Chapter Three:

Face-To-Face

Infantile love follows the principle: "I love because I am loved."
Mature love follows the principle: "I am loved because I love."
Immature love says: "I love you because I need you."
Mature love says: "I need you because I love you."

-Erich Fromm

Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar.

It is quite easy in a way to describe the passing of five years. As a young child, I did not realize how speedily time moves on by me. Life settles into a routine and it is hard for one to look beyond that. I found myself training with my father and on occasion with Iroh. My bond to my father and uncle-figure in Iroh was as close as ever. Even a relationship, however formal, was formed with Princess Ursa. She became to me the only mother figure I would ever know. She only ever brought her son with her to Iroh's quarters in the palace. She had a daughter by the name of Azula only months after my own arrival. I saw the babe before she could even walk and had marveled over her.

I had not been around an infant before. By the time Princess Azula was able to walk and speak proficiently enough, that was when she no longer came with her mother. Princess Azula had the eyes of a child who is alert with sharp intelligence. I never found out the reason for why she no longer came. My father kept me cloistered in the part of the palace where Iroh was quartered. I rarely, if ever, had a glimpse of Prince Ozai or his bodyguard Tadao. I heeded my father's command. There was an air about both men that spoke of power and not only in firebending.

Prince Zuko, unlike his sister, usually came with Princess Ursa. He would spend time with Lu Ten, following him around as I once had. Prince Zuko was the stubborn sort of child and prone to feel his emotions passionately. He worshipped his father, admired his uncle, saw a brother figure in Lu Ten, and loved, but envied his baby sister. Most of all he loved his mother. Princess Azula was a prodigy and had their father's favor while he did not. Sometimes the four of them would go to the Royal Family's vacationing house on Ember Island. Father told me that Iroh used to go there with them or sometimes just with Lu Ten. Father always accompanied him of course. But not anymore. Iroh had not gone there since I had arrived. I thought myself to be the reason. Father and Iroh did not want any attention brought on to me. It would not be safe until I was truly Lu Ten's bodyguard. All of my life I knew that this is what I was training for. I had not questioned it for I wanted it. He had been family to me…once I had known him better than anyone in the world. Lu Ten used to call me "little one" in jest with a particular affection.

I had worshipped him.

That was how it had been before I went to the Society. After my return five years ago…things were different. Formal. Distant. It was as if my childhood playmate had vanished, leaving only traces of himself in his appearance. Lu Ten was constantly in training and academical pursuits. It was presumed that one day he would be the Fire Lord for Iroh was the Crown Prince. Lu Ten was several years older than me and was no longer a boy. Our encounters were brief and almost always in the accompaniment of father or Iroh, creating even more ways to avoid conversation with each other. I did not understand this, but it infused bitter anger within me. Thus I avoided him in retaliation for his own staunch rejection of me!

I believed that he...that he hated me.

As for my own training, I had received the best for my arts at the Society. Father only took what they had begun and polished it into something more. Sometimes Iroh would join in on my training. I did not only learn to hone my firebending, but my mind as well. Reading people is an innate skill to have as a bodyguard, especially the ability to read lips. The Society teaches the basics for fighting with firebending to armed combat. They teach of discretion, scanning a crowd to scoping a place. The basics are who, what, when, where, and how. My kin, such as my father, had even more specialized training for that of a Royal. I was to receive this as he had. And who better then a man who did this every waking moment? It is different to protect a Royal in the palace. There is always a danger lurking about that is not visible. But one must always be ready.

Father taught me that the protection of the charge is the most important. Yet there came other responsibilities with protecting a Royal Heir. One day that Royal will get married and have children. Then the duties extend to protecting them. The charge is always first though. They come in second. I found it frustrating in a way to know that only males of the Royal Family get an individual bodyguard. Their wives or daughters do not. The Fire Nation's views about the place of a woman have changed in the last hundred years because of the war. The Society has always had us in their ranks. Father told me that I was different and special unlike any other before me. None grow up with their charge, outside of the yearly visits. None are raised in an environment where they can be themselves. I was loved and allowed to love. This led me to ask once why he did not speak about his family…

At the age of ten, only a year after my return, I had begun to express myself freely again. Not that I could not put up a mask when I needed to. Father was drilling me in a routine practice on learning to read lips when I suddenly asked. "Why don't you talk about your family?"

Father stopped and gave me an annoyed smile. "You are my family."

"I don't get it!" I snapped, letting out my frustration at last. "Why do you teach me things against what the Society says? Why don't you talk about your family, this family which is supposed to have protected the Royal Family for generations? Why don't you talk about Tadao….he's your brother!?"

I did not know anything about this great family I was supposed to be a part of. I did not know anything about who my father had been before me. My father let out a long sigh. "That is a lot of questions, Keiya." He responded with brooding eyes. "I do not know if you are mature enough to understand these things."

That word…mature….I had claimed once that I would come back that way. Not that he cared at all now. "I am ready," I insisted. "Tell me!"

Father shook his head. "That demand to know reveals you are not."

"Will you eventually tell me?"

"When you are ready," He answered me softly with a pat on the head. "Now let us get back to what we were doing."

I was lucky to have my father to train me. I did not understand completely why at the time, but I do now. Yet I wonder if it was not also a curse….

Father had network already in place in the Royal Palace that would one day be passed on to me. Another blessing. Any other new bodyguard for a Royal in the past would have had to establish their own. I knew the palace inside and out, except for certain areas belonging to other members of the Royal family of course. Except for my natural curiosity for those questions, I was entirely content with my life. I had my family again…almost. My training was difficult, but it gave me pleasure with every passing victory and achievement. I am not a firebending prodigy like Princess Azula. But neither am I weak. The age of fourteen is the earliest age when one can become a bodyguard. At the age of fourteen and soon approaching fifteen within months, I wanted it. I believed myself to be ready.

One day, while mulling over this desire in meditation, I sat by the favorite pond of Iroh and Princess Ursa. I was underneath the pavilion, enjoying the shade from the radiant sun. The dark wood was cool underneath me. Warm, humid air breathed around me; reminding me of the scorching sun. I opened my eyes at the sound of two familiar footsteps along the nearby path.

Princess Ursa and Prince Zuko.

She strolled along in her usually elegant garb and Zuko in his stiffer looking outfit. Red colored as always. I tended to wear simple outfits of darker shades that were easy to maneuver in and generic. My father did the same. Princess Ursa smiled at me as she steered towards my direction. Seven year old Prince Zuko had a sour expression on his face. I stood up immediately and bowed. Ursa was a woman I was in awe of and one of the only members of my own sex I had any association with. Formality was a basic of our relationship and our encounters usually in the accompaniment of others: meaning Iroh, father, and sometimes Lu Ten.

"Hello Keiya," She greeted warmly.

"Your Highness," I responded with a nod. She was a beautiful woman. I wondered if I would ever hold a candle to her in comparison.

"Say hello Zuko," She said sternly to her son. She held his small hand in her own while he looked at me sulkily.

"Hello," He muttered annoyed.

Princess Ursa held an apologetic smile. "Forgive him," She explained, "He's in a bad mood because he forgot Nira's name when she swore her oath."

Nira?....That name had been my mother's! What was she talking about? "I'm sorry, but I have no idea of what you're talking about." The way I spoke had tortured Keitaro almost more than my mouth had. He could not cure me of my "improper" speech for a bodyguard. Father did not have a problem with my speech. I had learned to control my mouth now. For the most part that is.

Princess Ursa appeared startled. "Oh? I had thought…." She paused with a genuine frown. "Nira is to be Zuko's bodyguard. She came to swear her formal oath today."

This meant that this girl, Nira, was my kin through my father. It was his family, our family, which had protected the Royal Heirs for generations! I pondered over why she had that name. "Is she still here?" I asked hopefully, curious to meet her. Around Princess Ursa and Prince Zuko I was comfortable enough to show my emotions freely.

"No, she left with Keitaro," She answered me with a thoughtful expression. "She has the most unusual color of eyes." Ursa looked down at her son who was scuffing the ground in boredom. "What did you think Zuko?"

"Next time she better want to play!" He snapped. "She was so…." He huffed and tugged his hand from his mother's. Prince Zuko stalked off towards the pond before us.

She had mentioned Keitaro.

"He wasn't happy with the idea of a bodyguard," Princess Ursa added with eyes on her son, "Even now at this age he wants to prove himself strong."

"Because of his father?" I blurted out. Ursa made it easy to talk to her…too easy at times. She seemed startled but not angered. No matter what, I had a mouth.

"Yes," She admitted quietly.

My mind was centered on the person she had mentioned. "You said Keitaro was with her?" I questioned, changing the topic.

She nodded gracefully. "Yes," She responded in her silken voice. "He appeared to be in good health." I considered how well she knew Keitaro. He was the Guardian after all. Most of the Royals knew little about the ways of the Society. They liked it that way.

I gave her a cautious smile. "Did you know he is the Guardian?" I queried innocently.

"Of course."

"Of course," I murmured. Somehow I was not surprised.

"That girl has a nice name," Ursa commented in her musical voice. "Did you know that it means loom?"

As in the devise weavers used? I found that peculiar, but Nira was a solid Fire Nation name. It is not too common and it is not to unusual either. Somehow the meaning almost seemed fitting to me. My mother….for the first time in years since early childhood I thought about her. Who was she? Ursa's kind gaze looked at me in concern. "No, I didn't," I replied swiftly. I looked away from her considerate eyes. "Excuse me, Your Highness," I said with a bow.

Ursa smiled eloquently. "Good day Keiya." I walked away quickly, confused by one simple thing. Why did hearing my mother's name bother me?

Over the next few months I was harassed by that one delightful thing. It irked me and I did not know why. Life continued as it had for the last five years. I trained. Father and Iroh were always there. And Lu Ten…it was still the same formal distance. Then there came the day when I discovered that I would be alone for father and Iroh were leaving…

I was sitting on one of the couches in Iroh's general living space, reading over a document of Iroh's about strategic warfare. He had some bland books of that type. Father's familiar footsteps greeted me as he entered the room. His golden eyes were distant as he sat down next to me. I set the book aside with a twinge of suspicion. "What is it, dad?"

His face turned towards me and it was hard. "Iroh and I are leaving," He stated coldly.

"What?" I gasped. "Why?" This could not be happening! I needed them!

Father's face twisted into a dark smile. "The war, Keiya. Iroh is going to the warfront."

"But…."

Father's eyes were embroiled with feeling. "He is a general. Iroh has been planning this for months," He paused. "He is going to capture Ba Sing Se."

I almost gasped. I knew of the impenetrable capital city of the Earth Kingdom. Who did not? The war has always seemed a distant thing to me. Here in the Royal Palace it barely touched me. Now…now it was taking two important people from me. I had not ever thought much about the war, but now it filled me with a sense of dread. Iroh had done other military campaigns of course. They had all been before I could remember or possibly in my absence. "Can't you stay?" I asked with a slight plea.

"No. I am his bodyguard."

I turned my head away to hide my troubled face. I pushed away the thought of never seeing him again or Iroh. "Please don't go."

"I have to, Keiya."

"When are you leaving?"

"At the end of the week," Father said quietly. "After I leave Keitaro will come here."

This made my head snap back in his direction. "Why?" That man….my uncle…I hated him!

"He is going initiate you."

I paused and took in his words. I…I was going to be made a true bodyguard at last! I threw my arms around my father in jubilation. He held me in his arms. "I am sorry I will not be here to see it," Father said regretfully. "Eventually you will join us. Lu Ten will come to serve in his first true campaign under Iroh."

I looked up at my father's face and saw the proud glint in his eyes. "I am proud of you Keiya."

I hugged him back in response, basking in the glorious future that awaited me. I ignored my fears for my father and Iroh. Soon I was going to be a bodyguard and would join them in the Earth Kindom. Lu Ten….I was going to be with him again.

That last week before they left I spent with father and Iroh as much as possible. Iroh had been humorous as always, not letting any worry come to expression. He was an experienced general, but never the less I still worried for him. The last day I was in the room I shared with my father, sitting on my bed and staring at his. He would be gone soon. "Keiya?" His voice called out. He stood at the doorway and walked over to sit down beside me. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah…I'm just worried."

"Do not be," He said while mussing my hair. "I have not lived this long unscathed to die now."

I scowled and brushed his hand away. He knew I hated it when he did that. "Dad, before you go…will you tell me about my mother?" Father took in a sharp intake of breath. "Princess Ursa told me about Zuko's bodyguard. She…she has mother's name. Did you know about her?"

"Yes," Father admitted while looking straight ahead. His eyes were distant. "Keitaro gave her that name."

"Why?"

"I do not know," Father responded tightly. "Your mother was his sister, keep that in mind."

"Why don't you talk about her?" I demanded.

Father looked at me with pained eyes. "You have her eyes," He said in a thickened voice. "Every time I look at you I am reminded of her." Keitaro had said something similar to me once. "She was like you in a lot of ways."

"How did you know her?"

"We grew up together in the Society. Keitaro was only a year older then her. We were all friends once," Father explained while looking back at me at last. "She died to bring you into this world. You are all I have left of her."

I looked at him, pondering over his words. "I wish I could have known her."

"She would be proud of you," Father said with a sincere smile. "Now come, we must be getting to the docks." He rose to his feet without another word and I followed.

At the docks there was a truly grand ship, military wise, for Iroh. I assumed he had already had a fanfare goodbye from his father, the Fire Lord, and the rest of his family. It was on the dock that I discreetly said goodbye. "I'm going to miss you," I said truthfully, giving him a quick hug.

Iroh beamed at me. "Keep an eye on Lu Ten for me," He said warmly, "Little turtle-duck and don't forget to make sure that the gardener tends to my garden!" His dark golden eyes, the same as Lu Ten's, were alight. "I'm proud of you," He continued, "Soon you'll be joining us with my son, so don't be sad." I lowered my eyes. Was it that obvious? I hugged him once more and turned to my father.

"Be good," He said simply while hugging me. "I will see you soon." That was a lie. I would not see him again for months!

I smiled. "I love you dad."

His face split into a fatherly grin, chasing away his mask. "I love you too." Then he slipped away with Iroh onto the ship. Lu Ten had already said goodbye to them. It was like he avoided me in every way possible! The great iron ship cut through the water, eventually disappearing in the blue horizon. I watched from the dock till it was no longer in my sight.

Three weeks passed without a sight of Lu Ten. Sometimes I would see him slipping into his quarters, but I never did catch him. I trained by myself and almost went crazy with the absence of father and Iroh. It was weird for them to be gone. It was too silent. The only company I did have was the occasional run-ins with Princess Ursa. Other than that, I kept to myself as I always had. Then eventually Keitaro came. It was only two days after my birthday that had passed without any notice. Usually father and Iroh would celebrate it with me….

He had slipped into the room I had shared with father, startling me with his slippery entrance. I looked up to his profile standing at the door, watching me with icy eyes. He had not changed a day. "You should be more on guard," he said at last, breaking the frigid silence between us.

"I knew you were there," I said back calmly as I rose to my feet from my bed. Keitaro knew I was lying but he did not express that.

"Let us get this done with," He replied placidly. "I want to be on my way as soon as possible."

I nodded in acknowledgement.

"Where is your charge?"

"I…I don't know," I admitted, loathing to say theoe words to him. "He's probably training."

Keitaro's face was filled with a tense victory. "I see," He said with disgust. "Let us find him then."

Luckily, Lu Ten was in his quarters. He opened the door with widened eyes when Keiataro knocked on it. I realized that this was the closest I had been to Lu Ten since….

He was a man now. There was no childhood roundness left on his limbs. His wide shoulders had filled out at last. His dark hair was in a top-knot with new sideburns I had not seen before. The eyes were guarded when they met mine. "Who are you?" He asked simply.

"Keitaro."

Lu Ten's face acknowledged him. "Father told me about you. Come in." He opened the door wider and Keitaro went in. I followed behind him. Lu Ten shut the door behind us. Lu Ten's room had changed since I had last been it. Not since…not since before the Society. It was no longer a child's room.

Keitaro immediately took charge. "You know the words, Keiya?" He questioned.

"Yes."

"Then get this done with," He said shortly. He bowed to Lu Ten. "May she continue?"

He looked at me with unflinching dark golden eyes. Lu Ten…He nodded sharply. I knelt before him and looked down at the ground as I had done once…at the age of six years old. I recited the same words as I had then. "My body and my mind are your shield and weapon. I swear my oath to serve you loyally. I am your protection. I am the life that would die for you. I exist to serve you. I will always follow you." I looked up at Lu Ten as the last words fell from my lips.

"Thank you Keiya." He said elegantly. "I know you will serve me well."

I rose to my feet and looked at Keitaro. His dark eyes were unreadable. "It is done. You have the status of a full bodyguard." He turned without another word to leave.

"Will I see you again?" I called out.

He did not turn to face me. "You better hope not." Keitaro left without another word, silently and as quietly as he had come.

I looked over at Lu Ten's face, seeing a mask there similar to that of Keitaro. Something pained my throat all of a sudden. The room became too small and I felt very alone. I did not know what to say to him. My mouth was at long last stilled by not being able to say anything.

"You told me once you would come back a mature bodyguard," Lu Ten said abruptly, almost making me jump out of my shoes. I looked at his guarded face. "You did come back changed."

"Is that why you avoided me?" I retorted. I clasped my hand over my mouth in horror. Had I really just said that?...Stupid! Stupid!

Lu Ten's face broke from his proper demeanor into one of surprise. He held himself in a straight trained posture. One of a warrior. "You were the one who avoided me!" He snapped in return. His voice….his face…was marred with pain.

"I only did it in return because you did! You….you had changed!" I started to respond with a rising voice. In the last minute we had exchanged more words then we had in years. "You acted like you hate me!"

Lu Ten looked at me in shock. "You think I hate you?"

"Yes!" I bellowed. I was stunned by my own intense reaction. Why was I acting this way?

"I don't hate you," Lu Ten replied in a low voice. "I had thought that the girl I loved as a sister was gone."

I turned away to brush away frustrated tears from my eyes, lest he see them. He did not hate me! I was ecstatic to know this but knew there was some sort of resentment. Why else would he have acted that way? "I have to go," I muttered, trying to keep my voice from blubbering. I exited the room without a backward glance. I had to think…to take in his words. Yet somehow his earnest words, "girl I had loved as a sister" penetrated me with a prickling needle of dislike.

A/N: Keiya has started to grow up at last and now how will things go with it only being her and Lu Ten? Well, thanks for reading and please review. I am wondering if the characters from the show, such as Iroh and Ursa seem to be in character enough?