Slip of the Tongue

by Bittersweet Romanticide

A Collection of 50 AAML and DAML oneshots. Rated T for language and crude humor. Chapter 4 sucks, skip it. AM stands for pokeshipping, DM stands for constestshipping.

47. AMDM THEMES: The Final Battle

Disclaimer: I don't own Hershey's chocolate syrup, very depressing topic, if I do say so myself. Nor do I own: Dora the Explorer, Naruto, "Wild Thing", the Toys 'R' Us Song, AMP, Gilligan's Island, "Dulcinea" from "The Man of La Mancha", "The Man of La Mancha", "The Phantom of the Opera", "Cats", "Peter Pan".

I apologize for the length, and you will never have one this long again!

1. THEME: Light--Pairing: AAML--Title: Flash

It was the first boom of thunder that jolted Brock from his slumber. His eyes darted around the room for a moment before he relaxed with a sigh. His little brother and sisters were not in the nearly quiet room with him, just two sets of uneven breaths from Ash and Misty. The rain slapped the side of the center with the muffled wet waves of a vicious storm, a sound he was well used to facing along. Another lightning bolt flashed and he could've sworn he heard a yelp from his younger male companion. He smiled. He's give until the thunder before he heard his favorite words (as a big brother, not as a pervert).

Then the thunder boomed and small feet pounded across the floor. Ash stared for a moment, his face suspended in the light, too pale to be natural, before it all faded. It was half hidden behind Pikachu, but still shaking with horror and holding wide eyes. "Hey, Brock-o, do you mind if, uh, well, it's not like you have to or anything. I don't need to. I 'm not scairt or anything. I was wondering if I could maybe, uh, sleep in your bed tonight. It's fine if you don't want me to. It's probably a stupid idea anyway."

Brock chuckled, glad for his logic. He had bought a queen sized bed for the room, instead of the usual bunk bed/single combination. He shuffled over and patted the bed next to him, restraining another laugh as he felt Ash bounce in. "It's no problem, Ash. I'm an older brother. It's what I do."

"Thanks a bunch, Brock! I won't do this every night, I swear. You don't need to worry. It's just the first time I've been away from home. Well, not away from home, but I've never been away when there's a thunderstorm before," Ash blushed and dived deep under his covers. "Really sorry. Goodnight."

"No problem," Brock grinned, a little touch of wonder filling his mind. Was everyone going to fit in this bed? "I don't know why you're saying goodnight though. We've still got a third musketeer waiting. You want to make a bet on how long it'll take for Misty to race over? I'll give her until the next flash of lightning."

"Misty?" Ash asked. He shook his head. "No way, Brock. You're nuts! She's not afraid of anything! She'll probably make fun of me for being scared of the storm. I don't know how you could think she'll get scared. Oh! Did she tell you she hated lightning storms, like she hates bugs?"

"No, Ash," He laughed quietly. "But Misty's the same age as you, remember? She's a kid too. Just wait. Once she gets over her pride she'll come over. Then we'll get to sleep. Well, I'll get to sleep. You'll probably be able to sleep just fine knowing that she's terrified in her bed, won't you?" He asked.

"I don't think so," Ash mumbled. "I think she's not scared of anything." But, not wanting to get scolded and feeling too tired to argue, he let his eyes slip close. He was sure Brock would figure out exactly what kind of person Misty was, the way Ash knew what kind of person she was. She wouldn't show up that night.

Of course, he was a little startled when the thunder boomed again but jumped more at the small whimper that came from across the room. He heard and faintly saw Misty hiding her head under the covers, her nails digging deep into her red knapsack she clutched in place of a stuffed animal. Ash hesitated, then turned to Brock with a questioning glance, not daring to speak in case Misty discovered where he was. He jerked his thumb over his shoulder to get his point across, and the older boy snorted.

"Hey, Misty?" Brock called softly. "Misty, are you up? We saw you move. Did the storm wake you?"

"The thunder just did," She murmured. Her voice trembled a bit, with fear rather than the drowsy, just-woke-up tone one would expect. "That one would rattle a house. I bet a lot of kids will have problems sleeping tonight." She pulled the covers from her face and stared. "Ash…is in your bed. That is Ash, isn't it? It's got to be! He's holding Pikachu!" Misty gawked. "What's Ash doing in your bed?"

Ash felt the color rise to his cheeks and shifted uncomfortably. "I couldn't sleep , is all," Ash snapped. "You couldn't sleep either, so just shut up! You woke up because of the storm just like I did! You're a little kid like me! Brock even said so!"

"No like you!" Misty snapped. "I sleep in my own bed because I'm not a little kid! See? I'm not scared, I just woke up, that's all! You have to sleep with Brock because you're just some stupid baby!"

"I'm not a baby!"

"You are too!"

"Nu-uh, only kids are scairt of bugs are babies! You're allowed to be scairt of the dark and of thunder and lightning and stuff like that!"

"You don't know what you're talking about!" Misty snarled. "Babies never do!"

"Okay, that's enough," Brock scolded. "Misty, Ash, if neither of you are babies how about we stop acting like them? There's nothing wrong with being scared of thunder storms or being scared of bugs. Misty, if you want to sleep here too it's okay. You're still technically a kid. All of my brothers and sisters don't stay in bed during the thunderstorms and I know a few of them that are older than you."

Misty humphed and turned her back on them. "Well, that may be how it works for you, but I haven't done that kind of thing since I was six years old. I don't need to run away from the storm. I know it can't get me in here." Thunder crashed especially loud this time and both youngsters screamed. Ash grinned a second later, giving a loud 'ha' and pointing at her accusingly. "It surprised me! And, besides, how can anyone but a snorlax sleep with that loud pounding outside?"

"Everyone else in the Center," He giggled. "Admit you're scare and get over here. You'll whine about being tired tomorrow if you don't. I promise I won't tell anybody. Hey, if I spread the word that you're a baby, you're just going to spread it around that I'm a baby and then everyone's going to make fun of me during pokemon battles. But I bet you wouldn't do that anyway. I bet you secretly like me and are too nice to do that."

"Hey, I'm not a baby and I'm not nice!" Misty shouted. She couldn't contain the whimper that came out of her mouth as she saw lightning flash, this one seeming to be much closer than before, then hid under her covers as the thunder hit once more.

Ash stared at the girl for a moment, then rolled out of his bed and crawled across the floor. Before the next round of storm noises he had grabbed her wrist and, ignoring her yelps and squirming, dragged and pushed her into the bed with the other two boys with a proud smile on his face. He jumped in beside her, sandwiching the poor girl in between them, then giggled when Pikachu licked his cheek goodnight.

"I don't want to be here," She growled, punching Ash's shoulder. "And I'm stuck here with two stupid boys on either side of me. You're intolerable, both of you. You sure don't know how to treat a woman! I'm so telling your parents."

"I know," He laughed. "But…well, you're scared, Mist. Even if you don't want to admit it, we know you are. It's better for us to be scared together than alone." He tapped her arm, getting her to look him in the eye. "If nothing else, well, you can just say you're keeping me from getting scairt of storms."

"Scared, Ash, not scairt, and it doesn't make any sense!" She whined. "You face all sorts of adventures and villains and do all kinds of scary things! None of the others stuff you do is scarier than this! You shouldn't be so scared and have to sleep with Brock, and neither should I!"

"Well, I guess not," He shrugged. "But, it's just like now! I'd be scared to do it all on my own, but it's not nearly so bad when I've got you, Brock and Pikachu! See? When you're with other people that you know will keep you safe, nothing seems so bad!"

The thunder and lightning clashed almost together this time, louder and brighter than ever before. Two grinning face, one sleeping yellow one, one brown one pretending to be sleeping were lit in the flash, but not a scream was heard. Then the light blinked out, the thunder settled to the waves of rain, and three trainers lay snoring in one bed.

2. THEME: Hunger--Pairing: DAML --Title: Big Breakfast

You can always tell when there is a change. You can usually tell most of all when there is an attempt for the change to be hidden.

Though, Drew did not believe he was an animal person, the pokemon were not alone in noticing the change in Ms. Maple. Everything about her seemed downcast, from the way she walked and talked to the way her smile wasn't anything more than a pair of upturned lips. Her features were sharpened by the abrupt loss of baby fat, her shirt hanging looser and her eyes sinking back into her head with an almost lifeless gleam.

And yet, though he was disgusted with himself for feeling that way, she had not yet passed the point where features hallowed too far and bone jutted out too harshly. She was comfortably situated in the 'model' ranger of appearance, and she looked lovely. In truth, the 'diet' she had been doing was working, and any side effects of the malnutrition, the dulled hair, the dulled skin, were easily covered up with dye, strange shampoo, beauty products.

"Want lunch?" Drew asked. His cocky tone had faded, the smirk that once constantly graced his lovely features had long, long ago been replaced with a hopeful smile. A smile that hoped that, maybe, the girl would one day respond with an answer everyone could enjoy, not the empty lie that followed.

"I'm not hungry," She smiled.

He couldn't help but stare at her a moment. A false expression it may have been, but it was lovely. There was no more question of whether or not he found himself attracted to her, that 

every moment was just to resist the temptation of her perfume doused body, mixed with the smell of sweat from long days of walking in the sun. Even May had begun to notice the long, infatuated glances he threw her way. "You're never hungry, May. I never see you eat. I never see you drink anything but water either, plain water. Zero calorie water all day long. I bet that helps wean off the hunger a bit."

She laughed, a woman's laugh that knew too much of the world. "I am watching my weight, Drew. You know I am. You don't need to worry so much about me. I'm a big girl. I can't take care of myself and I don't need your protection. I'm not the same girl who can barely win a contest."

They were quiet for a minute, Drew's fork tapping his plate. "You can't go on like this. You won't be pretty if you keep this up. There's such a thing as being too skinny. Have a damn salad, for Mew's sake. Eat healthy, at least! Be a damn vegan for all I care, but you should eat. You want to move up to flavored water? Drink one, May! Drink it without looking at the calories or adding them up in your head! I never should have made you lose the calculator! You ate then! It may have been obsessive and strange but, fuck, it's definitely better than what you're doing to yourself now! Anything's better than what you're doing to yourself now!"

"Calm down, Drew. Do I look like I'm anorexic?" She smiled condescendingly, a child worried too much about his mother on a topic he knew nothing about. "If you really want I'll take a bite of your salad. I don't really like the dressing you put on it, but if it'll make you feel better…"

"All the while counting the step you'll have to take to walk it off," He hissed venomously. "I'm not stupid, May! I know what you're doing! Everyone knows what you're doing but you won't get help and there's not a thing we can do to help! There's nothing I can do to help, but, Mew, if you can just admit you have a problem I'd let it go for a bit! We could talk about it and see someone to help!" Drew cried. "May, I'm begging you, please."

"You're overreacting to a bit of weight loss," She shook her head, the patronizing look never fading from her eyes.

"You're overreacting to his death!" Drew spat. The smile locked on her face, but anger and fear rose in the blue. "Yes, I know. It's all about him! Max is dead, May. We've all come to terms with it but you! You're going through every health class textbook symptom! You couldn't control delaying his death and now you're trying to control everything else from our path to your weight! What you don't realize is you're killing yourself in the process! Dammit, you can't be anymore after school special! Eat your lunch! Take mine! Eat something instead of becoming a skinny zombie that's going to show up on some future health video!"

And, as if to mock his 'textbook case', she flashed him her fake porcelain doll smile and said, "No thanks. I had a big breakfast."

3. THEME: Beginning --Pairing: AAML--Title: Birthday

There was something about that moment that was just pure miracle; there was no other way to describe it. It should've been disgusting, revolting, Ash and Misty had certainly thought it would be when Brock had described it to them. But for some reason, when it hit the straw with a wet, heavy thud, neither could bring themselves to do anything but stare with wide eyed delight. Its head rose, looking around with thrilled eyes and quite enjoying its new world so different than the one it had been living in the past few months. The mother then came over, nuzzling it tenderly and prompting it to stand.

They had never seen a foal before. It was disgusting and revolting, but cute. Ash could never live with himself ever again for melting over a baby, but somehow it was worth it when Misty's 

hand dropped over his, a subconscious reaction to the weak creature before her. It didn't clutch, didn't squeeze, just lay on top of his like a butterfly too tired to fly any further. It sure made his heart flutter like the wings of one.

"It's beautiful, Ash, don't you love it? I've never seen a baby…animal…that doesn't, you know, come out of an egg. It's weird to think that," She swallowed. "That's how we got here. That's how my baby will get here. I can't believe that's how…" She trailed off, once in her life unable to come up with any words. She just kept the slightly dazed, completely amazed smile stuck to her face and half closed her eyes.

"I don't think we fall that far to the ground. Well, unless the doctor misses and you hit the hospital floor, but you might not last as long as the foal after that." He joked. He half expected the hard smack on the back of his head because of such a cruel joke. That's what usually happened. But this time, she let it go with a giggled and leaned on him. The tingly, butterfly feeling increased, but he fought the instinct to scramble away.

"I guess you're right. But…you know what I mean, don't you?" She giggled again as the baby gave a little squeal, then jumped at the sound of its own voice. "Isn't it adorable Ash? Just look at him…her…do you know which one it is?"

"It's a girl," Brock confirmed. "Healthy and strong. Do either of you two know what that makes her? What do you call a girl baby horse." The two shrugged. "A filly. A boy is a colt. If you don't have a gender in mind it's a foal. Can you two remember that?"

"Ash probably can't," Misty giggled. "I don't think he can even remember how to put his hat on right. From what his mother says, he can't even remember to change his underwear. By the way, Ash, your mother told me to ask you if you have been changing your underwear. So, have you? I think I remember a few days where you didn't bother changing out of the clothes you had just traveled in."

"Aw, shut up!" He cried, trying not to laugh and not succeeding.

"Did your doctor miss you when you came out?"

And then they were both giggling, banging into each other playfully and tugging lightly at hair. It turned into a play-fight, wrestling, strange dance that caused them to tumbled to the floor, rolling all around and laughing loudly all the while.

"Like colts and fillies leaping through a meadow," Brock asked with a grin, "Right, Pikachu? I guess this is what happens when you mix the miracle of life and a love hate relationship. I have to say, it's pretty weird."

Then the laughter stopped as an endorphin high Misty, still grinning, leaned forward just far enough to plant a soft, lingering kiss on his cheek. And though she pushed off of him, he could do no more than lay there, mouth open in a horrified 'O', looking on the brink or fainting or going into a panic attack. He leapt to his feet and raced back up to her, crashing into her and the stable door a little harder then intended.

"Hush up, Ash," She scolded. "I want to see the newborn filly." She wriggled her fingers. "Hey there cutie! Yeah, hi. Hey sweetie. Aren't you adorable? Yeah, pretty girl. Today is a very special day for you, filly. Happy Birthday!"

4. THEME: Green--Pairing: DAML --Title: Grow

She was surprised, having never seen the boy do anything like this before, and it probably would be weird to her no matter how many times she saw it. But wandering into Drew, getting his clothes, his name brand clothes, being covered and destroyed by soil and fertilizer made her mouth drop open. For, Drew, the boy who eternally chopped things down, destroyed them, made people sob and cry for mercy at his relentless taunting, could not possibly be helping something come to life.

She walked to him, her feet lightly crunching against the crisp dew covered grass and looking up at the gray cloud sky until she drew even with the boy. She plopped onto the grass beside him, and stared for a moment, biting her lip. She didn't want to talk, in case he would be angry with her and start snapping. Also, it seemed almost a peaceful moment and it would be a sad thing to ruin it. But, it was not made to last forever, and eventually the boy looked up with a raised eyebrow.

"Hello," He blinked. "What are you staring at? There's nothing much going on here. Shouldn't you be training for a contest?"

She stared back, searching for words, and then sighed. "I should be. I know. I just needed a break, I guess. I trained all day yesterday, so I'm not exactly slacking off. Yes, eevee deserves some training even if the baby isn't in the contest but…I need a break. You look liked you're taking a break, so should you really be talking, Drew-bee?"

"What have I told you about that nickname?" He scolded. "I never liked that name and I never will. And, if you remember, I can't compete in the contest. I was challenged to a battle, and I couldn't very well say no, but even though I won with my brand new ponyta, he's too tired to battle tomorrow. I can't enter him in the contest, especially if I know how much it'll hurt him to battle."

"What are you doing, Drew-bee?" She asked, not at all swayed by his scolding. She brought her knees to her chest and set her chin on them with a smile. "I never thought I'd see the day where you'd be outside and not following me around until I cry. Instead you're out here doing…?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" He retorted, pulling out a bulb. "This, is going to grow into something pretty, a tulip, to be exact. I'm going to plant it in the dirt, water it, and let it grow. That's what one usually does when they garden. So, as is proper, I'm following the traditions of gardeners everywhere and growing something green."

"Is it some kind of 'green planet' thing you got into?" May asked again, watching as he placed the bulb in the dirt and covered it lovingly with soil. "I haven't heard any of this stuff. Were you walking through the park and they gave you something to plant? I want to get one! Gardening sounds like fun!"

"It's hard work, too," Drew told her, clapping his hands together to rid them of dirt. "You have to dig and water and it gets hot and cold and it can be a very demanding hobby." He stood up and brushed off his knees. "And, no, May, I'm not doing this because of some 'go green' plan. I'm doing this because, believe it or not, I enjoy gardening. I can't stand people, but I'm quite good with plants."

"Is your favorite color green?" She teased.

"Actually, it's maroon," He smirked. "Like the roses I give you. I like other flowers though, trees too. For instance, you know how Four Tree City has huge trees?" He asked, extending a hand to help her to her feet.

She eyed it carefully, then took it, allowing him to help her up. She half expected him to drop her, but he didn't, and began to walk. He took it for granted that she would follow. "Yes, I know all about that city."

"One of my ancestors planted one of those four trees," He grinned. "It's one of the best parts of my family tree, and that's not supposed to be a pun." He looked at her for a second, barely meeting her gaze. "My family…we're good at helping things grow, nurture them, well, everything except people."

"What about intangible things?" May asked quietly.

"Like…love?" He said uncertainly. She nodded, a blush staining her cheeks. "Well, I could always give that a shot. I've never tried to grow that, but, I'm sure I can handle the work. I garden, don't I?"

She smiled at him. "And gardening's hard work."

5. THEME: Chocolate -Pairing: AAML --Title: Truth or Dare (A/N: Well, dammit, everyone else has one! Why can't I?)

"Alright, now that we're settled? Truth or dare?" Ash asked, the two of them content with their s'mores and Brock beside them. Though, Brock was snoring in his chair and the two of them were juggling a stick in every hand while the marshmallows roasted. The campfire crackled, the only thing to cast a light, for even Pikachu had long since curled up in Ash's lap to snore and give off no more bright sparks. "And no, you can't choose 'truadare' because I don't know what that is."

She grinned, licking a bit of marshmallow and a majority of chocolate from her lips. "You know, I never would've started playing if you hadn't promised to horde away the Hershey's syrup if I didn't. That was an awfully mean thing of you to do, you know. I need that syrup." She turned a marshmallow, making sure all sides were evenly roasted. "And, as to your question, I dunno. I could choose dare, or I could choose truth. I can't make up my mind. What do you think, Togepi?" She asked, knowing her question fell on unhearing ears. The egg was locked inside its shell and rocking back and forth in sleep. "I guess I'll choose dare."

"I dare you," Ash began excitedly, then trailing off in thought for a moment as he struggled with a good dare. "How about you give me a compliments, and not the backhanded kind. That's just an insult with a bright side, if you ask me."

"You're nice," She shrugged casually, loving the laid-back version of T and D only true friends could play. "You're very nice, insanely nice. You help others without knowing their name and you're always smiling. Now, that could be a strength or a weakness depending on which way you want to look at it. I like to think of it as a strength, since there aren't a lot of hero types like you anymore. So, which way do you want to think of it as?"

"I'll take it as a compliment," Ash beamed. "Quick, pass the chocolate syrup. I've got another marshmallow about ready to eat. I need another graham cracker too. No! It's about to burn!" He blew the marshmallow, making sure it was cool, then ate it whole off the stick. "Never mind, I got it," He said around a mouthful of lightly charred mega-marshmallow. As he chewed, he couldn't help but wonder exactly where Misty had managed to find marshmallows this big.

"Truth or dare?" She sighed, a bit disgusted at his manners and having to see his squished up marshmallow in his mouth.

"Truth," Ash said firmly.

"Why do you always choose the opposite of what I do? No! That's not your question!" She giggled as he opened his mouth to answer. She thought for a moment. "If this is too personal, you don't have to answer." Misty started, then blew on a marshmallow she caught on fire. Half brown, half black, she pulled it off the stick with her teeth. "What happened with your dad? Did he run off or…I'm just wondering because you never mention him and the one time we asked you said he's not around. You don't have to answer if you don't want to. You can always tell me whether or not you think Adele Carlotta is hot."

"She is hot, even I can't lie about that, Mist," He laughed. "I don't care if she was your best friend in Catholic school and still has no breasts. She's very pretty." Then, he sighed. " You know how secretive grownups are with that stuff. I don't know what happened to my dad. My mom might not either. She says it was a complicated situation, but my dad isn't here right now. She says she'll tell me when I'm older." He shrugged, still downcast. "What about you parents. What's up with them?"

"You didn't ask truth or dare," Misty said quietly. "It's fine. I would've said 'truth' anyway. So, I might as well tell you, but it's your turn next. My mom ran off. Dad said she had a lot of problems, and she just lost it. Too many rounds of postpartum depression drove her up the wall. He said it wasn't anyone's fault but hers. Daddy died of cancer though, later on. At least I got to know him though. You didn't even get to meet your dad."

He sighed and shook his hand, offering her chocolate syrup with his free hand, the other still toasting a marshmallow. "You need this more than I do. After all, I've still got a parent. I've got my mom, and you know how great she is."

"Nuh-uh, you keep it, Ashley. I've got my sisters. We're not real close but…there's something there, I guess. We're still some sort of family." She smiled. "This is getting sad. Let's talk about something else."

"Do you always have to bring the Ashley thing up?" He muttered, blushing. "So I wore a dress, lots of men have. And I just did it to get a badge. It's not like I'm addicted to it now, or anything. I don't know how girls wear dresses. They're hot and uncomfortable and you can feel your legs rub together in that really, really weird way. At least I didn't have to wear heels. That would've been horrible."

"Truth…or dare?" Misty asked, grinning in a wild way that showed she had a good one in mind.

"Dare," he answered, all too easy to predict.

"Sleep in your bathing suit tonight…without your sleeping bag. You're gonna freeze and get bitten so bad!" She giggled. He moaned. Though, on paper (or on screen) this did not seem like such a horrid dare, it was actually one of the worst things a traveler could imagine. It was often cold, windy, and almost enough to make a ten year old cry. Almost. Ash was a little too brave of a boy to cry because of a few bug bites and chill.

"T or D?" Ash sighed, already feeling depressed for the night ahead of him.

"D-d-d-dare," She grinned, already confident that nothing could be worse than the dare she dished out.

"I dare you to wear my clothes tomorrow," He laughed. Misty's happy face turned to one of horror. "Yup, all day. From when you get up to when we go to sleep. You have to wear my 

clothes, my boy clothes, all day. Don't worry. I'm sure Brock and I won't get too dizzy laughing!"

And he didn't lie. After a few minutes of laughter, mostly because it was Ash's clothes she was wearing and not the fact that they were made for a boy, they settled down and both agreed that for some strange reason, boy fitting clothes gave her an almost more attractive figure and adultish appearance. Strangely enough, as they walked through town that day, a few people found it adorable that the 'brother and sister' were wearing matching outfits. Equally, if not more, strangely, a few found it the cutest couple gimmick they'd ever seen, and the girl looked absolutely cute in her boyfriend's clothes.

And though Ash argued just as vehemently at the 'boyfriend' comment, he couldn't bring himself to think any different than anyone else…

What could he say? She looked great in his clothes.

And even better drinking straight from the charity pop-top bottle of Hershey syrup.

6. Theme: Balcony --Pairing: DAML--Title: Daring

Drew was, just a little bit, a daredevil. He was well aware that years of growing up in a safe, overprotective environment had backfired in a harsh way. Everything from his confrontational personality to the fact that he was currently walking along the fifteenth story balcony rail, stone and thinner than a balance beam, and he even had the nerve to hop on one foot and tempt fate, gravity, and lady luck all at once.

"Drew," May whispered, terrified anything louder would scare him.

"Yeah?" He called back. His voice was much louder than hers, and she jumped in surprise. "I'm sorry, I hope I didn't scare you. Want to find out if I can do a handstand? I know I can't do a cartwheel, since the balcony is rounded, the rail is pretty round too, but I'm sure if I really try I could do a handstand. I've got a good grip." He laughed a bit at that and turned to face her, his back facing the open night air and deep, dark woods.

"Drew!" She squealed. "Get…get down from there! You're completely insane, do you understand me? You're completely wild! You get off that thing right now or I…I'll…Drew, you're scaring me! It's like you're about to commit suicide. Please get down Drew, please get down before I have a heart attack! I swear, oh Arceus, I'm completely on the verge of crying. Don't make me cry. Oh, my heart is beating so loud!"

"Really?" He laughed. "So what will you do if I try this?" He jumped down, then got back up in a handstand, perfectly balanced on the narrow edge. "How long do you think I can stay like this? If I fall, do you think I'll fall to the inside, or out? Maybe this is all a part of a plan to kill myself, and you caught me in the middle of it. Wouldn't that be sad, if you watched me leap off a balcony? On the bright side, it's too dark for you to see my body hit. You might hear the crack of bone though."

"Don't joke about things like that!" She shouted, her face the picture of horror. "Get down! Get down this instant! And be careful when you do!" She raced to his side, careful not to touch him in case that upset his balance in the wrong direction.

"Don't be such a worrier. Watch." And he tipped over the balcony, letting go and careening into the night while May screamed.

It didn't take long for Flygon to catch him and swoop him back up to the same balcony he leapt from, landing lightly and nuzzling her owner merrily. Drew stroked the face as well, smiling at May all the while. "You scream awfully loud, considering that could've been an easy victory at tomorrow's contest, without me around. Besides, you don't really think I would kill myself when I get to beat you tomorrow."

"How could you do that? You nearly gave me a heart attack!" She shrieked.

"Flygon was there," Drew laughed. "Well, I thought she was there. She might've been out hunting. Luckily, she came back on time and managed to catch me. But, you've got to risk it all to win it all. Don't you think? In life, in money," He paused and gave an almost tender grin, so unlike the sneers and smirks she was used to. "And it's definitely the same in love. Risk and win. But, maybe I'm not all that risky, just daring."

"And dashing," May felt her lips whisper, the two words always coupled together in her romance movies.

"Thanks," He chuckled. "Goodnight, May."

May was speechless as Drew stalked off, smirking as he went back into the room. He thought he made a very exciting Juliet.

7. Theme: Child--Pairing: AAML--Title: Immature (A/N: Not that you care, but I've been advised to never drink AMP or soda. I'm bouncy enough without it.)

"Dora the Explorer own my soul," Misty explained to Ash. The two of them sat the wrong way on the sofa, their legs up on the back and their heads draping towards the floor. "She has a freaking talking monkey…and its name is Boots…and it wears boots…red boots…and he has a song about them!" She sighed. "I wish I had a talking monkey in boots. I wouldn't name it Boots though, that just seems redundant."

"Dora deserves Boots, know why? She doesn't hit her friends with mallets or make them dress up like girls. Dora's nice to Boots. See, nice girls get singing monkeys in boots. Mean girls get the devil's red hair."

"So's your face."

"First of all, that made no sense. Secondly, that's stupid."

"So's your face."

"You win this round, redheaded ninja," Ash conceded, drinking AMP through a straw on the floor. After downing most of it, he suggested, "Let's watch Naruto and redub the voice. You can be Sakura and the girls and I'll be everyone else but Saskue."

"Why not Saskue?"

"Because I hate that emo bastard. Don't tell me you're a fangirl of Saskue's, I'll die if you are! He's a no good, double crossing, good for nothing, uncaring, son of a sailor, wimpy be-atch who needs a tissue every five minutes and can't get over the fact that he saw his entire family slaughter. Dammit, he's a ninja. This kind of thing happens a lot more often than they make it out to be. It wasn't even all that violent. It was just a sword through their chest! Man!"

"So he's Naruto without a fun-loving dorky side," Misty shrugged.

"Yes, that's true, but it's the fun-loving dorky side that makes him so lovable. Besides, Saskue went with Orochimaru and that guy is obviously a child molester.

"And they're never going to notice we're here?" Ritchie asked, gawking at the two teens on the couch. "There's over thirty people and they'll never notice we're here and stop talking about weird stuff? What'd you do, drug them?"

Brock shook his head, the leader of the group. "Nope, they do this all by themselves. It's a new habit they've picked up whenever they're united. I think it's their way of catching up. But they won't notice unless we touch them or step in front of the TV. They'll be done in about an hour or so, whenever they're hungry. That, or the TV breaks. We'll know if that happens by the screaming that'll echo all around the world."

"One of them gets hungry and then they're back to their back to their normal, arguing selves? That's all it takes? They're practically hypnotized for crying out loud!" Duplica shouted. "Hello! Ash and Misty? Wanna talk? How about a pokemon battle? Free food! There's a bug on your shoulder, Misty! It looks like a stinger! It's about to eat you!" She began to wave her arms in a frantic, anime style, as if the motion would somehow alert the non-seeing Misty to the severity of the situation.

And, nonchalantly, Misty's hand came off the floor to flick away a nonexistent bug, then fell to the ground. "Swiper no swiping! Swiper no swiping! Swiper no swiping! Swiper NO swiping! Yeah…that's what I thought bitch! Crawl back to the hole you crawled out of!"

"So they hear us," Duplica blinked. "Maybe it's subconscious or something?"

"Wild thang! You make my heart sang! You make everythang…groovy." The two sang in full out country accents, air guitaring while a commercial played for toys exclusively at Burger King. "Wild thang…I think I love you. But I WANNA KNOW for sure!" And they air guitarred and 'na-naed' the instrumentals while leaping to their feet and bouncing of the sofa until Dora the Explorer resumed once more.

"I'd like to say they're doing that because they're lovesick, but that's the official You've-Been-Punked-By-Ash-And-Misty theme song," Brock sighed. "How long have you two known we were here, listening to your weird chatter?"

"Long enough to find out a whole lotta secrets people told when they thought we weren't listening," Misty beamed, the two of them spinning to face the thirty or so people in the room. "So, are you ready Ash?"

"Ready Misty!"

"Cotton candy, waterfall, girl you think you got it all! You don't, I do, so psh! With that attitude!" They laughed, giving a quick kiss at the end.

"Can't you two grow up? We came here for a baby shower!" Gary snapped. "I thought that meant you two were having kids, not becoming some! You two have always been a pair of losers and always will be! You two need to shape up because I don't think you can handle having kids! You're going to kill them! You two…you two…ugh! You two just stop acting so damned immature and grow up already!"

"I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toys R' Us kid, there's a million toys in Toys R' Us that I can play with!"

"Would you two shut up!"

8. Theme: Victory--Pairing: DAML--Title: Who Do? Budew! (A/N: I should write Pokemon Episode titles.)

Okay, so now he knew she was a nerd, but hadn't he always? May, doing her little victory dance, as nerdy as it was, was cute. Stumbling, tripping, klutzy, uncoordinated were a few good words he would've enjoyed throwing out at her strange dance.

"Oh, can you handle this? No. Nuh-uh. You can't! Yeah, you've just been owned by who? Yeah, that's right, mew! Oh, you thought that you would win, but you though wrong! You lost, be-atch! Uh-huh! You got served with country style gravy! I'm going to shake my groove thing! Woo! I totally won! This is so exhilarating!" She stopped for a moment to put a hand to her chest with a smile, then began to dance again.

Max tapped Drew on the shoulder, and the taller boy leaned down to hear what the nerd boy had to say. "My sister's starting to scare me. Do you know how we can shut her up? At least make her stop dancing so I don't have nightmares about that!"

"May, you're terrifying your brother," Drew said, arms crossed and face in a smirk. Unfortunately, May was lost in her 'zone' and was not ready to stop the dance soon, even if it risked having to pay for years of therapy for her younger brother. "Come on, May! I think you've celebrated your superiority over the wild enough. Let's stop the dance, because we all know that this is not one of your stronger points."

"Nope, can't hear you!" May shouted, though the area around them was virtually silent. "I've got to dance for a few hours more. You'll have to wait until I have completely finished my fantastic dance of joy and wonder."

Drew rolled his eyes. "It's not that big of an accomplishment, May. Thousands, millions of pokemon have been caught. It's no big deal, we can stop scaring your brother. There isn't really of victory here, so stop the freaky dance.

She stopped for a moment, realizing that, perhaps she truly didn't have a region for dancing and was instead made a fool in front of her crush and her brother. A more horrifying thing could not be thought of, so she thought long and hard about what she could possibly say to retort this very true and disappointing fact. "Well, yeah, but I caught an uber rare pokemon, so, ha! That is something to celebrate!"

"Never say uber," Drew growled. "Secondly, have you ever been to the Sinnoh region?"

"Lots of times."

"Know what a Budew is?"

"Ugh, those ugly useless things are everywhere."

"Okay, Budew is to Sinnoh as Ratata is to Kanto."

She looked at the pokeball for a moment. "Fudge," She said simply, releasing the useless, ugly thing. Then, her eyes caught a pair of lovedisc flying overhead, coming down to flock around May and Drew before fluttering off.

"Now those-"

"More Budew?"

"No," Drew gaped. "Those are something you could've celebrated over. Weird that they flocked around us."


May suddenly gasped with newfound delight and pointed somewhere off into the distance. "Look, Budew!"

He sighed and rubbed his temples, "Ratata."

"Same thing!"

9. Theme: Mad--Pairing: AAML--Title: The Torture of Jim Skylar

The first thing Misty Waterflower felt she needed to let Ash know was, "I'm naked underneath my clothes." And that was the first thing the camera recorded, along with his crumpled up face as he tried to comprehend exactly what the statement meant.

"You're not wearing any underwear?" He asked.

Misty shook her head with a smile. "Underwear is clothing. So, try again. I'm naked underneath my clothes. What do you say to that?" She shifted in her comfy chair, drowning in the endless squishiness of the cushions and waves upon waves of pillows. "I think I'm going to die in this chair. What an embarrassing what to go. Can someone help me out? I think I'm stuck. Yup…mu butt is definitely stuck in this chair."

"I'm naked under my clothes too!" Ash exclaimed, suddenly thrilled at his discovery.

"Hey, Ash, Misty, the camera's rolling," Brock informed off screen, munching cheerfully on the snack in his hand. "Do you really want the world to know what freaks you are? I can barely tolerate the people you've become, imagine what your loyal fans will think once they find out that both of the some of the most respected trainers in the world are spazzes and freaks? Shape up and behave yourselves! Your families are watching!"

"Why don't we get animal crackers?" Misty scowled, pulling herself from the chair and glaring at the handsome host. "Am I going to get animal crackers? I'm the one who agreed to do this interview, I should totally get animal crackers! I almost drowned in a chair for goodness sakes! You're lucky I don't sure you for all the pain and suffering I was put threw for almost dying in a freaking chair!"

"Welcome to Trainer's Square, I'm your host, Jim Skylar!" The dashing man, blue eyed and black haired, flashed a smile at the camera; a fake, disturbing smile, but it was still there. "This week, we have two very special trainers joining us. Ash, the youngest master in over a decade and Misty, the gym leader from Cerulean have been friend for over six years! Since so many people have asked us to do an interview with them, we finally agreed to bring them on the show!"

"I'm on the show because I was promised free animal crackers! Brock's eating all my animal crackers! Plus, I wasn't exactly friends with Ash until I wash eleven. I don't think I'll be friends with you ever. You don't seem friendly. Do you like to hurt people? You have the creepy smile of someone who'll kill me in my sleep. Am I going to wake up to you and your creepy smile and a steak knife hovering over me? Disturbing!"

The man blinked. "Er, pardon?"

"Well, it's just a thought we've been mulling over. You seem like an angry person to me, is all. You shouldn't keep all those bad feelings behind a fake smile. One day they'll explode and you'll go on a rampage, leaving a mess everywhere. It's like a pudding cup in a microwave. I wouldn't risk it if I were you. You should find some better way to ease stress. Misty and I could spot your off center aura from a mile away," Ash informed, his smile never wavering.

"You could punch Ash. He's a great punching bag! Best stress reliever in the world!"

"I don't know whether that's a compliment or an insult," Ash said. "Hey! I was promise animal crackers too! What kind of scam are you running here? Inviting people with promise of animal crackers than not offering us any! You should be ashamed of it, lying bastard. I hope you're killed by rabid pokemon. Shame, shame on you, foul sinner!" He scowled, then smiled at the camera. "Hi Mom! Sorry for the cussing!"

"Alright, here's a question. Have either of you dated anyone inside your group? Any break up stories or juicy secrets to tell our viewers? We're ready to hear them!" He leaned forward and grinned as if to entice them to answer the question.

"I don't want to discuss my personal life on the air. How would they feel if I asked them that? Awkward, that's how. You can ask us plenty about our careers. We'll answer those questions no problem. Just don't ask us the personal stuff. It's called a juicy secret for a reason. We're not sharing our secrets to the general public. You'll have to give us a lot more animal crackers for that, buddy, and they ought to be chocolate covered!"

"Okay," Jim blinked. "I suppose that's…reasonable. Are you sure there's nothing you want to share with us? Something that'll really get the viewers interested? Some secret for the century?" They stared at him. "Right, next question. Ash, Misty, JohnzGurl314159 thinks you make the cutest couple. She was wondering if you'd do something couple-ish on the show. Something cute. Maybe sitting on each other's laps?" Jim winked at Misty.

"Well, alright. I suppose if pi girl wants me too…" She patted her thighs. "Come sit down, Ash. Make yourself comfortable."

He leaped to her chair and plopped on her lap, beaming. "Hello, Santa! I want my very own Mew for Christmas? Can I have one? Can I? Please oh please oh please can I have one! I've been a really good boy. I swear."

Misty's eyes narrowed. "Is that a fat joke? If that's a fat joke, you better say your prayers because you know how I feel about fat jokes. I will hurt you so bad…"

"It's not a fat joke! It's, uh, a joke about my maturity. See? No offense to you! Not today!" He sighed. "I'm disappointed now. I haven't made a fat joke about you in forever. I'll try and work one in today, so you know that I've never forgotten about you. You've always been on my mind, you and the almost frightening way you eat any dessert you see."

"Thank, Ash. There's nothing I love more than people making fat jokes about me. I adore it. It does untold wonders for my self esteem. I'm ready for the next question, anything from a normal person asking normal questions about our careers? I don't want to have to make out with this guy due to viewer request. It's hard enough with his fat butt squishing me." She glared at both of them, first at Jim, then Ash. "You need to lose some weight."

"Ash Ketchum," Jim began after scrolling through several question cards to find a somewhat 'normal' question. "Do you have any advice for kids who want to be a pokemon master like you? How do you get to this point, and who do you think helped you get here?"

"All my friends, good friends, good pokemon, and never give up. If you have that, there's no stopping you. You just have to try! Anyone can be a master, you just have to have the heart to fight when things look hopeless and win!" He pumped his fists in the air, and did a little dance on Misty lap.

"He's right!" Misty chirped supportively. "I mean, look at Ash! He's not smart or strong or anything like that! His pokemon did all the work and he was just too stubborn to back down forma challenge. If Ash here can do it, anyone can!"

"You're a horrible person, and you hurt me inside," Ash informed her seriously. This statement would only be countered with a glare, after all, the boy was situated on her lap and she had not yet shoved him to the floor. How cruel could she be? "I love you. Please don't hurt me."

"Get off!" She growled, pushing him onto the floor with a grunt. "Next question. And about Ash? He doesn't actually love me. That's his way of attempting to get out of trouble. It never really works, but he's hoping that one day I'll consider him cute enough to let him off the hook. I don't think I ever will."

"Are we done? I want animal crackers!"

"The interview's barely begun!" Jim snapped, throwing his arms in the air. "You can't just walk away! You weird kids! I've done hundreds of these with drug addicts, rock stars, and sex maniacs but I've never run into a pair of kids more insulting and annoying as you! You're…you're famous, dammit! You should be used to this kind of thing! You should be able to joke about romance and talk about personal stuff and make out in public!"

Misty stared coolly, "Pudding cup."

"Okay, tell me one thing, just one!" He begged, laughing slightly hysterically. "The most wanted question, the one from every single viewer! Did you follow Ash because you had a crush on him? I want to know! Give me that, at least, so my viewers get something out of this interview!"

"Actually, he wrecked and now owes me a bike. Oh, by the way, you said 'had'. You know, 'had' a crush on him? Yeah, wrong verb tense. I'm a stickler for grammar!"

"Hey, Mist, animal crackers!"

"Gotta go! Glad to be here! VH1 and MTV are Devil Channels!" And ran off to find Ash, leaving the music channel host to faint with horror.

Yeah. She went there.

Mildly inappropriate, references to the 'dirty deed' 10. Theme: Kiss (or Snake)--Pairing: DAML--Title: Shakespearean

Warm, lovely lips,
Delicate on mine,
As we pull away,
I listen to thine

Words,
as romantic as poetry,
Tracing loving fingers
Over symmetry.

No mask to hide,
What features grace.
Gorgeous green,
Hair like lace.

Sweet love's song,
Lilting in the moonlight,
Lover's truer than Juliet,
And Romeo that fatal night.

And ours is not,
Fatal or romantic,
Just normal lovers,
So frantic.

To feel lips against lips,
Hands against skin,
Hot in the cold air,
Lost in the sin.

Virgin thoughts,
Tossed along river's side,
Call me your love,
Change the tide

Our lives have taken,
Remorse, I want none.
Lost in passion,
Till the risen sun,

Let it grace your features,
Like my fingers did.
In the moonlight,
Where no flesh is hid.

Forever too young to be lovers,
But the sin I need,
Be my devil,
My garden weed,

My wicked snake,
And through your power,
Last night you gardener,
Took my flower.

Sweet, the love we share,
But bitter is the shame,
Just like Capulet and Montague
I cannot keep my name.

Family shall not ever know,
What sin committed in the dirt,
But he has taken away my sadness
Ache and pain and hurt

No more, shall I,
Those words immortal in my head.
The words he spoke to me,
The man I hope to wed.

"My love, My flower,
I only love you my dear,
And I give to you,
The words of Shakespeare.

"I'll follow you
And make a heaven out of hell
And I'll die by your hand,
Which I love so well."

We kissed again,
Desperate for more,
And cursing the sun,
The sun that tore

The love apart,
For no one can ever see,
The love we hold so near,
And the Shakespeare lives we lead.

11. Theme: New--Pairing: AAML--Title: New Years

"Yes, they sure are all grown up," Mrs. Ketchum teased the sleeping forms. Just like a couple of toddlers, Ash and Misty had fallen asleep with their heads lolled to their shoulders, sitting straight up, legs folded Indian style. "Let's wake them up so they're not asleep all through New Years. What do you say, Brock?" The charming woman smiled at the teen next to her, who looked rather put out at the idea.

"I say I told them that they shouldn't have eaten all the sugar so early because they had to crash some time. I've got half a mind to leave them there. I don't care if they shout all morning. It'll definitely be worth it."

"Oh, so heartless," Mrs. Ketchum chuckled. She kneeled by her son and shook him lightly. "Ash, Ash honey. Wake up for New Years. Don't you want to play with the noise maker? It's the one time of year where you can be as loud as you want."

"Are there brownies, Brock?" Misty asked drowsily. "I would love some brownies. Mom used t'make brownies every year and my sisters would pretend they ate them all but they always saved me some." She rubbed her eyes and managed to stumble to the couch. She sat down and starred at the TV, waiting for something exciting to happen.

As Ash stumbled after her, Mrs. Ketchum explained, "The first thing you do is your way of kicking off the New Year. Don't breathe, don't speak, but what's the first thing you want to remember as what you did for the New Year?"

Ash attempted to shove Misty out of her seat and sit himself. "Mooooo-ooooove!" To which she smartly responded, "Staaaaah-hooooohp! My spot get your own you…you…get your own…stupid." She punctuated the 'stupid' with a kick to his chest which certainly sounded like the wind was knocked out of him.

"Can't you two behave? Misty, it's not your chair, you two can share. You're small enough still. So, share!" Brock ordered. Grunting and glaring, room was made for the two of them to share. "There we go, now, look, was that really so hard?"

"Yes!" They snapped.

"Here comes the New Year! Eight…seven…six…!" Everyone counted down.

Then, New Year's hit, kisses were given, people did backflips, dances, shouts and giggled, and instantly it was a new beginning, a clean slate. And how did Ash and Misty start the New Year. Curled up and knocked out, close together in the Ketchum's living room and smiling in their sleep.

12. Theme: Last--Pairing: DAML--Title: Petals

"He loves me," She sighed, ripping off the rose petals. She wasn't exactly sure why she was doing this, why she allowed herself to rip petal after petal off her perfect flower and let them flutter to the ground. She supposed it was because she knew that it would wilt in a few days anyway, no matter what lengths she went to so she could protect it. It could only live so long on the road, or even in a vase. "He loves me not."

"Hey, May, what are ya-girl moment. Bye!" Ash laughed nervously, walking near her and away even faster.

"Ash, wait! Talk to me!" May whined. She jumped to her feet and ran to him, grabbing his hand and pulling him back to her log. "Please talk to me, Ash. Please! I've got problems and you're nice! I'm sure you could help me through! You know how to make people better, don't you? You're kind and compassionate, and…why are you looking at me like I'm going to kill you?" She stared up at his horrified face.

"I don't really know how to make people feel better. Er, I'm usually the one who's crying. So…uh…I guess I'll try to do what other people do and, er, tell me, what your problem is." He sat down heavily on the log, Pikachu sitting on his shoulder with her lips upturned in an odd little smile. She couldn't wait to see her owners lovely, lovely attempt to help May. It would, inevitably, fail, but she thought it would be amusing.

"I think I like Drew."

"Oh, please let me leave!" Ash whimpered.

"No, Ash!" She said, far from a commanding voice but almost a forceful whimper, "You're going to sit here and you're going to listen to me and you're going to love every single word I say, do you know why? Because we're friends, Ash, and as friends we should be able to sit down and talk about anything in the whole wide world! So, Ash, sit down and listen to me talk about how much I love Drew." She grinned. "Please?"

"Well…try not to get to girly about it, will you?" He asked hopefully. "Remember, I'm still a man, even if you did make me dress up as a girl. I don't want to hear how handsome Drew is or anything about how manly he is…'cuz I like girls! I don't want to hear about guys 'cuz I like girls. I'll talk about girls though…because I totally like girls!" Obviously, this was a topic that had been touched many a time before, and it made Ash weary to talk about it.

"I just want to know, since you're a guy and all, uh, do you think that maybe…Drew likes me?" She asked hopefully. Her face was stained in a blush. "You won't make fun of me! You're nice! You never make fun of people for having crushes, right?

"Uh…no?" He lied, laughing nervously again and throwing her a smile that was more baring her teeth than anything.

"Ash!" She moaned, throwing her head back with a whine. "Why are you so intolerable? Please don't make any jokes about me while you're listening. I know it's an awfully girly topic, and you don't really like talking about stuff like that, but I need you to, just this once. You don't 

even really have to listen! You can just sit there and nod your head and pretend you care even though you're actually thinking about battle strategies."

Ash nodded his head.

"Okay, great. Now, here's my problem. I really like Drew, I mean, I really like the guy. I have a huge crush on him. Why? I don't know. I just…I really like him. Everything about him is just so wonderful. His hair and his eyes, wow. They're beautiful…" And she went off to lament while Ahs stared into space and tried desperately to remember. Which had the type trump: Dark or Psychic? Dark or Psychic? Dark or Ghost? "And…you know what, I think I'll have better luck with the rose."

And she began to snatch at the petals, one by one until every petal cascaded to the ground but one. That last petal. But, before she could pull it, Ash shouted something about 'darn you, type trumps' and gave her a twenty minutes of deep discussion on why type trumps were so difficult, and he wasn't stupid, some things were just hard to get, and by the time she finally looked back at the rose, she had forgotten exactly what she was on.

So, she stared at the last petal, and cast the rose over her shoulder.

Damned rose.

13. Theme: Fall--Pairing: AAML--Title: F-F-F-Falling (A/N: Anyone get this reference?)

In all her years with Ash, Misty had never, ever, truly felt scared. There was never any reason too. The threat was never completely on her; perhaps on Brock, on Pikachu, on anyone else but her. Even no, she knew that no villain was after her, no person ready to shoot her in the head and laugh wildly as she plunged into the sea and her friends screamed in horror, shock, and torture at their friend dying in a sad, but heroic way.

No, of course not. Misty, on the brink of tears, had gone after psyduck and wound up on a ledge of rock. For twenty minutes, she'd been there, trying to figure out a way to get back up without sliding from the rock's crooked angle. The sea, wild and angry, churned over the rocks below, tossing up a wild white spray she was too far up to feel. She wasn't even sure if anyone knew she was out, not likely, not a lot of people knew her here, even after the 'three orb' incident, and even fewer cared. People must've thought she was crazy to go out in a storm like this.

But how could she have helped it? Psyduck had run off on her! She couldn't just let the poor creature die! She had to save it. He was hers, and whether she would admit it or not she did have a soft spot for the duck that, yes, did not have the ability, but always had the desire to help. He was the only creature she had ever met that reminded her of Ash, another person she had a soft spot for whether or not she wanted to admit it.

Now…Now she was stuck in the edge off a cliff, about to tumble to her doom. Even with her backpack chucked over the top of the cliff, her weight still seemed to make the small ledge under her groan and release a bitter earth scent in the air. She wiped her eyes, tears beginning to spill. Arceus, this was a terrible way to go. Why wasn't there ever a heroic way for her to die? Mew, she'd be so content to go in any of the ways Ash had almost gone!

She gave a tearful screech as the jutted out stone wretched down again, leaving her at an angle almost impossible to cling to. It was at this point she screamed, a loud, tearful scream. "Somebody help me!" One hand wiped her face again and tried to hide the tears, but as she began to slip she had to clutch the rock again, with both hands. She screamed again, louder than before. "Somebody! Anybody! Help!" She began to cry, clenching onto the rock harder. 

No possible hope if she fell, she'd probably be dead from a heart attack before her body was bludgeoned by the stones below.

She sounded horrible when she cried, one of the reasons she never did. Whereas most had quiet, shaking sobs, hers were always as loud as she was when angry, more screams and tears than crying. She let out another screaming sob as the rock shifted again, toppling down to an almost vertical angle. She screamed then, a high, girlish scream that must've carried all the way across the water to the small village.

And then she cried. For ten minutes, she cried, clutching onto her rock for dear life. The rain began to fall two minutes in to her waiting, each drop like an icy pinprick on her skin. It was harder to hold onto the rock and her skin slid against the slicker surface. Each new shift made muscles ache. Each new sobs, sobs she couldn't stop, were starting to make her lungs ache, and certainly wasn't helping her keep on her strength to cling on.

Then something wrapped around her waist, yanking her up sharply and slamming her into the softer dirt above. Her tears muffled almost instantly, knowing she was on good, safe, ground. Her bag was thrust into her arms, the two boys, her boys, brought their arms around her and hugged her tight. The heavy scent of sweat from Ash and the light cologne from Tracey she'd grown used to filled her nose and soothed her further, her tears becoming nothing but gasps and water sliding down her cheeks.

"Misty, oh, Mew. Misty, are you alright?" Ash's voice, shaking and worried in her ear, was definitely on her left. His arms were tighter than Tracey's, she noticed, and he was trembling. She wondered, was it from fear or the cold that made him shake? "What were you doing out here? Misty, oh, damn it! What were you doing? You're always yelling at me to stay out of danger and look what you went and did! Damn it!"

"You don't swear," She whispered, looking up into his face, then looking into Tracey's. She smiled, looking back and forth as quickly as she could to reassure them. Unashamed around her boys, she laughed, "I'm alright. No damage. My butt's probably bruised, but others than that I should be fine. You don't need to worry so much. You pulled me out on time and that's all that mattered. Somehow, I think I knew it was too easy to end it like that."

"I'll go call somebody. We'll get the boat a little later. I'm sure they won't mind once we tell them what happened." Tracey suggested, turning his back on the two and trotting a few feet away to pull out his pokenav.

Meanwhile, Ash had been spluttering until words finally righted themselves in his head. "It is something to worry about!" He shouted. "You almost died and…you could've died! It's just…it's not the same when I'm going off to save someone as when you…when you just fling yourself off a cliff for no good reason."

"I was after psyduck," She murmured, somehow feeling guilty. "The cliff…it crumbled under my weight and there wasn't anything I could do about it. Honestly, Ash, I don't know why you panic. I'm sure something unexplainably good would've happened, and you're a hero! You'll always be there to save anyone when they fall. Whether I'm falling off a cliff or getting terrorized by Team Rocket, Super Ash will be there to save the day." She giggled and shook her head. "I'm fine, Ash. I'm as right as the rain."

"Yeah but I…" He gawked at her. "I could've lost you, I could've…" He paused, eyes flashing to Tracey's back then to the girl he was still hugging closely. Then he pulled her forward and pressed her cold, tears stained lips to his. He held them there, just for a moment, his lips trembling harshly under hers until he pulled back and wiped his eyes. "I'm sorry…It's just…with you and…I didn't know what to do. I'm just so confused. Everything feels weird and bad and I needed something nice to happen. There's always some kind of good thing at the end and I…I'm sorry. guess I wasn't thinking again."

"I know what you mean and, if it makes you feel any better…" She held his eyes for a moment, trying not to blush and knowing she was failing. "I…I needed that something nice too. Thanks for catching me."

"Okay you two, if everything's alright, can we head back to the boat?"

14. Theme: Wall--Pairing: DAML--Title: False Paradise

He was a wall. The constantly growing barrier he was so keen on building…To every advance she made, he added another layer of brick. But, if nothing else could be said about his strange manner, he was made a very nice wall, and was perhaps the only person who could ever pull it off so well. That barricade of smirks, roses, and taunting, that wall that guarded something she could only catch a glimpse of when the night fell, guards slept and she had to be quiet and still for earning the privilege of staring at the shiny city within.

She was a mountain climber now. Though she once crowded timidly at the city gates with all the others, gawking at the bustling city within, the exciting city that he himself had put up. It was a distraction, she knew. He hoped people would see the exciting and stray away from the dull brick that hid the real secrets.

But she knew better.

Inside the brick wall was a place greener than anywhere else in the world. It was not Emerald City green, but grass and trees and flowers and everything that was good and pure in the world. And he was there, of course, it was his city. He was always smiling there because he was, at heart, a very happy boy; one who had learned the hard way that nice boys got nowhere in life, got nothing, and failed.

But, she could wait, wait for the day he invited her in and she could play with him in the beautiful meadow he'd been born to be. Why? Because good things couldn't be forced into, stolen, or even eavesdropped on for too long before it would be ruined or hidden forever. Only people who had proved they wanted to preserve it, to keep it safe would be allowed to enter while the nest of buzzing bees swarmed outside, forever dying to get in to the false paradise.

After all, the wall was there for a reason.

15. Theme: Mask--Pairing: AAML--Title: Masks

She ran her fingers over the mask she'd be wearing for the rest of the night. Black mask, black dress, black shoes and stockings, it was almost as if she was in some kind of mourning stage before the funeral that would never come. Over what, she couldn't be sure, but it was unmistakable as she pulled the elastic behind her head and the plastic over her eyes, those two blue-green circles that screamed in the mirror. They begged for something to return from the dead, something she wasn't sure of. The black form the center seemed bigger than normal, engulfing too much color, but even that seemed to match the gothic theme she'd been going on about. Hair, red and wonderfully unchanged through the long years, did seem to lose its luster and hang lifelessly about her face.

"Misty?" Brock asked quietly. The older boy stood tall and handsome in his tux, any trace of child-like roundness had faded over time, giving him a sharp, chiseled face. Every feature was rock hard and seemed to be set in a stern line, but somehow the loving nature could fight through and soften the rigid lines, just like now. A heavy hand lingered on her shoulder. "Don't you think we should head down to the party? I know how much you hate them, but you 

know it's require we show up, since we're gym leaders and all. I'll…I'll try and get you to have a good time."

She was silent, hands dangling uselessly at her sides, body rigid, staring at the mirror. "What am I mourning, Brock? Had someone died, and I can't remember because of the shock? Am I blocking some horror of horrors out? That's the only reason for so much black, isn't it? That's the reason for the...missing emotions."

"No one I know," He shook his head, letting the hand fall. "You've been like this for I don't know how long. I don't know why you're…why you are the way you are, but I can say that you've starting talking in your sleep." He hesitated, fear of her reaction obvious. "When you're tossing and turning…you talk about him."

She blinked her sleepy eyes. "My father," She concluded from her reeling thoughts.

He corrected quietly, "Ash."

The name hit her stomach, forcing a grunt form the back of her throat. Her body began to ache at the thought. Ash…She swayed for a moment, dizzy, trying to raise heavy hands to grasp the vanity, but not able to twitch a muscle. Eventually, the swaying stopped and all that was left to show her mild panic attack was shallow breaths and too wide eyes, which blinked too quickly.

"Ash," She repeated. It had been forever since she head that name, but, come to think of it, she had been having dreams about the light brown eyes and ink colored locks. "He…he's not dead, is he? Ash can't be dead. I wouldn't have forgotten about that. That would be on the news. He would have his own day to celebrate, a holiday. It would probably be on his birthday." Her eyes widened at her, the whites that would have surely been seen hidden behind her mask. Today's not-?"

"No, Misty. He's not dead. He's perfectly fine. He's better than fine. He's always on the news, youngest master in three centuries. I think that's why you stopped watching TV. I…I wish I could sympathize but I don't know if I ever can. You…" He sighed and wished her could play with his hair, his hand going halfway before falling, knowing it was slicked back with gel. "You really love the guy. I think that's why it hit you so hard."

"I don't like him," She growled, her gram still but for her moving lips and angry eyes. "I never liked him. We were friends, Brock, always friends and always best friends. We weren't ever anything more and you know it! Don't you think it's time you let it go? I haven't seen him in five years! I'm nineteen and I have grown out of this stupid way of letting everyone assume everything about my love life!" Her tone quieted. "We were friends."

"But you didn't want to be, did you?" Brock confronted. He went to the door and locked it. "No, of course not. You wanted to be more, didn't you? You wanted more than friendship from him! But, you were too scared to tell him because he never looked like he felt the same way! Coward!"

She stared at him, using her mirror, eyes wide again but face still flat. "Brock…open the door. We…we can go down to the party and I'll try to have a good time. Let's not do anything we'll regret. You…you're awfully stressed and you know you would never normally use your fists. You'll wake up tomorrow with guilt if you do."

Brock's hands were indeed clenched tightly at his side, and he laughed. "Fists? I wouldn't hit you. That wouldn't get through to you! But words, those are more terrifying than anything tangible. But, that's perfect, isn't it? An intangible hammer to crush you intangible mask. It's 

just the thing. I can't wait to smash that mask you've been wearing long before this party! Hiding everything you ever felt for him and everyone else."

"Stop it, Brock!" She barked.

"No! You can't order me around anymore than I can order you! You're right, we're not kids anymore but you still haven't grown up! You're too scared to let yourself open up, and you're hiding behind that blank mask to keep from being hurt! No armor can withstand everything, and you know what will break yours? You love him and he loves you!" She flinched twice, the mention of love making her shudder. "You know you do, at least. Tell me what you love about him. Come on, I'm comfortable enough in my own sexuality to hear it! I have plenty of little sisters of my own, you know."

"I don't. Know what. You're talking about," Her words were punctuated with teeth clenching tighter and tighter.

"Oh, look, the first mask is already starting to shatter. That last one you put on, the indifference. I see a little of that hot tempered red head coming through. So, where's the rest of it? Where's the crazy little girl who would go to practically any lengths to get her crush to dance with her? Lemme see the redhead who only cried when she was worried about Ash! It's just so cute, to see little kids love like that!"

"Shut. Up," She snarled. Blood poured into her face with anger and embarrassment, staining it a dark red. "I am not that little girl anymore, and I didn't have a crush on him then and I don't have a crush on him know!"

"Really? That's not what your cheeks are saying. I'll tell you, I have never seen a person who blushes as badly as you. You know what'll make you blush more? All those times you saw Ash in nothing but his boxers. You covered your eyes, but I'll bet you anything that you wanted to look."

Rational Misty would have retorted that it was childish curiosity, but that mask had dropped off and left only an angry, embarrassed girl who had no rationality left to give. "Stop it, Brock! I wasn't looking! I don't care what he looks like! You're being stupid! Just, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it!" She was screaming, angry, embarrassed tears filling her eyes.

He continued, grinning as if happy to be embarrassing her so badly. His voice came out, a slight barking laugh tone in his voice. "So now that you're all grown up, do you have grown up dreams about him? So that's why you talk about him in your sleep! Aw, isn't it cute, that you still love him after all this time? I bet you lust after him too. I'd love to see what goes on in your imagination."

"Stop it!"

"Why? Because you can't hear the truth? That's too bad. I'm going to keep telling it. No more lies, Misty. No more masks. Nine years is too long to keep a secret!" He grabbed her shoulders, not hard enough to hurt, but strong enough to keep her in place despite her squirms and shouts. "Stop it! Stop hiding from it! Stop fighting me and tell me the truth! After all this time, you owe someone some honestly! It might as well be the only person who's going to sit through one of your childish tantrums! You cannot scream and kick and cry until you get your way! Grow. Up." Her writhing grew weaker, the outraged screams diminishing to whimpers, and he continued his voice low and brotherly. "Your sister may put up with your shit, but I won't anymore, and never again. I want the truth, the one you've hid from everybody and yourself."

She stared for a moment. Then her hands came up slowly and took off the mask, wiping her streaming eyes. "I…I miss him!" She gasped. She threw herself into his arms and began to sob. "And I want him. I want him to love me, and hold me, and kiss me. It…it hurts because I know he doesn't love me, and even if he did Id be so scared that…that he'd realize what a stupid choice by choosing me that he'd break up with me or be unhappy just to make me happy. I'm not good enough for him. I'm not strong or smart or brave or pretty or any of the things he needs in a girlfriend. He needs Tomb Raider's Laura Croft, and I don't even have boobs like she does!"

She cried into him for a while longer, letting go of baggage that she never thought she would release.

And Brock soothed her, leaving her side for only a moment to throw the mask into the crackling flame, because all demons, whether they were inner or tangible, deserved to be burned.

16. Theme: Soliloquy--Pairing: DAML--Title: Can You Handle This?

"Does the fair lady often talk to herself?" Drew inquired with a superior air.

Ash grinned. "More than I do. And, listen, I told May I'd talk to you but I'm not too good with words. Do what everyone else does: keep it short, simple, and straight to the point. If you don't, I'm just going to start thinking about battle strategies and pokemon and pretending it's just me, Misty, and Brock again. Man, how I miss those good times. I loved those pranks."

"Ash, does May talk to herself?"

"Yup," Ash grinned again, snapping out of his reverie. "You don't have to be so bossy. If you want to know anything you can probably sneak up behind her and listen. She talks about you a lot, if that's what you're after. I don't know why you're so eager on hiding it. I know she liked you and you like her. You should tell her. It's very crucial that you let things out. If not, they'll bubble and boil and expand and eventually explode. Like a pudding cup in the microwave, except you explode emotions instead of chocolaty goodness."

"Excuse me?"

"You know what else you can't put in a microwave? Tinfoil. You can't put that in a microwave or it starts a fire and Nurse Joy makes you leave the pokemon center. You can't put plain cheese in the microwave either. It just bubbles and gets hard and chewy and nasty tasting. The microwave is not a good machine. They should've worked all the bugs out of it before they started selling it, don't you think?"

"I have a serious problem here, a problem involving my love life, and you're ranting about microwaves? Are you completely retarded? People told me you saved the world! I thought you'd be smarter than this and…more focused, more intelligent."

"Yeah. I saved the world. Fun the first few times, but it's starting to get annoying. As for retarded, your girlfriend tried to breathe underwater! That's like something I would do." He shook his head with a giggle and corrected, "have done. You know, you'd figure that would be something easy to remember, but then you see some really cool stuff and you can't stop yourself form gasping. I swear, water is nothing but trouble. Half my 'deaths' have been from water. Have you died before? Going feels like nothing, coming back it weird. It's kinda tingly too. I sorta like the tingly feeling. I think it's worth dying to feel that tingly feeling all over again."

Drew's eyes rolled to the ceiling of the diner as the older boy prattled on and on about random things that Drew, honestly, didn't care about. There was a story or two that was pretty interesting, and he wanted to express his perked interest, but it only took a few minutes for him to realize that Ash wasn't doing this to entertain Drew, but to entertain himself, and it was really starting to get on his nerves.

Then, miracle of all miracles, he stopped. "Now, replace everything I just said with shopping, coordinating, fashion and one or two, OHMIGAWD, and that is an ordinary conversation with May. Are you ready to handle it?"

Drew shook his head. "No."

"And, that, my good man, is why it'll be a long while before you're ready to date May. The soliloquy." He then began to cram a burger and fries into his mouth faster than the diner owner could say 'cha-ching'.

"You will never be this helpful again, will you?" Drew gawked. "One inspirational speech per person, free of charge. Good friends have possibility of multiple speeches, best friends are guaranteed multiple speeches, and friends of friend will get one." The boy licked some ketchup from his thumb and took a long swing of his AMP energy drink. "I'm not allowed to drink AMP. She said it makes me act like an animal," He stated.

Drew ran his hand through perfect locks. "Who's she?"

"Oh, no, I'm sorry. I meant my mom," Ash laughed. "I was talking to myself."

17. Theme: Stupidity--Pairing: AAML--Title: Belts, Pudding, and Boredom

"Can I try on your belt?" Misty asked. Alone in Ash's house, watching rerun after rerun of Gilligan's Island (which, sadly, they could both recite the theme song of in not only English but Spanish as well), the two were bored. There weren't just bored, either. They were bored like, there's-nothing-on-TV-we-can't-caook-Ash-has-no-board-grames-my-game-station-broke-put-a-gun-to-my-hand-and-pull-the-trigger-hard-please kind of bored, which is very bored indeed. And, as everyone knows, boredom brings nothing but bad luck and bad ideas, such as trying on Ash Ketchum's pokebelt and putting a pudding cup in the microwave. "If I can't do that, can we put a pudding up in the microwave? Everyone always says we shouldn't, but I always get hit when I ask why. What do you think will happen?"

"Apocolypto?" Ash suggested with a shrug. "I've got loads of pudding cups. They're double chocolate, dark and milk. I think pudding would taste pretty good all warmed up. I think I have a pudding craving."

He grinned at her, she grinned at him; and then both were rummaging through the refrigerator with hands touching just a little too often to be coincidental. A pudding cup was forced from its brethren (a real tear jerker of a story, look for it under the title 'Separated and Tortured: A Tale of Hope') and tossed into the microwave. Buttons were pressed, beeps were heard and the pudding cup began to spring around on its torture tray of destruction. After a few lovely minutes of that, the merry pudding cup explode chocolate delight all over the microwave, steaming and wonderful smelling.

Ash and Misty gawked for a minute, then screamed with bliss. Their arms fling around each and the jumped up and down with unbridled wonder and joy. Now, as you observe, there was a absolutely fantastic cure for boredom. So, each time a cup exploded, the pudding was scooped into a bowl, the microwave clean and a new pudding cup was place inside until all had vanished.


"Totally worth the yelling we're gonna get," Misty assured, licking her fingers clean of pudding with a happy squeal.

"What's all that about?" Ash snorted.

"What's all what about?"

"This!" Ash laughed. He raised his hands in his most seductive manner, then began slowly sucking his fingers clean, with exaggerated pleasure and closed eyes. Misty could tolerate this until he began to give loud moans.

"Hey, I was not doing that. Besides, you did it all wrong! If I was attempting to seduce you, because we both know how often I attempt to seduce men, I would do something more like this." She dipped her finger into the hot pudding, and ever so slowly licked her fingers with half close eyes. Batting her eyes at him in a manner she had learned from her sisters, she slowly and deliberately backed every last bit of chocolate off her finger. In a sensual voice (proud of herself for not laughing at all) she whispered, "Does that make you hot? Does it turn you-" And her composure vanished, and she burst out laughing at the boy's face: slightly freaked out with a lustful gleam in his eyes that informed, yes, he was quite turned on at her seductive ways.

"Okay. Now, give me your belt."

"No!" He shouted too loudly and then, as if to make amends, he quieted. "It's my belt."

"Give it or I'll take it," She warned, a mischievous grin lighting in her eyes. The boy shook his head, and was pelted with globs of pudding hurled at him, splattering all over the floor. He continued the fight by beginning to hurl it back at her. This soon turned into a shrieking, giggling wrestling match that was much too slick due to all the chocolaty lubricant they were rolling in.

Soon, Misty had Ash pinned to the floor, straddling his waist and wrestling the belt off. "Misty," He said in between giggles. "It's my belt. You can't pin me to the floor and take it. It's wrong, sexually and morally. Imagine if someone comes in and sees us like this! We'll get in so much trouble."

"You're the only boy I know who still giggles at fifteen," She rolled her eyes. "It's not anything sexual, at least you don't seem to think so. Here I am, a girl your age, sitting on you and not a single response from any part of you. Makes a girl feel depressed. Unless that's what all the giggling is about?" Despite the even, careless tone, her face was painted a lovely pink as she continued to fiddle with the belt.

"I don't know why I'm giggling," Ash shrugged, the boyish sound still bubbling from his throat. "If I take the belt off myself, will you get off, please? I'll give it to you. Not to keep, Misty, but you can have it for a while."

She leaned back and allowed him to unclip the belt then hand it to her. She jumped off and clipped it around her own waist, then, as if to show off her trophy, she yanked the belt, hard, and it made a strange clicking noise. "What that?" She asked, not seeming to came that her sentence lacked a verb.

Ash blew from a pouting lower lip, causing his loosened bangs to flutter around his face. "That, Misty, was the safety lock equipped on every trainer's belt. This is activated by a sharp bank to the belt. The belt locks itself on you and locks all the pokeballs in place and you have to hit 

all these weird buttons to get it to unlock. You've seen me do this enough that you know how to get it off, right?"

She stared at him blankly. How could she say, 'I never cared enough to look, duh,' in a way that didn't sound so harsh? Oh! She knew! "I never cared enough to look." She restrained herself from shouting 'duh' after it, and decided that, yes, it did sound much sweeter without the duh. She was satisfied. "So, explain it to me. Is there some big red button on the back that I press? Do I hold it and pull it apart? That's how a lot of safety's work. It's not too elaborate, is it?"

"Er, actually…" Ash trailed off nervously. He scratched the back of his neck, blushing. "It's pretty complicated. There's nine buttons on the back and you have to press a few of them in a certain way."

"What way?" Misty said, still cheerful. What was the point of being angry? Soon, the belt would be off and she and Ash could watch something interesting on YouTube. She looked at the back of the belt buckle and giggled. "I see them. I wonder how I never noticed them before."

Ash shrugged and suggested, "You didn't care?"

The girl nodded enthusiastically. "That would do it. So, how do I get it off?"

"See, that's the problem. I can do it, I just can't explain it…at all. Come here, I'll try to get it off." He took a step forward, to which she politely took ten steps back. "Misty, you can't guess the combination! You have to use all nine! It'll take forever! Just…come here so I can pull it off of you."

"No! I can do it!" She whined, turning to the belt. She twisted away from her, displaying her back proudly to the obnoxious boy and marched to the living room, her hands still working at the buttons.

He sighed, and snuck up behind her, waiting until he was a couple inches behind to snap his arms around her tightly and pull her close. He chin rested on her shoulder, the two almost the same height )though Misty still rejoice at being taller). She squealed loudly and tried to fidget away but to no luck. He had the angle advantage and it was all in vain. "Would you stop? Man, I can't see the fudging belt if you move around so much! The less you move the sooner it'll be over."

"No! You let go of me you crazy rapist boy! I can do it myself, I'll figure it out and I have never been one to give up without a-hey!" She gave another girlish squeal as she was tackled onto the sofa, much in the position Ash was in a few minutes before.

"Why are you laughing?" He teased. "Does this turn you on?"

"It's awkward," She said, her hands trying to quiet the giggles. "I think we laugh when it gets too awkward or when we're nervous."

"That explains the corny jokes."

"What the fuh…!" Brock gasped, dropping the groceries to the floor. "When I said you two should get together, I didn't mean like this! What is wrong with you kids? You're starting younger and younger!"

"It's not what it looks like!" Ash shouted, while Misty could only giggle. He turned to glare at the girl beneath him. "You know, you're not really helping our situation by laughing. In fact, you're probably making it worse. Can you help me out here?"

"Don't worry, Brock," She giggled. "We wouldn't do this. What kind of kids do you take us for? Ash hasn't even bought me dinner in forever, how disappointing is that? He'd have to buy me a lot of stuff if he wanted me to put out with him. I mean, there's not even any good music and we ran out of condoms last week. I'm just happy because we do a lot of other things that are just about as good as what you're thinking of. I bet Ash could give you some pointers, he really knows what he's doing when we get down and dirty,"

'"Don't listen to her! She laughs when she's nervous or something! I was just trying to get the stupid belt off. Wait! That's not what I meant! Well, it is what I meant but it's not what it sounds like and…uh…" He sighed. "Fuck."

And Misty, still helpless with giggles, scolded, "Stupid boy."

18. Theme: Sing--Pairing: DAML--Title: Dulcinea (A/N: Fantastic show, by the way. Go see it or read the script or something…)

"Could you quit that yowling?" Drew moaned, covering his ears. "It pains me for the name of music to be defiled in such a way! I'm going to take your MP3 and throw it against a brick wall over and over and over again because it, not you, deserves to be punished for allowing such a horrible thing to happen. So, stop singing or I will confiscate that device that has been forced to pay that disgusting noise you call music."

"I'm a great singer!" May objected.

"I never for a moment suggested you weren't," Drew rolled his eyes. "I think you sing quite well, you have a beautiful voice for soft, slow songs. I think it's wonderful that you make a practice to sing and that you do a fantastic job of it. What I was referring to was your horrible taste in music. All I have ever found on your iPod is pop and rock and all that modern disgusting…" He shook his head. "You don't have a single song from before the turn of the century. Well, a few boybands, but that isn't really music. It's sickening. I suppose, if pressured, I'd admit there's nothing wrong with what you are listening to, but have you never listened to anything fine in your life?"

She cocked her head at him for a moment. "You mean, like…something from the nineties? I've got stuff from the nineties that aren't boybands! I've got plenty! Look, they even have an automatic 90s music playlists on here!" She pulled the iPod from her fanny pack and began to scroll furiously through her three hundred and forty five songs and seventy two videos and click into her 90s playlist.

"I was thinking a bit before that," He rolled his eyes. "How about some kind of play or opera? The Phantom of the Opera, Cats has some good music, though I doubt you'd ever be able to sit through the play, but, damn it, even The Man of La Mancha would be great! Have you ever even been to a play before?" His eyes narrowed as if this was the greatest sin ever known, and May squirmed.

"Er, well, I think they took us to a play when I was in grade school. I don't remember it much. Oh! I saw my cousin's high school play! They did Peter Pan! It was so sweet. I love it. I went right home after and saw the movie!" She squealed.

Drew was not as excited. "That does not count."

"So…when's The Man of La Mancha from?"

"1965," He said, his glare never wavering.

"You weren't even alive then!" Her wide eyed reaction was more than enough to make him want to strangle the girl. "Well, you weren't! I mean, you're not that old. You're the same age as I am, aren't you?"

"I'm two months older than you. Exactly two months," Drew growled. "And, no, May, I was not alive when the play came out. It made a second round in the two thousands, if that's any consolation. It can be modern, if you want it to be. I'm surprised a romantic like you hasn't been swooning over it."

"It's like Romeo and Juliet!" She clapped her hands merrily.

"No. It's not anything like that short and simple story of lust. Don't ever mention that disgusting play in my presence." He glared. "It's a wonderful story, and it has wonderful music. You should see the play sometime. Or, you could even read the book. I have, it's a great story."

She shrugged. "Nah. I'm not into reading, really. I don't really like showtunes either."

"It's not what you're used to. Today's plays have a modern spin on it. The older ones are slower…more romantic in a sense." Drew explained. "Today's music…there's scarcely a song I'd actually call romantic. They're all…silly words of nothing. They're break up songs and relationship and sex songs, but they aren't love songs."

"Yes they are," May snorted.

Suddenly, her hand was in Drew's, and he was smiling. "Sweet lady, fair virgin…" He cast his eyes to the floor of the all but deserted pokemon center, getting Nurse Joy's attention. This seemed vaguely familiar. "I dare not gaze full upon thy countenance, Lest I be blinded by beauty. But I implore thee, speak once thy name."

May stared at him for a minute. "But you know my name…It's…Drew?" The boy had dropped her hand, but continued to stare down at the floor. "Drew! You know my name! You can't have forgotten! Drew, I…" She sighed. "It's May."

"My lady jests!" He exclaimed, his eyes not leaving the floor.

"No…it really is May." She was getting awfully weirded out by the green haired boy by now. She hoped his strange behavior would pass, preferably soon. His 'my lady'-ing was getting to be very unsettling.

"The name of a kitchen-scullion…or perhaps my lady's serving-maid?"

"Are you calling me a maid?" May growled. "You better not be!"

Drew continued to grin, his head still bowed. "Did my lady think to put me to a test? Ah, sweet sovereign of my captive heart. I shall not fail thee, for I know…" And then, the green haired boy did the unthinkable. In the almost empty pokemon center (except for Nurse Joy, who was swooning with the romantic nature of the boy who quoted from classical plays), Drew began to sing to her.

"I have dreamed thee too long, Never seen thee or touched thee. But known thee with all of my heart. Half a prayer, half a song, Thou hast always been with me, Though we have been 

always apart. Dulcinea! Dulcinea! I see heaven when I see thee, Dulcinea! And thy name is like a prayer an angel whispers, Dulcinea…Dulcinea!" His voice, a little high for the song (causing him to leap up an octave that it should normally be sung) was sweet and slow, just as he described. And the verses rolled on, each one more romantic than the last. He ended the song with a long hold on Dulcinea, that faded out quietly.

She stared, waiting for breath that would not come. "That was…nice, I guess. I still say I've heard songs plenty more romantic. It's too old fashioned. Nobody actually says that kind of stuff or believes in it. Chivalry is stupid."

He grinned. "Oh, come on. I can think of two men you traveled with that are pretty chivalrous. And, I can promise you this, one of them definitely believes in that romantic nonsense." He raised her hand to his face, kneeled before her, and kissed it quietly. "Goodnight, Dulcinea."

19. Theme: Stop--Pairing: AAML--Title: Stop

Two hands gripped either shoulder, for once not painfully, and stopped Ash in the middle of his path. He looked around quickly, just to make sure there weren't any walls he was about to walk into. This had happened many a time, and he had been wrong in screaming at her for making him stop when, in fact, she had been right all along. However, he was not about to walk into anything this time, and determined that, yes, he could yell at her now. It almost came with a strange rush of pleasure.

"Stop," She whispered.

"What now?" He huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "You're not going to do something else all moody and girly. Misty I…I thought we made up! You're not gonna hit me, are you, Mist? Please don't tell me you're going to hit me! Wait…why are you rolling your eyes? I haven't done anything stupid yet!"

She snorted, "Yet. Even you know you'll do something sooner or later. Ash, listen closely, what do you hear?"

The boy cocked his head listening closely. "I don't hear anything."

"Wrong," She shook her head with a grin. "You hear pokemon, bugs, birds and the wind and you can feel it and you can feel the sun and just feel the peace of everything. Whenever things get wild and crazy and you just can't take it anymore, you need to stop and breathe and just think of something good. That's how you relax because…no matter what goes wrong in your life, remember, Ash." She smiled at him and hugged him, her face as red as his. "Ash…you saved the world. No matter what goes wrong, the world is still here because of you. You can always feel better about that much at least."

He felt her pull away, feeling a bit disappointed. "Misty…why are you telling me this? It seems a really strange time, I guess, maybe not, since you're leaving and all. I still don't really get why you're telling me this. I'm not all that angry right now. I feel bad about you leaving but, uh, we kinda just came to terms with that."

"It's…" She bit her lip. "I'm selfish. I just sort of hope that, well, when you stop and think back to all the good stuff, and you're all calm in the woods, you'll think of the time we spent together. I just…I want to be thought of. You're the best friend I've ever had, Ash. I guess it's hard not to be when we've spent the last few years with each other all day and night. But somehow, even though I'm sure you can't forget that much of a chunk of your life, I'm afraid you'll forget me."

"Misty," He giggled. "I have too many scars to forget you! And, besides, you know I'll miss 

you. I didn't forget Brock, did I?"

"Well, no," She sighed.

The boy grinned and brought his arms up to his shoulders to squeeze Misty's hands. "I'll stop if you will."

She nuzzled into his back, like when she was scared of something, and he dimly realized she was struggling not to cry. "Thanks, Ash." She pulled back and swiped at her eyes. "Don't be so sentimental. It's stupid. Just…hurry up! I have to leave, you know."

He rolled his eyes. Some things never changed.

20. Theme: Worry--Pairing: AAML--Title: Accidents Happen

"Uh-oh! Brock! Ash fainted…again. He should man up. If we're not careful he's going to more girly than I am. I'll tell you, Brock, it's a sad day for mankind when a boy faints over every little thing," Misty called from another room. It was a room that the two had be sent, the three had be sent to, in the adults' foolish hopes that the reckless children would be quiet for the night. What possessed them to think a quiet place for them would be the kitchen instead of in front of a TV was beyond anyone's sense. "So…should I just throw water on him? That usually seems to work."

Mrs. Ketchum sighed a bit, "Misty, what made him faint this time? You didn't give him another paradox, did you? You know how those make him woozy."

"No, Mrs. Ketchum, he just got scared. He got terrified and he fainted." Gary informed, sounding like he was still distracted at Ash's unexpected faint. "Come to think of it, I'm a little woozy myself. Can I get away from Misty for a moment? I'll be really quiet with all of you, I promise!"

"Wimp! What, you can't handle this? Look at it! That's right, look at it! Does it make you sick? Does it? I demand the truth! It makes you green around the girls, you pansy! I say Gary should stay with me until he faints along with Ash and gets used to the sight. They both need to man up."

The Waterflower sisters wrinkled their noses, confused as to what the sigh was, and it was Violet who found her voice first. "Misty, what happened that the boys are, like, nauseous? Like, something must've happened. You, like, want to come over here so we can, like, find out what's wrong?"

"No," Misty said too quickly, her voice high and squeaky. "Everything's fine!"

"Like, little sister," Daisy warned. "Like, don't make me, like, come back there. I totally won't be happy if I have to move. I've, like, gotten really comfortable here so I'll, like, give you to the count of three. One…two…Two and a half…"

"But…But you'll touch it!" She squealed. "I'm fine! You can take Gary and Ash! Please let it go! It's no big deal! You know how boys exaggerate this stuff. They heard a heavy gasp. "I'm not coming over there and you can't make me! Don't you even try, you hear me? You try and I'll run away!"

Daisy groaned and pushed to her feet, striding back to the kitchen with a sing song, "Little sister? Like, come here. I won't, like, hurt you." Then a yelp of shock followed by, "Like, ohmigawd! Tracey! Tracey! Brock! Come help me! Ohmigawd! Misty, how the hell did you do that to yourself?"

Everyone leapt to their feet and went back to the kitchen, half expecting it to be nothing big. What they found was far from nothing big, and was very gory. A knife, soaked in blood sat on the blood drowned countertop while Misty held up a hand leaking thick, red blood form the webbing between her thumb and index finger. She attempted to hide it behind her back, face depicting every essence of shame.

"Okay, Misty, let's get this under the sink to get all that extra blood off. Tracey, could you run and get the medkit so I can gauze her up? Antiseptic too. Holy…do you have an actual hole through your hand? Brock gawked at her. "How'd you do that?"

Gary spoke up. "It was freaking. She was chipping up potatoes, and Ash insulted her or something like that. She slammed the knife into the cutting board, but Pikachu made a noise so she jumped and slammed the knife through her hand and pinned it to the cutting board. She didn't even say anything. She just stared at it, then pulled the knife out. Then, Ash fainted."

"Ow! Brock!" Misty cried as Tracey handed the antiseptic to Brock and he lathered it on her hand. "That stings! Why do you have to poor that in! That hurts a million times more than getting cut!"

"Explain to me," Brock said, pulling out the gauze. "How can you stab a knife through your hand without a complaint, then pull it out without a word, but you scream at a little sting? You're crazy, you know that?"

"It was a big sting," Misty argued. "And I was in shock from that whole 'I stabbed myself' thing. I didn't feel any kind of pain. I just felt numb." She giggled. "I can't believe Ash fainted!"

Then, two arms were around her waist, Ash's head cuddling into the space between her shoulder blades. "I'm so, so sorry, Mist! I don't believe this happened! It's…It's all my fault! I shouldn't have bugged you with a knife in your hand! You always tell me not to and I did anyway! I know you meant it as a threat but I didn't know you could get hurt too!"

Her face looked like it was trying to hold back laughter as she consoled, "There, there Ahs. It doesn't hurt and it was just an accident, no one's fault. My hand doesn't even hurt that much! Look at how well Brock fixed me up!"

"You're not completely fixed. We've got to take you into the hospital so they can stitch you up. You have a hole in your hand. Did you really think it would be as easy as bandages? Let's get to the car. What a happy birthday for you, Mrs. Ketchum."

"It's fine," She laughed. "After Ash I'm used to things like this. Is there anything you need Misty, or are you set to go to the hospital?"

"I should be fi-"

"I can't believe you have to get sewn up! I bet that'll hurt! A needle? I can't even take a shot!" Ash wailed.

"I'm sure it won't be that bad, Ash. They'll probably use staples anyway!" His face paled and he began to cry again. "No! Ash, don't cry! Look, even if I have to cut off my hand, I've still got one good one left, and it's the hand I write with!" She grabbed his hand in her good one, and the crying stopped. "You don't have to worry, okay Ash? I'm okay. It's not your fault and it's all going to be alright."

He sniffled and nodded and squeezed her hand a little tighter.

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Once again, I'm sorry about the length. And, I know there's more AAML than DAML. There's going to be an AAML chapter, a DAML chapter, and a AMDML one. Alrighty? Love y'all!