Finally finished this chapter. Just reinforcing: I don't own anything! (except the doctor with the clipboard) =] Warning: This one is kind of emotionally and physically graphic. If you think you might be reminded of something that you don't want to think about, don't read it. (Contains SI)
Chapter Five: Ah, Mr. Taylor
Neither Steve nor Gabrielle spoke on the way to the hospital. They were going to pay a visit to Steve's mother, who he felt he had been neglecting.
Upon their arrival, it was as if a spell of tension had been broken, and they started to chat. First about random things, weather, music, traffic, and they didn't need anything more serious right now.
They found Steve's mother's room and he walked straight to her side. Gabrielle sat quietly on a chair near the wall, wishing she didn't have to be here to disturb the obviously sensitive moment. Steve felt a lump swell in his throat, he told himself that he would not cry, not in front of Gabrielle. He knew she had already seen him at his worst, but he couldn't keep expecting her to be there for him. Not after what he did to her.
A Doctor entered the room after a few minutes. He gave a short description of the woman's status, before falling silent. Steve needed to ask something, even though he didn't want the answer.
"Will she wake up?" He hadn't payed attention to the description the Doctor had given, so he couldn't come up with the answer himself.
"I know this can be hard."
"You know bloody nothing." Steve's tone was gentle but firm.
"You're right. If she does wake up it will be a one in a million chance, and there would probably be permanent damage..."
"Brain damage." Steve was trying to pay attention.
"...Yes." The doctor spoke a little to Gabrielle before leaving the room and closing the glass door behind him. Gabrielle sat in the silence, trying to look anywhere but at Steve. His back was to her, but she could feel the emotion swelling inside him. His voice made her jump.
"You can go home, Gabbi."
"Steve, I'm not going." She was soft and compassionate. Her mouth rested slightly open, she stared at Steve's back. He turned around and read the gentle expression on her face.
"Fine. But I'm staying at my place tonight."
"Okay. I'll drop you off." She nodded to herself. Steve agreed to this and decided it was time to go home.
Once Steve was comfortable at home on the couch, Gabrielle was hesitant to leave. Death is one thing, but having your closest family member in a coma is almost worse. No closure, no saying goodbye, no excuse for grief. She didn't want to leave Steve by himself, but she gave herself a lecture. He's a grown man. He can take care of himself... But he doesn't ask for help! If he needs it bad enough, he will. She settled on that thought, and left without saying much.
It was later that night that Steve received a phone call request that he didn't like.
Refusing to call Gabrielle and lean on her again, Steve drove himself to his mother's hospital. He rushed to her bedside to find the doctor sitting next to her.
"What's going on?"
"Ah, Mr. Taylor."
"What's going on!" Steve was jumpy and nervous.
"Her brain activity has slowed. She is almost down to no activity. I'm sorry." Steve was silent for a while. He heard the news, but didn't actually hear it. His mind bypassed the information until a few seconds after he heard it.
"Okay." He couldn't say anything else. The doctor's phrase rolled around in his head. She is down to almost no activity. He felt it bounce around, he thought about each word carefully. The doctor squeezed his shoulder reassuringly, he found it completely useless. How could you try and reassure someone who is losing their mother... I don't think 'It's okay' is going to help!
Steve didn't look at the other doctor as he left. He was now alone int the room with his vegetable of a mother. His eyes prickled with tears that he refused to release. Instead he decided to drive home where he can do whatever he pleased.
All the emotions that Steve had stored over the past few days hit him like a tonne of bricks. The nerves of his mother being injured, the worry that she wouldn't recover, the guilt for dragging Gabrielle into this, the anger of not being able to help his mother, and now the distress of maybe never getting her back.
He needed a release. Anything would do. The alcohol had been removed from his house years ago. He refused to go find more. The wave grew inside him, moving around until it began to crash. Tears poured from his eyes and he felt his head throbbing with rage. An idea occurred to him that seemed perfectly logical at that moment.
He stood and walked into the garage, searching for a small box he had put somewhere. Finding the box he pulled out one of it's contents and went into the bathroom. He removed a small cardboard cover from the shiny metal blade and held it in the light. The sharp edge gleamed as it sat between his fingers. The wave shifted again, before beginning to break. He felt it begin to crash down. His mind spun as he sat on the edge of the bathtub. Without thinking, the blade made a quick movement. His right hand shot past his left arm. The blade just nicking the skin, but enough to draw blood. He watched his sole cut as it began to bleed. The pain in his head moved, now focusing on the small twinge on his arm. The relief was small, but it was there. The pain moved outside. His hand moved swiftly again, and he watched as another cut appeared next to the first. He watched the cut expand slightly, and then slowly bleed. His mind switched to overdrive and his hand moved frantically. His breath quickened and he closed his eyes. When he opened them there were many cuts along the side of his arm. It had happened so quickly that they hadn't even started to bleed yet. He watched it happen. Once he caught his breath, he grabbed a towel and wrapped it over his arm. The buzz settled, the pain now focused solely on his arm. His body was recognising the worst injury, and managing it. He didn't remove the towel for over an hour, before wrapping up his arm and crashing on his bed.
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A/N: Yeah, not a very happy chapter i know. I do have a few things lined up though =] Let me know what you think and any suggestions are cool. I have realised that bribing people is wrong (pfft!) but hey, big pieces of cake for those who review!
