Chapter 4: Special rules should be applied.
There was a kind of going away party in the commissary just before we shipped out to the Daedalus. John was across the room laughing with his buddies and I smiled to see him so happy. I was just about to go and join him when I spied Doctor Jackson arriving. I glanced at John and noticed he too had seen Daniel arrive – when I raised an eyebrow to him in silent question he grinned and waved a hand vaguely in Daniel's direction. I didn't need John's permission to talk to Daniel but at the same time I didn't want our last few hours on Earth to be uncomfortable over something that wasn't really that important.
"Doctor Jackson," I waved as Daniel looked around the room, seeming to search for something. When he saw me waving he smiled and made his way straight over to me.
"Sabina," he greeted me. "Enjoying the party?"
"Not especially," I admitted. "I'm not really the party type – you?"
"I usually come to these things with the rest of SG1," Daniel said almost sadly. I'd heard lots of stories about the infamous team and wondered where the rest of them were. "Sam got transferred to Area 51, Jack got promoted to the Pentagon and Teal'c's off with the newly formed Free Jaffa nation," Daniel explained before I could ask.
"So you're left here by yourself?" I asked.
"Yeah, but not for long," Daniel said. "I finally got Jack – General O'Neill – to agree to my transfer to Atlantis. The next time the Daedalus makes it back to Earth I'll be joining the trip back to Atlantis."
"That's great!" I said delightedly. Before I could say anything else I heard my name mentioned from somewhere behind me. I glanced around and saw a shortish, balding, middle aged man with glasses talkng to Doctor Weir – neither of them noticed me standing within hearing distance.
"It's unprofessional," the man insisted. "Colonel Sheppard's motives need to be above reproach."
I shook my head silently when Daniel looked like he was going to intervene. I wanted to hear what Doctor Weir was going to say about the little man's comment.
"Are you saying you don't think the Colonel should be allowed to have any relationships?" Doctor Weirs tone was incredulous.
"Non fraternisation regulations are there to ensure that military leaders don't play favourites or let personal feelings cloud their judgement," the man persisted.
"The military does allow their personnel to have families Mr Woolsey," Doctor Weir pointed out. "Sabina has no connection to the military – the fraternisation regulations clearly don't apply to the Colonel's relationship with her."
"The military doesn't usually let families live with their officers right in the middle of a war zone!" Woolsey pointed out. "This situation is unique and special rules should be applied to it."
"I think the Colonel and Sabina have both already demonstrated that they'll put the good of Atlantis ahead of their own concerns," Doctor Weir stated strongly. "And the powers that be – both military and civilian oversight – agreed with my assessment that additional regulations were not required specifically for Atlantis. We're a long way from Earth," Doctor Weir tried to appeal to Woolsey's compassionate side. "Atlantis is as much a home as it is a military base and the connections staff feel for each other are what keep them going."
"Maybe," Woolsey conceded. "But the IOC will be monitoring this situation closely to ensure it doesn't become a problem in the future."
They moved away, taking their conversation with them. I stood beside Daniel, trying to understand the implications of what we'd overheard.
"Are you okay?" Daniel asked softly.
"Yeah," I nodded distractedly. "Doesn't even surprise me."
"Don't let Woolsey spoil what you have with the Colonel," Daniel advised. "Life's is too short – believe me I know."
"Thanks Daniel," I smiled. I glanced across at John and noticed he was looking at me too – he tapped his watch to show me he hadn't forgotten that I'd only wanted to spend a short time at the party. I nodded gratefully and turned back to make my farewells to Daniel. "I'll look forward to you arriving on Atlantis," I said. "Look me up when you get there." Shaking the hand he held out, I then gratefully made my way back to John and our escape from the SGC for our last night on Earth.
Once in bed that night I couldn't put what I'd overheard out of my mind. I knew that John had questioned his decisions in the past because of me – now that he'd been promoted and sanctioned to officially be in charge on Atlantis he needed even more to be sure of his motivations. I resolved that I wouldn't put him in that kind of position again, nor give the IOC any cause to reprimand him on my account. I also decided there was no point in telling John what I'd overheard – it was bad enough that the military would be able to look over his shoulder now we had a ZPM; he didn't need to feel like the IOC were monitoring him too.
Even though I'd been so reluctant to leave Atlantis, by the time our visit was over I was glad John had talked me into it. Aside from the fact that I'd been made an official member of the expedition and John had been promoted, the time together on Earth had made us realise that although we missed it, Earth was no longer our home.
Although I'd decided not to tell John about the comments made by Woolsey, they did prompt me to have another, difficult conversation with him just before we left for the Daedalus.
"I think we should be discrete while we're on the ship," I dropped that comment out of the blue when John was helping me pack up my temporary quarters at the SCG early the next morning.
"Discrete how?" John didn't give me his full attention, distracted by the large number of books I wanted to take with me that were clearly not all going to fit within my allocated space allowance.
"You know," I said uncomfortably. "Not make it obvious that we're ... together."
"Why would we want to do that?" John pinned me with a sharp gaze. I definitely had his attention now.
"It's a small ship and people will talk." Pretty lame as a starting argument, but it was all I could come up with.
"People always talk," John pointed out. "Whether it starts on the Daedalus or back on Atlantis is immaterial."
"Yeah but all the new staff will have had almost three weeks to get to know you as the military commander before we get to Atlantis," I replied. "It they only see you in a professional capacity then they'll respect you before they find out anything else that's worth gossiping about."
"Wait a minute," John dropped the book he'd been packing and strode over to where I was kneeling beside the bed covered with the things I'd bought while there to take back to Atlantis. "Are you suggesting that if people know I'm involved with you before they know me as the military commander they won't respect me? That makes no sense at all."
"Yes it does," I insisted. "People need to know that you'll make military decisions without prejudice or favouritism. They'll see that more easily if they aren't confronted with a big reason why you might not do that!"
"You do realise that some of the new people will have already been filled in on every piece of juicy Atlantis gossip before they even set foot on the Daedalus?" John sat on the bed to bring himself down to my level, not caring that he was squashing the clothes I'd carefully folded.
"Maybe," I conceded. "But I don't think that would necessarily include us – we didn't spend much public time together during our stay here and the only people who know about our relationship enough to spread the news aren't the type to gossip."
"You didn't seem to think it was a problem the whole time we've been here at the SCG," John pointed out the illogical nature of what I was asking.
"Because I didn't really think about it before," I admitted. "Most of the Daedalus crew and new personnel have been busy getting ready for the trip back to Atlantis – I only thought of it at the party when I saw everyone together in the same room."
"So let me get this straight," John put a hand on my shoulder to draw my eyes to his. "You want to pretend that we're nothing to each other for twenty days while we're stuck on a tiny ship together?"
"Not nothing," I denied. "We're friends and I don't think we could pretend otherwise."
"We're much more than friends," John ran his hand from my shoulder down my arm in a slow caress, making me shudder despite my attempt to not react. "I don't think either of us is capable of pretending otherwise."
"Do you think people will take me seriously if they see me sneaking out of your quarters in the early hours of the morning?" I redirected the conversation. I had been trying to get John to see that the first days of his new command were important and that he needed to set the right first impression with his staff. Since my concern for him wasn't getting me anywhere I decided that getting him to think I was concerned for myself might work better.
"As soon as they work with you they'll take you seriously," John said with absolute faith in my abilities. "And they wouldn't have to see you sneaking anywhere if we shared quarters," John smiled at the surprised look on my face.
"Do they have double quarters on the Daedalus?" I asked, momentarily distracted by the thought.
"Probably not," John admitted. "But I could request something that would suit the two of us."
"And that wouldn't be favouritism at all would it?" I pointed out. "Besides, I know we did the whole ... sharing our feelings thing but I don't think that makes either of us ready to live together for a month."
"So you don't want to move in with me?" John frowned, absently drawing circular patterns on the top of my hand.
"I didn't say that," my frustration was apparent in the tone of my voice. "We haven't been together that long and I think we need to get to know each other better before we get subjected to each other's annoying habits."
"Annoying habits?" John raised an eyebrow in mock surprise. "I don't have any annoying habits!"
"Okay, you're perfect," I said snidely. "I want more time together before you find out about my annoying habits! Now stop trying to distract me – I want you to agree that we'll down play our relationship while we're on the Daedalus."
"This is important to you?" John asked in all seriousness.
"Yes it's important to me," I held eye contact with him, watching silently as he seemed to think on the options.
"Okay," he agreed reluctantly. "We'll refrain from doing anything we'd need private quarters for while we're on the Daedalus. But I'm not gonna pretend you're unimportant to me, and I can't promise I won't give something away in the heat of the moment. And as soon as we're back on Atlantis the agreement is off."
"Okay," I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him close. I'd never really seen the allure of hugging just for the sake of it before, but hugging John was a whole different experience. He seemed to exude a comforting heat that warmed me through and made me feel safe.
"If I'm not getting any for the next month I need to stock up now," John had me stretched out under him before I could blink.
"Hey, you're messing up the stuff I was packing," I made the pretence of protesting because we both knew he hardly had to lay a hand on me before I wanted a whole lot more.
"We'll pack later," John growled, kissing me deeply. He ran his hands down my body, pushing things off the bed as he went.
"Bu..." I tried to say something but forgot completely what it was when John used the hands he'd insinuated into my pants to pull me against him just where I wanted him the most.
"Stop talking," John ordered sternly, breaking our kiss so he could look properly into my eyes. He moved his whole body against mine, setting off a host of electric jolts throughout my body. I know my eyes went all dazed and soft by the smug predatory look I saw in his. I lifted my hips and wrapped a leg around his, twisting suddenly to flip our positions. I laughed in delight at the dazed look in John's eyes when I straddled him, pinning his arms at his sides.
"Now I've got you just where I want you," I teased, both of us knowing he could break my hold whenever he wanted.
"And what are you going to do with me?" he drawled the challenge, clearly enjoying our role reversal.
It took so long to answer that we were almost late heading out to the Daedalus!