Chapter 19: You don't need my permission

It was about a week later when I walked into the commissary to find John and Rodney finishing up lunch and what sounded like a very interesting conversation.

"So what is it with you and ascended women?" Rodney asked.

"Yes John, do tell," I walked up behind him and laid a hand on his shoulder. I already knew there was nothing to Teer's invitation for John to ascend with them and the relieved look he got at my arrival only strengthened that belief.

"It wasn't like that Rodney," John pulled me into the seat next to him as he answered Rodney's question. "In fact, Teer seemed more interested in Sabina that in me."

"What?" Rodney and I both reacted together.

"Teer had one of those Ancient gifts," John explained. "She could see images in her mind ... places and people that she didn't know herself."

"What does that have to do with me?" I asked curiously.

"A few months into my stay Teer came to see me one morning," John said almost uncomfortably. "She ... ah ..." he broke off, clearly unsure how to explain.

"She was interested in you?" I asked easily.

"Yeah," John admitted, almost bashful. "I didn't have to say anything about you though ... she kinda froze in my doorway like she was in some kind of trance. When she returned to herself she smiled at me and said she understood. And then she described you," John looked straight at me, "in vivid detail ... and not just your appearance either. She knew about the Ancient gene and the Wraith gene, and of course she seemed to know a lot about our relationship."

"Did she say anything else about me?" I asked curiously, forgetting for a moment that Rodney was listening avidly to the entire conversation.

"She said that you had unique talents that would be needed in the fight against the Wraith," John traced an idle finger over the back of my hand, "and that you needed me in order to be able to do what you would have to do."

"Oh," I frowned in confusion. "Surely you didn't leave it at that?"

"I was gonna quiz her more," John admitted, "but she started talking about our 'great love' and how we were 'meant to be'. It freaked me out a bit so I just thanked her and practically pushed her out the door."

"Did you find out anything useful about the Ancients who set up the sanctuary?" Rodney reminded us he was still there.

"Not really," John admitted. "The villagers spent their whole day meditating – whenever I tried to break into that to question one of them they got all cryptic on me."

"Wait a minute ... you meditated?" Rodney asked incredulously.

"Hey - I can be deep," John put a hand on his chest and a soulful expression on his face. He couldn't hold it though and the conversation ended with the three of us laughing.

"Doctor Weir offered me a spot on Major Lorne's team," I said to John a few days later.

"She said," John acknowledged.

"I didn't give her an answer because I wanted to talk to you about it first," I told him, somewhat puzzled by the lack of reaction I'd gotten from him.

"You don't need my permission," John reminded me that team assignments of non military personnel were Doctor Weir's responsibility.

"I know," I responded, "but I was kinda hoping I'd get your approval anyway."

"You've been off world a few times now," John pointed out, looking at me intently. "You've handled yourself well, followed orders, and made a valuable contribution." My face reddened at his praise. "Don't you think you've earned a place on a team?"

"I guess," I said hesitantly. "I didn't think about it that way because you were always so adamant that I could only go on missions if it was absolutely necessary. Being on Major Lorne's team doesn't really fit into that."

"Yeah, well I had six months to think about you," John looked away uncomfortably. "And I realised that I was doing you a disservice ... you've worked hard to make yourself valuable on a number of fronts. Major Lorne would be lucky to have someone with your skill set on his team."

"Oh ..." I was speechless. I could actually feel my brain scrambling for words but finding none that seemed adequate after that statement.

"Oh?" John turned back to me and grinned. "You've mastered both Ancient and Wraith and 'Oh" is the best you can do?"

"You surprised me," I admitted, finding my voice again.

"I'm sorry," John looked at me apologetically. When I raised an eyebrow in query he explained "I obviously haven't been doing a good enough job of passing on feedback if praise that you've rightfully earned is such a surprise to you."

"It doesn't matter," I said happily. "I'm gonna be on an off world team!" I laughed in excitement, throwing myself into his lap and hugging him tight.

"Yes you are," John agreed seriously. I met his eyes and saw the worry there.

"It'll be fine" I said confidently.

"It had better be," John grumbled.

I let Doctor Weir know that I was keen to join Major Lorne's team and just a few short days later found myself stepping through the gate for the first time without John there to watch over me. One of Teyla's contacts had reported that the planet we'd gated to was the site of an Ancient ruin – we didn't usually check out every ruin we discovered but these were supposedly quite extensive and Doctor Weir believed some study of them would be worthwhile. It sounded like an easy first mission for me and I wondered if some of Doctor Weir's enthusiasm was about that more than the actual ruins.

Still it was a glorious day and I found myself enjoying the long walk from the gate to the ruins. Teyla's contact had been right – the site was extensive. Unfortunately there were no signs of any Ancient technology or power sources left behind. I wouldn't know more about its purpose without spending at least a couple of days translating and exploring so Major Lorne reported in and requested an extended stay.

Two days later we returned to Atlantis on schedule, me loaded down with a full camera and a stack of things to finish translating. When we stepped through the gate I was surprised to find John standing at the bottom of the steps waiting for me.

"This is a surprise Colonel," Major Lorne said innocently.

"I'm not here for you," John drawled without any hint of embarrassment. Major Lorne laughed and continued with the rest of the team up the stairs to the infirmary.

"Are you waiting for me?" I asked, trying to hold off my grin.

"No I'm waiting for somebody else ... yes I'm waiting for you," John said irritably. "Who else would I be waiting around for?!"

"That's sweet," I said, grinning when I saw John's grimace of distaste at my describing anything he did as 'sweet'.

"Yeah well," he excused his behaviour. "It's only because it was your first mission without me ... don't let it go to your head."

"I won't," I couldn't resist grabbing his hand, pulling him down for a quick kiss on the cheek. John made the pretence of not reacting but I could see that he was pleased I'd made even that much of a personal greeting.

"How'd it go?" John asked as he walked with me down to the infirmary.

"The ruin used to be an Ancient ... university is the closest word to describe it," I said. "It was pretty old, maybe even predating much of the war with the Wraith. It makes me sad to think what Pegasus must have been like before the Wraith evolved and ruined it all. The ruin proves that at the very least there was free travel between planets and sharing of education and ..." I trailed off when I saw John was grinning at me again.

"I was getting carried away again, wasn't I?" I smiled ruefully when John nodded. By that stage we'd arrived at the infirmary.

"Doctor Beckett awaits," John gestured for me to get my post mission check up over with.

"Hey," I turned back to him. "You didn't tell me what happened around here while I was gone."

"We had a bomb on Atlantis, only it wasn't a bomb at all," John stated in a matter of fact tone. "The ZPM failsafes were rewritten – it we'd dialled Earth it would have caused a catastrophic overload. Rodney disabled the DHD to stop that from happening but then a distress beacon was activated that drew the notice of two nearby Wraith cruisers. We were forced to reconnect the ZPM to power the cities cloak – once the ZPM was back on line the inertial dampener system was activated to cause the overload. Luckily Lieutenant Cadman worked out who it was and we got the codes we needed to turn it off just in time to stop the ZPM from exploding."

"So, business pretty much as usual," I joked.

"Pretty much," John agreed. "Zelenka had to wait it out on M7G-677 with the kids – you should have seen him when he came back."

"I'm sorry I missed it," I could hardly imagine how Radek had survived for a couple of hours, let alone a couple of days – he was no more fond of children than Rodney. "Who was it?" I asked curiously, suddenly realising that John had left that out of his explanation.

"Colonel Caldwell," John said, watching me almost gape in shock. "He was taken by a Goa'uld on his last trip to Earth."

"That's just creepy," I shuddered. "I'm kind of glad I was off world to be honest."

"Me too," John agreed. "Hermiod managed to beam the Goa'uld out of Colonel Caldwell – with a bit of time he'll make a full recovery."

"Well, he's not exactly my favourite person," I admitted. "But I'm glad Caldwell's going to be okay."

"Yeah," John nodded. He gestured again for me to proceed into the infirmary. "Meet me down in the commissary when you get done here."

"Will do," I had turned away when John called out to me.

"Yeah?" I looked at him curiously.

"Well done on your first solo mission," John said simply.

"Thanks," I smiled gratefully. I'd wondered if John was really as relaxed about me going off world without him as he'd made out. I didn't understand how it had happened, but John really did seem resigned to my new role ... I just hoped that wasn't going to come back and bite me in the future.

Authors Note:

I know in the episode they said only one team (Doctor Zelenka) was off world BUT I was kind of tired of putting Sabina into every event just because it happened on Atlantis so I decided the timing was ripe for her first off world mission with a different team. I don't think Major Lorne was visible during Critical Mass so there's no reason he couldn't have been off world. Besides I kind of need Sabina out and about for what's coming up in a few chapters time.

Thanks for the review chevron7 - Project Imperium will be making more of an appearance in the story soon but there is some ground work and a few more episode based chapters coming up first. I can't believe you reread the first season story - that's so cool!! I'm glad it stood up to a second reading! Nice suggestion re Kavanaugh - I wish I'd thought of that!