Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to pay our respects to our greatest rival, and dearest friend, the Batman…

Bobby Billiard slowly opened his eyes to a world of cold, damp darkness. He felt enclosed, unable to move his arms and legs no matter how he tried. He tried to speak, to scream for help, but nothing came from his lips but a dull whisper. His face was in searing pain, and he could feel the blood caking his cheeks. A feeling of dread overpowered Bobby Billiard as he remembered his encounter with the stranger inside of the interrogation room. Desperately trying to decipher where he was, Billiard listened closely to the outside world but all he could hear were muffled footsteps and an ominous, booming, voice.

Outside of Bobby Billiard's cold, solitary existence, four men in clown masks stood on a steel bridge overlooking several chemical vats on the ground. They were surrounding a brown pine box and looked as if they were waiting for some signal on what to do with said box. Suddenly a young woman, dressed up like a jester, somersaulted to the top of a set of stairs with a trumpet in her left hand. She blew the trumpet as if to call a kingdom to attention as their lord and master approached. Clearing her throat, the young woman took a bow and prepared to introduce her king.

"Lords and ladies, kings and peasants, I give to you the Maestro of Madness, the Doctor of Devious Deeds, the Clown Prince of Crime, Mistah J, THE JOKER!" the court jester quickly pulled out a bottle of confetti and threw it into the sky as she shouted the numerous names her master had come to be known by over the years. From the shadows came the sound of applause as one man emerged, giving himself a standing ovation. He wore a three-piece purple suit with a green vest and an orange shirt and a green string tie was wrapped around his neck. His skin was a sickly white and his eyes seemed to glow a devilish red like the eyes of the devil. His eyes seemed to sink into his skull and from his lips extended two scars curving up like a permanent, bloody, red, smile. Unkempt, dirty green hair, parted on the left side, fell down to drape his shoulder.

"Thank you, Harley, for that rousing introduction." The Joker sauntered over to his beloved Harley Quinn, dipped her low to the ground and leaned in as if to give her the kiss of a lifetime. But then, right before their lips were to meet, he dropped the poor girl and skipped away from her. He laughed when she hit the ground and said, "Now, now, Harley, this is no time for making whoopee, we've got guests. Boys, bring me our guest of honor."

The Joker skipped down the stairs as his henchmen broke open the pine box on the ground and pulled from it the body of the Joker's arch nemesis, the Batman. Harley Quinn picked herself up off the ground and tumbled down the stairs to stand beside her beloved as the henchmen struggled with the costumed vigilante. The Batman they pulled from the coffin coughed and tried to pull himself away from his captors. The henchmen eventually came to stand the Batman in front of his coffin and face to face with the Clown Prince of Crime.

"Boys, is this a joke? I thought the Batman was dead," The Joker walked up to the Batman and realized that he stood six inches taller than the costumed vigilante in front of him. He also examined the scars on his face and how similar they were to his own. "Boy oh boy, Bats, I don't remember you being so short, and I don't think I've ever seen you smile. I must say, it's a good look for you if I may say so myself," the Joker howled with laughter and forced his henchmen to laugh with him. Then in a random moment, the Joker stopped laughing completely and slapped the Batman right across his jaw. "Why don't you laugh, Batsy? Can't you see the funny side of things?"

"I know who you are, J-" the Batman stuttered, unable to finish the final word. The Joker coaxed his nemesis to say his name, waving his hand in a playful way. "J-J-Jo-" the Batman continued to struggle with forming words, his scarred face paining him with every muscle contraction.

The Joker punched him once more in the face, this time sending him flying to the ground, "Who am I?" The henchmen picked up the Batman and one held up his head by pulling up on his mask.

"Joker…" the Batman mumbled.

"What was that?" the Joker asked, leaning his ear in close to the Batman's mouth.

"J-Joker…"

"That's more like it, Batsy!" the Joker sprang into the air, laughing and celebrating at the sound of his name emanating from the lips of his archenemy. He landed on the ground and quickly snuck up next to the Batman in a hug putting his cheek against the Batman's. "I know you're secret, Batman. I know who you are."

"No… No… I'm not…" the Batman tried to whisper, still unable to form words.

"Shh, Bats, its ok, don't try to speak. I know what you're going through. It's always hard trying to adjust to your first smile." The Joker lips began to crack and bleed, and the Joker licked his lips in anticipation. "You're probably wondering why I brought you here, right Bats? Well, you see, I never got to say good-bye to you, and I didn't quite think that was fair. So, here we go, Batsy," the Joker drew a small knife from an interior pocket on his vest, and then kissed the Batman on the cheek. "Good-bye Batman."

"No, don't…" the Batman protested as the Joker jammed the knife into his rival's stomach. With an uncaring gaze, the Joker watched his enemy's eyes as he wrenched and turned the dull rusted blade inside of him. He watched as the life seemed to escape his body and then pushed the Batman back into the plain pine casket he had been pulled from. The henchmen quietly placed the lid back on the box and obediently looked up to their boss.

"Take care of him, boys. Send the Batman home." The Joker turned and began to walk away from the scene as nonchalantly as he had arrived. Harley Quinn watched as the henchmen tossed the casket over the edge of the bridge and sent it crashing into a vat of viscous white chemical waste. The haunting scream of Bobby Billiard filled the air as the casket fell from the bridge, but the sound disappeared when he hit the liquid. His voice was drowned out by the chemicals, but the pained scream would haunt all who were present for the rest of their lives. The Joker could see Bobby Billiard in that casket, fighting to scream as his lungs filled with chemical waste, and felt satisfaction engulf him. As he exited the plant, he looked up at the sign which read "Ace Chemical Refinery," and smiled. His vengeance had been wrought; he had killed the Batman.

"What do you want to do now, Mistah J?" Harley Quinn asked her lover, kissing him on the cheek and hanging on his arm. The Joker stopped dead in his tracks and looked into her innocent eyes, seeing if she felt anything for what she had just seen. Harley nodded before he even said a word and began to lead him off in the direction of Arkham Asylum.

"Take me home, Harley."