So, not to much updating on my part. Sorry. It's been awfully hard though. Ben's birthday was last Friday, the sixth, and that was really difficult to get through. I've cried at least once a day since then, but I'm still pushing forward. I hate to say I think I will pause all action on She Will Be Loved and Another One Bites the Dust: A Sam Story. I just can't take all of that right now.
Enjoy this chapter, sorry about the length.
Disclaimer-I don't own Twlight.
Bella's POV
I blinked and looked around hazily. Everything seemed sluggish, as if my brain was frozen. I felt really tired and somewhat….lost. I mean, I saw my surroundings. I just felt….out of place. I saw my mom sprawled out on the hospital couch. She snored softly and I felt a tired smile seep across my face. Then I saw Marie in the armchair in the corner of the room.
"Marie!" I hissed, "Marie!"
She opened her eyes, then darted over to my side.
"Bella!" she exclaimed. "You're awake! Finally!"
"How long was I out this time?"
"Urm…about two days."
"Really?" I was genuinely shocked. Then I grinned. "New record! Heck yeah!" I exclaimed, holding my hand up for a high five. Her hand tapped mine gently, and her smile was weak.
"Marie," I said softly, making my face more serious, "What's wrong?"
She looked away. The expression on her face made me feel perplexed. Guilt? That wasn't right, I don't think. I honestly wasn't sure though, my memory was absolutely shot. She looked up to the ceiling then, blinking back tears.
"I miss him so much," she whispered hoarsely. At that moment, my doctor chose to make his appearance. He glanced at Marie meaningfully, then looked me over, grabbing my chart and flipping it up gracefully.
"Hello Miss Swan," he said in a voice as sweet as honey. Then I actually looked at him. He was tall, a little lanky, and had longish, carefully controlled blonde hair. His eyes were a beautiful honey color that matched his voice and looked oddly like Marie's. Well, of course stupid, I thought. Marie doesn't have a monopoly on golden eyes. Jeez.
"How are you feeling?" The doctor continued.
I cleared my throat. "I'm feeling…tired." I said sheepishly. He laughed, a sweet, tinkling sound. As he bent over to read a machine and refill the IV, I saw his nametag. Dr. Cullen, it said. Cullen? I wondered. It sounded oddly familiar. Oddly, suspiciously familiar.
"Well Isabella," he said, "you've been out for quite some time. Are you doing okay?" he asked in a gentle voice.
I looked at him, my eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just tired, like I said earlier."
He chuckled softly. "I didn't mean physically, I meant dealing with your brother's death. Would you like to talk to someone about it?"
The look on my face got even funnier. "Um, sir? I don't have a brother. And he didn't die, because he didn't exist. You must have me confused with someone else."
He gave me a shocked look, then recovered slightly. "Isabella, you did have a brother. His name was Blake Michael Swan. Don't you remember?"
I thought hard. Blake Michael Swan. It seemed to be pulling something from my mind, I just couldn't tug hard enough. "No sir, I don't."
His face relaxed. "Okay sweetheart. This is a natural occurrence. Your mind just went into self-preservation mode. You'll remember soon enough. Just rest up and I'll be back to check on you in," he paused to glance down at his watch, "about another hour." He then turned to Marie. "Can I speak with you in the hall please?" She nodded and followed him out of the door as he headed out, smoothly dropping my chart in place first. I wondered what that was all about. I heard soft murmuring outside of my door. I couldn't seem to make it out though. I went back to my confusing thoughts of earlier. Cullen. Where had I heard that word…name? Was it a car brand? A type of dessert? A pure coincidence? I was just hurting my head, so I closed my eyes and dozed. All the while, my brain was working frantically.
Blake? Cullen? Marie? How could they all be connected? How could I have a BROTHER and not know? Did my mom know? Of course my mom knew. What about my dad? Did he know? Was my brother older or younger than me? Did this "said brother" even exist? What was he like? Why did he die? How did he die?
My brain sought the answers for these questions, drawing up a blank for each. I gave up and let the medicine to it's job, sinking back into the pillows on my bed. Before I fell asleep I realized Marie still wasn't back yet.
I promise the story will pick up soon. No, I don't promise. I solemnly swear. –grins- Visit my homepage. I update that just about once a day. At least once a day. There are pics of Ben and my cat and Kodiak and…random crap. My blog has become my life. Don't forget to review. Reviews make my day better. A lot better.
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Spack