Chapter 18: Never thought I'd see any of you again
It was chance that had me in the Control Room when Rodney flew the Jumper back alone only hours after he'd left with team Sheppard for a routine mission. If Rodney was flying the Jumper then that meant John was in trouble. Even though I usually tried not to impose myself on high level talks just because of my position with John, this time I felt the need to stick around and find out what was going on. Rodney was shooting out instructions and requests for supplies at a speed that was fast, even for him, as he gathered together a whole host of items to take back to the planet.
"Colonel Sheppard was pulled into the portal despite Ronan and Teyla's best efforts to hold him back," Rodney said abruptly. "I have no way of predicting what the effect on him might have been."
"What, you have no idea whether he's injured?" Doctor Beckett protested.
"The excruciating pain he was experiencing was a result of the temporal differential." Rodney spoke with that 'am I talking to an idiot?' tone that usually grated on the recipient.
"And what is that, exactly?" Carson ignored Rodney's impatience. I remained silent, willing Rodney to explain what had happened so that I could understand how bad the situation was.
"OK," Rodney conceded the need to explain in more detail. "The-the-the portal must somehow dampen the extreme tidal forces that would normally occur in the event horizon of a time dilation field, and we were keeping him from passing through it."
"So part of his body was experiencing time at a different pace than the other?" Doctor Beckett quizzed. "Who knows what that could do to him?"
"I have no idea," Rodney said sarcastically, "but I suspect he could use a doctor."
"So you don't know if he's even alive?" Doctor Weir frowned.
"The Ancient writing on the portal said something about welcome and ascension," Rodney said. "The most time-efficient approach was to assume that Sheppard was alive but stranded."
"And why not assume that he'll make his own way back through the portal?" Doctor Weir raised an eyebrow at Rodney.
"Because," Rodney was losing patience now, "Colonel Sheppard would have already had hours to try to make it back through the portal in the time I wasted explaining the situation to Conan and Xena!"
"Now, Rodney, that's not very ..." Doctor Beckett scolded.
"No. No, I suppose it isn't," Rodney admitted in a more reasonable tone. "Look, I need someone to translate the writing around the portal." He looked at Doctor Weir expectantly.
"I'll do it," Doctor Weir offered.
"Actually," Rodney said uncomfortably, "I was thinking Sabina – she's just as proficient in Ancient as you are Elizabeth. And with Sheppard on the other side of that portal Sabina's the strongest gene carrier we have ... that could be important."
"You're right," Doctor Weir nodded, smiling over at me. "I'm assuming I don't even have to ask," she said.
"I'm ready," I agreed, moving to Rodney's side to illustrate my desire to get moving as soon as possible.
"This is McKay," Rodney said into his radio. "Supplies been loaded aboard yet?"
"Almost there, sir," a voice I didn't recognise responded. "Just a few more cases."
"Alright," Rodney acknowledged. "When you're done with that, make sure you assist Zelenka in securing the descent probe into the launch compartment."
Rodney picked up a large bag and tossed it to Doctor Beckett. "Let's move," he ordered, briskly leaving the room. Doctor Beckett and I glanced at each other before running to catch up with him.
"We've loaded weeks of supplies and everything I could think of," Rodney said as we almost ran toward the Jumper bay, Doctor Weir accompanying us.
"What're we not thinking of?" Doctor Beckett demanded.
"Now take a minute, and be certain," Doctor Weir suggested intently. "If your theory is correct, you won't be able to make many of these trips."
"I am painfully aware of that." Rodney said sickly.
"I remind you only because from what you've told me, rushing is what got Sheppard into trouble in the first place." Doctor Weir put a hand on Rodney's arm to halt his mad dash to the Jumper.
"This was not his fault - it was mine," Rodney admitted sadly. "I should have looked more closely at the video. The clues were there before he even stepped through. Look, all I can hope to do now is fix this within his lifetime."
"His lifetime?" I asked in horror.
"If it takes us more than a couple of weeks to fix this, then it won't matter, because he will probably have died of old age," Rodney looked at me apologetically before quickly looking away.
"Crap!" I muttered angrily.
"Yeah, hence the rushing. Now, you ready?" Rodney looked at me and then across at Doctor Beckett. "You don't look ready."
"I'm ready," Carson said confidently.
"I need to pick up a couple of my books – just in case I need help with the translation," I said.
"Well, we'll pick 'em up on the way," Rodney offered. Turning to Doctor Weir he added "I hope you've got us a real Jumper pilot because I don't trust Carson and I can't fly the damned thing in a straight line."
Once on the planet, Rodney directed the Jumper towards a circulate mountain range surrounding a crater. Rodney had high hopes that the probe he and Zelenka had devised would give him evidence to support flying the Jumper through the dilation field. The probe's destruction proved the tidal forces at the event horizon were too strong for the Jumper, but Rodney did manage to get enough telemetry to determine the location of the power source inside the field. He was confident that once he'd found the generator he'd be able to turn the time dilation field off.
"You sure it was three seconds?" We had met up with Teyla and Ronan at the portal entrance and Rodney was checking in with Teyla about the rate of the time dilation.
"Yes," Teyla confirmed.
"And there's fifty minutes of video," Rodney asked.
"Yes," Teyla confirmed again.
"Alright,' Rodney said briskly. "So it's a ratio of about, uh ..."
"One thousand to one," Teyla said simply, smiling slightly when Rodney stared at her in surprise.
"I sent my watch through," Teyla explained, showing Rodney a branch with a watch taped to it, "along with a letter to Colonel Sheppard telling him we are doing our best to rescue him." Rodney just stood there staring at the branch, clearly flabbergasted that Teyla had come up with such a clever idea. "If you would like to check again, then ..." Teyla offered.
"No, that's good, that's good, that's good," Rodney stuttered. "Uh, good thinking."
"Just out of curiosity," Doctor Beckett asked the question I'd been thinking myself, "what does that mean for Colonel Sheppard in terms of, uh, days?"
"We're already talking months," Rodney said miserably.
"I can't believe this," I muttered, rushing to my pack and grabbing my books before running back to the wall beside the portal. "Can anyone tell me why John is always the one this kind of thing happens to?"
"He volunteered!" Rodney protested. "Hopefully he's looking on this as a nice long ... vacation ..." Rodney's voice trailed off miserably at my heated glare.
"More likely he's wondering why the hell we've abandoned him," I retorted. I turned to the inscribed wall and set to work translating as quickly as I could, always aware at the back of my mind that every minute I took was over 16 hours for John. But no pressure!
"Okay," I announced a few minutes later. "The time dilation field was designed to provide the Ancients with a sanctuary from the Wraith - a place they could travel to and hopefully ascend without fear of attack."
"Oh, of course," Rodney explained. "They could potentially spend entire lifetimes inside the field before the Wraith even discovered the place."
"And if they ever attacked," Doctor Beckett added, "their ships would get torn apart just as the probe did."
"This writing here," I pointed at a section of the wall, "serves as both a welcome and a warning for any of the humans under the Ancient's protection looking for sanctuary. It's an invitation to anyone seeking the path to ascension on their own.
"And what's the warning?" Ronan asked.
"Not really a surprise," I pointed out, "given what we know of John's situation. If you cross the threshold, there's no return."
"That is," Rodney announced smugly, "unless you have the exact location of the power source and the expertise to turn it off."
Rodney's words prompted a flurry of activity as we all gathered together what we'd need once inside the field. Rodney briefly tried to dissuade me from going through but I insisted. Since Rodney couldn't be sure the generator wasn't going to be covered in Ancient instructions he reluctantly gave in. We were all a bit worried about the actual trip through the portal because John had clearly been in distress when he went through. Rodney suggested we do it as quickly as we could to reduce the effects of the temporal differential.
Turns out he was right, the trip through the portal was ... uncomfortable but not excruciating. I went through straight after Rodney and had to put up with another half an hour of waiting before everyone else made it through to the other side.
We set off in the direction of the arrow John had left us as it corresponded with where Rodney believed the generator would be. We'd been walking for a while through the trees before we came to a field full of tall grass topped with bright yellow flowers. Rodney, Carson and Ronan were talking behind me but I wasn't really listening ... I felt a bit more relaxed now that I was existing at the same time rate as John but I was still worried about how long it might take us to find him.
Teyla had taken the lead position – before we'd travelled far into the field she dropped the case she was carrying and raised her fist above her head.
"What?" Rodney looked around nervously. "What is it?"
We waited a few seconds before the sound of an angry animal echoed from the distance. Teyla turned and aimed her P90 into the woods where the sound seemed to be coming from
"I'm not detecting anything," Rodney reported after checking the life signs detector.
"Doesn't mean it isn't there," Ronan said grimly. Turning to Teyla he asked "Can you see anything?"
"No," Teyla admitted calmly. "But I sense something is close."
"Maybe we should try another way," Rodney suggested in a voice shaking with nerves.
The roaring sound came to us again, this time much closer than before. To my ears it sounded not unlike an angry elephant.
"Won't make any difference," Ronan answered Rodney's query. "It's stalking us."
The roaring sounded again, this time from another direction.
"Sounds like it's more than one," Carson said apprehensively.
"Yeah," Rodney agreed, aiming his 9mm towards the woods. "More than one what?"
"I do not know," Teyla admitted, looking skyward as though trying to sense what was out there.
Before anyone could even blink a large, strangely transparent apparition appeared directly in front of Ronan. The outline of the beast shifted in and out of focus as though the real beast were hidden by a faulty cloaking device. Ronan fired his blaster right into it but the beast didn't even flinch, somehow knocking Ronan a few feet away from its position. Teyla backed away slightly and fired a quick succession of bullets into the beast. Rodney and Carson were also firing their pistols directly into the beast but none of our weapons seemed to have any effect. Ronan had regained his feet and drawn his sword – as he approached the beast the others ceased firing. Ronan slashed at the beast but each time it seemed the beast faded out of existence to avoid the strike before reappearing again. The beast swiped at Ronan again, landing him in almost the same position as before. Teyla returned to the fray, pulling her knife and running towards the beast with a cry of rage. The beast was not deterred – it struck out at her and knocked her away ... her body came to rest close by Ronan.
Since I was unarmed, Rodney and Carson had stepped in front of me with some misguided belief that they could protect me. If Ronan and Teyla had been unable to even made a dent in the beast I didn't see what their pistols would do. Still I was grateful to have their comforting presence as the beast turned towards us.
At that moment John came running out of the woods at full speed, hurling himself onto the beast's back. The beast shifted out of existence completely and John crashed to the ground. Rodney and Carson ran to check on Teyla and Ronan the second John had appeared. He pulled himself to his feet and turned to glare at us.
"What the hell took you so long?!" He growled angrily, not even acknowledging my presence.
"Believe it or not," Rodney tried to placate him, "you were only gone a few hours."
"Try six months!" John half yelled. He rubbed a hand across his face where he was now sporting a full beard. That more than anything brought home to me how long it had been from his point of view.
"You don't understand," Rodney protested. "You've been trapped in a time dilation field."
"What?!" John demanded harshly.
"What was that bloody thing?" Doctor Beckett asked, talking over John.
"I don't know," John admitted to Carson before turning back to Rodney. "What's a time dilation field?"
"It's a –" Rodney broke off when John turned away and speared me with an angry glance.
"And what the hell are you doing here?" John demanded, giving me every indication that he was just as pissed at me as everyone else.
"Rescuing you," I stated the obvious, trying not to be hurt that he didn't seem that happy to see me. "Nice beard," I gestured to his face with a faint smile. John raised a hand to his cheek as though he'd forgotten the addition was even there.
"We should move this somewhere safer," Ronan advised before John could say anything further.
"No," Teyla contradicted, gazing skyward again. "It is still close."
As though the beast had actually heard her, another roar sounded from no specific direction. Everyone looked around the field nervously – for a few moments there was nothing and then the beast shifted back into existence. This time it was immensely tall. I couldn't see how there was any way we could beat it but John still walked cautiously forward, holding his knife out in front of him. Ronan retrieved his sword and joined him.
"Stay back," John ordered the rest of us as the two of them approached the beast.
"You've fought this thing before?" Roan asked incredulously.
"Twice," John said grimly.
"How did you beat it?" Ronan quizzed.
"Still haven't figured that out," John admitted.
"Now'd be a good time," Ronan urged him to work it out quickly.
"Yeah, well," John drawled, "what'd you say we just fight it and see what happens?"
"John?" Teyla called, noticing a group of people arriving out of the woods. "Do you know these people?"
"They're from the village I've been staying in," John said.
"We've come to stand with you, whatever happens," a young male vowed, looking directly at John.
"No - we've come to fight," a pretty young woman corrected. "And we are not afraid of you," she said, turning to look up at the beast. "The Beast is of our own creation, and it is long past time we sent it away."
The villagers formed a circle around the beast, who continued to make that angry elephant sound. When the circle was complete the beast raised its claws above its head, trumpeted harshly, and then just disappeared. The young woman walked towards John, joined by the young man who'd first spoken and a little girl.
"That's it?!" John said incredulously. "That's all it took?!"
"You were right, John," the young woman admitted simply. "We were afraid. The Beast was the final burden we had to shed, manifest from our own fears. You gave us the courage to face it."
Behind her, a white glow had begun to envelop the rest of the villagers. The woman held out a hand to John. "You can still come with us."
"I'm not ready for that yet," John glanced back to where I was standing. "I'm not sure I'll ever be."
"She is the one," the woman looked towards me with a gentle expression.
"Yeah," John said easily, motioning for me to join him. "Sabina, this is Teer, Avrid and Hedda," he gestured to each of them in turn.
I smiled suddenly shy in the presence of people who were as close to Ancients as I was ever likely to get. My head was buzzing with all the questions I would have loved to ask but before I could even begin to form them, Teer turned away to look at Rodney.
"There'll be no need to destroy the Sanctuary, Doctor McKay," she said firmly.
"What? No-no-no-no-no," Rodney denied unconvincingly. "I wasn't thinking that, I was ..." he broke off awkwardly. Behind Teer the villagers had all but disappeared, leaving only a glowing light that slowly began to rise into the sky.
"We will keep the portal open for you until you are gone," Teer promised.
"At which point the ZedPM which undoubtedly powers this beautiful place will be ..." Rodney looked sick at the thought of another ZPM gone begging.
"Sanctuary was left by those who came before us," Teer advised him sternly, "for those who may seek it out and follow the path. And it will continue to remain after you are gone."
"Yeah, but ... ," Rodney turned to look at John pleadingly.
"Rodney," John said in a warning voice, before turning back to Teer. "Absolutely," he promised.
The rest of Teer's people were already hovering as glowing lights high in the sky. Teer, Avrid and Hedda began to glow too and slowly the three of them also began to ascend. Within moments the light had disappeared and we were left alone in the field.
I was still looking disbelievingly at the spot where they'd stood when John pulled me into his arms and kissed me like there was no tomorrow. Obviously he was very glad to see me and I was as surprised by the intensity of this greeting as I had been by the anger John had shown when he first realised I was there. It's not that we'd ever hidden our relationship from the others – in fact John seemed quite fond of the casual caress, hug or hand hold. This kiss was way, way, way, outside of that – he was practically consuming me and I was an eager participant. I'd completely forgotten the others were even there as John deepened the kiss even further, moulding me so closely against him that he lifted my feet off the ground.
"Hey," Rodney's yell broke through our passion clouded haze, giving the impression that wasn't the first time he'd tried to get our attention. "Still standing right here!"
John reluctantly ended the kiss and I buried my head in his chest in embarrassment as he turned back to Rodney.
"Lighten up Rodney," he said, urging me to walk with him back towards where the others were waiting.
"Never thought I'd see any of you again," John said, looking first at Teyla and Ronan before glancing at Rodney and Carson. "Kind of even ... missed you a little."
"Yeah, well, it was only a few hours for us, so ..." Ronan teased with an amused twinkle in his eyes.
"Ronon," Teyla scolded sternly. "We were all quite worried about you," she assured John.
"Of course we were," Doctor Beckett agreed bracingly.
"We're just sorry we didn't get here sooner," Rodney admitted.
Reminded again of how long it had been since he'd seen me John glanced down as if to reassure himself I was still there. It seemed he was unable to resist my charms as he lowered his head and kissed me again.
"Okay Romeo, wanna save that for later?" Rodney complained. When we broke apart Rodney looked at me and shook his head.
"Him I can understand," Rodney excused, gesturing towards John. "It's been six months. But you," Rodney turned back to me with an incredulous expression. "You only saw him this morning – what's your excuse?!"
"Ah, it felt like months?" I excused my behaviour with an embarrassed smile. Everyone laughed as I smiled ruefully. Rodney had teased me like always and I was actually happy about it because it meant he'd finally forgiven me for taking the Ancient hard drive project from him.
"Let's get outta here!" John urged, keeping an arm around my shoulders.
"Yeah - let's go home," I agreed happily.
Once back on Atlantis and fully checked out by Doctor Beckett, John was released to his quarters. I sat quietly, watching him shave off six months of beard, as he talked about what had happened on the planet.
"I was starting to think you guys had given up on me," John admitted reluctantly, meeting my gaze through the mirror.
"I would never ever give up on you," I vowed. "No matter how much time had gone by."
"I thought I knew that," John said, "but then I kept going back to the cave and there was no word from anyone and I couldn't think of a reason for that."
"I'm sorry you had to wait so long," I put my arms around John's chest from behind and laid my head against his back. "You were angry to see me there, weren't you?"
"That beast thing was dangerous," John wiped his face before turning me around and looking down at me. "If Hedda hadn't healed me ... twice ... well I wouldn't be standing here now."
"When Rodney told us how much time was going by for you I felt so helpless," I admitted. "I will never give up on you but ... I'm stuck here on Atlantis and sometimes that's the most frustrating thing because I want to help you and I can't!"
"I'm sorry," John hugged me tightly and we stood for a time enjoyed the others closeness. I welcomed him home emotionally and physically ... the six month absence from John's perspective added a desperate, impatient mood to our intimacy. It only seemed that after, as I held John close, he finally relaxed and settled himself to being home.
Authors Note:
Thanks for the reviews again chevron7 and Allie108 – I get stats to tell me people are reading this but you guys are the ones encouraging me to keep going. You were right chevron7 when you mentioned all the 'kirking' (nice term!) in Season 2 – hopefully my take on Sheppard in an established relationship is believable whenever those kirking opportunities present themselves.
This chapter feels very much like a regurgitation of the actual episode – apologies for that but I couldn't think of anything original to get around it – I had that scene in my head where Sheppard sees Sabina for the first time after 6 months, including McKay's complaints ... apologies to the episode purists too – I always try to stick as much as possible to the real episodes, including the timeline for each but in this one I did make a few changes in dialogue and of course in Sheppard's relationship with Teer – he would have learnt his lesson from Chaya and I don't think he'd be the type to make the same mistake twice! If you don't know what I mean about learning his lesson then you haven't read my season 1 story – you could go and do that now ... if you wanted ... but no pressure!
I also changed the time dilation ratio to 1000 – big maths warning ahead so if you're not interested in why then you can proceed to the next chapter!
If the time dilation ratio really was 250 to 1 then 6 months inside the field at roughly 30 days per month equals 180 days x 24 hours per day equals 4320 hours / 250 (to convert it into time outside the field) equals 17.28 hours. Ronan clearly states that it was only a couple of hours for them outside the field – let's assume 4 hours to be conservative. To get Sheppard's 4320 hours to equal 4 hours would mean a time dilation ratio 4320 / 4 which equals 1080. Of course it could be 6 months for whatever planet they were on which might have less than 24 hours in a day ... for 6 months of roughly 30 days per month to equal 4 hours outside the field the days would need to be 5 or 6 hours long which sounds ridiculous. If it were 20 days per month instead then each day would need to be 8 hours long, 15 days per month would mean 11 hour days; 10 days per month would mean 17 hour days. That is if the concept of a month even means something on that planet – and if Rodney did the conversion in his head from our months to the planets months – he's smart but that seems unlikely! So to cut this very long Authors note short, I used a time dilation ratio of 1000 instead of 250! If you'd like to explain to me why my calculations are wrong, I'd be happy to hear it ...