Disclaimer: All rights reserved for CBS.
A/n: So, this was supposed to be the last chapter, but as it was already late, and I still wanted to add a bit, I decided to do one more chapter, more of an epilogue than anything else, but, hey, at least it will give me an even 20 chapters. :D:D I hope this lives up to the build up. Enjoy.
Chapter 19
Through narrowed brown eyes, Sara watched the well coifed woman look her up and down, a disdainful look on her face betraying the fact that she found the sight before her distasteful.
"Can I help you?" she repeated.
Sara licked her lips, straightened and looked Laura in the eyes. "You honestly don't recognize me, do you?"
Laura squinted at the tall woman in front of her. The brown hair that was a riot of curls, the brown eyes that looked back at her steadfastly seemed familiar, but she couldn't place her. Then the woman gave a bitter, gap tooth smile, and Laura was transported back nearly twenty-five years.
At Laura's quickly indrawn breath, Sara knew it had finally clicked. "That's right, mother, your past has caught up with you."
Laura's bout of speechlessness quickly abated and she regained her composure. "Sara," she said, looking her over once again.
Sara stood proudly, refusing to cower. Sure, she wasn't dressed in haute couture, but she wasn't a slouch, either, and her dark blue jeans teamed with a spaghetti strapped top in varying shades of blue were perfectly acceptable. And, so what if her hair hadn't been blown straight, and instead left to curl of its own accord. Grissom had often said he liked it when she let it dry naturally and he could play with the curls.
Laura, unaware of her daughter's meanderings, kept talking. "What are you doing here?" She hadn't given a second thought to the girl who'd chosen foster care over her mother's loving arms. No, Laura had been quite happy to leave that life behind her, and she wasn't happy to have it rear its ugly head now that her life was going the way she wanted it to.
"You know why I'm here, mother," Sara said quietly.
Laura shook her head. "I'm sorry, dear, but I can't think of any reason for you to suddenly show up."
Sara laughed. "Of course you can't. And, you know, there was a time when seeing you again was the last thing I wanted."
"So, what's happened to change your mind?" Laura glanced around; making sure no one was watching them.
"A woman named Natalie happened," Sara answered, honestly.
"Oh good God!" Laura blurted, her voice hushed. "You didn't come here to tell me you were involved in some…" she broke off and looked around, "lesbian relationship?" she whispered.
Sara rolled her eyes. "No, mother, my big reason for seeking you out isn't to come out of the closet." Sara shook her head. "What in the world would be the purpose of that?"
"I don't know, do I? You said you were here because of a woman." Laura shifted her stance, nudging the dog away from the foot it had been sniffing.
"Yes, a woman, Natalie Davis, is the reason I'm here. Her actions led me to realize that I had to confront some issues from my past."
Laura studied her for a moment, looking past the retail clothing and the makeup free face. She saw a strong woman standing before her. A woman that wouldn't back down from what she had to do. "How did this woman get to you?"
Sara looked around. "Um, why don't we go somewhere a bit more private?"
Laura thought furiously. The options didn't look good. Either talk here in the street, or take Sara back to her home, her haven.
Sara gave a disgusted sigh, "Fine, why don't we talk about the day you killed my father right here?"
Sara gazed around the luxurious living room as she waited for Laura to join her. She'd nearly dragged Sara back to her apartment as soon as Sara had mentioned her father.
The house had a very modern feel, which surprised Sara. Laura had always preferred a more antique style of décor, but it would seem she'd changed, at least in that respect.
Sara looked up at a noise from the door.
Laura stood there, studying her.
Sara met her eyes and waited for her to say something.
"You're tall," was Laura's opening gambit.
Sara blinked. "You're a killer." She wasn't about to let her mother skirt the issue.
Laura's face contorted. "Not in the eyes of the law," she said her tone low and measured.
Sara stood and faced her. "A jury may have found you not guilty due to the malicious story you spun them, but I know what happened," she said, walking toward her mother.
"What does it matter what you believe. You were a scared little girl who let her imagination run away with her." Laura's eyes began to glitter with manufactured tears. "I kept what your father did to me a secret; you couldn't have known what was going on. In the end, I had to do what I did, not only for myself, but for you."
Sara's lips curved in a small, sad smile. "Wow, and I thought I'd heard some doozies in my time. Killers hardly ever cop to what they've done right off, but I can't remember ever hearing such drivel." She turned and walked across the room. "I have a-a very good memory; it comes in handy in my business, and I assure you that I can remember, in great detail, what life was like when I was a child. How can you honestly expect me to believe your version of events? I, who saw the many times dad had to got to the hospital after a private conference with you, after seeing the way you treated him, and how he took it all."
"You never saw me hurt your father." Laura insisted.
Sara crossed her arms and stared at her mother. "No- no I never saw you physically lay your hands on him. All I ever saw was the aftermath, and the way you treated him, with verbal abuse and constant castigation." Sara inhaled deeply. "You know, I've spent the last twenty… twenty four years being angry and scared. Angry that you treated us like crap, angry that I was stuck with you as a mother, but there is one thing I never realized I was angry about, I was angry at dad, angry that he let you treat him the way you did, that he didn't put up a better fight. I was scared. I was so scared of turning out like you. Everything I did, I did to prove that we were nothing alike. That I would never treat someone I loved so cruelly. But… but those feelings always colored my life. They played parts in the career I chose, the way I dealt with the situations in that career, even my relationships. And you know, I probably would never have allowed myself to analyze those feelings. I actually had- have a pretty wonderful life. A career, that while it can be emotionally exhausting and sometimes seem to be a lost cause, is actually very fulfilling, and it led me to great friendships. And then Natalie came along." Sara had been pacing, but now she stopped at a window and stared outside.
"What does this Natalie have to do with anything?" Laura asked, confused.
Sara turned to look at her. "Natalie? Why she has to do with everything." She turned and began walking back towards her mother. "You haven't asked what my career is, aren't you interested?"
From the look on Laura's face, Sara knew she could care less, but her words said otherwise.
"Yes, what do you do?" she asked hesitantly.
"I'm a criminalist. I go to scenes of thefts, suicides, assaults, murders, whatever needs to be investigated. I know how to determine how someone was killed, who did it, and why. I've lived in Las Vegas for the last eight years and I've seen some truly gruesome things. Sure, cases involving abuse would get to me a little more than others, but for the most part I dealt with it pretty well." Sara turned and sat on the couch. "Last year during an investigation of a series of murders, the killer took a personal dislike to by boss, who also happens to be the man I love. We had kept our relationship a secret from our department, as it was against the rules to date someone on your team, but somehow the killer found out about us. See, earlier we had thought we'd found the miniature killer, the name given to this particular killer, and that man killed himself, leading us to believe that we had been right… but we weren't and he wasn't. The killer was his foster daughter, Natalie. Natalie blamed Grissom, my boss and lover, for her 'father's' death and decided to get revenge. She tazed me, bound me and put me in a trunk and drove off to complete her latest miniature. She made miniatures of all the crime scenes and left them at them at the scene. I tried to escape, but it didn't work and I ended up trapped under a car in the middle of the desert, my arm pinned by the car." Sara rubbed her arm, remembering the pain. "Anyway, she left, and soon a storm came up. As I lay trapped under that car I realized that there was something else I was scared of. I realized that I feared being like my father, and letting myself be hurt by someone else. I had always known that I didn't want to be like you, but under that car it was dad I thought of."
"Well, it looks like you were rescued." Laura pointed out.
Sara gave a sad smile. "Yes, I managed to survive a flash flood, pulling myself from under the car, and I wondered the desert trying to make it back to civilization, barely making it. A friend, a member of my team found me, but after that I was off kilter. The axis of right and wrong had shifted. I found myself getting angry at small things, blowing up at the people who care about me. I felt like I had allowed someone to hurt me, and that threw me to the other side of the spectrum. I wanted to hit something, which is what I had always been afraid of," she looked at Laura. "To be like you." She stood up restlessly. "I tried to make it through. I moved to swing shift because now that everyone knew about Grissom and me, we couldn't work together anymore. We got engaged," she fingered the ring around her finger. "And I was happy about that, but it didn't take long for something else to irritate me, and then along came a case that was too much. A case that ended in suicide and I realized that I felt nothing. Not for the boy who killed himself, and not for his sister who had driven him to it, though she's still just a child. I realized that I had to confront my past. So, I started this journey to do just that. I've made peace with dad. I know now that he was a gentle soul, and he did what he did to protect us kids." She turned and walked over to Laura. "But I knew I had to confront you, too. I don't want to be angry anymore. I want to be with the man I love and not worry about one day breaking and doing something to him. I have realized something. I am nothing like you."
"Well, good, now you can go on with your life, and I can go on with mine." She started towards the door.
Sara stayed where she was. "No, I don't think so. You have to pay, in some way, for what you did."
Laura turned around and looked at her. "I don't understand. I was found not guilty, and I can't be tried for the same crime again, I believe its called double jeopardy."
"Oh, you're quite right about that, but that doesn't mean you can't pay for it. You killed my father, and you did it with such coldness. That's what I felt during that last case I worked; coldness towards everyone involved." Sara started forward. "I don't feel cold now."
Laura watched her, a scowl on her face. "And how do you mean to make me… pay?"
Sara smiled. "For one thing, I'm going to do something I never thought I'd do. I'm going to forgive you. Not for you, but because it's what I need to do."
Laura's face relaxed.
"But, I can't let you get away scott free." Sara stood in front of her.
Suddenly, a noise came from the foyer. Laura looked up and jerked back. "Ex-excuse me," she murmured. She walked quickly toward the door and Sara watched her.
Muffled voices drifted from the other room and Sara decided she might as well get this over with. She wasn't here to play nice and Laura had to know that. She walked to the door and watched as Laura tried to get an older gentleman to leave.
He just smiled and leaned into kiss her. "Darling, why are you acting so odd?" He turned around and opened his briefcase. "I have a surprise for you." He turned around and handed her a gift box. "Go on, open it."
Laura stared at him, not sure what do say. Finally, she opened the box. Inside was a diamond broach. "Oh, Jerry, it's beautiful!"
"I thought you'd like it." He smiled and took the box from her, taking the broach out of it. "Here, let's try it on." He deftly pinned it to her blouse and stood back to look at it. "Ah, exquisite," he murmured.
Laura's face deepened in color and she looked flustered. "Wh-what are you doing home so early?" she asked, fingering the broach.
"Well, the trial recessed and I thought, what better way to spend the unexpected down time then with my beautiful bride?" He took both her hands in his and kissed them. "What do you say we indulge in a little afternoon delight?"
Sara cleared her throat. "I really don't think that would be very hospitable of her."
Both people jerked around and had very different reactions.
Laura looked stricken, whereas her husband, Jerold, looked confused.
"Laura, who is this?" he asked.
"Um, Jerold, you, uh, you remember my daughter, Sara, don't you?" Laura turned to Sara.
"Sara, you may remember Jerold, he was my, uh, lawyer, back when…" she trailed off.
Jerold's eyes widened. "Why, yes, I do remember her." He came forward with his hand extended. "It's nice to see you again." He smiled.
Sara took his hand, but didn't return the smile. "I realize you maybe planned, uh, something different for this afternoon, but if it's okay with you, mom and I have some catching up to do."
"Ah, right, I completely understand." He turned to Laura. "Darling, I'll take myself out for a late lunch so you and Sara can catch up." He leaned forward, kissed her on the cheek and before she could protest, he was out the door.
"So, have you started hitting him yet?" Sara asked before she turned and walked back into the living room.
Laura charged in after her. "How dare you!" she hissed.
Sara turned to her, unfazed. "I'm sorry, was that hitting too close to the truth? I've already told you why I'm here. You killed my father, and you never showed one ounce of remorse for it."
Laura stared at her, lost for words.
What's wrong, mother? Cat got your tongue?" Sara asked, eyeing Laura thoughtfully.
Laura stared at her for a minute. Nothing she could say would convince Sara that she was sorry for what happened. She sighed and sat down in a chair. "What do you want to hear? I was a terrible wife and mother. I don't think I was meant to be a mother in the first place." She looked at Sara, her eyes dry, but weary. "I met your father at a time when everyone was about free love. He was a nice guy, handsome, and I just wanted to get away from…well, it turns out I was more like my mother than I thought. You never met your grandmother, we told you she had died, but the truth is when I left home at nineteen, I left behind a woman who was the epitome of evil. I really thought that once I moved out and your father and I opened our little Inn by the sea that that would all be behind me. And things were fine for a couple of years. Your brother was born and at first I was happy, but then I started getting mad at little things, and allowing myself to blow up, just like my mother. Years went by, and I was struggling with anger and I didn't know where it came from. We decided to have another child, and we had you. Things just got worse after that. I felt angry all the time, and the angrier I got, the more your father pulled away. Then one day during an argument, I hit him." She sighed and looked at Sara. "He left me, but he came back and I tried not to be so angry, but, well, you know what happened. Then that night… I was SO angry. Angry at you, angry that I felt like I was being just like my mother, and angry that I couldn't stop it…" Laura stared at her hands, turning them over and flexing her fingers. "That night, I- I hadn't planned on killing your father. We were in the kitchen and he was actually standing up to me, fighting back and I didn't expect that. He came at me, tried to choke me…" her own hand lifted to her neck. "I grabbed the knife and, well, the next thing I knew, I was stabbing him, then it was over and that girl, your friend, was there. Things seemed to go in fast forward after that."
Sara watched her, unsure of what to believe. Her mother was a master manipulator. Some of what she said made sense, but some things didn't fit. "But, what about the witnesses? You made sure that everyone thought dad was beating you, how can you now claim that you didn't like what you were doing?"
Laura sighed. "I was sick, Sara. I did a lot of things that I'm not proud of. After the trial I continued the bad behavior. I had one sexual relationship after another, treating those guys just like I'd treated your dad. Finally, I decided I had to get help. I sold the Inn, it was too painful to be there anymore, I moved to the city and started therapy. I learned that I was most likely the victim of postpartum depression; also I'd had negative influences growing up. I've worked hard over the years to fix myself. Jerold has been my friend for many years. He's always made it clear that there was nothing he'd like more than to be with me, but I was so scared of what would happen if I gave in. He finally wore me down. I'm a lot more peaceful these days. I've been honest with him, told him of my problems, and he knows exactly what happened with your father, I wanted him to go into this marriage with open eyes."
Sara shook her head. "Then why did you treat me the way you did when I first showed up?"
"I-uh, sometimes I fall back into old defensive patterns. Seeing you threw me off. I'm sorry I treated you like I did."
Sara studied her. She was still unconvinced. She turned toward the window and gazed out. Maybe she was being honest.
Laura cleared her throat and asked. "So, you and this man you're engaged to, have you talked about children?"
Sara turned, confused with the change of subject. "It hasn't really come up," she said, staring at her mother speculatively. "Why?"
Laura turned away. "It's just that… well, this particular sickness seems to run in the family, my mother, me, I don't know about my grandmother, she died before I was born, but I think you should think long and hard before you decide to have children, since that seems to be the catalyst. I know you're afraid of turning into what I was."
Sara stared with dawning realization. "You almost had me," she said, walking forward. "I almost believed you."
Laura turned. "What do you mean?"
"You just couldn't resist taking the opportunity to feed my fear. I told you I'm scared of turning out like you, and here you are telling me that I will, if I decide to have children."
Laura shook her head. "That's not what I meant at all."
"Then why did you bring it up?"
"You never could just leave things alone, could you?" Laura asked with a bitter smile.
"No, that 's what makes me a good criminalist." Sara watched her mother, feeling sad.
"You know, I think you've punished yourself more than I ever could." Sara walked towards the door. "I don't even want to see you anymore, but don't think you're getting away with anything. I'll keep in touch with Jerold, I have friends in high places, and if I hear one thing, from him, or someone else, about anything you've done, you can bet I'll be on you like white on rice." Sara turned and walked out of the room, and out of her mother's life for what she hoped was the last time."
TBC…