When Worlds Collide

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters; I'm just borrowing them. I promise to return them completely, or at least mostly, unscathed when I'm done. Please don't sue me; I have no money.

Chapter 2: The Muggle Crystal Ball

"So how does this work again?" Ron asked, peering at the computer monitor from different angles, trying to figure out why most of this Muggle crystal ball was a strange shade approaching puce.

"This is a computer," Harry began yet again. "Muggles use them to share information and send messages to each other…and look at naked ladies."

"So this crystal box is magic?"

"The monitor doesn't do that much. You have to attach it to another box where the computer's brain is. And then more cables attach it to a network of a bunch of computers that share information."

"Ah…so the crystal box isn't magic, the other box under the table is?"

"Ask Hermione the next time you see her. I'm sure she can explain it better," Harry sighed, resigning himself to the fact that Ron would simply never understand Muggle life.

"Here, just sit down, and watch the screen."

Ron sat on the oversized chair, with Harry next to him guiding the mouse and occasionally typing queries into the search engine.

"How do you…NO WAY!" Ron stared at the screen in shock, his own face, well, actually a face very similar to his, with his name beneath it, staring back at him.

Harry put his arm around Ron. "See? I told you you were famous."

"But how…how…"

"I don't know, really. I checked out those books, the ones this J. K. Rowling person wrote. They're okay…not accurate in the least, mind you…so over-dramatized…I'd almost say it was a coincidence if it weren't for the eerie similarities."

"Such as?"

"Names…places…circumstances…appearances…her description of Hogwarts is pretty accurate…though the whole Voldemort thing…absolutely ridiculous…there hasn't been a dark witch or wizard in Britain for several hundred years…she's spot-on about the elitists like the Malfoys, but the wizarding community is so small…we'd catch someone turning long before they became dangerous," Harry said nonchalantly, "at least I hope we would," he added quietly.

"What does she say about me?" Ron asked excitedly.

" Well, I know you're by no means rich, but she made you family seem practically destitute…and your house isn't nearly as structurally unsound as she implies…held up only by magic indeed!…got the gnomes dead on…nasty little buggers" Harry said, thoughtfully chewing the scar from the gnome bite still on his finger.

"So, in the books…" Ron faltered.

"You marry Hermione and I marry Ginny..." Harry sighed, "And one of our kids is named Albus Severus. Between the end of book seven and the epilogue, I must have gone batty to saddle one of my children with a name like that!"

"Weird." Ron said, astonished.

"I know," Harry replied, "I mean, Hermione and Neville have been a couple for nearly a year and a half now."

"Well, with Neville cultivating potion-making materials…some on the sly at Hermione's request…he did an amazing job on the greenfang, remember…never got bitten…and everyone thinks he's a klutz…and Hermione experimenting with those potions, they're a perfect match!" Ron said, laughing slightly.

"You know, I once asked Ginny if she was interested in you." Ron continued. "She laughed and said that she absolutely adored you as a brother…another brother…was what she said, I think."

"That's reassuring," Harry replied. "Think she suspects anything?"

"Nah….well, maybe…but if she did, I think she'd know enough to keep her mouth shut. Mum would completely flip if she found out."

"Good." Harry said. "No one around here does, either, thank goodness, or they'd never let you visit…they think I'm enough of a deviant as it is. They're so uptight. You know it took three Howlers plus Hagrid to convince them to let me go to Hogwarts in the first place?"

"You told me about that. I can't imagine the looks on their faces at that first Howler, much less seeing Hagrid," Ron laughed.

"With the first Howler, Uncle Vernon turned purple, Aunt Petunia's face did something like this…" Harry said, sucking in his cheeks and trying to make his nose look more pointed, giving the impression he was sucking a lemon.

"And Dudley?" Ron asked, laughing at Harry's impression of Aunt Petunia.

"I'm not sure Dudley entirely noticed…must've thought it was the radio or something. You've seen him at breakfast before; between his bacon, eggs, donuts, toast, and the telly, not much can catch his attention."

"Figures." Ron said, now trying to stop himself from giggling at his most recent memory of Dudley at breakfast; while Dudley was engrossed in the latest celebrity gossip, Harry and Ron had managed to switch his white toast with whole wheat, much to Dudley's surprise when something relatively healthy entered his oversized mouth. Ron was especially grateful for the all the exercise he and Harry had been getting recently when Dudley realized the switch and chased them down the hall and out the front door…during a commercial break, of course.

"What's so funny?" Harry asked, as Ron fell off the chair, unable to control his laughter.

"Remember when we transfigured Dudley's toast?" Ron wheezed, "White to whole wheat? So simple!"

"Bloody brilliant as I recall it," Harry replied, starting to laugh himself at the memory.

"And then he couldn't figure out how it happened…there wasn't any whole wheat bread in the house!"

"Good thing Hermione taught us how to put a limited life on a spell," Harry added, "by the time he got back to his plate, it was white bread again. Poor Dudders was even more confused. Too bad we weren't there to see his reaction. He'd just exercised and missed five commercials over nothing!"

Ron howled with laughter on the floor and Harry was well on his way to joining him.