I will try to post a new chapter tomorrow, but I have training so I do not know when I will be done.

I'm Bored To Tears

9:00am

House and Cuddy had been at the conference for an hour and a half. They were sitting next to each other in the auditorium, with Cuddy taking notes and House looking at the ceiling praying that the torture would be over soon. Unfortunately, House knew that he was stuck until 1:00.

Since the auditorium was dark, House kept trying to rub his hands up Cuddy's leg, but every time he would try, she would elbow him in the side.

"That was the most boring speech of my life," House said when the speaker finished. "He sounded like Lurch."

"Maybe it wouldn't be so boring if you actually paid attention," Cuddy said.

"If I paid attention, I would have to kill myself," House said.

"The next speaker will be Dr. Paul Orrick," the announcer said to the audience.

"A.K.A The Douche Bag," House said to Cuddy.

"I am sure that it what his driver's license says," Cuddy said. "I have to go get ready for my speech. Be good when I am gone."

"Like that will happen," House said.

"Please do not embarrass me when I am speaking," Cuddy said as she got up from her seat.

"I will not ruin your precious lecture," House said.

"I will be back when I am done," Cuddy said as she leaned down and gave House a quick kiss before she headed to the back of the auditorium to prepare.

"I won't ruin your lecture," House said to himself. "I will ruin the douche bags."

The room was quiet as Paul gave his speech. House had insisted to Cuddy that they sit in the back when they got there, so there were only a few people close to him. House leaned down to pretend like he was tying his shoe.

"Vagina!" House coughed loudly. Paul had not heard what he said, but knew that someone had said something because some people started snickering in the audience. Cuddy hadn't been able to make out what he said either, but she knew how had done it.

Paul continued on with his speech.

"Aflac!" House quacked. Paul continued to speak but tried to look for the person who was making noises.

"Red rum!" House moaned like a ghost. Cuddy could tell that Paul was getting mad at the person making the comments and that people were paying attention to the noises.

"Ghostbusters!" House said. Cuddy texted House to shut up. She thought that it was funny, but she didn't want people to see that she thought it was funny.

House was quiet for the rest of Paul's speech. When Paul finished his speech, though, House screamed out one more thing.

"This is nucking futs!" House said. Cuddy rolled her and wondered what was with House and the movie Dickie Roberts.

Everyone burst out laughing, except for Paul.

"That was a good speech," Cuddy said to Paul, trying to contain her laughter.

"Thank you," Paul said to her with a giant smile. "I am glad that I got to see you again. I was wondering if you are busy later. Some of us are all going to go sightseeing."

"I can't," Cuddy said. "Today is House's birthday and we are going to Worlds of Fun."

"I hope he knows how lucky he is to have a girlfriend like you," Paul said.

"He does," Cuddy said. "I make him e-mail me every morning how wonderful I am."

"Are you ready Dr. Cuddy?" The announcer asked her.

"Yes," Cuddy said.

"Good luck," Paul said.

"Thanks," Cuddy said.

House smiled as Cuddy walked on stage and started her speech. He wanted to yell to everyone that he gets to have sex with that, but he thought she might consider that as ruining her speech and embarrassing her. She can be so irritation sometimes, House thought to himself.

When Cuddy's speech was almost over, House headed to the backstage area to meet Cuddy when she was done.

"Hey Peter," House said to Paul when he made it backstage.

"It's Paul," he said to House as he watched Cuddy's lecture.

"Great speech," House said.

"Except for that idiot in the audience making noises," Paul said.

"That guy was hilarious," House said. "He made everybody laugh."

"It was not funny," Paul said. "It was totally immature. This isn't high school."

"You used to scream vagina at pep rallies in high school?" House asked.

"Is that what he was yelling?" Paul asked.

"Yeah," House said. House made a mental note that next time he has to scream a little louder so that he could hear. House heard applause and saw Cuddy coming towards him.

"Great job Dr. Cuddy," Paul said to her when she came offstage.

"Thank you," Cuddy said.

"I didn't listen to you, but I behaved myself," House said.

"I am very grateful for that," Cuddy said.

"Can we leave now?" House asked.

"No," Cuddy said. "We are going to stay until."

"Fine," House whined.

"If you will excuse us Dr. Orrick, we will be heading back to our seats," Cuddy said.

"Maybe I'll see you guys at break," Paul said.

"Sure," Cuddy said before House could say anything. She grabbed him by the arm and took him back to her chair.

"Do we have to go back my little sex kitten?" House asked.

"Yes," Cuddy said. "Don't start with the nicknames either. I am the Dr. Cuddy and in front of everybody you will refer to me as such."

"Okay such," House said with a smile.

"You think you are so funny, don't you?" Cuddy asked.

"Everybody seemed to think I was funny earlier," House said.

"That was just me," Cuddy said. "You are lucky he didn't know that it was you."

"Are you saying that since I am crippled I can't defend myself?" House asked.

"I am saying that he would take your can and play baseball with your balls," Cuddy said.

"You made me start to hate the sport of baseball," House said as he took his seat.

"You were funny, though," Cuddy said as she sat down.

"I had to get it out of my system before you went onstage," House said.

"That's good because instead of getting angry, I probably would have laughed," Cuddy said.

"That would have made it funnier," House said.

"It wouldn't be funny when you were sleeping out in the parking lot instead of our hotel room," Cuddy said.

"It wouldn't," House said. "We are on the 10th floor so I couldn't have even seen you naked through the window."