I already know it. I'm fucking insane.
Or am I just on my way there?
i can't seem
to get my h
ead straight
for some str
ange reason
i can't seem
to think righ
t-- i'm not i
nsane. not l
ike the othe
rs... i know
the differenc
e. i can tell t
he difference
between insa
ne and not...
now that we'
ve establishe
d that, i can /--/--/i can't focus
safely.../--/--/it's almost impossible when
what was i d/--/--/my brain keeps jumping back
oing? i was t/--/--/and forth between thoughts
rying to get t/--/--/like this. my mind simply can't
o sleep, but i/--/--/take this kind of nonsense.
can't get to s/--/--/it's impossible to focus.
leep, not for h/--/--/i need something; more
ours, because/--/--/water, or something. i need
the funny bee/--/--/some kind of change or something.
r is back, and/--/--/it's hard to breathe. i have to
it won't go aw/--/--/moniter it. make sure it's happening.
ay, it just kee/--/--/i can't see. i can't see anything.
ps going and g/--/--/i think my eyes are open. i think.
oing and going/--/--/this isn't right. things haven't been
and going and/--/--/right for quite some time now. i just
going and goin/--/--/want this shit to be over. i just want
g and going an/--/--/this shit to fucking stop as soon as
d going and go/--/--/possible. just stop, please just fucking
ing and it neve/--/--/stop. my mind is going off in a
r ever stops. e/--/--/hundred/--/--/round
ver.../--/--/different/--/--/and
i always heard /--/--/directions/--/--/round
that counting s/--/--/at/--/--/the
heep would hel/--/--/once./--/--/mulberry
p you fall aslee/--/--/please/--/--/bush/--/--/F
p, and i suppos/--/--/someone/--/--/the/--/--/U
e that it's wort/--/--/help/--/--/monkey/--/--/C
a try. it has to/--/--/me/--/--/chase/--/--/K
be better than/--/--/i/--/--/the/--/--/!
just sitting her/--/--/need/--/--/weasel/--/--/!
e in torment a/--/--/sleep/--/--/something/--/--/!
nd discomfort./--/--/or/--/--/something
i count one sh/--/--/death/--/--/something
eep as it gets /--/--/or/--/--/some
eaten by the w/--/--/life/--/--/thing
olf. the wolf rip/--/--/or/--/--/and
s off the head /--/--/SOMETHING/--/--/suddenly
of the second /--/--/stop this fucking craziness/--/--/...
one and uses i/--/--/some one/--/--/p
t to slow down/--/--/something/--/--/o
the third one b/--/--/help me./--/--/p
y lobbing it at i/--/--/make it stop./--/--/goes
ts poor little sh/--/--/please./--/--/the
eep head.. ... ./--/--/MAKE IT FUCKING STOP!!/--/--/weasel
The rest of the sheep explode, and my world shatters with it.
And suddenly I'm free.
My eyes pop open before I even realize I'm awake.
When did the pounding start? Is it in my head, or at the door? Perhaps both?
Fuck.
The door opens.
Suddenly I notice that I'm laying on the floor. My body is extremely stiff. My joints ache. It hurts to move.
I also notice that this isn't my hut.
I also notice that I'm surrounded by others, all sleeping on the floor as well. Too many people for one room.
The light from the door hurts my eyes.
Some goon I don't recognize at the door, shouting at us all to wake up. We have a meeting in the center of town. He says "get yourself something to drink and eat, and meet in twenty."
It wasn't a dream. As unclear as everything was, I know the events of last night weren't natural. Not in the slightest.
Shit.
What exactly did happen last night?
Ugh.
My mouth feels like wet paper.
Stomach is turning on me.
Something's knocking on the back door, and they're bringing some bad news with them.
My head hurts.
I need to take something.
Digging in my pockets, I find one of those packages with a single dose of generic pain meds.
Now all I need is a glass of water…
I feel better. Loads better. Like, not even hungry. These are some badass painkillers. Perhaps I wasted them? Maybe I should have saved them for something more serious.
I'm numb.
Such a strange numb.
What was that about a meeting?
Making our way to the center of time, we all walk like little drones. We do not speak to each other, nor do we make a sound otherwise.
Nobody wants to say anything. At all.
We're all walking so slow, as well. As if to prolong the journey. As if we are all dreading the destination. Why? Why this craziness? I don't even know what I did last night; I don't have any idea what is going on. Are we under alert? Some sort of weird defense routine we don't know about?
Straining to think.
Pictures. Random instances. Rotor, running away. "Fuck you, Vernon. Eat shit!"
I remember someone saying he was bad. Miles. "Watch out for that walrus" or something. "He might eat you, because you're a clam"
Something like that. But why? What do I make of this utter nonsense? My brain simply can't handle this shit. Not now. Not this early.
Shit, I haven't even had my coffee. I'm running on water and pain meds.
I'm tired.
My head doesn't feel necessarily attached to my body. That shit ever happen to you? I think I might be getting used to it. But why? Is this the first time?
My head isn't… right.
Maybe it's not attached under a symbolic respect.
Whatever. I feel fucking weird.
I think that about sums it up.
The only thing is, I can't distinguish the difference. I'm not sure what's currently adverse to normal. All I know is the fact that it isn't normal.
But what do I normally feel like?
Not like this.
Shit. I'm talking in circles.
I'm such a whore.
Fuck. Why can't I answer such an easy fucking question?
Because I'm lame in all ways. Is that it?
I think it might be.
Ugh.
My head hurts again, despite the painkillers.
Suddenly a flash, and in my head I can see Miles surrounded by light. The princess. Sally. Did I see her last night? I can't remember.
Strange vibrations from the cloudy events that took place. It's almost like I'm blocking it or something. Mentally.
Hell.
Let's see where this nonsense takes me. Maybe I'm still asleep. I feel invincible enough. Soon enough, I'll test the limits of this world.
Soon.
Suddenly we arrive. Antoine stands tall among us on his stage.
Standing at the very end of it. Just behind him on his gigantic platform are scattered piles of rocks. I wonder why.
I don't like him. He gives me a bad feeling. The look on his face. The deadness of his eye. The tone of his voice. His demeanor. I don't like it. Reminds me of a used car salesmen. Fake.
I don't like it. Not one bit.
"Attention citizens of Knothole!"
Nobody says anything. I've seen this before, but this time it's different. There's something wrong.
People aren't responding to him anymore. Just listening.
"You are no longer citizens of Knothole. Do you know why?"
Dead silence.
"Because you are now citizens of Mobotropolis. That's right; it will no longer be referred to as Robotropolis. Today we take it back. Not only that, but today we take our dignity back. We bring justice back. Today, citizens… friends… we take back what is ours. We take back what has been missing. Have all of you had a glass of water?"
Nothing. He just blankly stares at us.
"Alright then. In order to truly be able to step forward, we must clean the slate. To rise clean, we must wash away the filth. Before I can proceed as your true leader, I have to know if I am your true leader. Understand?"
…
"Now I want you all to come up here, and stand in a circle, alright? Go ahead."
We all start making our way in the direction of the stage. Some of us take the small steps on the left. Some of us take the small steps on the right. A few others and I just hopped up the middle.
We form a crude circle on the wide platform. He is standing in the center of the crowded circle.
"This is a test" he goes on to say. "A test of your loyalty. A test of your will. For I am afraid that if you cannot pass this test; you are shit out of luck. You will not be able to take on Robotnik today, and more importantly, you will not be able to take on Robotnik ever. If you cannot complete this simple task, than you will be completely worthless. Are you ready to prove your worth?"
"…"
"I asked if you were ready to prove your worth!"
"Sir, yes sir!"
"Excellent. I present to you; your old leader."
He whistles, and calls his goons. Two of them make their way through a sudden break in the circle. Their arms are linked around the bound arms of one Princess Sally. She is gagged, and her bound feed drag across the ground as the two weasels carry her by her harms. Drag her by her arms.
The circle closes.
She is dropped onto her knees, and the circle reopens as the two weasels make their way off the stage.
The circle closes.
"Citizens- friends. It is time. It is time that we wiped the slate clean. It is time we cleaned this stain off our record forever. Ladies and gentlemen; pick up as many rocks as you can hold."
The circle breaks as the mobians scurry to the rock pile near them. I turn around, and snag one off the top of a pile. Turning back around, I notice Antoine is making his way to the very back of the stage.
The circle closes, once again.
"Ladies and gentlemen. This leader has done you wrong. She, who supposedly represents us and everything we're supposed to stand for, has shamed us far too greatly for us to ever forgive, or forget this travesty. She didn't care for you; she only cared for herself. We could have reached utopia, but she wouldn't have it. Let's wipe this mark from our record. Let's prove to god and Satan alike that we won't take shit from any leader who fucks over his people! Let's put fear in the hearts of the immortal and mortal alike! Ladies and gentlemen; AIM AND FIRE!"
And as if everyone was at the ready, rocks soar to the center of the circle.
One hits her throat causing a gurgling and cracking noise.
One goes to her back with a thud.
One bounces off her tit.
One cracks against her face.
One hits her temple, and knocks her over sideways.
Rocks fly upward, and shower down upon her, while I stand there and do nothing.
My fist tightens around my rock.
She isn't moving anymore.
This isn't real.
Just a dream.
Fuck it.
Turning around I use my entire body's momentum to push over the fucker behind me, tossing his rock up into the air. I smash into him, and he tumbles over.
Running as fast as I can, I leap from the stage. My legs still in motion in the air, when they hit the ground, they take off, my body almost dragging behind it.
"ABANDONER! KILL THE ABANDONER!"
"STOP HIM NOW!"
Rocks fly passed me in all directions. Jumping behind a hut at a vertical angle, I sprint for the hills.
Fuck that. I don't care if it's real or not, I don't want to be around that shit.
I can hear them behind me. Shouting and running. Their noisy shoes pounding across the metal stage, and leaping off after me. I think I even hear some of the assholes using the stairs. Stupid fucks. Veering away from the trail, I can't exactly be too sure where I'm going. Trees moving past me, almost like I'm moving the ground. Is this what it was like for Sonic?
Not even looking back, I can hear the shouts getting more and more faint.
I don't stop though.
Fuck that shit. Fuck that shit right to hell.
The rock is still in my hand.
Only now do I notice how badly my hand was hurting.
Dropping the rock into the other hand, I squeeze my hand open and closed.
I'm sitting by a creek. There's this large drop-off of land; a sort of trench. I can comfortably sit here without being seen, or getting wet. My back against the side, the next drop-off for the water to rush silently down at my feet.
I'm so tired.
It's been hours. I don't have a watch, so I can't say accurately. I've been sitting here for a long ass time.
The sun is high overhead.
Looking down at the rock, and the way it glistens in the sun. Very shiny rock, it is. Very pretty.
I need to start looking for a place to sleep soon. A place to hide for the night. Thank god I have the canteen filled. I'd hate to have to drink creek water. That stuff tastes awful.
Ugh.
I don't want to think about all of this now. I want to look at my rock. I want to admire how precious it is. The beauty.
One could lose themselves in beauty like this.
I've been searching for hours. I'm going east; Robotropolis is north. Hopefully I've gone far enough out of their way by now that they have just given up. Started for the city.
Bah. Not like any of this is real anyway.
It can't be. It isn't. I'm making all of this up.
Take a large sip of the water.
I mean, nothing makes sense. If this was real, shit would make sense. That's all there is to it.
Am I right? Am I right?
I'm right. I have to be. This is a dream. This is my head. In my head, I am always right.
The sun is setting. Off in the distance, I can see some sort of structure. A large tree that has fallen over, and caught onto another tree against a wall of sorts. A drop-off from higher land. Large branches, and a mass quantity of leaves cover a close to the ground section of a tree. A shelter. A place to sleep.
A sanctuary.
Fuck yes.
Making may way over, walking around the right side of the shelter. Craning my neck to look in the opening, I see-
Oh fuck.
"Hey Rotor."
"What the fuck are you doing here?"
I stammer. I can't seem to find the right words. Not exactly sure what to say to the guy. He scoots forward, and gets up out of his shelter. I guess this solves the question of how it got here. Who built it, that is.
"I asked you a question, Vernon! What the fuck are you doing here? Shouldn't you be recording something?"
He pushes me, and I stumble backwards, into a tree.
Fucker.
Don't trust the walrus.
Look out for the walrus.
The walrus can't help you.
The walrus won't help you.
THE WALRUS WILL EAT YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A WORTHLESS FUCKING CLAM!!
And it was in that instant that something snap. My right fist tightens around the rock, and I raise it high in the air …. …
And bring it down on the fat face of that conniving walrus. Blood spurts from his nose as he stumbles backwards.
Bringing the rocks pointy edge against his face once more, his skin flakes and tears.
Blood runs down his cheek.
I bring the point down hard onto his head again and again.
He falls. He falls hard.
I dive in after him, all of my momentum behind this rock.
I beat his pudgy head until there's nothing left of it.
Sitting on his chest, hyperventilating.
Fuck me. What just happened?
No, no, no.
This didn't happen.
I didn't do this.
I just need to drag his carcass out of my line of view, build a fire, and everything will be alright.
I chug what's left of the canteen.
Fuck it.
Besides, it's a dream.
And now I have a shelter for the night.
How do you like that?