Anyone see the new episode of DP? It had Gary. Anyone notice they made Gary stupid? His last line? "Hey, Ash, friends 'til the end?" WHAT. THE. HELL?

Dawn also has, like, a mega crush on Gary. What's that shipping called? Biggest hints yet...

AAML

"We're going to wake up Misty!" May gasped as Ash slid in the horror movie. They sat comfortably in his house, getting ready for movie night, while the sleeping girl in question was nestled on the couch, her breathing even. "She'll be mad. I've seen her cranky. It's not pretty. Shouldn't you be a little more freaked out? You're sitting on the sofa. She'll go for you first and get most of her anger out of you."

Ash smirked. This wasn't a problem. It turns out he was one of the few people who understood the teen. Okay, well maybe he didn't quite understand her. Actually, he barely understood her. He did know some things, however, and that was all he needed for now. "You don't need to worry, May."

"What are you smirking about?" Drew asked. "Misty's going to beat the crap out of you. No one's going to help, either. Last time I tried to save you from the yellow, orange and red blur that tackled you into the ground I was held back by your closest friends and family. Your mom said to me, 'Oh, don't worry, my Ashy can handle himself'. You're going to be bruised and broken. Do you really want to take the chance?"

"Misty's not going to hurt me!" He smiled proudly.

"Why?"

"Because she's sleeping!" He laughed cockily. Yes, Ash was a brilliant boy. All his friends were staring at him. Staring with awe, he supposed. After that, he figured they were marveling at his greatness, he's genius, or at least he did until they all started yelling at him. Later on, he figured they were shocked at how stupid he must've sounded at that moment.

"Ash! You idiot!" Max snapped. "She can wake up! once she's finished with you, she might still be ticked! Maybe she'll be ticked enough that she'll come after us, and I don't want to get hurt! I'm finally older enough to get hit by the mallet!" He shuddered. Ash did too. It was a scary thought. "You better have a trick up your sleeve."

"I'm sure he does," Brock said, wandering in with a bowl of popcorn. "What did you do to her last night, Ash? How late was she up? She has a gym, now. You can't just steal her whenever you feel like it. She's got responsibilities too."

"Don't worry Brock, it was only one all nighters. It's not that bad, right?" He grinned. "We've done worse before. What was our record, three days straight? She's probably going to sleep in a little later tomorrow, definitely all through the night. I'm sure she'll wake up in the morning, though."

"What you do? Put a date rape drug in her hot chocolate?" Drew asked. "There's got to be a date rape drug involved."

"There's no date rape drug. Misty just can't stay up for two days in a row when she's got to battle the next day whereas Ash practically runs on a mix of caffeine, sugar, and energy drinks. That isn't healthy," Brock warned. "You're going to pay for it later in life."

"Hey, Pikachu, watch it!" Ash said quickly as the little mouse scampered along the back of the couch. He looked up and cocked his head to the side, then began rapidly yelling at Ash in his own little pokélanguage. "Hey, just a warning! Do you want to end up in Misty's chokehold? I can't find another pokémon like you! We've got a battle tomorrow and I don't need you tired. If you're going to sleep with her tonight you're not going to be able to move. You know how she'll hug anything when she's knocked out."

(Well, no duh, Ash. I was there.) He slid down and nestled in Misty's arms. (Don't worry, I'll be fine for the battle tomorrow.)

"How'd you figure that out?" Max asked innocently.

Ash avoided eye contact. "Figure what out? I don't know what you're talking about."

"Sure you do Ash," Brock said with an evil grin.

"Brock! Shut up!" Ash snapped. "You promised! You better keep your promise! If you don't, I'm never going to trust you ever again. I won't tell you anything! I won't tell you where I'm going, what I'm doing, if I've got a girlfriend, anything!"

"Relax, Ash," Brock cooled his temper. "I'm not going to tell anyone. You're secret's safe with me. Just play the movie." Hearts suddenly appeared in his eyes, "I heard that Officer Jenny from Viridian is in this one!"

"Don't you think of anything besides girls?" May scolded. Her anger disappeared as the lights began to dim. One leg crossed over the other and she leaned forward excitedly in her chair while Drew and Max lay down on the floor. "This is supposed to be the best horror film of the year and all you can think about is the women!"

"According to your diary, all you think about is Dr-ow!" Max grabbed the back of his where his sister had smacked him. He grumbled and tried to soothe the bump, not finishing his sentence in case may decided to hit him again.

"According to the rating, you shouldn't be watching this movie. It's rated R for nudity and swearing. Do you really think you're old enough to handle this?" Drew asked suspiciously, flipping the case over reflectively.

"Hey, I'm thirteen and I watch South Park," Max snorted. "There's nothing I don't know about nudity and swearing."

"What's mastication?" Max pulled a face. "I know what you're thinking, but you're wrong. Masticate means to chew. Since you got it wrong, you're not allowed to watch this movie." Brock smirked.

"Apparently I can't either," Drew mumbled. "I just want to hear the story Ash doesn't want us to know."

"Why? It's a stupid story!" Ash tried to sway him.

"If you don't want us to know, it's probably a funny story," Drew grinned as Ash fast forwarded through the previews. Ash was starting to get a little annoyed that his family hadn't gotten a DVD player yet, and instead had to live with stupid VHS. "Enlighten me. I'll tell you after I've heard it if it was worth hearing."

"You don't need to know, watch the movie," Ash said, blushing. He pushed Misty's legs out of the way, which only resulted in a strong kick to his back that sent him spiraling to the floor. He tried again, this time managing to land on the couch with Misty's feet pushing into his leg, apparently still trying to get him off.

The movie started, and, as in all good fanfics, Ash had a long flashback that makes up almost the entire story, and the author just wanted to make the one-shot longer by adding in an almost completely useless scene at the beginning. In this flashback, Ash was ten years old, three months, two weeks, and four days old. Also, he was six hours, twenty three minutes, and thirty two seconds old but who ever goes into that much detail?

Ash Ketchum did not get scared.

He wasn't ever scared of anyone or anything. He laughed at ghosts, goblins, and vampires. He snorted in the face of peril. He backed down to no monster. Why? He was a hero, first and foremost. Before he was Ash K, the Pokémon Master, fantastic trainer, compassionate, caring and loving, he was the Chosen One, the boy who saved the world.

But, before that, when there was no world to save, no pokémon to train, he was a boy. He was a small, young, easily terrified when the lights went out little kid. That Ashy-boy got nightmares. Usually, that didn't matter. He would jolt awake, hear the quiet snoring of his two best friends, and fall back asleep knowing he was safe with Pikachu and two great gym leaders nearby. However, Pikachu was sick, and they had each gotten their own bedroom. He was alone in the dark, had just awoke from a nightmare, and he was absolutely terrifed.

He lay there for a few minutes, staring up at the ceiling with his heart pounding in his chest. Ash's mind came up with all sorts of terrifying images and creature in the dark, pictures he couldn't banish. A houndour outside howled at the moon as the final straw. He leapt from the bed and pounded down the hall, wanting to get as gar from that room full of horrors as possible. He rushed into the nearest room and closed the door quickly behind him, hyperventilating.

There was gentle breathing in the room. It wasn't locked, either, but had a Do Not Disturb sign he had banged his hand against on the way in. That could only mean that it was one of his two friends, since they were the only three with non operating locks. Ash didn't make that much money. He needed discounts where he could get them. But which one could it be? Both would be awkward.

"I've got a mallet and I know how to use it!" The voice said, waking up.

Saying a word out of character, the terrified boy shut his eyes and breathed faster, whispering, "oh crap, not Misty."

"I hear you!" Misty snapped. "Go ahead, walk over here! I dare you! I'll kill you! You get out of my room or I'll bring out my pokémon! I'm the Cerulean gym leader, you think you can take me? You're dead!"

"Misty, it's me!" Ash hissed.

"…Ash?" She asked slowly.

"No, it's Pikachu," Ash muttered, embarrassed. Maybe it would've been better to have wound up in Brock's room. It might've been embarrassing, but at least Brock wouldn't beat him up and then send him back outside.

"What are you doing in my room? Get out of here! I'm trying to get some sleep, you idiot!" She chucked a pillow at his head and hit her mark.

"Hey! I thought we were friends, Mist," Ash whined.

Misty blew her bangs out of her face irritably. "We are, Ash, we're great friends, we're fantastic friends. You know that I'll always be here for you, thick and thin, through rain and snow, wind and hail."

"Thanks," Ash smiled.

"Now," Misty said, sling back. It turned into a frown. "Get out of my room!" She shouted, chucking another pillow at him, then stopped. "Wait, is something wrong with Pikachu? He's okay, isn't he? Ash! I'm sorry! He's fine, right?"

"Pikachu's fine," Ash said quietly. He sat down on the floor. "I haven't heard anything yet. They won't let me in to see. I wish I could be there with him."

"Don't worry, Ash, he's a fighter. He'll pull through. She's been through way worse. Go back to bed, we'll see her in the morning. By tomorrow we'll be camping." He voice drooped with sadness. "No more hotel rooms, no more air conditioning, no more beds. I'll just be with the stupid trees and disgusting bugs and you boys. Hmph, if it wasn't for that bike I'd be comfortable in a gym right now!"

Ash beamed up at her, "One day you're going to miss camping. You'll be old with thirteen children and eighty six grandchildren and you'll own a huge hotel but you'll want to go camping all the time."

"And to finish that nightmare, I'll be married to you, Ash! Now get out before I throw something heavy at your head, like a three thousand page hardcover dictionary!"

"Oh yeah? Well you're a three thousand page hardcover dictionary!"

"That's the dumbest insult I've ever heard!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Drop dead, Ash! I'm tired! Goodnight!" She turned her back on him and pulled the covers up, muttering just loud enough for Ash to hear if he strained his ears. "Stupid boy, don't know why he even came in here. I hate him so much. I wish he'd die. Just drop dead. Stupid boy. I want my bike back. Stupid boy."

"Mist," he whispered, crawling over to her bed. He kneeled at the side of the queen sized cot and set his chin on the edge. "Can I sleep here with you tonight? Please?"

That woke her up. She shot up so fast Ash fell backward onto the carpet. Her hand ran through her hair, a little nervous at the question. She glared at him. "Are you crazy, Ash? Get back to your room!"

"What's wrong with it?" Ash asked. "I'm scared. I had a bad dream and Pikachu isn't there and I don't want to go back in the hallway because it's really scary out there. Please let me sleep here tonight."

"No."

"Why?"

"Shut up!"

"Tell me why?"

"Girls and boys aren't supposed to sleep in the same bed or even the same room together. If you were eleven like me and you were smart like me, you'd know that. You can sleep on the floor in the hallway or in your bed."

"but married people sleep together, don't they?"

"Well, duh, Ash. It doesn't count if you're married or if you're really little. It only counts if you're big kids, like us."

"Well, we're both kinda short."

"No, would you get out of here!"

Ash crawled close to Misty and came eye to eye with her in the darkness. Her eyes were closed. She was trying to get to sleep again, even though she should've known by then it was pointless. "Misty," he whispered. "Please. Why not? Tell me why!" Her eyes opened again, and she yelped at the short distance between them. She didn't move this time, starting to get tired. "Good, you're up, now let me in."

"No!" She said, beginning to search for an answer. "Girls and boys aren't supposed to sleep together ever, ever, ever, ever! It's a rule and it's an important rule. We have to follow rules." She nodded surely, and plopped back down.

"What's the point of following the rule if you don't know why you're following it. I'm not going to hurt you, you're not going to hurt me. I'll be gone before Brock wakes up. No one'll know and I'll be able to get some sleep."

"What if something goes wrong with Pikachu and we have to run out? They'll see us come out of the same room and they'll know what's going on. It could happen, and with our luck, it will happen!"

"We'll say we were talking," Ash worked his way out of yet another plot hole. "We're talking. It's not a lie. See? We won't get in trouble. Don't make me go back. It's really creepy in my bed."

"But Ash," Misty whined. "I kick in my sleep."

"You kick in the day," Ash snorted. "Wanna see the bruise you gave me today? It's so cool looking. It's yellow now but you can't really see it because it's so dark in here." He began to pull up his pants and look at his leg.

"Ash, go away, please?" She begged.

"Why?"

She sighed and blushed, thanking her lucky stars the room wasn't lit. "Okay, Ash. I…I tend to, uh, hug things when I'm sleeping." He heard her shift uncertainly. "I hug anything, even people. Well, except my sisters."

"What do you do to them?"

"I kick them out of the bed." She grinned. "It hilarious, except when I wake up and all of a sudden my sisters are beating me up with a pillow and stealing my diary to read over the gym speakers whenever we had a show."

"Okay, how about you wait until I fall asleep and then you go back to my bed?" Ash suggested. She smacked him across the back of the head. "What? That solves both our problems. It's just for one night."

"No way!" I have to stay awake and watch you fall asleep, then I have to walk down the hall and fall asleep! By the time that happens it'll be morning and I'll be exhausted. I won't wake up for anything." She sighed. "I probably won't wake up at all know. It's too late. Ash, you're so selfish. I deserve to get some sleep too. What makes you so special that you're allowed to keep me up?"

Ash sighed. He couldn't believe he would sink so low. There went the last bit of his dignity. "Because Pikachu's sick and I'm nervous and I'm scared cuz I just had a nightmare and I don't wanna be alone and," he sighed and made puppy dog eyes, "I'm just a kid."

Misty stared at him, searching for something she could say that wasn't completely heartless. She only come up with one. She scooted back, lifted the covers, and groaned. "Get in, Ash, just for tonight."

"Thank you, Misty! If it wouldn't be so weird I could kiss you!" He scrambled into bed and curled up with her, still smiling. Thanks a bunch."

"Welcome," She sighed, turning her back to him and closing her eyes. "Hey, Ash, if you don't mind me asking, what was your it about? Er, I mean, your nightmare. Was it about, like, a monster or something?"

"Well, you know how we first met, one of my first days as a trainer?"

"Yeah."

"You remember those spearow that were chasing me?"

"Oh, Ash, don't tell me you're still scared of those spearows!" Misty gasped.

"I'm not scared!" Ash argued. "I just get nightmares about them sometimes. I think they tried to kill me. So I should be allowed to have nightmares sometimes. I think they tried to kill me, so I could have nightmares sometimes. Doesn't make me a baby or anything. I'm not a baby. Even grown-ups get scares sometimes, right Misty?"

"Why are you asking me, Ash? I dunno about that. I'm eleven. Do I look like a grown up?" She mumbled, hugging her pillow, hoping Ash wouldn't ask for hers. Apparently, he didn't care, because he just kept on talking.

"But besides Brock and my mom, you're the most grown up person I know. That, or you're really good at pretending. You'd know if grown-ups got scared. Don't you know practically everything?" He asked.

"I don't know everything."

"You know more than me." Then, in a much quieter tone, "I can't believe you know more than me. I got beaten by a girl!"

Misty giggled, "So I beat you in Scrabble. You're not the best with words. Stick to training, Ash. Maybe you'll get somewhere." She frowned. "Ash! You're waking me up now! Thanks a lot!" Her arms crossed over her chest and she gave him a sharp kick to the back of his legs. "Show me that bruise tomorrow!"

"Hey!" he giggled. "Now you're keeping me up. If you want to go to sleep you're going to have to get me asleep first." He taunted. "Now I just feel wide awake. Sorry Misty, I don't think I'm going to get to sleep at all tonight."

"I could hit you so hard you get knocked out? How's that for getting you to sleep, you jerk?" Ash snickered. Misty's frown reappeared. "What do you want from me? Warm milk? A freaking bes time sotry?"

"Bed time story!" Ash grinned. "I'll try my best to fall asleep, promise Misty." He tried his cutest smile out of her, but she still wasn't looking his way. He tapped her shoulder. "Please, Misty! You want me to sleep, right?" He turned around so they were back to back again and waited for her to began to talk.

"I hate you so much," Misty said through gritted teeth. "Once upon a time there was a happy region called Maiso. Everyone in the region was very happy. In fact, they were so happy, they sang songs all day long about magical rainbows and sunshine. They were friends with pokémon and worked together in perfect harmony, sending joy throughout the magic kingdom of Maiso." Ash thought of correcting her and explaining that, not too long ago, she had called it a region, but thought better of it. "Suddenly, a burning fire ball of hell came down from the sky and killed everyone in a fiery apocalypse like the scary movie marathon we watched three nights ago in that really pretty hotel. The end."

"That wasn't a bedtime story. That was just a really bad campfire story," Ash remarked. "Hm, maybe you should try a lullaby to help me fall asleep. I love lullabies, and you can sing pretty, can't you?"

" 'Rock a bye, Ashton, in the deep lake, swimming under the rock, while the ground starts to shake. Ten the rocks slip, they'll hit Ash's head, and if Misty's lucky the boy will be dead.' " Misty sang quietly, her teeth starting to grind together.

"You made that up just for me?" Ash asked with false appreciation. "I love it."

"That's a lullaby I wrote for myself," Misty snapped.Ash yawned and snuggled under the covers. He felt at home, almost, with the sound of an angry woman yelling at him. "That's why I hum it so often. You know, Ash, I honestly don't know what's wrong with you. You're so happy all the time. You're so brace, but you run into my room the second you get a nightmare. Why couldn't you have gone into Brock's room and bothered him and…Ash?" The boy she thought she was speaking to had begun to snore quietly. Of course, when she wasn't trying, that's when he fell asleep. She was feeling a little tired herself, though. She slipped under the covers again and let her eyes closed, promising it would just be for a second. Then she'd run back to his bed and get a good night's sleep.

Well, we all know that didn't happen, because if it did, this would be one pointless and boring and disappointing fanfic, now wouldn't it?

"Good morning, Ash," Came the sniggering voice. "Did you sleep well?"

Ash rubbed his eyes drowsily. Actually, e had slept great that night. He hadn't had a single nightmare after stealing Misty's bed. He had a weird dream with him and Misty, but he didn't want to talk about that one. Just thinking about it made his stomach feel funny. "Yup, slept great, why?"

"Oh, nothing," Brock chuckled.

"Ash tried to get up, then came to the frightening realization that he couldn't. "Brock! Something's got me! You've got to help me! Punch them or get out your pokémon or something! Don't just stand there!"

"I'm not the kind of guy who goes after Sleeping Beauty."

"Sleeping Beauty?" Ash repeated. "What do you mean by that?"

"Ash, how many people do you travel with?" Brock asked slowly, still smirking. He couldn't wait for the reaction when the boy figured this one out.

"Three."

"Really, who are they?" Brock raised an eyebrow.

"You, Pikachu, and Misty," Ash said proudly.

"Okay, good answer," Brock agreed. "Now, if I'm standing in front of you, and Pikachu's in the emergency ward, there's one missing. Ash, do you remember where Misty was last night? We're in room one thirty two, think about your answer."

Ash paled. "Misty!" His mouth dropped open and he looked behind him. Sure enough, Misty's arms were wrapped tightly around his waist. "Misty! Wake up! Get up! It's morning! You're doing the hugging thing!"

"Well, Ash, it doesn't look like Misty's waking up so-"

"It's not what it looks like!" He said hurriedly. "Brock, you've gotta help me! She's hugging me and I don't know what to do! Can we not talk about this? Just wake her up, please! This is really weird!"

"So Ash, why don't you tell me what you were doing in Misty's room? Did you finally tell her you madly in love and spend the whole night kissing?" He teased, putting his hands in his pockets. As far as he knew, neither of the two knew what intercourse was, and the two of them wouldn't be making out anytime soon. He wasn't worried about anything happening between the two kids. The odds that they would admit they liked each other were thin. The odds they actually kissed were much thinner.

"Brock!" He flushed. "That's not funny! I had a nightmare and I didn't want to be alone! Misty told me not to but I couldn't help it! I didn't know we'd end up like this! Now she won't wake up!"

Ash thrashed for a second, then went stiff. Misty's arms reflexively held tighter, her fingers lightly brushing against a patch of skin his shirt had slid away from. Her face buried down into his shoulder. He felt weird, freaky, tingly. All in all, it wasn't a bad feeling. It was still freaking the poor boy out, and he was already freaked out to began with. He did not want to be there at all. "Brock! Help me!" he squeaked desperately.

"Why, Ash, you look comfortable? Misty seems to be happy too."

"But Brock!" Ash gasped desperately. "She's touching me. I mean, she's never even shook my hand before! She doesn't touch and now she's touching me!" Ash panicked, afraid to thrash again in case she pulled him closer.

"You should be glad, Ash. People would kill to have one of the Sensational Sisters holding them like that. Especially if they had a crush on the one that was holding them like…" He grinned and gestured to the two.

"I don't like her!" Ash shouted, "She just won't let me go! It's her fault and she's sleeping so it's just an accident! Wake her up!"

Brock calmly stood up, strode out of the room, then returned with an ice bucket filled with water, still cold from the ice that melted the night before. He turned it over and splashed both of them, soaking Misty through, but only dampening Ash. Misty leapt up, gasping at the sudden chill. "Brock! Why'd you do that?" Misty squealed. "I was comfy!"

"I'll say," Brock smirked.

"Huh?"

"Cuddling with your little boyfriend had to be one of the nicest ways to sleep, huh?" Brock began laughing as a look of horror draped across Misty's face. "Hey, Misty, you look a little scared. Are you afraid I'll find out what you did last night."

"It's not what you think!" She cried. "Ash! He had a nightmare! It's a long story Brock but I warned him! I told him I hugged thing in my sleep but he wouldn't leave! He would listen! He's…he's horrible Brock!"

"That's not what you thought before," Brock chuckled. "You seemed to like hugging him a lot. You didn't even want to let him go. You just kept hugging him tighter and tighter."

"But…but I can't help what you do in my sleep," Misty gasped desperately. "You can't make fun of my for thins I can't control! It's not like I meant too, I was sleeping and it happened! I can't control that!"

Ash, seeing his chance to finally make fun of the only female friend he had, jumped right in. "Yeah, Misty! Do you like me or something? Do you wanna kiss me?"

"Well, if you think everything you do in your sleep is really how you feel, then maybe you and Misty should be a couple. With the things you were saying when you walked in this morning, I thought…well, maybe I should get a second opinion and find out what Misty thinks."

"Wait!" Ash stopped him, beginning to blush. "Er, wuh-what was I, uh, um, saying?" Ash stuttered out. Brock waved him closer. Ash looked uneasy for a moment, then jumped off the bed and over to Brock. As the older boy began to whisper, Ash paled. "I didn't say that! You're lying, Brock!"

"Yes you did."

"Nuh-uh!"

"Ash, yes you did," Brock said, rolling his…eyes…(A/N: Not going there, NOT going there) "You say that stuff almost every morning. If you don't believe it, I'll get a tape recorder and you can hear yourself say it."

"Fine," Ash blushed. "You win this time. But you better not tell anyone about this…or what I say in my sleep!"

"I have to tell Misty something, Ash. You have to be on equal ground." Brock smirked in the girl's direction. "On of the things he says is all about how he doesn't want you to leave him and he's sorry he's so mean to you."

Ash flushed again, racing out the door with Brock following, explaining Pikachu runs the other way. Meanwhile, Misty quietly pulled the pillow to her chest and grinned to herself. "I got to hug Ash Ketchum," she sang quietly, twisting back and forth. "I got to hug Ash Ketchum. I don't even care if I was sleeping!"

Ash's head popped back in. "Hey, Misty. Aren't ya comin'? Whatchya doin' with that pillow?" Her answer? A pillow to the back of the head and shriek of 'get out'!

I'm turning out a lot of AAML. I think it's because of the overwhelming amount of DAML. Jees, I thought pokeshipping owned the fandom, but no. Contestshipping pwns all, turns out. They're are turning out more and more each day. It's like a 1:5 ratio of any other shipping: contestshipping.

I mean, holy jees, you guys are writing a LOT.

No offense to the people who like them, but I'm getting really sick of May and Dawn being so happy all the time.

Whether you're near, or whether you're far, it makes authors happy when you R and R!