coffee shop and down around the town. Glancing around random shop windows or smiling softly at the swooning girls, they're mood very obvious what they wanted. Ten minutes later, we were mutually ready to go back home, when it hit me.
I froze, instantly knowing which delicious scent which human that belonged to.
Bitch I thought sourly.
My knuckles and jaw was clenched so tight, they would break if I was human. Venom filled my mouth quickly. Would it really be that big a deal if I just...I abruptly cut my thoughts off, I would have no choice if I kept thinking along those lines.
"Jasper?" His voice was worried.
"Look... over.. there.. " I hissed. Pointing towards the devil itself.
I was about to run as quickly as I could away from her, and her damn intoxicating blood, when she sprung up in front of me.
I growled ferociously.
"Get away from me." I ordered darkly.
"Please leave young lady" He added, stepping between me and her. Smart.
I knew she was confused and knew I only had minutes- if that- I ran off down the road, getting as far away from her as possible.
Moving quickly forward, I soon heard the footsteps of Carlisle coming up beside me. "So, I'm guessing thats her" All I could do was nod, my voice was lost.
I could hear her feeble and useless attempts to call and bring me back.
When I was on the other side of the village center, we slowed to that of a human pace. Everyones mood changed slightly as we moved between people, questioning. I was about to duck off into the forest and sprint at my normal pace when I stopped dead in my tracks. I smelt her blood, but it was even stronger, she probably cut herself and is bleeding a little..
With just that simple act, my control slipped momentarily out of my fingers and I turned myself in her direction, I leaned back on my feet and was about to enjoy on her blood when Carlisle wrapped his arms around my stomach tightly from behind, restraining me. Snarling out of anger and frustration, I snappd at him fiercely with my venom-coated fangs and claw, hissing sharply. He merely tightens his old on me.
"Relax Jasper."
I shake my body wildly, trying to free myself from his grasp, growling menacingly.
"Let me go. Now"
The smell had lessoned, not completely dispersed but very much better than previously. He pushes me away from the direction of her and toward our home. Shuddering, I took more steps forward, another and another, furious with myself for the hold her blood has on me.
When I had finally made it into the forest, I took my rage out on an unsuspecting tree, punching it with my fist and shattering it to splinters.I ran the rest back home, when I could finally see my home rise up on the horizon I sat on the ground and sighed. "Well I didn't kill her, thats something" Unfortunately, if i stayed a second longer I know I would not stop to think of killing her.
"It certainly is"Carlisle agreed, I could tell by his tone that he was still worried about me, which is very understandable. I'm worried myself.
Standing with a sigh, I dusted myself off and walked over to the house. Alice was sitting on the porch, enjoying the sun. "Hey Jasper, Carlisle. Hows it going?" I nodded, I wasn't really in the mood to want to talk with her right now.
"That is yet to be expected, but he didn't hurt her which is the key aspect" He replied calmly.
As I moved onto the stairs, she got up and walked in front of me, casually blocking me .
"I just wanted to let you know that we are all proud that you stopped yourself and managed to control your thirst."
"Thanks... " I muttered, too tired to argue as I shuffled past her. I noticed my family doing various activities around the room, subtly watching as I threw off my coat and shoes and went up to my room. I flung myself down on my bed and just lay there, thinking.
Isabella Swan..
That night, I was restless, I couldn't get her blood off my mind, and I didn't really care that Edward knew that. I was close to running down to her place and finishing her off just to end my constant tormenting, unfortunately Edward, Emmett, Alice, Carlisle, Esme and reluctantly Rosalie came as well, to keep me from doing something they say I'll regret later.
When the sun-broke over the land, I was in a haze, changing my clothes one minute, sitting at the kitchen table the next and then in Emmett's jeep a few seconds later.
I didn't even notice where I was until I smelt that air again. I wasn't ready for this..... would i ever be? As she moved closer, the burning in my throat intensified to that of gut-wrenching pain. Don't think about it. I told myself,thinking off all the digits of Pi, I made it to 100 before she sat down.
"So, Jasper...." I scooted further away from her, it didn't help, that the smell of her blood was tattooed on my mind and every time she was around I wanted to...
"Jasper" She said again, I didn't dare chance looking at her.
"Yes?" My voice was strangled and weak.
"Uh.....why did you run away from me yesterday?" Her voice sounded hurt,as were her emotions, but she deserved it, after what her blood has done to me.
I didn't reply to her.
I kept my concentration on anything but her and this room, my whole body was locked in place. Her strawberry scented shampoo whirled around me, making her blood tinted with a sweet flavor. I sighed as she leaned forward.
I heard her mumble something incoherent and shuffle around uncomfortably, chancing a look to the right I saw her with her head down and her brown hair covering her eyes.
"D..do you want to ? " Her emotions were that of embarrassed and awkward, I couldn't understand it. Her face was red and her palms were sweaty.
"Do you mind repeating your request?" I asked, my voice stiff, hoping that my question would help make the blood in her cheeks recede.
Unfortunately, it did not help it to recede. Quite the opposite actually,her entire face turned dark red and her eyes grew wide.
" Well, I was just kinda.. wondering.. if maybe..you'd like to do something somtime.. maybe?" Her voice shook slightly as she finished her proposal, her eyes didn't shift from the spot on the ground she had fixed them on. I thought this through carefully and decided that I shouldn't take the chance. The further I was from her, the better it will be for everyone.
"I'm sorry, I remembered that I have some prior commitments, in the near future" I could see and feel the disappointment on her face, even without my abilities.
"Oh, well ok.. great" She sighed before turning back to Mr. Varner to jot down some last second notes of his morning lecture.
My mind was caught up in matters different from dissection and grades, but of the human sitting next to me. I wanted to touch her.
Bite her.
Tear her flesh apart..
I held my breath for the rest of class, and even after when the bell rung and people begun filing out slowly to their next class. I watched as she stuffed her binder and pencils in her backpack, zipped it up and turned to exit the room.
Coming up quickly behind her, I spun her around to face me, "Bella, I am busy in the near future but I would find it very satisfying if you would meet me at noon tomorrow in the big field behind the school" I smiled confidently that she would not resist.
She didn't.
It wasn't until later that I realized what I had just offered and she accepted, with willing ignorance.
So, that was it.
Review, Flame. All welcome! Let me know your thoughts, your ideas, anything really. ;D
So yah, dont think the next chapter will take quite so long, but I'm not going to set a date, because if I missed it I'd feel bad and guiltier (lol knowing me i would miss it XD)
-waves bye-
see you soon!