Not like this…Not like this…
These words repeated in her head over and over as tears spilled down her face almost continually now.
They had been waiting for over half an hour to go into Jarod's room, but so far the nurse had kept them out.
Parker paced wordlessly up and down the corridor as she passed her hands through her hair.
Sydney was leaning against the wall as if his soul had been sucked out of him, and the support of the wall was the only thing keeping him upright.
Broots was the only one that seemed more in control. He was the one that was pestering the nurses and doctors for the progress on Jarod…and what was taking so long.
It was a good thing he was there because neither Parker or Sydney seemed to be able to pull themselves together.
Broots stared at Miss Parker in fascination. Never had he seen her like this. She had always been soo composed and in control. Yet now she seemed as though she wasn't able to stop herself from crumbling as Jarod lay in a hospital bed in a coma not ten feet away.
Suddenly the nurse stepped out of Jarod's room and all three approached her quickly.
Broots had talked to the nurse earlier. Kathy.
"Kathy is he ok? Can we see him now?" Broots asked.
Kathy looked over the faces in front of her. The lady and the older gentlemen looked as though their world had been shattered. They both had bloodied clothes and both looked as white as a sheet. But the look in their eyes said it all.
Kathy sighed.
"You can see him now…" And before she could even finish her statement all three moved to pass her but she backed up and stayed in their way.
Parker's eyes flashed with anger at the nurse, but the nurse didn't move.
"But only one at a time."
What happen next shocked both Parker and Sydney.
"I'll go first." Broots said quickly.
Both looked at Broots shocked, but neither said anything as he entered Jarod's room with the nurse turning to watch him. Without turning around Kathy made a common statement. One that to most would not wound or offend. But the words cut deep as both Sydney and Parker heard them.
"He's lucky to have friends like you. People that care about him soo much."
Kathy smiled slowly and turned to look at the two.
Parker was letting the tears out again as she stared at the door as was Sydney.
"Yeah…" Parker whispered out, "real lucky."
In that moment Parker prayed for forgiveness of what she had helped do to the man on the other side of the door. Prayed to God that she would be forgiven for looking the other way as Jarod suffered at the hands of a man that lied to her all her life.
Parker didn't expect what words would come out of Sydney's mouth. It made her heart break as she too thought the same thing after Sydney said it.
Three words that summed up how lucky Jarod was to have them. What their relationship consisted of…the way they had 'showed' Jarod how much they 'cared about him'.
Sydney whispered the words. But Parker shut her eyes tightly as the words hit home hard.
"He didn't call."
Walking in the beeping of the machines and the sound of the machine that was breathing for Jarod caused goose bumps on Broots' skin.
Approaching slowly he didn't see Jarod right away. Curtains drawn about his bed made sure of that.
Swallowing Broots tried to ignore the overwhelming thumping of his heart.
Finally as he pulled away the curtain Broots looked down at Jarod.
Broots had to look away at the sight of Jarod for a moment. Turning back Broots was hit with an immeasurable amount of sorrow seeing the man in the bed looking like he was already dead.
Broots just stood there looking at Jarod as the machines beeped and breathed for Jarod.
It took a while but soon Broots convinced himself to sit next to Jarod's bed.
Eye's glancing up Broots stared at Jarod's face. His head was covered with bandages and gauze to cover the bullet wound. Swollen from the operation and whiter then a sheet of paper….Broots had never seen Jarod look like this.
Minutes passed and Broots realized that two people outside wanted desperately to see him.
Broots gathered his courage and continued to keep his emotions in check. But anyone could hear the pain in his voice as he spoke.
"I…ah…I…I never thought…it could come to this…you know. I thought…I thought you would win….in the end."
Broots looked down at his hands and fiddled.
"The ah…the doctors wouldn't tell me your condition…telling me that I was a good friend for caring so much…but they couldn't tell me."
Looking up at Jarod he had almost expected some sort of reaction, when none came he continued to stare as he continued to talk.
"They called me your friend…I didn't know how to respond…to that. I never…I didn't consider you one…..even though I guess I should have…I mean you saved my life and all. You risked your freedom to save my life…and I owe you more then anyone on this planet…and I can't…I can't even call you my friend."
Broots had begun to cry as Jarod didn't even twitch.
"I mean…I don't even think you've ever called me by my first name…and I know you know it…Earnest. You can't imagine how many kids use to make fun of me because of it but…but that doesn't matter. I don't know what I'm even saying but…but I think you can hear me…at least I hope you can."
Broots stood up and let out a huge sigh as another tear fell.
"I…I consider you my friend Jarod…and I'm going to finally start acting like your friend."
Broots reached down and squeezed Jarod's hand.
"Don't quit fighting Jarod. Don't let them win. There are people here that still need you in their lives…even if one of them won't admit it."
Slowly Broots pulled away and walked out of the room. As soon as he did both Parker and Sydney came up to him.
"How is he?" Sydney asked.
Broots looked at the two and then down. Bringing his eyes to Sydney and not Miss Parker he spoke.
"I won't lie to you Sydney…he doesn't look to well."
Sydney swallowed the lump in his throat and then turned to Miss Parker. No words needed to be said.
Parker nodded her head fractionally.
Sydney didn't even give her time to rethink her decision. He entered the room swiftly and closed it behind him.
Since Broots had pulled back the curtain Jarod was visible from the doorway. Sydney covered his mouth at the sight and the tears poured out once more.
Slowly the elderly man that had raised Jarod since he was a boy walked up to the dying man in the bed and cried.
Cried for all the wrongs that he had done in his life, cried for what he had done to the man in the bed before him. But most of all he cried because even though Jarod was a genius- he was just realizing- he was also…just a man.
Parker tried to swallow down the tears but she just couldn't. Broots saying that he looked terrible only adding to her fears, and making her want to cry again.
She glanced at Broots and stopped.
Broots was crying. Tears silently crawled down his face as he looked at Jarod's door.
Broots felt her staring at him and looked at her. The question in her eyes was more then evident.
Choking back the frog in his throat he tried to answer her wordless question.
"Back at the apartment…we were talking to the cops and…they asked us who we were. Sydney…..Sydney called Jarod his son."
Parker closed her eyes but it didn't matter. She was going to cry anyway. Only now could she really understand Sydney.
After all the years of chasing Jarod she had never really thought of Sydney as Jarod's father. But in every single sense of the word…Sydney was Jarod's father. Jarod was Sydney's little boy.
"I…I can only imagine if that were Debbie in there…how I would be feeling." Broots continued to explain to Miss Parker, turning as he said this he noted the tears that were trailing down her face.
He stopped and looked at Miss Parker, really looked at her. Her eyes were closed and she was continuing to cry. In that second he realized something. She seemed…she seemed...
And it hit him.
"You…you love him."
Parker's eyes popped open and she looked over at Broots with her mouth open and eyes bright.
Broots smiled and shook his head.
"I can't…I can't believe it…all this time I just thought you cared for him…as a….as a friend but you…your in love with him."
Parker's mouth was moving but she couldn't seem to say anything.
Finally she was able to say one thing with a desperateness she had never experienced before.
"I can't love him."
It was what she had been taught all her life. Why she had been shipped off to school and had not seen Jarod for years. It was the inevitable that would happen between them. Because no matter what they said to her, or what they did to him. They always had each other. It was a bond that was made in one second. An instant that changed both of their lives from that moment on.
"But that doesn't mean that you don't." Broots whispered out.
Parker's eyes blazed with a sudden anger. They couldn't talk about this. No one could ever find out what Broots was witnessing.
Miss Parker was fading into the background as the little girl that had sought out adventure with Jarod began to emerge.
Broots was taken back as he watched in an instant how her eyes seemed to cloud over and she became more ridged. Miss Parker seemed to close herself off from the emotions she was experiencing to bring back the cold personality she usually showed people.
Miss Parker was finally able to pull back from the emotions, even though it was hard as she continued to cry. But none the less she composed herself for Broots benefit.
Letting the truth out would mean all of their executions.
"I don't love him Broots."
Broots just stared at her as she looked at the door. He just stared at her with an incredulous look on his face. Broots had only ever stood up to Miss Parker once, and it was to protect his daughter. Two times in one lifetime would be a death sentence…but at the moment he just couldn't believe the coldness in her voice…the way she could detach herself from the events that had happened that morning and open herself up…he wasn't going to let her hurt Jarod…not ever again.
"Then I think you should leave Miss Parker."
Miss Parker's eyes snapped to Broots at the statement. Eyes wide with astonishment.
Broots had a defiant face on. Miss Parker couldn't believe it. Broots was pissed.
"I'm sorry Miss Parker but I won't let you hurt him anymore. Especially if he's going to die in that room." As he said the last sentence he began to choke up and cry.
Parker just stood their in astonishment at the words coming out of Broots' mouth.
"If you don't love him…just go back to the Centre…let him at least die in peace."
And those words made her snap. Made her lose the control that she had had over her emotions.
"HE'S NOT GOING TO DIE!" She screamed at the top of her lungs as her eyes were opened widely.
The words weren't meant to convince Broots, and Broots knew it. Seeing the fear in her eyes for the first time that he had known her, it scared him. And he understood why she was trying to keep herself distant from what was happening.
"I hope your right." He whispered out after a silence fell between them.
It was then that Miss Parker heard the most terrifying thing in the world. The heart monitor in Jarod's room…as he flat lined.