All he could do was hope that next night would be better than this… and for a moment it seemed that it could be, what with his grandfather choosing to eat in his study, which left only himself and Kaname at the breakfast table, the latter looking if possible even more pale and withdrawn, but making an effort to be exceedingly polite toward the servants, even if Takuma's own attempts to start an innocent conversation didn't meet with success.

After breakfast Kaname retreated back to his room, having refused Takuma's offer of a walk in the woods together, but still – that evening Takuma still felt hopeful that given time the pureblood would gradually relax into his new surroundings and feel more at ease in his own company – once the worst of his grief had time to work off…

And then the guests came… His grandfather was usually not the one to entertain much at his estate… oh shoot, to entertain much - full-stop, unless it was for business or political reasons, and seeing that both guests were members of the Council, Takuma could only surmise that their visit had to do with the newly appointed guardianship. Especially since both he and Kaname were called to participate in long and excruciatingly formal dinner, which only demonstrated to Takuma that the breakfast before was almost normal by comparison.

Kaname looked stiff, answered monosyllabically to the merciless probing of the older vampires and barely picked at his food, but kept his aura tightly under control, and Takuma found himself the only one ready to lose his composure shamefully - fairly squirming in his place because of the strange – half gloating, half almost lustful – glances directed at the young pureblood by Ichio and his guests.

The guests brought another sacrifice – 'their humble gift for grieving boy' – as his grandfather announced non-too-tactfully right before desserts, and for a moment Takuma thought he noticed the armor that Kaname surrounded himself with fail, as he heard a barely audible catch of breath, quickly turned into a resigned 'Thank you, you are too kind'. Kaname didn't touch his dessert at all after that, and in Takuma's eyes – his going down with the older vampires after dinner looked like someone being led on to execution rather than towards a welcome relief the sacrifice was supposed to provide.

That set a pattern for the days to come – his grandfather showed no sign of leaving any time soon and each night the Council members would arrive in twos and threes – presumably to check on how the pureblood was settling into his new home – with sacrifices in tow. And each day – Takuma would lie without sleep waiting for tired shuffling steps to the room next door and the inevitable breathtaking moment in the late afternoon – which for vampires equaled the human early hours of dawn – when Kaname gave in momentarily to the turmoil within him, and then fought bitterly to bring it back in check.

Strangely enough – it seemed to Takuma that the sacrifices – instead of sating Kaname's grief only worked to amplify it, for it didn't seem to diminish as the days went on – but rather increased, the anger and despair of the first day gradually giving way to total despondency and self-loathing, that the kindly vampire couldn't see any reason for Kaname to feel towards himself.

After a pair of days Kaname stopped coming out even for breakfast, the trays sent up to his room returning almost untouched, and only appeared when summoned to greet the new guests… and to partake of new sacrifices…

The gloomy silence settled around the house, the servants fairly tiptoeing around, and Takuma found that even he couldn't enjoy his regular pastimes anymore – his mind constantly worried by how Kaname was faring and his body exhausted by the days of sleepless vigil. Each day he would decide anew to go knock on Kaname's door and ask if he could help him… somehow… in whatever way possible… He even progressed to actually going out of his room and standing quietly – his hand pressed tight to the next door – but still couldn't summon the courage to actually knock. Faced with the pulsing and troubled aura pouring out from within – ah! could he help him at all? Could anyone?

So he felt nonplussed and almost 'caught while spying' when a soft voice drifted to him from beyond that closed door on what was probably the seventh day after Kaname first appeared in their house.

"Ichijou-kun, you can enter already. Do you think I can't feel that you are standing there every day? Do come in."

Takuma didn't know what he expected to see when he entered – probably Kaname in bed, seeing as it was almost evening already… though of course – even before the words allowing him to enter the room - he knew without a doubt that the inhabitant inside was not asleep – judging by the aura that though contracted already was still only partially reigned in, and the oppressive cloud of it became only more tangible now that there were no walls or doors separating him from the pureblood.

What he wasn't prepared to see though was that the other boy didn't even change out of his dinner attire, sitting on the farther edge of the bed, his head in his hands, as if he hadn't moved from this position ever after coming back to his quaters. The drapes weren't drawn either and the room stood awash with late afternoon light that should have been quite bothersome for the acute vampire (especially pureblood) sight, except that this pureblood didn't seem to pay the least attention or even register it.

Mind overflowing with worry for the desolate figure Takuma momentarily forgot the anxiety he felt before he'd come through the door, rushing up to the window to close the curtains then back to the other boy's side with the words tumbling out of his mouth at the same speed.

"Kaname-sama, have you been sitting like this for all these hours?.. Ow shit… Come on, you'd be more comfortable if you lie down!" He climbed the bed behind the pureblood, gently tugging the jacket from his shoulders – to which Kaname wearily complied, straightening somewhat to let the sleeves be pulled from his arms. Takuma was sure that he'd be even more comfortable if he'd change into his pajama altogether – especially since Kaname's shirt sported a few distinct blood stains along the front, but he let it rest for now, fearing that the pureblood might refuse this much abuse of his privacy. "Here, - he instead announced brightly, - now, lie down, do! It's almost time to wake up and you have to rest properly…"

He knew he was blubbering and Kaname's next words as he indeed lay down gingerly with his back to Takuma, one hand covering his eyes and the other clenched at his chest as if to ease an ache there - hurt more exactly because they were so close on the spot.

"I have allowed you to come, Ichijou-kun, not to talk."

Mortified by the cold tone, Takuma started getting off the bed, only to be stopped by soft, almost pleading – "I'm sorry… Please, stay… just, please, do not talk… I need to…" Kaname broke off, but Takuma knew what was left unsaid – 'to bring myself in order', 'to get hold of my feelings' – hardly the things the proud pureblood would speak out loud… and his own momentary hurt so paled in comparison to what the older boy was going through… Mutely he climbed back onto bed and sat by Kaname's side searching for a way to express that he did understand and if possible do so without words. The answer he came with was putting his hand hesitantly onto Kaname's shoulder, and even with that the younger vampire almost feared another rebuke… but the pureblood lay still, his shoulder trembling lightly under Takuma's fingers as if there was a high-voltage current coursing within the slender form.

They stayed so until the trembles subsided and the pureblood seemed back in control of himself – and decidedly sleepy. Still he turned his head and looked at Takuma with those all too grown-up reddish-brown eyes filled now with tentative gratitude and soft regret.

"You should go catch some sleep as well, Ichijou-kun. You've stayed sleepless long enough on my behalf."

The next few days developed into a new routine. Takuma didn't wait for invitation or for Kaname to break down completely anymore – just for his grandfather's footsteps to fade into distance and then some quarter of an hour to let Kaname prepare to bed - which the pureblood unfailingly did: ever since that first afternoon Takuma would find him already changed into his pajama lying in that same pose – on the very edge of the bed, one hand pressed to his head and another clutching the collar, sometimes under the covers and sometimes over them - as if changing clothes was the extent of effort that the pureblood could bear on that day.

There was no doubt in Takuma's mind that it was indeed an effort and Kaname undertook it solely for his sake, or maybe – to spare himself the indignity of being undressed by another person – as an invalid or a child. Whatever the reason – all that mattered for Takuma was that the pureblood was more comfortable this way, so he'd sit down by his side, a hand resting on the frigidly stiff shoulder, stilling himself for the onslaught of Kaname's aura – that his touch seemed to be the trigger for now – and Takuma felt humbled by the fact that the proud pureblood not only allowed him this glimpse into the depth of his agony but seemed to actually need his silent comfort to weather the storm.

Sometimes he'd stay awake until Kaname felt better and would be gently shooed back to his own bed, sometimes – to his utter chagrin – the exhaustion would catch up with him – and he would doze there and then, to wake up in the early evening – still sitting beside the sleeping pureblood – and steal out as quietly as possible hoping that his grandfather would not choose this moment to visit any of their rooms.

They did not converse. Though the earlier rebuke was never repeated, Takuma somehow sensed that Kaname needed his presence, not his words, even though the pureblood himself would sometime utter a few disjointed sentences – not really directed at Ichijou, and the latter wondered if when saying them Kaname was even aware that someone could hear them besides himself.

Nevertheless, the younger vampire couldn't help the questions that grew in his mind when he heard something like - "I'm turning into something I do not want to be… something I cannot allow myself to be…" spoken in a tortured and urgent whisper - the questions he longed to ask… Why was Kaname so against the sacrifices? Why did they seem to only aggravate his condition when everyone said that they were supposed to help? Why did he seem to loath himself more with each passing day, so much so that at times he'd start to claw at his chest, and Takuma would have to press his other hand over the other boy's to stop him from drawing blood, as his claws extended and his eyes burned crimson from under the half-lowered lids? Oh why – on another occasion – he said that he 'promised myself that I'd never do that again' and then clutched both his hands to his head and buried it deep into pillows as if he feared it'd burst?

But however he'd want to ask all that, he kept quiet, granting the pureblood the solace of his silent acceptance – if that was the thing that helped him survive for another night… Not that it was much help… Every night, every sacrifice he accepted seemed to make another chink in Kaname's control, and Takuma watched with growing trepidation as the pureblood almost vibrated with effort of holding onto it even in the gloating presence of Asato and his guests.

Then came the day when there were no guests, no sacrifices, but Ichio had requested Kaname's presence in his study late in the morning, and when the pureblood returned Takuma felt his uneasy agitation right through the wall and hurried into his room not waiting even to give the pureblood time to undress.

Kaname wasn't preparing for bed though – instead, Takuma found him gazing out of the window into the grayish twilight of the oncoming day.

"Ichijou-kun," he spoke lightly, in sharp contrast with the tension permeating all his slight body, and Takuma thought that it was the first time that the pureblood addressed him directly since that silence-demanding rebuke and the following plea to stay, "I thought… I thought you wouldn't come today… I thought you would be resting before the grand event…"

"What grand event?" Takuma didn't know if he was allowed to talk, but his surprise made him speak out without thinking. Luckily the pureblood didn't seem to mind it for once - instead he turned sharply, a look of shocked incredulity in his eyes.

"Didn't he tell you? He made it perfectly clear for me that both I and you are expected to attend…"

Ah, now he understood!

"It's OK," Takuma shrugged matter-of-factly, "my grandfather never tells me about his plans in advance. Even if they concern me…" He didn't mean to sound bitter, but… he guessed it was unavoidable…

"Well, then I will tell you!" The heated defiance brought color to purebloods cheeks – making him into a compelling picture and reminding Takuma of the little boy Kaname once was, shy and quiet indeed but with the "fairness" streak a mile wide - as he recalled, and he felt sorry that they hadn't quite paid attention to each other during that one meeting nor made friends back then – before the tragedy struck…

The emotional outburst seemed to drain Kaname's energy though, or maybe, as Takuma guessed a bit later – he just found it difficult to speak about the subject, anyway - the pureblood turned back to the window, splaying his hand against the cool glass as if to support himself.

"There will be a funeral party for Haruka and Juuri Kuran at one of the Council estates tomorrow…" He gulped as if the very words pained his throat. "Such a travesty really… every word of it… A funeral!.. Almost three weeks after!.. For purebloods, for vampires, whose ash is long spent on the wind… and… a party?!.. oh…" A strange sound escaped his lips, something midway between a chuckle and a sob, and Takuma realized with sudden clarity that not once – through all this days filled with struggle and suffering had the pureblood shed a single tear of grief or pain. "Just another Council ploy to showcase the Kuran orphan and flaunt their control over the poor miserable me…"

It was the longest that Ichijou had heard Kaname speak at one time, and the pureblood must've realized it himself, since he stopped rather abruptly.

"Go and rest, Ichijou-kun… such functions are tiring affairs… and I too… have to prepare myself…"