Odd Feelings

Throughout the whole day I thought over my dream, and kept thinking about it until Caleb arrived in my room. As I started to get ready for bed I kept stealing glances at him, trying to not make it obvious but I think I failed terribly because every time I would glance over he would turn to look at me.

When I was done cleaning my small room I lay down in my bed, I tried to fall asleep but I could only toss and turn. I finally sat up straight and before I could even think about it I said out loud "What was that song you were humming last night?" I heard him chuckle softly.

I felt the bed sink beside me and something go into my ears. All of the sudden I heard music come out of the little devices and realized it was an iPod. It was the song he had quietly sung the night before and it was the prettiest song I had ever heard. "It's called 'Find a Way' by Safetysuit," he said softly.

As I listened to the lyrics I was dying to ask him why he was singing this song last night and as I thought this I was very aware of him sitting next to me. He was oddly close for me to smell his scent. It was nothing like I had ever smelt before; it drew me in and all of the sudden I could not think straight. It probably did not help matters that it was a full moon and the light shone directly through my window.

"What's wrong?" he whispered, drawing the headphones out of my ears, but I lightly grasped his hand to stop him. "Nothing… can… can I listen to this… while I try to sleep?" I asked, feeling myself blush. "Sure," he replied in his smooth voice that for some reason now captivated me. I not noticed that I had never taken my hand off of his but I still could not completely gather my thoughts, let alone have complete authority over my muscles again.

He noticed that I had not taken my hand off either. For a minute his face changed to an emotion that I could not register… was it longing? Uncertainty? …Pain? When he noticed me looking at him his face became unreadable, almost like a statue, void of all emotion. "I think I better go sit back over there," he whispered so softly I wasn't even sure he said anything at all.

I just gave a slow nod, put the headphones back in my ear and played the song over, making sure to press the repeat button on the song. I knew how to work one of these things because before the war, one of the last gifts from my parents had been an iPod and I had never went anywhere without it. I could feel Caleb staring at me but I just tried to focus on the song, memorizing the lyrics.

I soon fell asleep, but that just meant I was now trapped in my dream. I had the same dream as the night before but I knew the lyrics now. I was trying to find the room with the song and I knew if I did I would find Caleb which was somewhat comforting… I wanted to find him, I yearned for it. When I couldn't find him I felt like my heart was no longer in me, I felt a piece of me missing and this terrified me. I woke with a start, sitting up quickly and looking around dazed.

I felt Caleb's prescience which helped to ease my tension. "What were you dreaming about?" he asked me. I looked down, not wanting to tell him of my recent dreams that haunted me. I felt him sit beside me, closer than he had been before I had fallen asleep.

He placed his finger under my chin and forced me to look at him. When I looked into his eyes I felt lost and dazed. Why was I feeling this way? I wanted to yell and scream because I was so frustrated. "You kept saying my name in your sleep…" he said.

When I heard this I wanted to crawl somewhere and die. Why did I have to have such a big mouth? "It was nothing, I don't even remember my dream," I whispered the lie quietly. I think he knew I was lying because then he had a look of frustration but he did not push me any farther. His hand was still under my chin, but when he started to pull his hand away all I could think was: don't pull away… just hold me tight… make all my worries go away. I lay down, facing the wall so he would not see the one small tear escape my eye. What was happening to me? I thought as I fell back into another unsettling slumber.

When I awoke he wasn't there, as usual… Gretchen and Andrew were the same snotty parasites who thought themselves higher then everyone. One day I hope someone pays them back for all of their bad deeds I thought to myself as I took their "dinner" away.

Caleb had acted oddly all day. He had not said one word which had irritated Gretchen but who cares what she thinks? I had tried to make eye contact with him and catch his facial expression but whenever I entered the room he always made sure to stay far away from me, never looking at me.

When it was time to go to bed he just laid his iPod on my bed, already preset to the song "Find a Way." I smiled, about to thank him but when I turned around his face caught me off guard. He looked angry, sad, frustrated, uncertain… What could be wrong? I was going to say something but then I decided not to. If he wanted to share something he would. I fell asleep feeling somewhat sad for not having a little chat before bed but I quickly shook this off as I let the song ease me into sleep.

sorry it took so long to upload. have had a lot of school work :( give reviews please! i would love input :) the next few chapters should get very interesing :)