Disclaimer: All rights reserved for CBS
A/n: I want to say thank you to those who reviewed. I hope this helps those watching tonight to enjoy the ep. It looks like it might be fun, but I'll miss Sara. Thinking of her like this will make it easier. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone.
Chapter 2
Sara stared out the window watching the desert come to life in the dawning light. The landscape went from plum shadows to pale peach as the sun rose. At one time she would have found the sight breathtaking, but her time in the desert had robbed her of that ability. She knew how dangerous those shadows could be, and how punishing the now pale sun would become. Turning away from the window, she took in her fellow passengers. They were a quiet bunch, most heading home after losing their money at the casinos. You could tell who'd lost their savings, and who'd stuck to their vacation budgets, and the former was winning three to one. There were a couple of lost looking souls, heading who knew where. Across from her was a young mother with her son. He looked to be around five, and he was squiggling around in his seat. His mom reached into a bag and brought out a coloring book and crayons. His grin when she handed them to him was more than Sara could take. She turned and stared at the seat in front of her. How different things would have been if her mom had been like that.
Sara closed her eyes and listened to the wind blow by the window, letting it whip her hair around. For the moment the car was silent, but she knew better than to count on that to last. She had to enjoy it while she could. She could feel her older brother splayed out in the seat next to her, and could feel the anger rolling off him. It hadn't been her fault. He was the one that'd told her to go hide in his room. How was she supposed to know that that bag of stuff she'd found under his bed wasn't dirt? He had protested that the weed wasn't his, that he'd taken it away from his friend, but their mom didn't believe that for one minute. For that matter neither did Sara, but she didn't think he deserved the punishment he'd gotten. She'd tried to apologize but he was too mad to hear it. He'd been planning a big camping trip with some friends, and now that wasn't gonna happen. He'd been grounded for a year, but Sara didn't feel bad about that. What she felt bad about was that he hadn't been able to sit for a week after he'd been punished, and he'd cried every night. Years from now, when she told this story, she'd leave that part out. They'd gone only a few more miles when trouble started. Sara's dad who was driving, as her mother insisted, decided to pull over for a bathroom break. "Bill, we've only been on the road for thirty minutes, surely you can hold it longer than that. Is your bladder the size of a pea?" Bill cleared his throat and glanced in the rearview mirror. "I thought it might be a good chance to get a couple of drinks too. The kids look thirsty." Laura rolled her eyes. "Yeah, and then we'll be stopping every few miles because they have to go to the bathroom. We'll never get there at this rate." Up until now this had been a valid argument, but Sara could see the anger boiling behind her mothers eyes, and she knew this wasn't over. Her father would never learn though, so a few minutes later when he pulled over he was surprised when Laura wheeled on him. "What did I say?!" She yelled. "I said don't stop!" Bill shook his head. "No dear, you said the kids shouldn't have drinks, but I still have to go to the bathroom." Sara closed her eyes and cringed in the corner. She knew her brother had too much of his mother in him to stay out of it. And of course he chimed in. "And why shouldn't we have something to drink?" His arms were crossed and he glared towards the front seat. Sara just kept thinking, "Don't do it, don't do it, don't do it." It didn't work. Her mom turned in the seat and gave him THE LOOK. Sara tuned to stare out the window, but she still heard the slap when it came. The rest of the trip was silent, and when they got home a few days later, both her brother and father sported bruised cheeks.
And that was why she hated road trips. Well, she HAD hated road trips, but that was before Grissom had shown her how fun they could be. She turned and looked down at a tug on her sleeve. The little boy was standing there, and smiling. "Hi." He whispered.
Sara smiled despite herself. "Hey." She watched him watching her for a moment. She looked up to see if his mom knew what he wanted, but she was dozing in her seat. He noticed where she was looking.
"Mama's tired. I'm gonna let her rest." He cocked his head and looked at her. "You look tired too. Why don't you take a snooze? My daddy said sleeping in the car was the best because it was very thurpadic."
Sara couldn't help it, she giggled. "Therapeutic? Yeah, it can be good, especially if you have a nice shoulder to lie on." Sara looked back over to his mom. "Where is your dad?"
"Daddy's in heaven. Mama says he's gettin lotsa rest now." He frowned a little. "I still wish he was here. Sometimes."
Sara's heart thudded in her chest. She reached out and took his hand. "I'm sorry sweetie." She didn't know what else to say. No one had ever said anything to her.
The little boy looked up at her from under his lashes. "Tha's okay. Mama says daddy was strong, but chesterol was stronger. You don't eat too much chesterol do you? Mama says you shouldn't."
A voice spoke from across the aisle. "Jaime, get back over here and leave the nice lady alone."
The boy, Jamie, looked back at him mom, and Sara looked too. Sara shook her head. "It's okay, he wasn't bothering me."
The woman shook her head. "I'm sure that's true, but he knows he's not supposed to talk to strangers." Her voiced was weary as she looked back to Jamie. "C'mon, come cuddle up with me and get some sleep. " Jamie frowned, but nodded and turned to go, but he turned back.
"Maybe you should rest too. You do look tired." He turned back and climbed back up in his seat, and his mom put her arm around him and pulled him close.
Sara turned away and looked out the window. The sun was shining brightly now and the wind coming through her open window was sweet. Snuggling could be fun. Her chest tightened at the thought of never snuggling with Gil again. She could still remember the first time they'd really snuggled.
A knock sounded at the door and she glanced at the clock. "A bit early tonight." She murmured with a smile as she went to open the door. The smile changed to a frown as she saw how tired he looked. She opened the door wider and moved aside for him to come in. He stopped a couple of feet from the door and after she closed the door, he pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her.
"This is all I've been able to think of all night." He said as he buried his face in her hair.
She wrapped her arms around him and held him tight. "What brought this on?" She was worried. Things had seemed fine that morning when she'd left work, and she couldn't think of what could've happened since then to change things.
He sighed and pulled back. "The case I was working, the guy was found dead on his couch, well turns out he died of a heart attack. He had two small sons." He took her hand and pulled her toward the couch. They sat and he was silent for a while, then he finally spoke. "When I was nine my dad came home one day and sat on the couch. My mom was in the kitchen. I was watching TV, the Green Hornet. When my mom came in with some drinks she couldn't wake him up. The funeral was three days later. No one would tell me what happened. Finally when I was eighteen I got the answer. Myocardial infarction. His heart just gave up. My dad was the only person that ever really understood me. He was a botanist, and while he loved his plants, I loved to study the bugs that fed off of them. When he was gone, I was alone. My mom loved me, but she didn't understand me." He looked up at her, and smiled. "You get me like only he ever did." He pulled her towards him and gently took her mouth in a long kiss. When he pulled away, he asked. "Do you think we could snuggle for a while?" Heart in her throat Sara had nodded, and for the first time ever she felt truly at home."
Sara sighed. Opening her purse she pulled out her personal cell phone. She'd left the department issue one at work, and only close friends had the number for this one. She'd turned it off so that when he called, if he called, she wouldn't be tempted to answer it, and be talked into staying. Turning it on now, she waited for it to power up. What was she going to say? Could he ever forgive her? The phone jingled and she flipped it open. The message read, 'One missed call'. Her eyebrows shot up. Only one call? He'd only called once? If it had been him. What if he hadn't gotten the letter? What if he thought she was just gone? Or taken by another mad-woman? She hurriedly pulled up the messages and played the one message there. She hesitated a moment, but then pulled it up. She chewed her thumb as she listened. There was silence, then his voice. "Sara… I'm sorry I didn't see this coming. I hate that you have to go through it alone, but I just want you to know that I'll be here when you're ready. You are my everything. I will miss you with every beat of my heart. I love you. I always will. Talk to you later." She played it over five times, tears rolling down her cheeks. Finally she pressed one, and listened to it ring until it was picked up. "Grissom." His voice was terse. Sara sniffed and said. "Hey Gil, it's me…"
TBC….
A/n 2: The phone conversation will be continued in Masquerade.