Chapter 12 -- Home Again, Home Again

Willow jerked awake as the doors slammed open. "Not the tadpoles!"

"Tadpoles?" Kyra said.

Willow rubbed her eyes. "Frog fear." She blinked, then grinned and bounced to her feet. "Kyra! You're back! You're alive! You're not all freakified! Yay!"

"All freakified? What did you expect me to do to her?"

"I wasn't thinking you!" Willow defended. "Just...not everything can be all nice and happy out there."

"Actually, very few things out there are nice and happy," Kyra said dryly. "Ooh! We went to Barcelona!"

"You went to Italy? Where's the joy?" Willow asked.

"No, planet Barcelona," she said. "Dogs, no noses. Seriously! Dogs with no noses!"

"How do they smell?"

"With their eyes," the Doctor explained.

"Wow. New level of freaky I was really not expecting."

"You're looking at the proud owner of a hero badge from the planet Taplock."

"Oooh! Lemme see!"

"He's told everybody," Kyra groused.

"It's not every day on offworlder gets that!" he defended. "Not to mention, not everyday an ordinary human stops one of the most powerful races in the galaxy."

"What did you do?" Willow asked, wide-eyed like a kid at story time.

"Looked into the Time Vortex. Really freaky."

"What happened?"

"I actually don't really remember. Blew up a lot of Cybermen, though."

"Erased them from existence is more like it. Oh, she was spectacular!"

Willow laughed. "All in a day's work."

"Bloody confusing day!" She started rifling through her bag. "Ooh, I got you something." She whipped out a pale pinkish colored crystal. "From Sumarra Five. They say it's great for cleansing and absorbing negative energy. Might work, or could be just a pretty paperweight."

"Oh, it's shiny," Willow said. "Doesn't have to work. Preettty."

"You're also looking at someone who's seen the creation of the galaxy."

"Oh, God, Willow, it was so cool! You had to've seen it, I guess. Oh! Really was a Big Bang!"

"Really? Ha! Take that, fundamentalist jerks!"

"And thanks to Kyra, we actually met God. The best mistake I've ever made."

"That'll teach you to put me behind the wheel, won't it?"

"There's really a God? I'm going to hell, aren't I?"

"What? No, he was really cool, actually. Once you get past the whole....creator thing, he's a pretty laidback guy. My whole religion is topsy-turvy, let me tell you."

"Actually, God's not like he was in the Bible. At least, not the first half."

"There went my religion," Willow said.

"Welcome to my world!" Kyra exclaimed.

"Well, what happened in the Old Testament did happen, but it wasn't for all those petty reasons. He explained it. Decent chap. Excellent tea. He's on vacation right now."

"Whoa," Willow said.

"It was so bizarre!" Kyra said. "Oh! I saw the Earth being made! Did you know there used to be big ugly spiders at the center of the Earth?"

"No, but explains a lot! Ew!"

"Oh, they're gone now. Oh! And Einstein? Not nearly as cool as you'd think."

"That's depressing."

"I know. I was so disappointed."

"He was actually a bit of a jerk," the Doctor added. "And he stumbled on his theories accidentally. Fell inside the Tardis."

"And he wasn't the one who did all the math!" Kyra added. "It was his wife!"

"The jerk!"

"Right!"

"Well, in his defense, she didn't want the fame," the Doctor added.

"Well, still," Willow said.

"At least he understood it."

"Yeah, after she explained it to him three times," Kyra added. "Honestly, how hard is the Theory of Relativity, anyway?"

"For you two?" Willow asked. "Probably like addition is for the rest of us."

"Actually, took us quite a few centuries. The Tardis is the first living proof of it."

"Oh, damn!" Willow exclaimed suddenly. "In all the excitement and stories and shock and shiny things, I forgot something." She smiled nervously. "Oops."

"Bad oops or mediocre oops?" Kyra asked.

"Buffy's here."

"Bad oops," Kyra muttered. "Damn!"

"Well, it should be interesting to see her reaction."

"Yeah. Interesting. Got any interstellar tums?"

"Why would we need that?"

"Not you. Me."

"I'll be good," Kyra said. "Promise." She turned and pointed at the Doctor. "Behave."

"Oh, I will. If she does."

Kyra rolled her eyes. "Great."

"Hey, did you get a tan?"

"Sittin' in the Tardis, while we were orbitin' a sun. Had the doors propped open."

"In space?"

"It's not dangerous, like you'd think."

TBC...