Chapter 7: You know how to use these?

"I can't believe that guy," John complained as he readied himself for a mission to P3M-736 in the hopes of finding Lieutenant Ford.

"What guy?" I asked in confusion.

"Caldwell," John said hotly. "He thinks there's nothing Beckett can do for Ford – said Aiden's a security risk and insinuated I should have no trouble with a mercy kill since I'd already done the same for Colonel Sumner."

I knew that John often thought about what he'd done to Colonel Sumner and that inevitably that led him to thoughts of guilt over waking the Wraith. There was nothing any of us could say to excuse him from feeling that way when he'd yet to reconcile the situation within himself. John wasn't exactly an introspective person and I held little hope that he'd ever fully deal with the emotions he felt over what happened his first week on Atlantis. His motto seemed to be "what doesn't kill you only gives you more stuff to bury at the back of your mind". As a consequence there were very few people on Atlantis who knew that John was even bothered by indirectly being responsible for the mass cullings that were now a common event.

"Did Doctor Beckett say Lieutenant Ford was beyond cure?" I cut to the heart of John's current frustrations.

"Not exactly," John admitted. "But he said it would be difficult and that maybe Ford was too far gone on the enzyme to go through withdrawal." John checked his watch, getting up quickly when he saw it was almost time for him to leave. "I've gotta go," he pointed out the obvious. "Stay out of trouble while I'm gone."

"Too easy," I smiled as he approached me for the usual goodbye hug and kiss. "Good luck," I said softly as he walked away.

It had always been hard to be the one left behind, even before we got our act together as a couple. I always tried to stick to the normal routine when John was on a mission, which meant a morning run by myself followed by a sparring session with whoever was around and willing. Stopping off at my quarters to grab my fighting sticks I made my way silently to the sparring room. Just before I got to the door I overheard a conversation going on inside.

"She's only here because she's doing the boss," a snide voice remarked cruelly.

"I heard General Landry was gonna throw her in the brig back on Earth before Colonel Sheppard intervened," another voice replied gleefully.

"But she took out two Hive ships with the Dakara weapon," a third voice remarked, sounding almost a defence against the other two.

"So she says," the first voice returned. "No one saw her activating that machine ... could've been accidental – she might not have had anything to do with it at all."

The conversation paused as the sounds of sparring issued from the room. I leant numbly against the wall sickly thinking how it was true – you never did hear anything good about yourself while eavesdropping. The only question now was what should I do about it? I could just walk away, ignore it ... I was sure that's what John would have advised. But I didn't want to. Taking a deep calming breath I turned and strode briskly into the room.

"Anyone interested in sparring?" I asked amicably, glancing at each occupant in the room. I didn't recognise any of them apart from the vague knowledge that they were all new recruits to Atlantis.

"I'll take you on," one of the men smiled smugly at the other two, no doubt looking forward to proving how useless I was.

Deciding he must have been the one who'd cast the first doubt on my abilities, I dubbed him Mr Smug. His mate was Sheep because he was clearly just a follower. I decided to reserve judgement on the third guy until I'd seen how he reacted to my being there.

"You know how to use these?" I pulled a spare set of sticks from my bag and held them out.

"I'll work it out," he replied, taking the sticks and swinging them quickly in each hand to get a feel for their weight. Mr Smug had clearly had some experience with that type of weapon before – rather than worry me that knowledge made me smile in anticipation. It was always more fun to beat someone who had some skill, after all. I did a very quick warm up and then made my way to the centre of the room.

"Ready?" I asked casually.

"Yeah," Mr Smug replied, looking ... well smug!

Before I'd even taken up a fighting stance he leapt at me, swinging one stick towards my neck and the other at shoulder height. I blocked him easily, stepping into his space and taking advantage of his forward momentum to propel him rapidly toward the wall. He stumbled but didn't fall ... regaining a steady footing he made his way back towards me with narrowed eyes.

"Come on Brett," Sheep urged, while his companion remained silent.

Mr Smug attacked again, being much more careful with his defensive moves. I let him take the offensive, rapidly blocking each attempted hit as I assessed his skill level. He was good but overconfident and too inclined to rely on his superior bulk. Deciding on the best way to use that against him I shifted the mood of the fight, upping the speed and taking any opportunity to get in a hit if it was there.

Mr Smug held his own, blocking most of my hits – the ones that did get through had enough force to hurt but he didn't let on that he felt anything. I was moving around him rapidly now, working him hard hoping to tire him.

We battled silently for twenty minutes - I could see Mr Smug was getting impatient to finish me off, even though he'd yet to lay a single blow on me. He rushed me suddenly, trying to back me into the wall. I ducked low and swung a stick at his ankles, sending him crashing into the wall, fighting sticks flying across the room to land near our audience.

Almost growling in anger he turned quickly and rushed me again – this time I stepped to the side at the last moment, grabbing his arm and using his momentum to flip him. He landed heavily on his stomach – I leapt forward, putting a stick across his throat from behind and pulling up hard. With my knee pressed firmly into his back there was no way he could move.

"Do you yield?" I asked quietly. He was panting with exertion while I gave no indication I'd been fighting.

He turned his head and glared at me mutinously, trying to lever himself away. I increased the force of my stick at his throat, watching calmly as he struggled to breathe.

"I can do this all day," I commented cheerfully, leaning down hard with my knee. He groaned in pain but still held out for a few moments more before slumping down in defeat.

"I yield," he mumbled. I let go of him immediately, stepping back and giving him room to get up.

"Watch out," the third and so far silent member of the group called out. My back had been to Sheep so I didn't sense his movement towards me until he'd gotten close enough to take a swing at me. I turned just in time to get one of Mr Smug's discarded sticks in the face. I took the hit silently, turning my head with the blow to lessen the impact. Launching an angry kick straight at Sheep's stomach I took great delight in watching silently as he doubled over, moaning and gasping for breath.

"Do you want a go?" I asked the third guy aggressively.

"Hey, I warned you, remember?" he protested, holding up a hand to placate me.

"Sorry," I mumbled, turning away from the three of them, putting a hand to my cheek as the pain of that hit finally registered.

"You okay?" the third guy asked.

"Yeah," I said grumpily. "Who are you guys anyway?"

"I'm Josh Smart," the third guy introduced himself. "Those two are Brett Stokes," he pointed to Mr Smug, "and Dave Cornish," he gestured to Sheep. "We're all Marine Privates - shipped in on the Daedalus with you and Colonel Sheppard."

"Thanks for the warning," I told Josh. Turning I watched calmly as Stokes and Cornish got to their feet.

"I suppose you're gonna go run to your boyfriend and report us now," Stokes almost sulked at me.

"Well I could do that," I acknowledged. "Talking about people behind their backs isn't a nice thing to do. Maybe I could just mention how ... hurt ... I was about what you said. If I mentioned it to Colonel Sheppard though he'd probably just give you clean up duty and what's the fun in that? Now Teyla on the other hand ... " I left it to their imaginations, knowing that Teyla's reputation for fighting was legendary in Atlantis.

"I'm ... ah ... I'm sorry about what I said," Stokes looked at the floor before looking back at me. I maintained my glance with him for a few moments and when he didn't look away I nodded silently.

"It's cool – you don't know me so ..." I let him off. "You were a worthy opponent so if you wanted to spar again sometime ..." He nodded silently.

"As for you," I looked at Cornish. "Attacking someone when their back is turned is dishonourable and unworthy of a Marine."

"I'm sorry too," Cornish muttered, looking ashamed.

"I let my guard down," I admitted. "The Wraith have no honour – they wouldn't hesitate to shoot someone in the back. This," I gestured up to my aching cheek, "will remind me to pay attention next time."

"Colonel Sheppard's gonna want to know how you got the bruise," Josh pointed out helpfully.

"Probably," I acknowledged reluctantly. "This kind of thing happens in training all the time though so don't worry about it. While I'd love to stay and chat," I said, gathering up my gear, "I need some ice. It was ... nice ... meeting you all."

With that I turned and left the room, vowing I'd never try to eavesdrop again.

John's team wasn't due back for a while yet so after icing my cheek I finally made it to my lab to begin my days work.

It really was hard to be the one going about the normal routine instead of going off doing something exciting on another planet. That was never more the case than when team Sheppard failed to check in or turn up on time (which was practically all the time!). John's current mission proved no different – this time it was one of the new military team leaders, Major Lorne, who reported in that they'd lost contact with John and Teyla. I did the usual pacing, worrying and waiting to hear something.

John had been missing overnight and into the next morning before he finally checked in to request Doctor Beckett come and operate on someone they'd met on the planet.

I could easily have 'just happened to be' in the infirmary so I could find out what was going on but I decided not to. I had to start trusting that John would be okay and anyway ... what good was knowing he was in trouble if I was stuck on Atlantis with no way to help him?

Eventually, as always seemed to be the case (please God let their good luck continue!) John, Teyla and Rodney returned through the gate. As part of my new 'nonchalance' with John's off world missions I didn't go running to the Gateroom - I knew they came through okay and John didn't need to see how worried I got while he was away from Atlantis. John ended up dropping by the lab to find me instead ... which was kind of nice.

"You're back!" I said like I didn't already know that before he'd turned up at my door.

"Yeah," John absently picked up a gadget and then hastily put it down when it lit up at his touch.

"You okay?" I turned away from my laptop to give John my full attention. I noticed straight away the troubled expression on his face. "Did you find Lieutenant Ford?

"Yes and yes," John responded. He walked over to the window and looked out across the ocean. I waited patiently for him to continue. "I tried to get him to trust me ... told him I wasn't letting him off that planet unless he came back to Atlantis. Hell, I even shot him for real this time!"

"Did you ...?" I couldn't finish the sentence but he knew what I was asking.

"Didn't even make a dent," John said grimly. "He ran into a Wraith culling beam deliberately to get away from me!"

"He's not himself," I reminded John what Doctor Beckett had said – that Aiden was driven by the same impulses as any drug addict. "You had no way of knowing what lengths he'd go to avoid capture."

"Tell that to Colonel Caldwell," John muttered half under his breath.

"I take it he's not impressed that Aiden is still at large?" I was really starting to dislike that man! I didn't make the mistake of asking if it mattered what Colonel Caldwell thought – even though John didn't have to report to him, Caldwell would no doubt be voicing his concerns whenever he returned to the SCG.

"Hardly," John turned back to me, looking at me closely for the first time. "What happened to your cheek?"

"Oh," I put a hand up like I'd forgotten the bruise was even there. "Training accident yesterday – didn't duck fast enough."

"You okay?" John put a hand lightly against the injury.

"Yeah," I replied. "My ego's more bruised than my cheek ... no permanent damage done."

"Okay," John let the matter drop with no further questions. "Wanna grab some lunch?" Knowing he needed some time away from his troubling thoughts I agreed immediately.

I put the whole eavesdropping sparring thing at the back of my mind and tried not to let it worry me that at least some people on Atlantis were thinking I didn't belong there on my own merits. It wasn't like there was anything I could do about it and the last thing I wanted was John to feel like he had to fix it somehow.

"I heard some interesting gossip today," John said from the doorway of my lab a few days later.

"Since when were you interested in gossip?" I asked in surprise.

"Since it was about you," John replied. I looked up and saw that he was quite serious.

"Whatever it was," I pointedly looked away disinterestedly, "I don't want to know."

"That's too bad," John walked into the room and stood looking down at me as I studiously continued tapping away at my computer. "The rumour going around is that you wiped the sparring room floor with two of the new recruits while we were on P3M-736 looking for Ford."

"That certainly is an interesting rumour," I said in a bored tone.

"Sabina," John's voice commanded me to look at him.

"What?" I said grumpily. "You want to know if it's true?"

"I already know it's true," John countered. "I spoke to the three marines concerned and got all the details."

"Then what are you talking to me for?" I turned back to my computer again. John grabbed my arm and swung my chair around so that I was facing him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" John demanded.

"Because I didn't want you to feel like you had to fix it," I looked up at him earnestly. "It was a minor incident – no one got hurt."

Putting a hand under my chin he turned my face up to the light. "No one got hurt?" he trailed a finger over the bruise that was still visible on my cheek. "What about this?"

"My stupidity did that – let my guard down when I shouldn't have," I said quietly.

"Private Smart told me Private Cornish came at you with a fighting stick when your back was turned," John pointed out.

"Yes and the Wraith always announce they're gonna attack before they do it," I replied sarcastically. "I hope you didn't reprimand your marines for what happened – I handled it."

"So Smart said," John pulled me from the chair and into his arms. "He also told me what started the whole thing. I'm sorry you had to hear that."

"Not your fault," I said, resting my forehead against John's chest. "I wasn't even that surprised - I did tell you some people would think that once they knew I was involved with you."

"Do you mind?" John asked, pulling back slightly to look at me.

"Not enough that I'd change anything about you and me," I replied firmly. "It'll die down eventually ... when something more interesting comes along."

"Well, you won a fan," John said with an amused smile. "Smart seemed to be delighted with the chance to tell me what really happened ... he said I was a lucky man."

"You could be," I raised an eyebrow at him suggestively.

"How can I refuse an offer like that," John laughed, hugging me tight before turning and towing me out the room.

I'm sure there were others who thought I'd only gotten to Atlantis because of my connection to John but I never heard anything about it again. That made me suspicious that John had said something to his men ... but there was no point in taking it further because I knew he'd never admit it.

Authors Note:

I don't know much about military ranks - I wanted the three marines to be the same rank and not too high up so I hope 'Private' is appropriate.

Thanks to chevron7 for the idea of Sabina having some trouble with the new recruits – I hadn't thought of it in quite that way and ended up adding the extra scenes in this chapter. Don't worry Allie108 – Sabina will be getting into the thick of it as the story progresses – thanks for your comments. And finally EmSyd – thanks for sticking with my story – hope you keep enjoying it.

I originally mentioned Ronan as the 'threat' to keep those Marines in line ... before I smacked my head with my hand realising that Sabina hasn't met Ronan yet! Derrr ... Hence substituting Teyla. I'm happy with that though because a big scary guy is scary but a woman who can kick even Sheppards butt without hardly breaking a sweat is seriously scary!