Chapter 5: Revelance

"What happened over there Tristan?" Rory asked quietly while tightly clutching her coffee mug

Tristans head snapped up "What?" He croaked, not expecting her to ask "What the hell kind of question is that?" He demanded

"I…I just wanted to help. Thought you wanted to talk about it" She tried

"Well don't please. It hurts to talk about" He said, softening when he realized she was just concerned

She nodded "Okay…sorry. You want to go out today?" she asked with a smile

He nodded, grateful for the change of subject "Movie?" He suggested

"Ooh! Cloverfield" She squealed

"But we know the outcome!" He whined playfully

"Its J.J. Abrams Tristan, it would be a crime not to see it" she countered

"Who knew you were such a science fiction buff" he mused

"Hey Tris?" She asked a little while later

"Hmm" he hummed cautiously, hearing the tone in her voice

"You…you wont ever have to go back" She asked nervously

He stiffened but shook his head "I don't think I could" he admitted

"Will you talk about this eventually?" She asked softly, not prodding or forcing just curious

"I'll try when I'm ready" He whispered

"Thank you" Rory smiled, pulling him in for a hug "Its good to have you home Tristan" She whispered

"Its good to be home" he responded quietly. "So how about that movie hmm?"

"Let me just check the times" she smiled

"I never asked Rory." he started out, sitting down on the couch as she fished in her purse for her cell. "H-how, I mean, were you okay when I was..." he trailed off uneasily

She turned to him with a sad smile and came to sit down next to him "I got through it" she whispered, running a soft hand through his hair "Thats all that matters"

"I talked to Logan" he mumbled resting his head against the back of the couch, and looking at her expectantly

"He shouldn't have said anything"

"He was looking out for you. and just being my best friend" Tristan defended quietly "I'm sorry I put you through so much Rory. I'll never forgive myself for that..."

"Why would you say something like that" She snapped, pushing his shoulder as hard as she could "I dont want that for you!" she exclaimed "I want you to be happy...thats all i've ever wanted"

"I'll be happy again" he promised

"I know" she murmured, "On second thought, lets stay in tonight"

"No Rory...we can go out" he protested, feeling guilty for being such a downer

"I don't really want to" She smiled, scooting closer to him "I'd rather have you to myself for a little longer"

"Mary" he laughed breathily, looking at her for a few minutes, in silence...as if studying her before speaking softly "Come on, you hungry or tired?"

"Just a little tired" she laughed while letting him pull her up from the couch

"I'm exhausted. Who knew time difference would take this long to get used to" he muttered just as a loud crack echoed through the room. Tristan immediately jumped, feeling like his heart skipped a beat and pulled Rory behind him.

"Hey" she mumbled "Its just a car backfiring. that happens a lot here remember?" she joked quietly

"Sorry" he said

"though I'm flattered you wouldn't use me as your shield" she teased

"Ha-ha" he said dryly but with a smile "Lets get some rest hmm?"

"its still early" she sighed, not at all tired while she watched him get into bed.

"I know" he grinned "Just get in..." he patted the place beside him

"I missed you so much Tristan" she mumbled, sidling up close to him

"I know" he sighed, wrapping an arm around her

"An-and i'm trying so hard" she choked "I'm just...You have enough to worry about. But I cant anymore...I cant" Rory shook with tears, clutching onto him as tightly as she could

"I'm here Mar" he whispered, stroking her hair softly "You dont have to be anything. I'm here" he pressed his face into her hair

"Dont leave me tonight okay?" she hiccuped

"No" he promised "No of course not"

"Heyy" he drawled out softly when he felt her body shaking "Dont cry sweetheart. We'll get through this..."

"I'm sorry" she laughed breathily against his neck

"Dont be" He whispered, giving her a small squeeze "Lets not spend the first night I'm not insane like this okay?"

"You're not insane" She mumbled, kissing his shoulder before pulling back

"Where are you going?" he asked with a small smile when she moved away from him

"To let you change." she said

"Okay" he laughed, pulling off his sweatpants so he was in boxers and a T-shirt.

"What about the shirt" she frowned. she was turned away from him, changing into her own pajamas.

"I'm fine" he stated

"B-but you never sleep with your shirt on" she replied, as she finished changing, turning back around

"Why are you so adamant about this?" he smirked

"I just...i miss sleeping with you. and not in that way" she said before he could say anything dirty

He eyed her cautiously while slowly grabbing the hem of his shirt and pulling it upwards, closing his eyes when he heard a sharp intake of breath come from Rory. Throwing his shirt to the side, he opened his eyes and saw her horrified features.

"Tristan" she whispered shakily, crawling over to him on the bed and gently touching a scar on his shoulder "They-uhm" she cleared her throat "They look painful"

"They were" he mumbled, looking down

"Tristan" Rory trembled "I-...I'm so sorry"

"Its not your fault" he murmured, sighing when he felt her lips caress his shoulder wound

"You uh-are you in any pain?" She asked, resting her forehead against his

"I'm okay" he smiled, cupping her cheeks "Thank you"

"For what?"

"For not being...disgusted. revolted. For seeing past them"

"Never" she laughed as if what he was saying were incredulous "Believe it or not Tristan, you look even hotter than before" she teased

He chuckled, a small glint in his eye "Really" he whispered against her lips

"Yeah" she mumbled back, her head feeling fuzzy from being this close to him after such a long time.

He smiled at the obvious effect he had on her "Mary?"

"Hmm" she hummed, her eyes closed while she relished the feelings coursing through her

He grinned, leaning down and kissing her neck gently; gouging her mood before continuing his path along her jaw, leaving a series of open mouthed kisses there. He held back a chuckle when he heard her whimper at his ministrations.

"I love you" he said softly, pulling back and kissing her forehead

"God I missed this Tristan" she let out a heavy breath, melting against him before pulling back quickly and opening her eyes, eyeing him wearily

"What?" he asked confused at her sudden change of mood

"Sorry I didn't mean to hurt you" she said quickly

He rolled his eyes with a smile "You didn't" he assured

"You want to talk about it?" she asked quietly, her eyes tracing over all his scars and bruises

"It was hell" he whispered after a few minutes of silence "They-they had us hanging by our wrists from the ceiling." he showed her his wrists which were covered in bruises and fading welts "Sometimes it was upside down, by our ankles."

"So they could-" she swallowed thickly "Beat the soles of your feet with pipes, or hoses"

"Yeah" he whispered

"I did as much research as I could about it when they came and broke the news to me" she choked, cupping his cheeks and kissing him quickly

"It was hot. Maybe around 104 degrees during the day, and freezing at night. I felt like I was in hell...fuck I wished i was there" he gritted his teeth, taking hold of her hand "It was....scary..." he said slowly, trying to find the right word "Every day they made us think we were going to die" he turned to her abruptly when he heard a loud muffled sob coming from next to him. Her eyes were wide with terror, tears running down her cheeks and her hand muffling the cries she was making.

"Rory" he whispered, bringing her hand to his lips and kissing her knuckles

"No I'm sorry" she took a deep breath, calming herself down "Go on."

"Are you sure?" he asked in concern

Shaking her head at him, she groaned inwardly. he had just gotten back from Iraq, being tortured and kidnapped and he was still worrying about her. what the hell was wrong with him! "yes. It will help to talk about this." she said strongly

"There were 3 of us. Matt, Kevin and I" he said again, averting his eyes from her "I think they had others, but we weren't kept in the same room as them. The woman were kept separately. We could hear them at night. So loud, yet so distant. It was terrifying, what they were doing to them." he shook, with fear, anger, guilt...

"They" he swallowed thickly "The second night...they hung us by our ankles. Our heads maybe a foot from the floor. We were too worn out to even care what they did at this point; that is until pipes started smashing into the soles of our feet. They never did it together. No" he said softly, as if he were in a trance "Always one by one. Making us watching, listen..feel the other persons pain. Of course we were all medics, so they figured we could take care of each-other" he thought bitterly "They didn't let us tend to our wounds for days...it was agony."

"Sleep" he mumbled "was never consistent. They wouldn't let us sleep for days. Beating us if we did...it was a torture all in its own. We just wanted to escape the pain, escape the fear with the only thing possible...passing out, but we were forbidden to do that as well. Matt eventually passed out, no matter how hard they beat him or how loud they shouted; he couldn't wake up. His body had gone into shock."

"Is Matt okay?" Rory whispered, stroking his hair softly

Tristan nodded "he's safe now"

"Just like you" she assured

"I cant sleep Rory" he said vulnerably, his eyes watering "I-I'm scared"

Rory held her tears back, knowing if she let them fall they'd never stop. "I'm here" she promised, hugging him to her "I'm here"

"I'm scared if I close my eyes...when I wake up, i'll be in that room again. With Matt and Kevin." he cried

"Lets lay down" She whispered, pulling the covers up and pulling him down with her before pulling him closer "I promise you Tristan" She started out strong "I swear to you that nothing is going to happen. And i'll be right here when you wake up again"

"I'm so tired" he whispered, his eyes drooping despite his effort to keep them open

"Sleep" she urged "I'm not going to. I promise. I'll be with you"

"I love you so much Mary" he mumbled, eyes fully shut now

She nodded, tears pouring from her eyes when he was finally asleep "You have no idea Tristan..." she murmured to herself, resting her head on his shoulder.

Rory didn't sleep much that night. She couldn't bring herself to, thinking of all the horrible things that happened to him. It must have been a nightmare. She envied him, loved him, respected him for going through all that and making it out. She didn't know if she could do the same thing had she been in the same position. Ever since Tristans outburst when he got back, she had read up on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder; trying to find ways to help him.

"Hey" she mumbled, feeling him tense in his sleep. he began mumbling incoherently before tossing and turning in her arms; she squeezed him as tightly as she could, reading that constant pressure helped calm the nerves. But it was difficult because he was probably 100 times stronger than she was "Hey..." she whispered, still holding him as tightly as she could despite his struggle "Calm down. Relax" He was practically draped on top of her now. His head resting on her chest while his arm was strewn across her. After a few minutes of struggling, he finally calmed down enough to go back to a peaceful sleep.

Rory sighed, looking over at the clock. It was 4am now. And she had gotten maybe an hour of sleep. Tristan was still strewn across her chest while she held him tightly, making sure he felt secure. She wound one of her hands into his hair and gently massaged his head absentmindedly; continuing, until before she knew it, light was shining through the windows. She realized 2 hours had passed and it was already 6, Tristan would be waking up any time now.

The next thing she knew, she found Tristan staring down at her with those icy blue eyes that would be able to melt anybody. "Hi" she whispered with a smile

"Hi" he smiled back, kissing her forehead and frowning when he noticed how red and puffy her eyes were. "Didnt sleep much?" he asked, running a soft hand across her cheek

"Couldn't" She shrugged

"I'm sorry"

"Dont be" She insisted "It was nice to just be with you"

"Well why dont you sleep now" He said, laying back down, this time beside her "I've slept longer than I have in months."

"Im glad" Rory grinned, turning her body to face him and wincing a little as she realized it was the first time she had moved all night since she was afraid to wake him

"Stiff?" He asked slightly guilty

"I'm fine Tristan" She said "Come on, i'll make you breakfast" she added, as another yawn hit her

He laughed softly, pulling her towards him "Sleep" he whispered "I think its my shift now"

ROry laughed against his neck "Night"

"Goodnight" he said, wrapping his arms tightly around her just as her breathing evened out.

"Tristan.....Rory!" A voice shouted a few hours later. Tristan groaned, he had been happily reading a book when Logan had barged into his apartment. He wasn't able to move since Rory was practically attached to his side.

"Shhhh!" He whispered when Logan finally found them

"You are a dick" Logan stated, walking over to him and punching his shoulder while giving him a quick hug

"Owe!" he exclaimed "asshole"

"You two okay?" he pointed down at Rory

Tristan nodded "She hasn't slept much" He said

"Yeah, for the past 6 months" Logan sighed

"So what are you two up to today" he asked, leaning against the wall

"Well, we were actually planning to call you and Lane for dinner" he said "You guys free?"

Logan nodded "I'm sure I can pencil you in" he grinned "She really is sorry for the other night man...i think you just surprised her"

Tristan nodded "I know....it makes sense. I was just a little crazy"

"A little?" Logan teased

"Fuck off Huntzberger. I'll be out in a sec" Tristan glared

What started out to be gentle, became furious almost. He growled in what sounded like anger as he attacked her mouth roughly, biting down on her lips, eliciting a whimper of pain from her, which only seemed to spur him on. Roughly, he threw her against the wall and covered her body with his, never breaking his lips from hers. His hands gripped her waist so hard she knew it would leave a bruise for weeks…He ripped her shirt off, sending buttons flying everywhere, following his action by ripping his off and pulling back momentarily to take it off.

"Tristan" Rory whispered tearily when he finally pulled back for a few seconds making something inside him snap. His head shot up and the look on his face was one of pure shock. What had he done?

Slowly he put his hands up in defense and backed away from her. Rory wiped her tears away and shook her head at him, walking closer with each step he took away from her. "Tristan don't" She whispered as if trying to calm a wild animal. He merely shook his head, not able to look her in the eye and quickly made his way into their bedroom, not believing what he had just done…what the hell was wrong with him! He sat on the edge of the bed, facing away from the door and towards the window.

Rory took a deep breath and quietly turned the door handle smiling as she saw him. He hadn't heard her come in, but she didn't want to spook him…apparently that's bad for people who have just come back from war.

"Tristan" She said softly, watching him straighten up some but stay as he was. Now that he knew she was there she climbed onto the bed, sat behind him and wrapped her arms around him, resting her head against his back "Its okay" she said strongly

He shook his head, trying to get up and get her to let him go, but she wasn't budging. "Say something Tristan" she pleaded

"How is what I just did okay?" he asked sharply

Rory gently stroked his chest as she spoke "Its okay because I said it was okay" She stated in a playful tone, sighing when he didn't laugh or smile "I trust you Tristan…that's why I'm here right now. You need to trust me" She whispered the last part, somewhat hurt and somewhat sympathetic that he had lost that along the way

"I'm trying" He choked "I'm trying so hard"

"Shh" She whispered tears coming to her own eyes as she felt his shoulders shake from the tears he was trying to keep at bay "I know you are"

"I love you and it kills me that I cant trust you…cant trust anyone" he whispered grabbing one of her hands and holding it to his lips "But don't give up on me Mary…I couldn't take it if you gave up too…"

Rory shook her head "I'm here Tristan…I'm here for you no matter what" She said softly "I trust you and that's enough for right now. You'll get there…but I'm never going to give up on us…I love you too much to do that."

He finally turned in her direction, his lower lip trembling slightly "I hurt you Rory…" he whispered as he saw her lip was bleeding slightly and saw the marks he left on her torso as he looked over her. He brought his hand to her stomach and tentatively grazed the bruises which were already forming "I don't even trust myself"

"Hurt isn't the word I would use" She said with a small smile "But there was definitely something…hot about it." eliciting a small chuckle from Tristan.

"See" She said with a smile sucking in a sharp breath when his hand came to rest on her lower back. Immediately he pulled it back.

"Turn around" He stated

"Tristan…" Rory protested

"Turn around Rory" he ordered again…somewhat desperately

Sighing Rory turned around and heard him breath heavily at what he saw. "Jesus…" he groaned

"Its fine Tristan. Just the fault of a poorly placed door handle" she said turning back around with a smile

He shook his head "I'm sorry" he said so softly you could barely hear him

"Hey" She said teasingly "What did I say? How many languages do I have to say 'its okay' in for you to believe it?"

"Now I think we should try that again some time. Preferably in another time frame but same concept" she said cheekily making him chuckle

"There we go" she nudged him

"Thank you Rory" he said full of emotion "Without you…..." he trailed off not even wanting to know where he would be

"Hey…we don't have to worry about without…because I am here" she said strongly

"Now, you have an appointment in an hour so we should get cleaned up" she said, running her fingers through his hair

"Appointment?" he asked confused "With who?"

"A therapist" Rory said hesitantly seeing a defiant look come across his features

"I don't need therapy Rory" He stated

"You do…" She said softly "Maybe you don't" she said afterwards, taking a different approach. "But what's the harm in trying…for me?"

"Rory" he groaned

"Please?" She pleaded

"Fine" he said annoyed "Come here" he said pulling her closer to him and kissing her gently "I'm sorry, this probably wasn't what you were expecting when I got back huh?"

Rory looked down, and when she looked back up she had tears brimming her eyes "No" She admitted quietly "I was expecting a lot worse" she whispered

Tristan looked at her longingly before reaching up and wiping a few stray tears away and smiling reassuringly at her "I'll get better"

"Of course you will…I'm not doubting that Tristan. I just wish I could do more" she said getting up

"Sit back down Rory" he sighed, going to the drawer in the bathroom and pulling out a first aid kit.

"What's that for?" she asked confused

"For your back…" he stated sitting down on the bed behind her "Bend over a little"

"Its fine" she insisted doing what he asked

"Its not that bad…just tender…" he said hearing her suck in a sharp breath as he barely touched it. he gently rubbed some cream onto it and covered it with a piece of gauze.

A/N: please dont throw rocks at me!! I know its been FOREVER. And I honestly just dont have motivation anymore...but it should come back :) I get these random spurs of writing, and instead of starting new stories...I try and apply them to my old ones haha...so i dont have any unfinished ones :)

Anyways, I really hope this chapter is worth reading....and maybe i'll write more for this story! Review please