Something always brings me back to you -- It never takes too long -- No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone -- You hold me without touch -- You keep me without chains -- I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain.

Sara Bareilles - Gravity

She was still fuming the next day and barely speaking to him.

Sango went through the motions of making camp and he discreetly watched her out of the corner of his eye. Her motions were jerky and clumsy, so unlike her and she would flush or glare at him at intervals.

He sighed. It seemed that when it came to Sango he really was incapable of doing anything right.

Miroku was now sure the gods hated him. He picked up at long stick and stoked the fire. He wished he could control the fire inside his gut as easily.

Frustrated, the young monk threw the stick on the burning pile in disgust. He had the control of a ten year old boy and it was starting to annoy him. For the past few days he had traveled with her and he had behaved, even when he felt his hand twitch with the irresistible urge to curve his fingers around her luscious ass only to end up in her room…doing that.

Now she was even more skittish around him than before.

All right, to be fair it wasn't just his predisposition to lecherous behavior that had Sango jumpy around him, it was the fact that he had left her without a backwards glance.

Miroku involuntarily twitched his hand. He hated Naraku even more dead than he had when he was alive. At least alive the hope for a future glimmered on the horizon, however brief and insignificant.

He sighed and kicked at a nearby rock, catching it and sending it rolling down the hill.

Being around Sango was a special kind of hell all on its own. He wanted to get on his knees before her and confesses everything. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to be free to love her in every way a man could love a woman.

He picked up another stick and poked at the fire and she suddenly stood up stiffly.

"I'm going to the hot spring to take a bath," she announced.

He forced his face into a bland mask and simply nodded. She flushed again, gathered her bathing supplies and left. Miroku watched her with hooded eyes until she was out of his sight.

He frowned. Sake and desire did not mix well. He shook his head. To be truthfully, sake or no, the minute she touched him he was gone. He could no more have pulled away from her last night than he could sew his wind tunnel shut. She simply rendered him powerless.

He felt his cock twitch and he ruthlessly poked the fire. She was never going to forgive him he thought, disgusted.

He sighed and contemplated the nature of destiny yet again. Before Naraku's death he would have given his right arm for something like last night to happen between the beautiful taijiya and himself, but now, sweet Kami it just made everything harder. Miroku stilled and shuddered as a despairing thought occurred to him.

He couldn't leave her again. He wouldn't survive it.

He scowled.

Not that he planned on surviving anyway, but now the fact was simply twenty times more painful than it had been while he was traveling. He realized that he had managed to distance himself from the vital woman he loved and although the prospect of his wind tunnel taking him in some distant foreign land was bittersweet it did not cause this ache of loss and rage that being with her had lodged in the pit of his stomach.

He shivered. They had been slowly falling back into a sense of camaraderie these past few days and now she hated him yet again which, perhaps, was for the best. She needed to hold on to her anger. Her anger would keep her safe.

He glared at his right hand, flexed his fingers, and winced.

Her anger would keep her alive. By the gods he needed to remember that.

Miroku stirred the fire and scowled deeper. He had been selfish. He'd allowed himself to fall back into familiar patterns because it soothed the ache in his weary heart but in the process he'd allowed Sango to warm to him again and she was safer hating him.

Kami, when did it all become so damn complicated? And why did he know deep down, when all was said and done, that despite the fact that her hatred would keep her safe he was powerless to stop himself from trying to blunt the edge of her detestation towards him.

He frowned. He only hoped that this incident caused enough fury in her to allow for some distance between them, because he knew that he would not be able to sustain it.

He just wasn't strong enough to resist the woman he loved.

Fate truly was a nasty bitch.

Sango needed to get out of camp before she burst into flames from embarrassment.

"I'm going to the hot springs to take a bath," she announced suddenly.

In the past such an announcement would have been met with a raised, hopeful eyebrow and a lecherous grin. Now he simply poked the fire, gazed at her blandly, and nodded. She huffed and stalked off and she heard him sigh.

Worrying her lip between her teeth she took off to the east and fought the urge to look back. She could feel him watching her.

She only managed to relax when she reached the trees and only then did she allow herself to feel the full extent of her mortification at her actions last night.

Kami she'd…he'd…she closed her eyes, collected herself, and opened them. It didn't matter that she was half asleep and thought she was dreaming and it certainly didn't matter that he was drunk. She'd still…touched him.

She felt a shiver dance over her spine. She could still feel him moving against her hand, still hear his moans, and she was annoyed when she felt her thighs grow sticky under her kimono.

If that hadn't held up a big sign that practically flashed 'I still want you' she didn't know what did. Groaning, she reached the springs, looked around, and disrobed. She sighed in contentment when she felt the warm water caress her naked flesh. It felt like heaven.

She allowed her travel worn body to soak for a minute and let her mind drift over the last few days, skipping over last night.

She hadn't expected him to surprise her.

In the village, when the innkeeper's wife had made her interest so blatant she half expected Miroku to jump at the opportunity. It would have been the perfect excuse to hate him. But he didn't and then they…she flushed.

A disturbing though flittered across her brain and she sunk lower into the water.

She had always thought she had known Miroku so well, but now she was starting to realize that she didn't know him at all. The longer they traveled together the harder it became to hang on to the anger she'd clung to as a way to keep her sanity, and if she were truly being honest with herself she had to admit it was all but gone.

She could even feel the self-righteous rage from last night slowly dripping away. After all, her rage had mostly been directed at herself and she had used it to cover the intense embarrassment she had felt and was still feeling. She had stroked him like a wanton little hussy and, Kami save her, she had loved every minute of it.

She sighed and ran her finger tips over the surface of the warm water. She had been trying to convince herself that there was nothing between them any longer, not even friendship.

How wrong she had been.

These last few days she didn't seem to know whether she was coming or going, a feeling she absolutely hated. Part of her, the weak, cowardly part of her heart that she hid from everyone around her, wished he would have taken the woman up on her blatant offer so she had an excuse not to care.

The equally hidden, reckless part of her wished that he had taken their drunken and sleep deprive activity to the next logical step.

The biggest part of her though, just wanted to stop hurting and the confused part of her was starting to realize that, for the most part…she had.

She scowled and drew her knees up to her chest, hugging them. Looking around memories swamped her.

She suddenly missed Kagome very, very much. Sango sighed.

"Why am I complaining? It's not like I wanted him to…." touch me, kiss me, make love to me, her traitorous mind added

What the hell was wrong with her? She had actually found that she was disappointed that he hadn't attempted to seduce her.

The tight feeling that had been growing in her gut intensified and she had a deeply disturbing and painful thought.

She no longer knew who Miroku was.

"What do I do, Kagome?"

Her friend, of course was hundreds of years away and could not answer, but the simply act of questioning allowed the slayer to imagine her response.

Maybe you should stop punishing him for the past and try to understand him now.

She sighed. She had been punishing him for the past because no matter how hard she tried she couldn't seem to keep the past from controlling her life.

If the last few days had taught her nothing else they had taught her one thing. Whatever had caused him to leave was much more complicated and painful than she had believed.

In fact, now she was starting to become ashamed of the reasons she had invented for his absence from her life. She also now knew that it was her insecurities about him, and herself that had allowed her to flippantly believe he left because he had wanted to be free to fornicate with whom he wished.

She was starting to believe that she hadn't known Miroku at all.

Mostly though, she was afraid that she wanted to truly know him now. She knew he was leaving again and she wasn't sure if her heart would survive.

"When did I become such a coward?"

Sango, you are not a coward. You've just had some…bad luck.

She smiled as Kagome's voice drifted through her mind and lazily made circles in the water with her fingers.

No, she had been a coward and it was not a role she was comfortable with. She sighed again and solemnly picked up the bar of soap she had rested on the rock next to her.

She realized that despite the fact that his leaving had caused her so much pain, he could still comfort her with merely his presence. This time around she knew he was leaving and maybe…maybe she should see the time she had been given with him as an opportunity, instead of a burden. Sango made a decision.

"Peace Miroku…It is time for…peace."

The wind blew, the stars twinkled, and on the night air the universe sighed. It was the sound of a soul letting go, it was the sound of surrender, and it was the sound of healing.

Somewhere in the cosmos, a deity was happy.

Miroku was still playing with the fire when she returned.

"Miroku?" The monk started at the sound of his name and looked up. Sango sat down in front of him and was looking at him as if she had never seen him before. He sat back and regarded her silently.

"I wanted to…I was hoping…" She took a deep breath. "I think we need to start over. We need to forget about last night, forget about all of it, and move forward. I need peace between us houshi, for my sanity if nothing else."

He was silent for a moment, regarding her. He stirred the fire again.

"Sango about last night, I did not plan what happened, but nor do I regret it and I can not promise to forget about it." It will probably be the only memory with the power to sustain me once I leave you again, he thought.

She sighed. "I was afraid you would say something like that, but regardless it does not change anything. Surely you understand that?"

He poked the fire again, much more viciously and gritted his teeth. Damn Naraku to hell.

"As much as it pains me…yes I do."

She bit her lip and looked away for a moment. She seemed to be coming to some sort of internal conclusion. Finally, she seemed satisfied, nodded, and turned back to him.

"I was wondering…tell me about your travels."

It was a question and a plea and he was helpless in the face of it.

"I…What do you want to know?" She picked at her yukuta with nervous fingers.

"I don't know…everything. It occurred to me that I don't…well that I don't know anything about you anymore and I think I would like to just…know."

He studied her for a few moments longer and was wondering why she had this sudden urge to ask him about his time away from her. He was half tempted to call her out but the more needy part of him wanted to just tell her...everything.

He decided to settle for half.

"Where should I start?"

She locked her brown orbs with his violet ones. She wanted to say start where you left me, but figured that wouldn't go well with her new resolve to make peace between them.

"Start at the beginning."

"The beginning…well the night I…left I journeyed west to the coast and met a Chinese merchant sailing for the continent. I bartered for passage and left the soil of my homeland for the first time."

As Miroku spoke Sango found herself getting lost in his words. He had always been a wonderful story teller and he was even more compelling relaying the story of his travels. She felt as if she had been there with him, had met the people he spoke of, and had seen the wondrous things he had seen.

It was like his voice was a portal to another world. He became extremely animated when he spoke of a place called Rome. A city that rivaled the most ornate palace with churches built to a God she had never even known existed. He told her of India and the wealth and savage beauty of that land filled with forests and deserts and animals he had never seen the like of. He told her and it was like getting a piece of her heart back.

He was well into a tale of a Sultan that was to have him put to death because Miroku had inadvertently stumbled upon his harem when she yawned. He paused mid-telling.

"You're tired Sango. Why don't you get some sleep?" She waved him off.

"No I'm fine. I want to see how it ends." He shook his head firmly.

"Tomorrow maybe, tonight you need to sleep." She yawned again and lay down on her bed roll as she nodded.

"All right, but that doesn't get you out of telling me." He gave her an indulgent smile.

"Far be it from me to deny a lady anything." She smiled and he went to bed down on his side of the fire. Silence descended and for a startling moment all was at peace until.

"Miroku, did you…did you find what you were looking for?" Miroku debated on whether or not to answer.

"No Sango, no I didn't." She seemed to want to ask more but she was fighting a losing battle with her eyelids. They fluttered drowsily and she almost didn't hear him say.

"If I had it would have made my life truly, complete."