I just watched The Dick Van Dyke Show about the walnuts. That cracks me up every time.

Home, Where I Want To Go

June 14

7:00am

Cuddy was in a nice sleep until she felt something furry rubbing against her face. Cuddy opened her eyes to find Snoopy looking at her.

"Morning Wisa," House said, pretending like Snoopy was talking to her.

"Morning," Cuddy said sleepily.

"You sure are beautiful," Snoopy said.

"I know," Cuddy said with a smile.

"And certainly modest," Snoopy said causing Cuddy to laugh.

"I just figured I must be good-looking because I have a hot boyfriend," Cuddy said.

"That is true," House said. "You are dating a stud."

"Who's modest now?" Cuddy asked.

"I never claimed to be," House said.

"Will you get me my pills?" Cuddy asked House.

"You are starting to sound like me," House said as he went and got Cuddy's pills.

"I want to be just like you," Cuddy said. "I heard you saved me. You are my hero."

"I think you need to get a better role model," House said as he gave Cuddy her pills.

"Wilson?" Cuddy asked as she took her pills.

"I don't know if you can pull off the sweater vest look," House said.

"Cameron does have better shoes," Cuddy said.

"I tried to wear them once, though," House said. "They are not comfortable."

"Just get ready to go," Cuddy said. "I don't want to picture you in high-heel shoes." Cuddy got out of bed and went and picked her pants to put on.

"Nice view," Snoopy said when Cuddy bent over in front of him. "Hubba Hubba."

"I think Snoopy needs to get in the suitcase," Cuddy said, taking him out of House's hands.

"Is that where you keep you panties?" Snoopy asked.

"Only you could win me a perverted stuffed animal," Cuddy said.

After they got everything ready to go, Cuddy called the front desk to have someone come take their luggage to their car. When they headed down to the lobby, Audrey was just leaving the cafeteria and saw them.

"Hi Greg and Lisa," Audrey said. "It is so great to see you up and walking dear."

"Thanks for the flowers," House said.

"I just wanted you two to know that I was thinking of you," Audrey said. "Are you guys leaving now?"

"Time to get back home," House said.

"I hope you have a nice trip home," Audrey said as she gave House a hug. Cuddy smiled at House as she watched the old woman hugging him.

"Thank you for everything," Cuddy said as Audrey gave her a hug.

"You still do not remember her, do you?" House asked Cuddy after Audrey left.

"Nope," Cuddy said. "Nice woman, though."

House and Cuddy went to the front desk to get the bill.

"You will be happy that there is not porn on that bill," House said when Cuddy looked over the bill.

"That's because you had me," Cuddy said.

"Are you two checking out?" David asked as he walked up behind them.

"We have decided that we need to get as far away from Kansas as possible," House said.

"I don't blame you," David said. "I know that you may have not gotten the best impression of Kansas, but if you ever do decide to come back, I hope you will stay here."

"Sure," House said. "Kansas wasn't really that bad. If you forget about the tornado, that is."

"If you and your wife are ever in Princeton, I hope you will look us up," Cuddy said.

"Sure thing," David said.

"I would like to thank you and your wife for all that you did for us," Cuddy said.

"We are all God's children and we need to take care of each other," David said. "As doctors, you guys save lives all the time."

"If I don't do it, though, I get fired," House said.

"That should be good motivation," David said.

"It should be," House said.

"You guys be careful," David said. "I wish you guys all the best."

"You too," Cuddy said.

**********

House and Cuddy were now on the plane back to Princeton.

"I am going to be so happy to be home in our own bed," House said to Cuddy.

"Me too," Cuddy said.

"I think we should avoid vacations for awhile," House said. "We need to stay home and relax."

"We are still going to my parent's house," Cuddy said.

"What do they have in Boston?" House asked. "Killer monkeys?"

"Yes," Cuddy said. "They are roaming the streets. Only at night, though. You don't need to worry. I will protect you from them."

"Can't we use your sister as a human shield?" House asked.

"If she makes me mad," Cuddy said. "Which will probably happen."

"At least I will get to see some family drama that has nothing to do with me," House said.

"It will probably end up being about you," Cuddy said. "She does not want me to be happy with someone because she wants to prove that she is better because she has a family."

"She has three kids, right?" House asked.

"Yeah," Cuddy said.

"I guess that means that we need to have four kids," House said. "Or have one super one that becomes president."

"All you have to do on this trip is to tell me how much you love me in front of her," Cuddy said. "It will drive her insane."

"Every time I have a conversation with her, I will tell her how wonderful you are," House said. "I don't care if we are talking about the weather. I will turn it in to how 'Lisa's eyes are as beautiful as the sky."

"Then she will tell everyone you are gay," Cuddy said.

"Then I will tell everyone that I was gay, but your ass turned me straight," House said.

"We just have to remember that we need to stick together," Cuddy said. "We need to defend each other."

"If anyone is mean to you, I will beat them with my cane," House said. "You might want to give them some warning."

"Just don't hit any of the kids," Cuddy said.

"Not even the oldest?" House asked.

"She's only 14," Cuddy said.

"But she is a Cuddy," House said. "I am sure that she has a mouth on her." Cuddy smacked him in the arm.

"I am sure that the kids will not mouth off to you," Cuddy said. "They are always nice to me."

"I think they will love cool Uncle Greg," House said. Cuddy smiled, thinking about her nieces and nephew thinking of House as their uncle.