AN: Here's a treat to thank those who have been so kind as to read this story. A new chapter early. Hope you had a great Thanksgiving!
Wow, my muse must have been in a wacky mood. I'm not sure where the whole Shikamaru thing came from but hey, I decided to keep it anyway. This chapter is so full of angst it's not even funny(god, that is a really bad pun if you think about it). Oh, and yes I know in Naruto that Itachi was actually 13 when he killed his family but I found that out after I began this story so I'm ignoring it and say he is only a year younger than Suki. Ha, see if you can guess how old she is. I've given enough information :) .
What am I supposed to say Suki wondered as she wandered the streets of Konoha. The konochi bit her lip as she continued on her unplanned path though the village. She looked up at the blue sky, as though some heavenly influence could possibly get her out of the mess she had created for herself.
When she woke in the morning, a dry cloth on the pillow beside her and a couple of pain killers accompanied by a note on her bedside table, she knew she had messed up. Memories of the day before and the conversation she'd had with Kakashi before falling asleep caught up to her quickly. How could she have let that slip, even if she had been sick? What must he think of her? Of course, the whole story hadn't been told. Perhaps, if she could explain it correctly, it would be understandable.
She let out a sigh. Great, now she only had to figure out the correct way to clarify the events that had lead to her engagement. Her eyes went to her left ring finger, where there had once been a beautiful ring that made her heart flutter every time she glanced at it. Now, there was nothing but bare skin and many memories that filled her mind with might have beens.
Suki wanted to laugh at the irony of it all. It did not matter how far or for how long she ran, the cold hard truth always caught up to her. Destiny just did not seem to have a family planned out for her. She knew the love of a family, yes, but she was never allowed to keep it.
Suki turned down a busy street, full of vender carts. She was in the heart of the market district and the street was full of hustling people. Perfect, this was an easy place to lose one's self. As she expertly weaved between the populace she became alert, taking in all the action around her. Something caught her attention.
A young man, a ninja if she wasn't mistaken, was leaning against the side wall of one of the many shops along the street. In his hand was a cigarette and out of his mouth came a puff of smoke. What was a young ninja like him doing smoking? Didn't he know how bad it was for him?
She brought her focus back, taking in more of the boy. His hair was in a high, spiky, pony tail, and he had brown eyes that spoke of intelligence. If she wasn't mistaken, he was a Nara. She remembered that there had indeed been a new addition to the Nara family the same year Naruto had been born. Seeing him bring the cigarette to his mouth once again, she rolled her eyes. And Nara's were supposed to be a smart bunch.
Something told her to walk over to the young man; something about him beckoned her forward. The only acknowledgment she received was a slight rising of his eyebrows. "That's a bad habit for a shinobi to pick up." She commented casually, as though speaking about the weather.
"That may be so, but what business is it of yours?" The boy asked, taking another puff of smoke into his mouth. Suki desperately dug into her memory, searching for the boy's name. She knew she had heard Naruto and Sakura speak of him. Nara…Nara…Shikamaru? Yes, that was it, Shikamaru!
Now, if only she could remember what team he belonged to. That's right, he was on the same team as that girl Sakura liked to complain about, yet called a friend…Ino. Wow, this was a great day for her memory. Ah, now she could recall, they were part of a team when they were genin under the sensei…Asuma Sarutobi. Now she understood.
"I guess its not, Shikamaru. Still, I'm not sure your sensei would approve." Suki replied.
Shikamaru's head turned toward her with a look of surprise and perhaps some anger. "Who are you to tell me what he would or would not approve?"
Suki laughed, "Can't say we were best friends but I knew him well enough." She reached over and pulled what was left of the cigarette from his fingers. It fell to the ground, ash spreading around it. Suki took her heal and stamped it out, sliding her heal forward after as one might after squashing a bug to be sure it was dead.
"I wasn't done with that." The young man commented.
"Look, I'm not here to tell you what you should or shouldn't do. I'm probably not going to give this much more thought after this. But, I figure I owe it to my old friend to at least talk to you." Suki said.
Lord knows she had enough to deal with right now. Still, owning up to her past was a promise she had made to herself. If this was a way to start then she had to take it. Maybe this would be good practice for later when she would have to speak about much more difficult things.
Shikamaru couldn't figure this woman out. He had seen her around but had never come in close contact with her. She spent most of her time with team Kakashi. Now she was standing there, apparently trying to lecture him on his smoking habit. She couldn't have known his sensei, at least not the Asuma he had known because she had been away from the village for a long time. At least that was his understanding. How troublesome.
"There are a lot of people who have said the same things to me that knew him better than yourself. What makes you think what you have to say will matter?" Shikamaru asked.
"Something he would have said at your age I'm sure." Suki said "I don't know much about who he became. I heard he left the village for a while and was a part of the twelve ninja guardians. I also heard he became quite the chain smoker. What I do know is who he was back then, before all of that."
This seemed to peak the kids interest at bit but he was careful to control his expression. "That gives you even less say on what he would have to say on the topic of my smoking."
"Smart kid, bet he saw that in you. You are wrong though. Asuma would not have wanted you to do something that is so self-destructive. One thing I remember very clearly was his passion for protecting the people he cared for and what he thought was right. I think you carry a bit of that legacy in you. How do you plan on continuing it if you are doing such obvious harm to yourself?" Suki replied. A memory from when she was younger came to mind.
Asuma had been a good bit older than she, but they had developed a friendship based on what they had in common. It was funny that they did find common ground because each viewed having a parent as Hokage differently. They used to talk about the extra attention and pressure placed on them. While Suki felt that it only made her that much stronger, Asuma always felt he was not good enough for his father. Suki could never understand this. From her perspective, Asuma's father, while still trying to help his son understand the things he had yet to learn, loved Asuma very much and was proud.
Shikamaru paused; no one had ever put it that way. Perhaps this woman did know something. "He also believed in honoring those we care for who have passed on." He threw out as a challenge, knowing it was a weak one.
"You're not even trying. Guess you must be listening then. If you want to honor your sensei don't do it in a way that dishonors what he would have wanted for you." With that, Suki walked away from the boy. She was out of words of wisdom and he at the end of his pack.
Somehow, Suki found herself walking through the Uchiha compound. What an odd path her feet had been taking her today. As she took in the streets, she felt overwhelmed. She hadn't been here since that day.
The once busy and happy streets were empty; the homes and shops in disrepair. It was eerie; this place was never meant to be this way. This was the home, the essence of all that the clan had been, was and would be. Now, the Uchiha compound was nothing but a home to ghost of the past.
Closing her eyes, she could almost hear the noise that once filled this place. Children laughing, adults chatting, woman sweeping and cooking and the men going about their own work. She remembered how she would let Itachi sneak up behind her and cover her eyes, as though she couldn't sense him coming.
Everyone was so used to thinking of him as the monster who killed his entire clan but Suki could remember a different Itachi. Sure, he was like most people would have thought a Uchiha was. Not one to show his emotions; it had been difficult for her to get him to open up at first. The thing that everyone forgot is that Itachi is human. He was a brother, son, cousin, friend and teammate.
Suki had never been able to understand why he did what he did. The Itachi she had known may not have admitted it, but he loved his family; loved her. Something changed, in the months leading up to that horrible day. Looking back, she should have known there was something wrong. She had tried to pretend it was just nerves, over their upcoming wedding. He kept pushing it out and she could not understand.
"Why did you do it?" she whispered "How could you do that?"
She walked onto the Uchiha compound, a smile gracing her lips. It always felt good to come home after a long day at work. Being AMBU wasn't exactly easy. Her smile turned into a frown as she found the streets dark. Something wasn't right. Had something happened? Where was Itachi? Was he ok?
Immediately, she went on alert. She reached into the weapon's pouch she kept on her hip and pulled out a kunai. It was odd that she could not sense much in the way of chakra in the area. Where was everyone? Feeling that there was danger she cloaked her chakra and made her way further into the compound.
Turning down the next street, she almost cried out in shock. There so many of them; all dead. How could this happen? Itachi, where was he? And Sauske, little Sauske, was he ok? Surely, Itachi would have protected him.
Soon, both of her questions were answered. Sauske, a fearful and upset look upon his face came running down the street in her direction. Suki's protective side kicked in, the boy was like a little brother to her even if it wasn't official yet. Before she could move to run to him, Itachi appeared in between Sauske and herself. If he knew she was there, he did not let on.
She expected Itachi to tell Sauske to get out of here, that he would take care of things. The look on Sauske's face though, made her wonder what had really happened. "Don't kill me." He said, to her surprise. Why would he say that to…no….Itachi couldn't have done this.
"You are not even worth killing." She heard a voice she recognized as her love say. But it was so cold, so far removed from her Itachi's, that she didn't believe it was him saying it at first. "If you want to kill me, begrudge me! Hate me! And keep on living in that unsightly manner. Just continue fleeing and fleeing and hang onto your life." Then he was gone.
She numbly walked forward, toward Sauske, who had passed out. Falling to her knees beside the boy, she pulled his head into her lap. Her eyes took in the horror that had once been the happy home of a prosperous family. Bodies lay haphazardly, signs slashed, lanterns broken, ninja weapons thrown into every wall and the darkness, the darkness of this night seemed to close in. At first, she hadn't realized she had started to cry, until the first tear fell onto her hand. She began to stroke her fingers though the hair of the boy below her. What must he have just been though? She picked him up and stood. This was not the place he would wake up to see.
After bringing the boy to a safe place, she knew she needed to check the rest of the compound. She went down every street and looked in every shop but there was no one left alive. Every one she had known to live there was accounted for. This was terrible, how could Itachi have done such a thing. Then she heard voices.
Quietly she made her way toward them, her chakra still cloaked. She recognized them as belonging to fellow AMBU. Someone must have managed to send for help, too bad it came too late. Now she needed to decide what to do. Put on her mask and present herself to them that way or be herself.
"The note said it was Itachi. I just don't understand why he would do such a horrible thing." She heard one say. "We found his kid brother alive near the gates but everyone else is dead."
"I see. The Hokage will want a report on this." She heard the other respond.
"One last thing, his fiancé isn't amongst the dead and hasn't been found in the other parts of the village. We think she may be with him." With that, the other ran off to report to the Hokage.
She felt herself go numb again. She, with him? No, never, she would never follow him after what he had done. But they thought she was; that she had helped him. The ring on her left hand shined in the little light that came from above. Disgusted, she pulled it viciously from her finger and threw it to the ground at her feet. Then she was gone too, into the darkness of the night.
Suki forced herself to walk though the compound; no matter how badly she wanted to just walk away. She had to face up to her past if she ever wanted a chance at a future. Funny, it looked like someone had tried to begin picking the pieces of this broken place up.
Some of the lamps that she had remembered being broken had been rehung and several windows she had last seen shattered had been replaced. The signs of disuse couldn't be hidden though.
Her breath hitched when she reached their home. The home where she and Itachi were to begin their married lives. When they had become engaged, Suki had been invited to move in with Itachi and his family. Because they were so young it had been decide that they would live there for at least the first year.
She rubbed her shoulder absentmindedly. There may not be official documents but she was as much an Uchiha as anyone else who had once lived here. Part of her wondered why she wasn't dead.
With no great haste, she made her way out of the compound and back toward her apartment. There were so many things for her to process right now. Perhaps sleeping on it would help her.
Suki collapsed onto the rather plain but comfortable beige couch in her living room, a glass of wine in her hand. This was going to take a while to sort out and she knew it. The mistakes she had made would not magically go away. It was going to take time and patience on her part to make things right.
There was a knock on her door. Suki stood and walked over to answer it. Standing on the other side of the door was a silver-haired jonin who was becoming much too familiar. Before he could say a word she had shut the door in his face. She'd faced up enough for one day, hadn't she?
Well, what did you think? I know there was little imagery in this but it was meant to be that way. Suki is to focus in her own mind that she's not really noticing all that much. Please leave a review, good or bad.