Chapter 29: And Major Lorne?
"Sabina?" I looked up from my work to see John standing in the doorway. I knew immediately that something was very wrong. Since the rest of my team were out on a routine mission to escort Doctor Lindsay to 177 my first thought was for them.
"What happened?" I asked in concern. "Is it Major Lorne?"
"Doctor Lindsay reported that there was a problem during the mission," John admitted. "When we got there the building they were in had been torched to the ground."
"Parker? Brown?" I swallowed hard, already knowing the answer.
"Dead," John put a hand on my shoulder.
"And Evan?" I whispered.
"I'm sorry Sabina," John said softly.
"But they were just here," I protested in disbelief.
"I found Major Lorne's dog tags in the ashes ... they're gone." John killed the hope I'd been trying to generate.
"But ..." I broke off my protest, tears brimming in my eyes. "Why?" I asked tearfully.
"I don't know but I sent Ronan and Teyla back there and we will find out," John promised, anger still faintly present in his voice.
"What are you going to be doing?" Major Lorne was one of John's men - usually he wouldn't have stopped until he'd punished the person who'd done this.
"Ladon Radim just contacted us," John replied. "Says he's got a ZPM to give us - Doctor Weir wants me around to deal with him."
"I should have been there," I said sickly. John knew immediately that I was talking about the fact that I'd opted out of the routine mission in favour of progressing research on project Imperium.
"There was nothing you could have done," John denied. "We will get to the bottom of this." I could see he didn't want to say it but we were both feeling equal parts relief that I hadn't been there and guilt for being glad about anything when the rest of my team was gone.
"I want to help," I said fiercely.
"Ronan and Teyla have already left," John said. "If they need help when they return I'll let you know." I nodded and silence descended between us. John was watching me carefully, probably waiting for me to break down in tears - I was a little surprised myself that I hadn't already. Maybe all the times John had been in danger had made me more resilient in situations like this ... more probably it just hadn't hit me yet.
"You okay?" he asked in concern.
"No," I said starkly. "But I will be once we've punished the people who did this."
"I have to get back to the Control Room - we're sending a MALP through before we let anyone go search Ladon." John said. "Call me if you need me ... okay?" I nodded silently, watching numbly as John walked away.
Turning back to my laptop I tried very hard to lose myself in my work but my mind was spinning at a 100 miles an hour. Why would someone want to kill Evan and the others? It just didn't make sense! Realising I would get nothing further done that afternoon I headed instead to the gym. Hitting the punching bag for a bit should get rid of some of the frustration I was feeling.
I was still there when Doctor Beckett came down to see me.
"I thought you'd be here," Carson said. "I wanted to tell you straight away - it's not them. I don't know who those people are but it's not Major Lorne or the other members of your team."
"It's not?" I said in confusion. "Why would someone want to trick us into thinking they were dead?"
"I don't know lass," Carson admitted uneasily.
"So Lorne, Parker and Brown could all be alive somewhere," I realised, feeling almost weak with relief. "What are we doing to find them?"
"Teyla and Ronan have gone back to 177 to investigate," Carson said. "I'm going to perform a full autopsy on the bodies – maybe they can shed some light on the situation too."
"Good ... thanks for letting me know Carson." I said gratefully.
"They're your team," Carson pointed out. "I knew you'd be upset and I thought you should know as soon as possible."
"Have you told Colonel Sheppard?" I asked curiously.
"No lass," Doctor Beckett admitted. "He's busy with Ladon Radim – they're up in Doctor Weir's office right now actually."
"Better not interrupt them then," I decided. "I'll wait until Teyla and Ronan get back."
Doctor Beckett and I went our separate ways. Now that my mood had improved with the news that there was still hope the rest of my team were still alive I felt able to return to my work.
"Sabina, this is Sheppard," John called me over the radio.
"Hey," I replied immediately. "What's happening?"
"I just wanted to let you know Rodney and I are heading to the Genii home world," John said. "Elizabeth wants us to alert them to Ladon's plan as a show of good faith for our truce. I'll catch up with you when we get back."
"Okay," I said. "Good luck." It was only after John had signed off that I realised I hadn't told him the bodies in the infirmary weren't Lorne and the others. Doctor Weir would surely have told him though so I didn't think on it again.
Only a short time later John contacted me by radio again to tell me he was back from the Genii home world but that he was heading out again to M6R 867. That was the planet where Ladon had hidden the ZPM and John and a strike team were going in to raid the warehouse. John made it sound like a relatively easy mission and I wished him good luck as always.
When the Gateroom alarm sounded I headed down, hoping it was Teyla and Ronan. Instead a group of Genii soldiers came through the gate ... although they all looked very weak and tired. I found it hard to believe any of these people were actually soldiers. I stood off to the side as Doctor Weir went to greet them.
"Doctor Weir," a young blood woman said in greeting.
"That's right," Doctor Weir confirmed.
"I am Dahlia Radim," the woman replied, offering a hand to Doctor Weir.
"Radim?" Doctor Weir questioned, shaking Dahlia's hand.
"Yes," Dahlia confirmed. "I am Ladon's sister." She looked around before continuing. "Where are our supplies?"
"Where is our ZPM?" Doctor Weir countered.
"Ladon will send it through once we have returned to our world safely," Dahlia said tiredly.
"I thought you might say that," Doctor Weir replied. She turned to nod at the marines surrounding the Genii group. The sound of rifles being primed echoed through the gate room ... the marines aimed at the Genii who all looked around as if startled by their changed circumstances.
"What's going on?" Dahlia asked in confusion.
"I'm sorry, but you're being temporarily detained," Doctor Weir informed her, turning aside and activating her headset radio. "Colonel?"
"Go ahead," John's voice came through, indicating that he was somewhere on the other side of the wormhole.
"You have a go," Doctor Weir said
"Understood," John confirmed before closing the connection.
Doctor Weir turned back to the group of Genii and suggested they all find a spot to wait.
"Doctor Weir," I approached her quietly. "These people ... they're not soldiers. Look at them – some of them can barely stand!"
"Ladon admitted his forces were few and not part of the elite guard," Doctor Weir said with a worried frown. "There's nothing we can do until Colonel Sheppard returns."
It seemed that as soon as the gate had shut down it was opening again ... this time it was Ronan and Teyla.
"How did it go?" Doctor Weir asked as she walked over to them.
"What did we miss?" Ronan asked, looking curiously around the Gateroom.
"We have some guests," Doctor Weir said simply.
"Yeah, I can see that," Ronan pointed out the obvious.
"Doctor Weir," Teyla broke into the conversation. "There is something you need to see." Teyla glanced at me and added "you should see this too Sabina."
"Let's go to my office," Doctor Weir suggested, turning and leading the way up the steps.
Once seated at Doctor Weir's desk Ronon wordlessly laid out a number of photographs of various members of Atlantis off world teams.
"What's all this?" Doctor Weir asked with a frown.
"It's a wanted list," Ronan said. "We figure it's on as many worlds as there are languages on the photos."
"Who would do that?" Doctor Weir questioned.
"We are not sure, but the planet where Lorne's team disappeared is quite poor," Teyla offered. "It is conceivable they gave up Lorne and his men for some sort of reward."
"To who?" Doctor Weir asked.
"And why aren't we on it?" Ronan added.
"Excuse me?" Doctor Weir raised an eyebrow at Ronan.
"Sheppard's on the list; McKay is on the list," Ronan pointed to each picture. "Why aren't Teyla and me?"
"What, you're feeling left out?!" Doctor Weir asked incredulously.
"I just wanna know who thinks I'm not a threat and give 'em a chance to change their mind," Ronan smiled in a predatory fashion.
"The gene," I said, looking carefully at all the photographs. "Everyone in these pictures has the gene."
"The gene of the Ancestors?" Teyla asked.
"Yes." I agreed. "Naturally or not, all these men possess the ATA gene."
"But why would someone want people simply because they possess a certain kind of gene?" Teyla asked with a puzzled expression.
"Maybe they think it will hurt our ability to operate the city," Doctor Weir suggested.
"Why only the men then?" I asked. "There are women on off world teams who have the gene too – myself included. None of our pictures are here."
"That does not make sense," Teyla agreed. She turned to Doctor Weir and said "I suggest you call these men back if they are off world."
"Unfortunately most of these guys are on an operation with Sheppard right now," Doctor Weir admitted. "We're raiding Ladon's warehouse and stealing back the ZPM. We detained most of his team when they came here to pick up the weapons we offered them. Once Sheppard and the team get back, I will suspend all their off world activity until we can get to the bottom of this."
"Doctor Weir, please report to the Infirmary," Doctor Beckett contacted Doctor Weir over the radio.
"On my way, Carson," Doctor Weir stood up immediately. Glancing at Teyla and Ronon she said "this is probably about the bodies. You two should come along."
Happy to leave them to whatever gruesome discovery Doctor Beckett had made in his autopsy I went back down to the Gateroom to see if I could find out more from the Genii.
"You're not a soldier are you?" I questioned the young woman, Dahlia.
"No," she admitted reluctantly. "I'm a scientist, like my brother."
"Why did you come here posing as a soldier then?" I looked at her closely, noticing again how weak and tired she seemed.
"I am ... unwell," Dahlia admitted. "Our doctors can do nothing ... this was something I could do for my people before I am gone."
"This is a suicide mission?" I asked, horrified.
"We are all dying, yes," Dahlia confirmed.
"And your brother let you do this?" my tone was openly disbelieving.
"He wasn't happy," Dahlia admitted. "But in the end it was my decision."
"We have medical facilities here," I offered. "Perhaps there's something we can do."
Dahlia shook her head tiredly, clearly long past the point of retaining any hope that her situation could be improved. I turned away and tapped my headset radio.
"Doctor Weir, this is Sabina," I said quietly.
"Go ahead," Doctor Weir responded.
"I've been speaking with Dahlia Radim," I said quickly. "These people aren't Genii soldiers – they're sick ... they all came here to die."
"Doctor Beckett just worked out the corpses were dead before they were burned," Doctor Weir admitted. "They all died of radiation related ailments."
"Can we have Doctor Beckett look at Dahlia and the others?" I asked.
"Of course," Doctor Weir agreed. "Can you see them escorted to the infirmary?"
"Okay," I agreed before signing off. I motioned for one of the marines to assist me in rounding up the Genii into a group and leading them down to the infirmary. It took a while to get them all settled in – I stayed with Dahlia until Doctor Beckett had examined her, leaving when it was clear that Carson wanted to speak to her privately.
I made it back up to the Control Room in time to hear the last part of Doctor Weir's conversation with someone on the other side of the open wormhole. Standing beside Ronan I listened to the words that told me John was in trouble – again!
"Why are you doing this Cowen?" Doctor Weir demanded angrily.
"The Genii people need the Lantean ships you call Jumpers," an arrogant male voice responded. "I believe you have ten of them. You have one hour to bring them all here."
"And if I don't?" Doctor Weir asked quietly.
"We will kill one of your team every fifteen minutes until our demands are met," Cowan said in a voice that very convincingly said he would follow through on his threat. "Oh, and we will be starting with Colonel Sheppard."
The connection was severed, leaving an unhappy silence in the Control Room. I looked across at Doctor Weir and felt my heart sink at her troubled expression.
"We're not giving them any Jumpers are we?" I asked in a small voice so that only Ronan would hear.
"Won't do any good," Ronan pointed out. "They're not planning on letting anyone out of there."
"I'm gonna go get some air," I told Ronan, not wanting to hang around and be the focus of everyone's concern. "I'll be back in an hour."
After walking aimlessly around the city I made it back to the Control Room to find that the Genii had already made contact. Doctor Weir was speaking to Cowan, clearly already frustrated with the direction the conversation had taken.
"I don't think you understand," Doctor Weir said. "Most of your people can be cured, including Ladon's sister." She said it like it was a gift they should be grateful to receive.
"Oh, I understand," Cowan said lightly. "What you need to understand is, I don't care."
"What?" Doctor Weir said disbelievingly.
"I think you're playing for time, Doctor Weir." Cowan replied.
"Your people can be cured," Doctor Weir tried to reason with him again. "Now let me return them to you and let them live out the rest of their lives with their families on their home world."
"The Genii need those Jumpers," Cowan ignored her statement completely. "Until you are prepared to part with them, this conversation is over."
"You kill one of my people and we are in a state of war," Doctor Weir threatened harshly.
"Oh, yes, yes!" Cowan actually had the audacity to laugh. "I - well, I don't quite know how I'll live with myself," he said sarcastically.
Everyone in the Control Room was silent as we realised the great plan to swap their people for ours was dead in the water. Before anyone could say anything Cowan spoke again.
"I will contact you again in fifteen minutes, so you can decide whether you would like Doctor McKay to live," Cowan said grimly. "In the meantime, you have forfeited the life of Colonel Sheppard."
"NO!" I yelled, at the same time that Doctor Weir was yelling "Cowen, wait!"
We were both too late though because Cowan had already turned his radio off. The wormhole did not disengage, meaning that radio frequencies were still being transmitted ... just nothing that meant anything to all of us waiting to hear more.
Conscious of everyone looking at me I turned and quickly left the Control Room. I didn't want to go far from the gate just in case ... I don't know what ... I just felt better staying near the open wormhole. John was still alive on the other side until I heard otherwise. I didn't even notice when the shield was lowered ... the first I realised that the situation had changed was when Doctor Weir came running down the stairs. I jumped up and followed her down the last few steps. A group of marines, including my missing team walked through the gate with the Genii soldiers first, followed closely by Rodney who waved reassuringly at Doctor Weir.
"Rodney!" Doctor Weir exclaimed happily.
"It's Ladon," Rodney explained. "He's letting us go in exchange for his people."
"Ladon's in charge?!" Doctor Weir asked in confusion.
"Yeah, he's about to be." Rodney confirmed.
"He really was planning a coup." Doctor Weir made the revelation.
"Apparently we're a part of the plan," Rodney pointed out.
"And John?" I asked Rodney hesitantly.
"Alive and on his way back as we speak," Rodney said happily.
"That's ... good," I said lamely. "I just need to ..." I broke off, fighting my emotions. Looking miserably at both of them I turned and walked quickly from the Gateroom. I didn't pause when Major Lorne touched my arm in greeting – I just smiled my relief that he was okay as I walked past.
I'd used up most of my tears by the time John finally found me. Usually he had no trouble working out which of our favourite spots I'd retreated to but this time I'd picked the Wraith weapons room as the least likely place to look. I'd also blocked myself off from the sensors and switched my radio off too.
"You're a hard woman to track down," John said lightly, lowering himself to sit beside me, back resting against the wall.
"Maybe because I didn't want to be tracked down," I said in a quiet serious voice.
"It wasn't as bad as it sounded," John didn't pretend to not know why I'd felt the need to retreat for a while.
"Obviously," I said with a bit of heat. "It sounded like you were dead."
"Ladon was never gonna shoot me," John protested. 'It was all a ruse to lure Cowen to that planet."
"It would have been nice if he'd shared that with us," I said sarcastically. "I could have saved myself ten minutes of planning your memorial service!"
"Sabina," John chided me.
"NO!" I yelled suddenly, jumping up and striding away from him. "You're not gonna charm your way out of it this time! Do you know how many times you've almost been killed since I've known you?"
"Is this necessary?" John tried to side track me. He got to his feet and reached out a hand to me but I ignored it, and his comment.
"DO YOU?!" I yelled.
"No but I'm pretty sure you're about to tell me," John muttered uncomfortably.
"FIFTEEN TIMES!" I yelled again. "Fifteen."
"I didn't realise it was so many," John admitted reluctantly.
"That's because you're not the one waiting here while someone you love is in mortal danger," I retorted in an angry voice. "And okay some of those happened before we were together but just in the time since we got back from Earth it's been like seven times when you could have gotten killed."
"Could have," John pointed out. "I'm perfectly okay!"
"Yeah ... now," I agreed. "But what about next time, or the time after that? What if your luck runs out?"
"Some of those times weren't as bad as they must have seemed from this side of the gate," John tried to excuse his actions.
"Being three seconds away from Teyla shooting the Thalen version of you," I retorted. "Flying too close to the corona sphere in an F302; practically turning into an iratus bug," my chin wobbled at that last one. "Those are the ones I was there for and they all were as bad as they seemed!"
"Do you want me to give up my job?" John frowned in confusion.
"Of course not," I denied irritably. "Your job defines you ... I'd never ask you to give that up."
"Then what are you trying to say?" John asked with a bit of heat in his voice.
"I don't want to do this anymore," I said wearily, turning away and holding a tired hand across my forehead.
"You don't want to do what anymore?" John demanded angrily. "Us? – You don't want to do 'us' anymore?"
"I DON'T KNOW," I yelled, looking back at him. "I don't know," I said again in that same sad voice I'd started the conversation with. The silence stretched between us uncomfortably. My heart was actually beating faster as though I was preparing myself for some kind of battle. John surprised me when he sighed quietly before closing the distance between us until we were only a step apart.
"You love me, right?" John asked almost hesitantly.
"Of course I do," I agreed. "But I don't know ... is that enough?"
"Do you think you'd have felt better today if we weren't together?" John questioned, cutting right to the illogical side of what I was saying.
"No,' I admitted reluctantly. "And if we'd never been together I'd probably be feeling worse for all the missed opportunities," I added honestly.
"Before you were captured by the Wraith I would have just discounted your concerns," John admitted. "But I know what it's like to worry about you ... I can put myself in your shoes and see how much it cuts you up to go through that kind of emotion."
"It's not just that," I said. "It's the frustration ... being powerless to do anything but fight the burning urge to put my fist through a wall or yell at Doctor Weir for letting you go out there!"
"I was a wreck when you were on that Hive ship," John admitted reluctantly. "Snapped at Rodney, picked a fight with Ronan, anything to get rid of the anger."
"You never said," I told him.
"Didn't want you to feel bad," John pointed out. "Wasn't your fault you got captured."
"Okay I get that," I looked at him pointedly. "Nice way to point out that it wasn't your fault you got captured today either."
"I'm sorry I worried you today," John said sincerely. "I'm sorry that my job puts so much pressure on you to keep being strong no matter how bad things seem." My eyes brimmed with tears at his words and I looked at him in misery before revealing the heart of my emotions.
"I don't want to lose you," I admitted, tears tracking silently down my cheeks.
"I can't promise you won't" John replied honestly, reaching out to stroke a tear from my cheek. "What I can promise is that you loving me is enough ... it's enough for me to be stubborn and brave, to think creatively, to do anything necessary to make sure I come home to you."
"I know," I sobbed. John gathered me into his arms and let me cry into his shirt until the last of my tears were gone.
"Don't scare me like that again," John muttered, leaning down to kiss me ardently.
"You're a tough guy flyboy," I teased. "Nothing scares you!"
"We're the worst," John countered between kisses. "Strong emotions," more kisses, "deep ... passions," more kisses, "all hidden beneath the surface."
"Sounds ... intriguing," I responded with some heated kisses of my own.
"Let's take this somewhere more comfortable," John suggested. He turned with an arm around my shoulders, then paused to look down at me questioningly. "Are we okay now?"
"I can't pretend it doesn't bother me to be so close to losing you," I looked at him seriously. "If it didn't bother me, we shouldn't be doing this."
"Is that a yes?" John quipped.
"Yes," I replied, grabbing his hand and pulling him from the room.