Chapter 8

(Back to Sookie's PoV. I also have a short story from Amelia's PoV called "Dead wolf walking" in the works, set in the same universe as this. I'm also thinking of a 10th Kingdom story and an original piece for my fiction press page. So if I'm slow updating that's why).

I was in a box. How the hell did I get in a box? I tentatively reached up to push the roof of the box. I poked my head out and recognised that I was in Eric's hidey hole. How in the world? Something smelled good, I glanced outside, dark out, I must have been wiped from the mind experiment. I got up, and walked towards the smell, Amelia was in the kitchen putting a band aid on her finger, she must have cut it. What smelled so good?

"Hey" Amelia said nodding in greeting.

"Hey" I replied. I wondered where Eric was. I couldn't feel him nearby through the bond. Amelia was pouring a cup of tea and set out a warmed bottle of TrueBlood. Odd Eric wasn't here.

"Have you just got in?" I asked, wondering if she just assumed he would still be here.

"Uh yeah Tray dropped me off" Amelia seemed kind of confused, like she wasn't used to talking to me. I tried to nip into her mind to see what was wrong. Ok that'd odd really odd. Nothing. Not a single thought.

"What are you thinking?" I asked, suddenly worried.

"Uh just wondering what to do with my evening" Amelia looked a little freaked out.

"You want some blood?" She asked.

"Uck not funny" I said. I noticed how deep my voice sounded, weird. "Just cos I'm dating a vamp doesn't mean I want to drink like one". Why did Amelia look so short?

"Uh Eric, have you looked in a mirror of late? Amelia asked looking shocked.

"Eric? What the hell are you..." I trailed off looking at my hands... Eric's hands. Jesus Sheppard of Judea, I thought to myself. I ran to the mirror.

"Arrgh!" I cried, but with Eric's voice it came out more like a roar.

"How did this happen? Where's Eric, and my body? Oh my god, my shift!" This could not be happening I thought to myself as I took in my, no, Eric's body. Six and a half feet of marble goodness and I had no idea what to do about it, I twisted to view all of me, and saw Eric looking surprised back at me through the mirror, I turned so I could see his fantastic rear. Well, at least if I was stuck in a body other than my own, it was a good looking one. I preened in front of the mirror for a few moments then shook myself. I'd just woken up and I was hungry.

"We have any of the pie left?" I asked, I felt like I could eat a horse.

"Um, half a piece" Amelia said. Weird I was sure I had left a whole piece last night. "Wanna split it?"

"Sure" I said. Part of me wanted to wolf all of it down, but my grandmother taught me to share so I would. I moved towards the cutlery draw on the other side of the kitchen. Woah. I was across the room in a split second before I had finished thinking I'd need a fork. Vampire reflexes impressive but now I had a head rush. I steadied myself with the worktop; I tried to move slower, which in this body, was the same as me trying to power walk.

"Sookie, how did this happen?" Amelia asked, "Was it during your thought exchange?"

"I don't know" I answered honestly as I joined Amelia at the kitchen table. "It went really well, we shared, we were close and apart from being tired and actually understanding Eric a little better nothing seemed out of the ordinary". I took a bite of the pie and gagged; I blinked and was at the sink heaving my guts up, ok in a Vampire body. Solid food was out.

"You can have the whole piece looks like I can't eat". I said inwardly grumbling. Damn Vampire, then I felt a great swell of pity towards my Eric, it wasn't his fault he couldn't eat. "I'm so hungry" I complained.

"Don't look at me" Amelia said looking worriedly at me.

"Eww" I said wrinkling my nose.

"Thanks for that" Amelia said, mock insulted "why don't you try a TrueBlood?"

"I can't drink blood, synthetic or not" I said mildly disgusted. "Drinking from Eric to bond was one thing, or when I was dying, but as a snack?" I shuddered.

"It's not like you would be drinking really," Amelia replied obviously amused to see Eric turning down blood, even if it was me in his body. "It would be his tongue tasting it, and his throat swallowing it, and you've already seen that you can't digest proper food. Besides you would be making sure Eric's body didn't starve, you think he won't feed yours? Of course he would."

I walked towards the TrueBlood Amelia had set out; I popped it in the microwave for thirty seconds. I gave it a sniff as I opened the bottle with a flick of my fingernail. It smelled good, I suddenly felt a little queasy as I realised the wonderful smell I had caught when I woke up, had been Amelia's cut, I gulped. I had seen a Vampire when the bloodlust was on them, if I didn't drink enough TrueBlood, the same might happen to me, and I might attack someone, maybe even Amelia. I tentatively took a sip. Mmmn, yum. Ok I'm sure that was just how Eric's body was responding I couldn't be enjoying blood. I downed the bottle and went back to the mirror, I looked a little less dead, so I went over to the fridge and repeated the process, I had an AB+ this time, which tasted a little sweeter somehow, I absently licked a drop that was dripping down my chin. Blood, not too bad, and probably had a lot less calories than fries and a burger.

"Where do you think Eric is?" Amelia asked the same question I was thinking.

"If I were him I'd go to somewhere I was strong. Somewhere I could be secure. He probably doesn't know what caused it either, so I'm guessing he'd head to Fangtasia". I said returning to the table again.

"But none of the other Vamps would be awake during the day. And what do you mean if? You are him". Amelia pointed out.

"He has contact numbers in his office and weapons. He might call the Supe doctor he called when I was attacked by the Maenad, Doctor Ludwig. And I am not him".

I wished Eric was here. He was the most practical, the strong one of the two of us. I wished he would hold me and kiss me and make everything feel better. Thinking about Eric was making me feel better, it was making me...

"Oh. Uh oh!" I said shifting in the kitchen chair.

"What?"

"I don't think I should be thinking about Eric right now!" I gulped standing slowly and walking towards the by the sink, turning away from Amelia.

"Why? Is it making you sad? Oh honey don't worry, we'll find him and you two will feel better when you're together, and we'll sort everything out and it'll be ok!" she said trying to console me. She didn't realise it wasn't consoling I needed.

"It's not that..." I said, slowly turning to face her and indicating downwards with one hand.

"Oh oh!" Amelia noticed the sizable bulge in my/Eric's pants. She began to laugh. "Well, at least you're not upset" She snickered helplessly.

"It's not funny" I glance down at mister happy and his inappropriate mood. Typical. Eric wasn't here and he was still horny. "This feels really weird"

"It's not that bad" Amelia said through her tears of laughter, she was one step away from full blown hysterics.

"Not. That. Bad!" I shrieked, which sounded really wrong coming out of Eric's mouth. "I have a Penis!" I yelled. "With an Erection!" I picked Amelia up, chair included. "Stop laughing" I whined defeated, even I could see why it was funny.

"Then get rid of it"

"How?" I asked, I couldn't walk around like that all night.

"How do you think?" She asked as I put her back down. She found it all too funny to be too scared.

"Couldn't I just think of unpleasant things?" I asked hopefully.

"Actually, I was thinking more..." Amelia made the universal hand gesture for jerking off.

"Uck!"

"Uck? Don't you ever, when you guys are, you know" she raised her eyebrows.

"Well yeah but it's not the same!" It was different when I was relieving Eric.

I stalked off towards the bathroom "Fine!" I called over my shoulder. I undid his jeans, flinching a little as I touched his length Eric's hands were cold as ice, what did I expect he was dead. I steeled myself I'd done it to him before, this was no different except I'd be able to see what feeling each touch brought, what felt best, this could be useful, I thought sensibly, as I stroked his balls, heehee tingly, I grasped his shaft firmly and began pumping slowly at first. Actually this was quite enjoyable, I relaxed as I pumped faster and faster. Oh this was such a great sensation, but I had to be practical, once again I stepped up the tempo, until I came gasping. Sweet Jesus, no wonder Eric was always so horny.

Amelia laughed as I came back into the room.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"Feeling better?" I scowled. "Also you make a terrible guy".

"Why? I'm not that unconvincing am I?" For some crazy reason I was a little insulted. And absurdly I wished I had my ability back so I could find out why I was so inept as a guy. I was sure Amelia would tell me...

"You walk like a girl"

"I do not"

"Do too"

"Not"

"Too"

"This is ridiculous, and I am a girl"

"Yeah but tall blonde and dead isn't, you're going to have to emulate him till we figure out what's going on" Amelia said.

"Why can't I just be me? It'll be sorted soon right?" I asked suddenly getting where she was going with this.

"If it takes a while to wear off, Eric has enemies and I'm sure there are a few being's you've pissed off that would love to catch you with your pants down, so to speak" she smirked, as I realised Eric's flies were down. Damn. Amelia made a very good point. Victor Madden for one would love the chance to off Eric whilst he was in a soft human shell.

I got up sharply and walked to the door.

"Where are you going?" Amelia called after me, as I retrieved my car keys from the hook. Mister inconspicuous' car was gone. Maybe Amelia should explain to the Vampire that he shouldn't draw attention to himself, and me in a corvette would definitely spark rumours.

"Fangtasia" I called over my shoulder, "tell Eric if he calls". I tried to strut like Eric, I don't think I was all that successful, Amelia began chuckling again as I strutted like a prize rooster out of the back door. This was going to be an unusual night of that I am sure.

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I drove carefully to Fangtasia, but quickly. I needed to see Eric, looking like me, for it to be real for me. I parked round the back in the staff car park, the door to the staff entrance closed just before I got out of the car I didn't see anyone pass me, must have been a Vamp. Oddly I was acutely embarrassed to be seen with my car. Great, now I was channelling Eric.

I walked up to the staff door, and knocked. What was I thinking, I rolled my eyes, Eric would never knock, I fished the keys out of Eric's pocket and as I was turning the key in the lock, the door swung open, revealing Pam, smirking at me.

"Lost your keys boss?" She asked. Weird I didn't know Pam ever called Eric boss.

"I uh, thought I'd left them at Sookie's. I was mistaken".

"The humans want to see you, shall we go through?" Pam asked, looking at me curiously. I had the strangest feeling that something was up.

"Sookie hasn't been here?" I asked, if Pam hadn't referred to me as Sookie then she mustn't know what had happened. Where could Eric have gone? I wondered, at best he might have decided to go out and enjoy the sun. At worst he could have gotten himself beaten up by the fellowship of the sun.

"No was she meant to?"

"I don't know" I answered honestly, frowning slightly.

"How was your date with the human?" Pam asked. Wow, rude much? She knew my name. Maybe that was how they talked about me when I wasn't around, I had to admit I was a little hurt, but I was being Eric today so I couldn't let my emotions show. We walked into the bar. I opted to stand by the bar rather than sit on the throne in the centre of the room. I tried to look casual leaning on the bar with my elbow propping me up.

"It went well".

"Did she finally yield to you?"

"Yes"

"I told you a human woman would enjoy being made to feel carefree".

"You were right, but then you have the advantage, you were a human woman at one point". I said, trying to sound like Eric.

Pam glanced around the bar. It hadn't been open long, so there weren't too many people in, a few young girls, who I was sure were too young to be in here. One of their shirts read: "Edward Cullen can bite me anytime" Twilight fans, I rolled my eyes.

"Eric, I would like a word with you... In private" she said quietly. I followed Pam back to my office. I had to tell Pam what had happened. She should take it well it's not like it was the first time Eric had been under a spell.

Pam went behind the desk into the drawer searching for something. She looked up, there was a feral gleam in her eye.

"Where is he?" Pam hissed, quick as a wink she jumped over the desk and on to me, knocking me to the ground. Oh no, hell no. Pam might not take it as well as I had hoped. My eyes were wide. Pam was a real hellcat when she got mad. "What have you done with my master?" Pam cried, stake raised above my heart. What would happen if she killed Eric's body? Would I die? Or would it kill Eric and return me to my body?

"Nothing!" I bellowed. I was panicking, she was seriously going to kill me.

"Do not try to fool me! Who are you?" I smiled suddenly seeing the funny side.

"Ok I know I'm a lot more male than usual but I'm kind of disappointed you can't recognise me Pam" I thought we were friends!" I exclaimed "I never thought I'd see the day you were straddling me, let alone trying to kill me" She dropped the stake, eyes big as saucers.

"Sookie!" Pam started chuckling then, "Oh this is too good" she pushed her long hair back from her face, "is he in your body then?"

"Yeah, I don't know what caused it, I thought you might be able to help" I smiled still on my back on the floor of my lovers office. What a night. Pam reached towards Eric's ear and began tickling just underneath

"Pam cut it out" I giggled "you're killing me" I cried laughing uncontrollably.

"Better than staking you" she pointed out. Who'd have thought the thousand year old Viking Vampire had a ticklish spot. I would have to use this information the next time Eric and I were back in our respective bodies.

"How did you know I wasn't Eric?"

"I have known my maker for over a century" she answered, then smirked as she added "besides he wouldn't be caught dead in that car of yours". Ah so it was Pam who entered before me.

"You think we should get off the floor?" I asked realising that the Vampire was still straddling me, looking greatly amused. Pam helped me to my feet.

"Would you like a drink?" Pam asked, smiling innocently at me.

"Sure you got AB positive?" I asked grinning back at her.

"You are going to willingly drink blood" Pam asked looking shocked, or as shocked as a Vampire like Pam could ever get.

"Well yeah, I can't drink anything else, I'm just being practical"

"Now you sound like Eric" Pam laughed on her way out of the door.

Pam returned in no time, as I was looking at the enormous broad sword on Eric's wall. Beautiful and deadly, just like Eric.

"It is very old" Pam said, handing me a TrueBlood. "From Eric's human life".

"It was Eric's father's" I said quietly, recognising it from the memory he had shared with me.

"He told you its history?" She asked surprised at the information.

"I saw it in his head" I replied simply.

"You can read Vampire minds now?" she asked, fascinated "that's a new development".

"Eric and I tried to share our thoughts, I think it only worked because of the blood bond with Eric" I said.

"It seems to have worked a little too well" Pam noted.

"You think it was the experiment?" I explained it all to Pam, even telling her how I had made sure my shields were up securely before I went to sleep. "I don't remember getting into the hidey hole, so whatever caused it must have happened after".

"That would make sense" Pam said as she sipped her B positive.

"What's that one taste like?" I asked curiously as I sipped on my own bottle, fangs running out a little. Pam and I were sat on the sofa in Eric's office.

"Here" she said handing me her bottle, as I handed her mine.

"A little spicy" I said after I took a sip.

"Really? I always find it savoury, for some reason it reminds me of roast dinner.

"Tex Mex" I said sticking my tongue out. "So what does AB positive remind you of?" I asked nodding at the bottle in her hands.

"Like apple crumble" she replied "you?"

"It's sweet, and reminds me of a dessert, a strawberry pudding" I said. "So blood tastes different to different Vamps?" I asked. I was learning lots tonight.

"It would seem so" Pam replied. "I have never thought to ask. It is the only food available to us, it's not like we have much choice". She looked as me sideways. "I see why he cares for you".

"Was that the human thing just to rile me?" I asked, feeling a little better.

"I knew Eric would be angry if I referred to you that way. You looked hurt, and Eric would have demanded I show you respect." Interesting.

"You don't miss anything do you Pam?" I smiled. No wonder she was Eric's second in command. I sure as hell wouldn't want to be her enemy.

"I try not to" she replied "you always think outside the box, you are smarter than you give yourself credit Sookie". A compliment fest with Pam, this night was getting weirder and weirder.

"Couldn't you try to read Vampire minds now you are in a Vampire's body? Pam wondered aloud.

"My telepathy's gone" I replied. "Eric must have it".

"Eric? Stuck with human voices in his head all day, oh that is priceless" she actually choked a little on her TrueBlood. "Be careful what you wish for" she laughed again. "Neither of you ran into a genie did you?" She asked warily.

"You think either of us would wish for this" I cried indicating Eric's body with a wave. "Besides neither of us spoke to anyone else all night".

"I'll bet" Pam grinned, "We will figure this out Sookie, do not worry" she said patting my/Eric's shoulder awkwardly. That Pam, always full of surprises. "I am curious" she began "about how my master pampered you, and convinced you to date him".

So I told her all about Eric taking me to his home and cooking for me.

"He cooked" she asked incredulously "Oh this is too good" she cackled. I had a feeling she wouldn't let Eric live this down, I told her about my idea to sell his baking in the bar, that got her thinking. "Oh Sookie, you have an excellent business brain, you really would make a very good Vampire". She looked at me smiling mischievously.

"Don't start Pam" I said, my gaze serious, she looked down, perhaps realising that in Eric's body, if it came to a fight I might be able to best her.

"Ok, I was just saying" she tried to placate me "you got over the blood thing, and you make a lot of sense when you're not being all over sensitive and human". Weirdly Pam had a point, I had taken it better than expected.

Just then we were interrupted by the phone, Pam answered it promptly.

"Fangtasia" she said huskily, I stifled a snigger as she rolled her eyes.

"It's you" she whispered "wanna have some fun?" I nodded.

"Sookie" Pam said down the phone, her voice pure sex, "I missed you last night, I do hope you have decided to take me up on my officer" she purred, I was shaking with laughter, trying not to make a sound, as a furious Eric bellowed down the phone.

"What? Pam how dare you make a move on my lover?" It would have been scary if it hadn't been bellowed in my voice. I burst out laughing and in Eric's voice it came out as a booming roar.

Eric, even with my human ears could hear that. "Pam put Sookie on" he said, somehow managing to sound authoritative in my voice.

"Her Eric, where are you?" I asked. I had wondered what a thousand year old Vampire would do in a human body. Probably sit in the sun all day, he had better have put on sunblock. I pulled my thoughts back to the phone.

"At Sam's" ok he'd stopped referring to my boss as simply Shifter. Weird.

"Why are you..." I began but he interrupted.

"We are coming" he said, then hung up.

"Same old Eric" I muttered.

"See why I tease him" Pam responded finishing off her TrueBlood.

We continued chatting for about twenty minutes or so, when we both heard the unmistakable roar of Eric's corvette as it skidded into the staff parking lot, we had left the door ajar so they could get in, I wondered absently who the other person was.

Eric burst into the office with a green looking Sam behind him.

"I am never getting into a car with that Vampire ever again" Sam grumbled. I went over to Sam and hugged him, quick as a flash Pam produced a camera and took a photo mid hug.

"Sookie? Oww Oww, my ribs, girl Vampire strength let go!" He cried, rubbing his side and smiling up at me.

"What's with the camera?" I asked Pam.

"For posterity, Eric hugging a Shifter, a moment I never thought I would see, plus I can tease him with it for years". Eric growled.

I walked slowly over to Eric and walked around him trying to take everything in, he or should I say I, smelled good, like herbal essence.

"Freaky" I muttered.

"How do you think I feel?" Eric asked my hands on my hips in front of me, this was too weird.

"Sorry about the joke, me and Pam were just messing with you". He smiled.

"I am just glad that you are all right, I myself had a rather enjoyable day. I hit the woman you called Arlene, and I got to play with your breasts." He grinned.

My eyes widened, I could feel him trying to probe my mind. I aimed a mental scream at him. It was like when I tried to have a mind conversation with Amelia. He cupped my hands over my ears to no avail. "Argh Sookie, that was harsh".

"Well I couldn't slap you, I'd just hurt myself". I said smiling smugly.

"Very creative" he noted, but I'm sure we could put your ingenuity to better use" he said wiggling my own eyebrows at me suggestively.

"Oook too weird, even for my life!"

"Amelia!" Pam yelled suddenly making all of us jump "it's not like it would be her first magical disaster would it?"

"I'll call her" I grumbled, I'd only left her a short while ago, surely she'd have said something about putting a spell on me so I'd wind up in my thousand year old lover's body, then again she might not when it was phrased like that.

As I got off the phone with Amelia I gave them a quick summary. "She screwed up it was only meant to enhance mental communication, there was a mix up with a crystal and basically, we're stuck like this till we understand each other, or as she put it achieve a healthy male/female balance".

Oh joy...

(Ok sorry people tbc it would have all been in one chapter but it's going to be insanely long, and another day before I upload again, and since I promised to upload soon, here you go!

Coming up next time, Sookie learns to fight, Claudine gets a shock, and plotting from the FotS, hopefully you'll all be teased enough to read the next instalment and review thanks for those of you who do, it's greatly appreciated.)