***Disclaimer: Ok, so I found a really great deal on ebay and ordered the five season set and now I guess I own those when they arrive but as for everything else? Sadly no.

The silence was deafening. He could hear himself think and he didn't like it. His thoughts attacked him from all sides. He was mentally paralyzed. He drove on auto pilot. But auto pilot to where? To the hospital? To the basement? Again his mind ripped at him. Clawed at him. He wanted desperately to be with her. But she had lied to him-ok not lied. But she had withheld information which was the same as lying. Why? Why would she keep their baby a secret? His foot hit the gas pedal a little harder. His heart knew why she had done it and deep down he couldn't fault her for it. He'd never said the words but she had known that commitment was not a factor in their relationship. And she hadn't pushed it. They had kept it simple but complicated. But not so complicated that marriage, much less a baby, had ever been a topic of conversation. Hell, they hadn't even made it to the infamous "L" word. Well, she had. Sort of. In not so many words. And he had walked out. It was his calling card. The woman, the one woman he needed in his life, was lost to him and no trip to the hospital or bouquet of green M & M's was going to bring him any closer to where he wanted to be. With her. Inside of her. Next to her. On top of her. Underneath of her. Staring into her oceanic blue eyes. Polaroids flashed in his mind only this time it wasn't Kate he saw. He saw Lizzy. His Lizzy.

*FLASH* Staring back at him across the table, a home cooked meal in front of them *FLASH* Her strength and determination as she pounded the punching bag in front of her *FLASH* Her face when it was focused on a crime scene with her hair tightly contained underneath of her ventilated NCIS hat *FLASH* Her naked body as it moved underneath of his, begging for more *FLASH* He was snapped back to reality as he veered too far across the yellow lines and horns began to blow.

She started to come to in the recovery room. The walls spun around her when she first opened her eyes. It made her dizzy so she closed them again. She could hear the nurses moving around her. She could feel the blood pressure cuff inflate and become tight. What the hell happened? she thought. What in holy hell am I doing in a hospital? I have to finish packing. I have to get to the Enterprise. Agent afloat. Gibbs. Her mind threw her little snippets of information as the seconds ticked by. She wanted to go back to sleep but her mind wouldn't let her. It was wide awake and flashing bright lights at her. Maybe it was the doctor. She definitely had more than a few questions for him. When she could take it no more, she forced her eyes open, spinning I.V. poles be damned. Her eyes focused as best they could. The nurse came to her bed when she noticed Lizzy waking. They gave her another hour in recovery then moved her to her own room.

The sedan pulled slowly into the visitor parking lot. He found a spot and shut the car off. He wondered if he was doing the right thing-the smart thing, coming here to the hospital. Would she be upset to see him there? Or would she be upset if she didn't see him there? He walked across the parking lot but halfway to the automatic doors, he stopped. He stopped, turned on his heel, and went back to his car. He sat, staring out at the skyline in front of him. Dammit, he thought. He was scared. Leroy Jethro Gibbs was terrified – not for the first time in his life and certainly not for the last – and so he sat, hands on steering wheel, head on hands, taking long, shuddering breaths. But what – what was he going to say to her? She had carried their child inside of her body. For three months. Not three weeks, three months. His head thumped against his hands. He should have noticed. Why didn't he notice? Because he was smitten. Smitten? Did anybody even use that word anymore? But yes, that's exactly what he was, had been. And the first part of the relationship is always the best. The looks, the touches, the constant derailment of a train of thought, the passion, the questioning, the flirting, the teasing, the feeling of utter weightlessness… He knew why he hadn't noticed and he knew why she had kept it from him. He sat up and leaned his head back against the headrest. He could do this. He could prove to Lizzy that she was what he needed. He could prove to her that relationships based on intense circumstances could work. He chuckled a little at his own movie reference. They'll bring me into the 21st century yet, he thought. He got out of the car and started for the hospital door, vowing to make it through them this time around.

In her own room, Lizzy had yet to talk to a doctor. The nurses weren't helpful, even when she threatened them with Ziva's infamous paperclip technique. They weren't impressed and she was too weak to care. She wanted to know what was going on. She remembered being in the bathroom. She remembered losing a lot of blood in the last couple of days. What she couldn't figure out was why. That's where a doctor's prognosis would be helpful. She was beginning to wonder if any doctors actually worked in the hospital. She tried to sit up but felt weak. She looked down at the tubes running the length of her arm. She looked up at the IV pole and the blood pressure machine and the heart monitor. She looked around to see if she could locate a chart of some sort, something that would tell her why she was here. Nothing. So she gave up and dropped her head gently back to the pillow and closed her eyes. Her eyelids were heavy but she was wide awake. She wanted to see a doctor. But more than a doctor, she wanted Gibbs. She wanted to see his eyes, his silver hair, his hands. She missed him. She didn't want to. She had tried everything to push him out of her head. She had tried extra runs at night, steering clear at crime scenes, and wiping her memory of all things Gibbs. Tried, of course, being the operative word. It hadn't work just as she knew it wouldn't. She wondered if he was suffering as much as she was. If this split was eating him from the inside out just like her. If the days all ran together without a reason to separate. If he ached for her the way her mind, body, and soul ached for him. They had only shared three months. Three months but it had felt like so much more. They had been after each other for three years. She let her mind wander to the memories that she had tried not to think about over the past few months. She thought back to that night on the boat. How nervous she had been, how excited, to hear his voice behind her. She had known right then. She had seen the look in his eyes and had known that that night would be different than all the rest. She smiled to herself and let sleep claim her minutes before the doctor started making his rounds.

Ziva had called to let him know which floor Lizzy was on and to let him know that everything was fine at the office. And by that, Gibbs assumed, she meant that Tony had willingly took over the boss position once again. He smiled when he thought of his senior field agent. He was going to lead a great team someday. Gibbs stepped into the elevator and pressed the number three. He waited patiently as the doors closed and the elevator began its ascent. When the doors opened again, he took a deep breath and stepped out. He walked slowly over to the nurses station, searching for someone who could give him a room number for Lizzy. He stood for a minute waiting for a nurse to appear. A few seconds later, one appeared pushing an IV pole.

"Can I help you?" she said, not bothering to look up at him as she went about her work.

"I'm looking for Lizz—er, Elizabeth Edwards?"

"And you are?" the nurse asked, throwing a questioning look his way.

"I'm Jethro Gibbs, Lizzy's…um, her…" he stammered as he searched for the right word. What the hell was he, he thought. This nurse didn't know him from Adam. What the heck?

"Boyfriend. I'm her boyfriend."

Now the nurses look got even more confused. "Funny,"she said, walking around the counter to look him in the eyes. "There was another gentleman here about an hour ago, said the same thing. Dressed in uniform. So who are you again?"

"I guess that makes me the 'ex' boyfriend. And I'm her boss," Jethro said, shuffling his feet a little.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you not to date a co-worker?" she said, putting her hands on her hips.

"Nope."

"Guess that's why you're the ex,"she said lifting a clipboard from behind the counter. "She's in 215, around the corner."

Gibbs nodded, glad to have finally gotten the information he had wanted. Now if he could just talk his feet into taking him in the right direction. He found Room 215 and raised a hand to knock. Then he dropped his hand to his side. What if she didn't want to see him? What if she blamed him for everything? What if…? And so he stood, staring at her door, waiting for the feeling to come over him that would let him walk through the door without fear. That feeling never came. What did come was the nurse who gave him the room number. She stopped when she saw him standing there, unable to bring himself to even knock on the door. The nurse shook her head and smiled.

"It can't be that bad. And to ease you mind a little, she's asleep. Dropped off about 20 minutes ago. You won't disturb her, I promise." She gave him a pat on the back and a small push forward.

He opened the door slowly, not wanting to make any more noise than absolutely necessary. The room was dark and he moved silently across the floor, letting his eyes adjust to the lack of light. He stood at the foot of her bed and stared at her. She looked so peaceful, he thought. Not a care in the world. He watched the heart monitor as it beeped, recording every beat, every pulse, that echoed in her body. He moved to the chair that sat next to her bed, being extra careful to not to disturb her in any way. He sat for a while just watching her sleep. Eventually he decided it might be safe to take her hand. He reached out and slipped his work worn hand into hers. His thumb began stroking hers and he turned to look at her once more. He wanted to tell her everything that he had been feeling. Everything that had been running through his mind the past couple of months. His mind went through his rolodex of memories and pulled out the one of their first night together. The way her body had fit perfectly against the curve of his boat. The way her innocence tasted on his lips. The way she had held on to him all through the night, always with some part of her touching him. Always touching. Touching. Just like their hands now.

He shifted in his seat so he could look at her face. Her hair was splayed across the pillow and he reached up to gently push away a strand that had escaped the masses. It was then that he noticed the flowers. The same gorgeous display that had been delivered to her desk was now sitting on the table next to her bed. He hadn't noticed them when he had walked in. Who would have had flowers delivered so quickly? Granted, he had driven in circles for a couple of hours, working up the nerve to actually come in but still… He was tempted to look at the card that was peeking out from behind the lilies. He fought with himself for a few minutes before letting curiosity get the better of him. A feat that seemed to happen a lot when he was around her. With one hand still resting in Lizzy's, Gibbs leaned over and eased the card out of its holder. He pulled it out of the envelope and closed his eyes. Did he really want to know what it said? What if it was from him? Of course it was. Who else would they be from? Opening his eyes and looking down, he read what the card said and let out a sigh. 'Hope you feel better soon. Mike' Wow, he thought, this guy must have taken a lot of time to come up with that one. He gently placed the card back in its holder and went back to his favorite past time as of late. He watched her chest rise and fall as he continued stroking the hand that was on top of his. The longer he stared, the more determined he became that he would overcome whatever demons haunted him and whatever ghosts he kept within his heart. He didn't want to forget any of his girls but he wanted to be able to move forward with Lizzy. So while she slept he began making his decisions, deciding how to deal with each of the ghosts that haunted him and had made his relationship with Lizzy so troubled.

He checked his watch and realized that she had slept for almost an hour and a half. It was nearing five o'clock when he gingerly slipped his hand from hers. He stood and stretched, smiling at the woman sleeping in the bed. He couldn't believe he had almost lost her. Almost lost her not once, but twice. And in such a short amount of time. He shook his head. No wonder he was so damn protective of her. But he needed to curb that too, he knew, or this would fail again. Suddenly he knew that there was something he needed to say to her. He leaned in close to her ear and whispered.

"You know, Lizzy, I heard once that you're supposed to grow old with someone, not because of them," he said nuzzling her neck, loving the feeling of being close to her again.

"Is that an offer, Agent Gibbs?"

Jethro pulled back from her neck in surprise. Her eyes barely open, Lizzy reached out and grasped his hand. He squeezed it back and sat on the edge of the bed.

"I thought you were still sleeping."

"So you thought while I was sleeping would be a good time to slip in a DiNozzo movie reference?"

He chuckled and shook his head. She smiled at him and held fast to his hand, pulling him closer as he started talking.

"Movie reference? Me? Never."

She couldn't help the laugh that bubbled up inside of her. It was good to see him smile again. Good to hear herself laugh again. But she knew the laughter was short lived. She knew his feelings for her hadn't changed or her orders to ship out. It was all a little surreal. She wanted to stay locked in this bubble with him for a while.

"Did you talk to the doctor yet?" Gibbs asked, trying not to let his face give away too much. She still wasn't aware that he knew about the baby and he wanted her to tell him in her own way, in her own time.

"Actually, I've come to the conclusion that no real doctors are allowed in."

"Really?" he said, grinning at her sarcasm.

"Really. I've had nothing but nurses and I've even seen a ME walk by once or twice which is not exactly a calming sight, let me tell you."

"Are you feeling any better?"

"If by better you mean wracked with pain, having stitches that itch like hell and looking like death warmed over, then yes I am definitely better."

"Smartass."

"I thought you always liked my ass."

"Still do," he said with a big smile. He loved seeing her like this. The old Lizzy. The one that played, and teased, and flirted. He felt a warmth in his chest. He looked at her. Stared at her.

"I don't look that bad do I?"

"Terrible."

"Thanks for that."

"Actually I was wondering if they allowed conjugal visits here…" he said, his eyes twinkling, knowing he never should have said it but waiting to see the reaction all the same.

"Are you…curious?"

"As the cat."

She smiled and pulled him closer to her. She met his eyes and saw the old sparkle. The sparkle that had pulled her closer and closer to the edge for three years before she dove headfirst into unknown waters. All of a sudden she found herself wondering if they did allow conjugal visits here. But she stopped herself. Just because he was here, just because she felt like nothing had changed between them, it had. He still didn't know about the baby and nothing changed the fact that he had left her. Decided what was in her best interest. Her best interests being nothing that had to do with him. He pulled back slightly when he saw the look in her eyes change.

"I've got a few things to take care of. When you manage to handcuff a doctor to the bed, call me," he said, knowing that he had to leave and start the plan that had already been forming in his mind. His plan to erase the demons from his mind and put the ghosts to rest.

"Are you sure?"

Instead of an answer he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. She resisted only a second. Her lips parted for him and he didn't need a second invitation. He deepened the kiss, moving closer to her on the bed. Her whole body warmed to his kiss. This is what she wanted. Every day. For the rest of her life. She just had to figure out how to let him in on the secret. They broke apart only out of a desperation for oxygen. He reached up and stroked her face.

"Call me when they discharge you."

She nodded and he leaned in to give her one more short kiss before standing. He made it past the nurses station, through the automatic doors and to his car before he allowed himself to breathe. She hadn't resisted him. She had pulled him closer. He pulled slowly out of the hospital parking lot, grinning like a damned Cheshire cat.

A/N: So sorry it took SO long. Besides being one REALLY awful couple of weeks, I just couldn't get the words to flow onto the screen. So I put pen to paper and it just started racing out of me. And I know I said only one more chapter but I'm just gonna stop saying that because every time I do, my mind decides to get…curious. So as long as nobody's getting too bored I'm gonna keep marching ahead. Semper Fi.