Author's Note: Special thanks to FantasyFan5 for the review and interest in this little yarn of mine.

This chapter is basically the foundation for the entire story; the whole point is to explain the whithertos and wherefores of what happened to Harry Potter on April 17, 2007. As I was writing my plot out oh so many months ago when I decided to pick this story back up, I planned it out so that the story reads like Sophocles' Oedipus Rex- the further this story goes, the more backstory you get. So you won't fully understand everything until the last chapter.

That being said, if you get confused about motives or events along the way, please don't hesitate to contact me. I will explain as best I can.

Disclaimer: I'm about to break canon in a really big way. I know this. Please don't waste my time by pointing out that what I'm about to do is impossible in the Potterverse; I know it is. I'm doing what I'm doing for a reason, and I swear it's a better reason than "I'm a tweenie fangirl and wrote a Mary Sue story with impossible deux ex machinas because I can't come up with a plot that makes sense". Not that I have anything against tweenie fangirls who do that…

Harry-

I'm sure that this is the last thing you ever expected to receive from me. Well, it's the last thing I expected to write. I'm not even positive why I'm doing this, what I hope to achieve by writing this. What possible good could it do to write this, now that five years have passed?

Closure, perhaps. Maybe writing everything down will help me to finally end the huge mess that is our story. Or perhaps I just feel an overwhelming compulsion to let everything out, to put everything into words in an attempt to make sense of it all.

I'm sure by now you're wondering what you're reading, why I entrusted James to give this to you. What could I possibly have to say, that I would take the time to fill this book and then hope that you would read it?

I once said that you would know all, Harry. That someday I would explain. Now is that time. This is my explanation of my betrayal, of the Time of Darkness, and of the circumstances that led us to who and where we are today.

Harry stared at the words, dumbstruck. Explain? Her? She had never explained herself or her motives to anyone. It was one of the things he'd grudgingly admired about her- she did exactly as she pleased, with or without one's blessing. She answered to no one. So why this sudden confession?

I see that confused expression on your face. I hear the questions in your mind- she's never explained herself before- why should she do it now?

Maybe I'm doing it because I've never explained. There must still be a reckoning between us; there is still much to be said. But as you're tied to Scotland via Hogwarts and England via the Ministry, and I've promised the Ministry to remain in France… this will have to serve my purposes.

Why am I doing this now, on paper, and not face to face as you once demanded? Because we ran out of time and chances, I suppose. By the time we were back on civil enough terms to have The Talk, you were only interested in defeating the Dark Lord. After that, we didn't have time to breathe, let alone talk.

So here it is. My story, my explanation, my confessions. Hopefully you'll find this satisfactory.

It was a warm spring night, the night you left. The date you chose to go and face your destiny held no significance whatsoever, and I think that was part of the genius of your plan. The Dark Lord, who based almost everything he did off of symbolism, had no reason to suspect that you would choose that night to attack him.

No one except you knew when the Final Battle, as it had been coined, would occur. But everyone knew what would happen. There was to be a great showdown between Harry Potter, the Chosen One, and the Dark Lord Voldemort. You, using your love for your friends, Sirius, Dumbledore, and your parents as fuel, were going to defeat the Dark Lord, ending the rule of evil and bringing the wizarding world out of the darkness into which it had been plunged.

But something had happened on that night that no one had expected. Something that had doomed your quest from the moment you stepped out the door of Number 12 Grimmauld Place.

Love had turned on you.

Harry abruptly put down the journal, feeling a familiar, bitter anger welling in him, crawling up his throat and threatening to leave his mouth in a loud, animalistic scream. He stood quickly, striding to the open window and gripping the sill as the September breeze danced across his face. His green eyes scanned the night sky until he found Sirius, the North Star. He kept his gaze on the bright sphere as his memories rose out of the dark corners of his mind, forcing him to relive the most devastating night of his life.

April 17, 2007

It was a balmy night- not too cool, not too humid. On a night like this, he could be out walking beneath the stars with his fiancée.

Instead, Harry Potter was walking to face his destiny, which had been laid out for him before he was born.

A strange melancholy filled him. He was 19 years old! He'd only barely begun to live! He had a fiancée waiting at Grimmauld Place- was he going to leave her behind, to give birth to their child alone?

He knew Voldemort would be at the Malfoy Manor. He'd converted the place into Death Eater headquarters. On this night, when nothing was expected to happen, he would be here.

The second he stepped through the front gate, his well-honed Auror's senses were on alert. No alarms went off, no safety devices had been triggered, not even a guard had been standing at the gate. There was a conspicuous absence of security.

They were waiting for him.

He walked around the house, going to the gardens in the backyard. A thick, unnatural fog hung low and dense in the air. He proceeded with caution, clutching his wand. A chill of fear swept up his spine as he walked onto the expansive lawn. He couldn't see through the fog, and suddenly he felt very, very alone.

"Harry Potter."

His lip curled as he heard the familiar hoarse, high voice. He stopped moving as the fog slowly lifted… and found himself to be surrounded by a ring of masked Death Eaters.

"So we've come to it at last," Voldemort said, walking forward. "The day when Dumbledore's Chosen One meets his doom."
"If I die, I take you with me," Harry said, his voice low and dangerous.
Voldemort smiled. "No, I don't think so, Harry. For you see, I have my own secret weapon."

Harry set his jaw, trying not to let his apprehension show. He would show no fear, no trace of weakness before this, his greatest enemy.

Voldemort smiled again. "Lucius," he said softly. "Fetch the Star and her keeper." Turning back to Harry, he smiled again. "He who has the heart of a Star controls her magic."

Harry's mouth went dry. No… he was bluffing…

But Voldemort never bluffed.

Lucius returned, leading two people his age. Draco's face was abnormally pale and dead; he couldn't even summon a cocky smirk as he looked at his rival. And beside him-

"Alana," Harry breathed.

Her face was perfectly composed as she walked towards him in the black robes of a Death Eater. She looked at Harry with no emotion in her jade green eyes. She was haughty, distant, cold. Everything he'd refused to believe she was.

And that was when Harry realized that he had been betrayed.

Voldemort smiled and turned to Draco. "Make a wish, Draco."

Draco turned to Alana, his expression oddly reluctant. For a moment they just looked at each other, communicating silently, before he drew a breath.

"Disable whatever power Potter has that the Dark Lord has not," he whispered.

Alana walked to Harry, absolutely no emotion in her face. He looked at her, the woman he loved, the woman carrying his child, his fiancée… who knew now knew to be a traitor.

"I never loved you," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I only used you to get information for my master. You mean nothing to me. This child I carry isn't yours. And when you're dead, you won't even hold a place in my memories."

She removed the ring he'd given her and threw it on the ground between them, looking into his eyes for a long moment. Then she turned and walked away without a glance behind.

There was a burst of green light, and then-

Only blackness.