Disclaimer/Legend: See first chapter
----
Continuation from last chapter…
"So will you two help us?" Jiraiya asked, already knowing the answer.
Kisame looked at his partner in crime before glancing at the older man. "Oh yeah, we're in. This is too good of blackmail material to let slip through our fingers"
After this was said, the two ex Akatsuki members began to laugh, which Tsunade and Jiraiya joined in. now this wasn't a happy joyful laugh, this was a laugh that every stereotypical super villain did when they plotted to blow up the planet. Let's just agree it wasn't the most comforting thing to hear.
----
Same time as the evil laughter but outside the newly renamed Namikaze household…
Naruto was reaching for his door when he shuddered. Now this was a new experience for our hero, he often received chilling feelings, but he never openly shuttered before. 'I sense a disturbance in the force…" Naruto thought as he entered his home. The first thing he noticed was the two piles of bloody flesh that seemed to be playing cards with Kyuubi at his kitchen table. Upon closer inspection, he realized he was just looking at Shika and Kiba.
"What the hell happened to you two?" Naruto asked as he placed his cloak over the back of one of the chairs.
"Shika" "Temari" Both answered at the same time.
"Hmm," Naruto mumbled out as he walked over to the fridge to get a drink. "Temari was here?"
Shika nodded as he sat his straight flush down on the table. "She wanted to see you, so I invited her over."
"Still doesn't explain the beating, Shika." Naruto stated as he took a long swig out of the orange juice container.
Shika spoke as he began to deal a new hand of cards. "Temari did it, but it would be too troublesome to give the details."
"What time she go home?"
"She didn't" Shika stated as he glanced down at his hand.
"So… where is she?"
"Shika put her in one of the spare rooms for the night," Kiba said as he threw a few bills on the table. "I'll see your ten ryo and raise it to fifteen."
Naruto watched as Shika and Kyuubi folded while Kiba dragged the pot to himself. 'Idiots' Naruto thought as he put the juice back in the fridge. "I think I'm going to hit the sack after a hot shower."
"See ya in the morning man." Kiba said as he won another hand. "Come on you bastards, at least try to win some, or you two going turn into the new generation of the 'Legendary Suckers'?"
Naruto just shook his head as he made his way towards his room to grab his sleeping clothes. Now if he had turned around at least once, he would've noticed the look the three had plastered on their faces, and would've realized they were up to something…
----
Naruto felt a hundred times better as he got out of the shower. Not only did he feel refreshed, but he also rid him of the scent of perspiration. A man can only tolerate his stench only so long before he must intervene. After drying off, Naruto eyed his sleepwear. While it normally consisted of a pair of boxers and a pair of pajama bottoms, Naruto decided against putting on the pants. The day had been hot, and the night made no sign of cooling down. Throwing his pajama bottoms over his shoulder, Naruto headed to his room.
Once there, he threw his unnecessary clothes on his dresser and walked over to his window. He thought about opening it slightly to let a breeze in, but decided against it. He knew that raving nympho of an Oto Nin was still out there and the seal on the window was the only thing that was keeping him safe when there were no witnesses to tell his friends that he was kidnapped. Shuddering at the memory of the night prior, Naruto flopped down on his bed. Not bothering to cover up, he pulled one of his pillows to his chest and fell into a deep slumber.
----
Outside Naruto's room…
Three pairs of eyes watched the sleeping form of Naruto before glancing at the second figure that lay in his bed. Smiling due to the fact their plan was advancing smoothly, they left the two to sleep. As the three figures walked down to their own rooms, the tallest one spoke.
"I got to give it to you Kyuu. Naruto didn't even notice the genjutsu you placed on him so he thought Temari was one of his pillows. Now I got to remember to bring a camera for when those two wake up tomorrow."
Kyuubi grinned as Shika complimented his skill in the Kitsune arts. As he walked he noticed the smaller of the two humans seemed to have a sullen look, something that didn't fit the Inuzuka boy.
"What's with you, kid?"
"This doesn't seem right. I mean it's going to be funny and all in the morning, but what if Temari seriously hurts Naruto. I mean look what she did to Shika." Kiba said as he gestured to Shika's injuries.
"Bah, the brat will be fine. Think of it as payback for all the pranks he did to you over the years. Even if she does do a number on him, he'll still heal up just fine. I'd advise we make ourselves scarce if that goes down though. None of you seen the brat when he was truly pissed."
Hearing this, both of the ninja shivered slightly. They had bared witness to Naruto's childish anger before, but he's changed a lot since then. For all they knew Naruto could go psycho crazy on them tomorrow. With that thought placed in their heads, the three headed to their own rooms and went to bed.
----
The next morning…
Naruto sighed happily as he felt the warmth from the morning sun. While he was a morning person by nature, the secure comfort that his bed provided didn't want to make him open his eyes. Hugging his pillow tighter to his torso, he heard a sigh. 'Ok, as far as I know, pillows don't sigh' Naruto thought to himself as he rapped his fingers on his pillow This caused the pillow to giggle sleepily. 'Ok, now I know pillows don't giggle, we'll that weird one Jiraiya has does, but I sure as hell know that isn't in my bed.'
Naruto opened his eyes in time to see a sleeping Temari in his arms. But like all things good, they must come to an end. Naruto had just enough time to form one thought before a fist collided with his face. 'Is she wearing my shirt?'
----
Temari had the best night of sleep in a long time. It started with a bed that seemed as soft as a cloud that also had a pleasant scent. Then she felt a presence of someone who made her feel safe, something she hasn't felt since her mother's death. With these factors together, it didn't take her long to feel the sweet embrace of sleep.
Now she was in for a true surprise come morning, especially when she felt herself being held in a pair of arms that exuded protectiveness. Slowly sighing, she felt herself settle into the stranger's arms. When she felt a few fingers rap over her most ticklish spots, she couldn't suppress the giggle that burst forth. Opening her eyes, she saw the owner of the arms that held her and the source of the tickling.
Lying next to her was the man she saw in the hardware store, who she later found out was the focus of her mission. Taking a moment to study the features of his face, Temari soon realized the position she was in. It was more akin to lovers than two distant friends, if they can even be called that. They were more like acquaintances, and that sure as hell didn't help her situation. So she did what every woman in the Naruverse did. She slugged the closest offending male, which unfortunately was our hero.
----
"What the hell hit me?" Naruto asked out loud as he held his nose. Moving it slightly, Naruto could feel the cartilage grind against the bone, proving that it was broken, if the profuse bleeding wasn't enough.
"That's what you get for trying to molest me in my sleep!" said a shrill voice.
Naruto looked up to see a fuming blonde, glaring at him. Examining her further, he saw that she was indeed wearing one of his old shirts, which was much too small for him and didn't even go past the girl's waist, allowing him to see her boy short style panties. Once that sight was forever banked away for future reference, his brain went to work on a witty reply….
"I molested you?! You're the one that was sleeping in my bed! Now I want to know how you hid yourself from me last night. I know, sure as hell, that you weren't there when I went to sleep." Naruto yelled.
Temari just stood there, not speaking a word. 'Did he just accuse me of sneaking into his bed?' she asked herself. 'Shika told me this was a spare room that Naruto used for storage, hence the dresser full of clothes.' As she pondered her thoughts, something in her mind clicked, she was set up.
"Shika…" she growled out as she looked at the door.
"Huh?" Naruto questioned as he shoved tissues in his nose, hoping it would staunch the blood.
"Shikimaru told me this was a spare room that I could use for the night. Seems like the resident genius set us up." Temari said as she cracked her knuckles.
Naruto just sat there on the floor taking in what Temari told him. Then a look of anger crossed his features. 'That cheeky little bastard' Naruto thought to himself as he plotted Shika's demise. He sat there in thought, more specifically where he could possibly hide a body, when he noticed a hand in front of his face.
"Here, let me help you up." Temari said in gentle voice, replacing the banshee screech she used when she woke up, "It's my fault that you got knocked out of the bed."
Naruto looked at her for a moment. Naruto may still be an idiot at times, but that didn't mean he knew how the world works, and one of those things that he learned was no women admits that they are at fault for anything. Temari was up to something.
"Are you going to sit there all day?" Temari said, the anger slowly rising in her voice.
Naruto gave her one quick glance before raising his right hand for her to take. With some effort, the girl managed to pull the large man up. Once he was standing back up, he noticed that Temari hadn't let go of his hand.
"Um… Temari?"
"Hmm…"
"You can let go of my hand now."
"But it's so soft. Why is your hand so soft?" She asked as she rubbed her thumb over his palm.
Naruto chuckled nervously while using a foot to discreetly slide a container of hand lotion and an old, dog eared copy of Jiraiya's book back under his bed.
"He he, don't know what you're talking about. Anyways I have to meet with my Taijutsu teacher today and I'm not sure what time. So I need to get ready." Naruto said, changing the subject, as he removed the tissues from his nose and walked over to his dresser.
He thought about asking Temari to leave the room for a moment so he could change, but decided not to. She was in a similar state of undress as he was and he sure as hell wasn't going to subject to two super perverts and a pervert in training (AKA Jiraiya, Kakashi, and Kiba).
----
Temari just stood there watching Naruto's back as he rummaged through his dresser looking for something to wear for the day. As she watched him, she realized that he stood a head well over her. A huge change from the last time she met him. She also noticed that his seals seemed to cover his whole body. He was almost completely covered in them, even the back of his legs had seals running along them. She knew how sealing worked and that most ninjas went as far to place the seals upon their own bodies, but she never has seen any that went through the extent that Naruto did.
She walked over to get a better look of his seals. Looking at them closer, she was aware there was a difference between the seals besides the patterns. Most of them looked like tattoos, but several looked like they were actually engraved into his skin. That was something that Temari had never actually seen before. Without a hint of warning, she reached forward and traced her finger along the seal that stretched across his back. She didn't notice that the flesh shuddered at her touch. She paid it no attention though as her touch proved that she was right, the seal went deeper than a normal tattoo. She could even feel the slight unevenness in the skin.
As she touched him, a certain perverted part of her mind came to life. If one had been able to see this side of her, you would have assumed it was an alternate personality. This side of Temari had made itself know at the onset of puberty, but Temari managed to force it into submission with will power alone, but now it decided to make its reappearance. Inner Temari, as this being was called, giggled perversely as she reviewed her host's most recent, sexually charged memories. With that out of the way, Inner Temari watched the actions of her host before letting out a small comment that turned her host an interesting shade of red.
'Textured… for your pleasure…'
----
Naruto was looking through his dresser for something that would be comfortable and could take some abuse. He had an idea who his taijutsu instructor would be and knew he was in for one hell of a day. After rummaging through various shirts he found something suitable. He reached to grab a red shirt when he felt the air around him shift slightly. That was one thing he loved about having an unnaturally high affinity to the wind element. He would always be aware of his surroundings.
While he knew he wasn't in any danger, the air didn't have a tense feeling to it; he still wouldn't have expected Temari to feel him up. He expected that kind of stuff from regular girls, not from someone that he knew as a serious person.
He shuddered under her touch as she ran a finger down the seal went along his spine. Her touch felt incredible, it seemed to be a mix of ice cold touch and electrical current. Biting back a moan, he felt himself melt under her touch. Then without warning she stopped. While he knew it was for the best, he was missing it already. Turning around, he saw that she was blushing, but wasn't looking at him.
'Think she just realized what she had done' Naruto thought to himself as he started to walk by her, clothes in hand. He was just going to slip by her while she was dazed, but memory of what had transpired moments ago forced him into a mindset of revenge. 'Time for some payback' Naruto thought as he walked up to the girl. Leaning forward, while making sure his face barely grazed hers, he whispered into her ear.
"Don't take too long getting dressed babe, I'll have breakfast waiting."
Her reaction was priceless; it started as her blush deepening greatly as he leaned in close, to ending with what seemed as a brain meltdown. All in all, it was worth the effort. With that done, Naruto slipped out of his room and snuck towards the kitchen, thoughts of more painful revenge going through his head.
----
To his disappointment the kitchen was empty, no Shika to bust up, no Kiba to screw with. Even the fox was missing. With no one around aside from the girl in his bedroom, Naruto quickly changed into his clothes, before beginning to work on breakfast. As he grabbed an onion from the fridge, he noticed a note stuck to the front of it. Holding the onion under his chin and grabbing a small block of cheese, he read the letter. All it contained was mention that Itachi ran off again and that Kisame would meet him at the Jounins lounge later, he also mentioned that his meeting would take place at noon, though Kisame had no idea where.
----
Temari just stood there a few moments trying to figure out what happened. One minute Naruto acted like she wasn't even the room, the next he acted like they were newlyweds. It just didn't make any sense. This train of thought led her into a debate with her perverted side.
'Oh come on, you know you like him. You even forgot to berate him for his perverseness.'
'What are you talking about?! I'm just here to work on the mission, the fact that he's incredible looking,' Temari said mentally before realizing what she just let slip. 'Not that it matters!' She quickly added.
'Hah! I knew you had it for him, not that I can blame you. You saw his body, all you need is a little honey, whip cream and you're set.'
'…'
'You know I'm right.'
Temari just blushed deeper and willed her other side back into whatever abyss it had been in for the last ten years. Once she could no longer feel its presence, she quickly got dressed and left the room to meet with her host. As she shut the door, she caught a scent that was heavy in the air. At first it seemed strong and assaulted her, but as she got used to it she could discern what it was. The strongest was the scent of onions, followed by butter, there was something else but she couldn't place it.
Walking into the kitchen, she was greeted with a sight she would never have believed was possible. There, sitting at the table was Naruto who was hidden behind a newspaper aside from a tuft a hair that peaked over the top. She noticed movement and expected Naruto to greet her but he just reached for a cup of what appeared to be coffee. As she looked on she took notice of what laid on the table. She saw a plate with an omelet that was made with onions and shredded cheese, next to it laid two pieces of toast with a small jar of preserves. Beside it was a simple glass of orange juice.
'No way did Naruto make this all. Last I heard he was an all time ramen freak.'
"You going to stand there all day or you going to sit down and eat before your food gets cold?" Naruto said, not even looking away from his paper.
Temari quickly sat down and looked at her food wearingly. It looked okay, but it could look like it belonged in a five star restaurant and still taste like garbage. Deciding to forgo the chopsticks for the fork and knife beside the plate, she cut a small piece, and lifted it to her mouth before she glanced at the man who sat across from her.
"Did you make this?"
She watched as the paper shifted so she could see a pair of blue eyes looking at her, one of the eyebrows twitching slightly in what can be only anger.
Naruto looked at her for a moment before he spoke. "Do you see anyone else here to make you breakfast?"
Temari gave the man a quick glance before she placed the bit of food in her mouth and chewed slowly. As soon as she swallowed she quickly cut another piece and threw all the kunoichi-like grace to the wind, eliciting a chuckle from Naruto as he watched her eat with reckless abandon.
"I take it you like?" Naruto said around a smile.
"Hmm?" Temari mumbled out around a mouthful of egg.
"Thought ladies were better mannered when it came to food?"
Temari blushed and wiped her mouth with a provided napkin. She straightened out to look more proper but a burp ruined the effect. This of course got our resident cook/hero chuckling louder, which only added fuel to the fire that was Temari's face.
"I didn't know you could cook so well." Temari said as she nibbled on a piece of toast, hoping the change in subject would relieve some of her embarrassment.
"Learned from the best." Naruto said as he sat his paper down before grabbing Temari's other piece of toast.
"I take it Kisame taught you?"
"You could say that…" Naruto said as he thought back to his first 'teaching' session with blue skinned man.
----
Six years prior…
The camp was neat as it always had been. Kisame was a bit of clean freak while the Uchiha was in a word, a pig. There, next to the fire sat two men. The larger of the two sat there staring into the fire for a few moments before he spoke.
"Naruto, my boy, I think it's time to learn to truly fend for yourself."
The smaller of the two instantly perked up.
"You mean you're going to train me in the use of some new cool jutsu?"
"No" Was the man's simple reply.
"What?!"
"I'm going to teach you how to cook."
"You can't be serious; I already know how to cook."
"Putting a kettle on the stove to boil is not cooking, Naruto."
Naruto just scowled at the man. It was like experiencing the training trip with Jiraiya. He helped that old bastard with his 'research' more than he actually trained. He was hoping this wouldn't be a repeat of that.
"So what are we going to do?"
Kisame just smiled and reached into his cloak, pulling out a package wrapped in brown paper. Unwrapping it, he revealed it contained two large chunks of meat that looked like they literally came from the animal only minutes before.
"Step one: Ingredients preparation. Now these, Naruto are beef tenderloins." Kisame said as he gestured to the two pieces of meat. "As you can see these are far from being ready to eat. I'm going to show you how to trim them in preparation for consumption."
Naruto just gave the man a funny look but didn't speak. He just sat there watching as the man trimmed fat and gristle away. Kisame did his best to take his time in showing Naruto the proper ways of preparing it. Taking his time he explained what he was doing, and what he was trimming off. After a few minutes work, Kisame presented with Naruto with perfectly prepped tenderloin.
"Now Naruto, I showed you how to do this and want you to do the same thing to the other piece of meat while I go retrieve some water."
Naruto just looked down at the piece of meat before looking at Kisame's retreating form. Giving the piece of meat one more glance before he took a kunai from his pouch and began to work.
----
It didn't take long for Kisame to return with a pail of water. The man wanted to see if Naruto was capable of doing a simple task. He made it a point to take his time when he had showed the boy, since he seemed to work best through observation. It didn't manner how many times you explained anything to the brat he wouldn't get it, but show him how it's done and he'll have down.
Pulling away from his thoughts, Kisame continued his trek to the camp. There he was greeted by a smiling, if a little bloodier than he should be, Naruto, holding out the item he was tasked with. Giving the boy a small smile, he took the chunk of meat from him and inspected it.
'Good he trimmed all the fat away with wasting as little meat as possible.'
Turning it over he noticed something that should be one of the first things removed, a small strip of silver skin. (For those who never butchered an animal or have done their own meat processing, silver skin is something that covers some muscle tissue. I, myself am not sure what it exactly does but I know this. If you leave it on and cook it, it will become very tough and sometimes even shrink. Either way it's not something I would want to eat.)
Heaving a sigh, Kisame prepared himself to do what his mother did to him when he messed up in the kitchen. That was to smack some sense into him, either with a wooden spoon or even a fish. Raising his arm, the piece of meat in hand, he began to give his lesson.
----
Back to the present…
Naruto shivered slightly as he remembered Kisame's cooking 'lessons.' This of course, drew the attention from the young women across from him.
"You okay Naruto-kun?"
'Kun?' The blonde haired man thought to himself as he looked at the girl.
"I'm fine, was just thinking of the past. By the way how was your breakfast?"
"It was delicious. I honestly wouldn't mind eating this every morning."
Naruto smiled at the complement while being completely oblivious to what she could possibly be insinuating.
"Well I'm glad you appreciate it, unlike others…" Naruto said as he thought of Kiba, the goddamn mutt ate anything with equal abandon.
Sighing as he thought of his friend and now roommate, he got up and cleaned off the table, unaware at the pair of eyes that were staring at his back intently.
----
Temari watched as Naruto worked, dumping the scraps into a waste bin and began to wash the dishes.
'He can cook, he can clean, Christ he's perfect boyfriend material.'
'You got that right sister!'a cheerful voice said as it agreed with her.
'What are you doing back out?'
'You think you can keep me contained with all these naughty thoughts going through your head? You're in for another thing.'
'I take it you're going to be around a lot more' Temari deadpanned.
'You know it, but enough worrying about me. If I were you, I would focus on the blonde Adonis that's sitting across from you now.'
Temari glanced to see her inner self wasn't wrong, as she saw Naruto sitting back across from her, drinking another cup of coffee and watching her.
----
After finishing the finishing his coffee, he returned to looking at his guest. She seemed to be deep in thought at the moment, allowing him to look at her face. She had changed greatly in the years that Naruto hasn't seen her. She used to have rounder features, something common in with many fifteen year old girls. Now she was left with a face of pure beauty, high cheekbones with skin that was slightly tanned, all without a blemish or minor scars, a sign of her skill as a kunoichi.
Looking slightly higher, Naruto took notice of her hair. When she was younger her hair had a slightly darker tone of blonde than Naruto's but now it almost matched his in shade, most likely the result of constant exposure to the sun in Suna. One thing he surmised while she was pretty when she was younger, she was absolutely gorgeous now. Not that he would ever let her know that. He knew the ways of women, while they love receiving compliments; they loved bragging to their friends about said compliments more. He didn't need Gaara catching wind of him having somewhat unwholesome thoughts about his sister and crushing his limbs.
"So what's Gaara been up to?" Naruto asked, hoping to get a conversation going.
"Not much, been crying about the evils of paperwork."
Naruto spoke with a chuckle "So he really did make Kage then?"
"Yeah, never thought he'd be the whining type, he knew what he would be getting into when accepted the position."
"Can't say I'm envious though." Naruto added.
"What was that? I don't think I heard you right, did you just say you were ok with Gaara making Kage before you?" Temari said as she made a gesture that she was hard of hearing.
"Yeah yeah, laugh it up."
"Oh come on now, can't you take a little teasing. Sakura said that you always dreamed about being the Hokage. Don't tell me you gave up on your dream."
"I didn't give up anything. I just matured a little bit."
Temari just looked at him, before bursting into a fit of snickers that evolved into guffaws. Leaving Naruto to glare at her, before he started smirking himself.
"I can't… believe…" Temari wheezed out between laughs, "That you actually called yourself mature!"
Naruto had the decency to look hurt at her comment but the smile on his face betrayed him.
"Are you saying I'm immature Temari-Chan?"
Temari looked at him as her laughter died down slightly. She took an extra moment to compose herself before speaking. "Naruto, all I have to go by is the memory of the loud brat from the Chuunin exam years ago." 'Cute but loud' she added in her mind.
"So you thought I was cute eh?" Naruto asked; playfulness present in his voice.
-----
Temari just gaped. 'I didn't say that out loud did I?'
Inner Temari spoke in a tone that promised teasing. 'Yeah, you did, bout time you admitted to your desires.'
'I don't like him like that!'
'Could've fooled me, especially with all the fantasies floating around here.'
'I am not fantasizing about him damn it!'
'So you're saying one about him taking you on the kitchen counter is my imagination then?'
'Yes'
'I would call you a liar then. I couldn't think of that in my wildest dreams…'
'You're the pervert here, not I.'
'I don't believe you.'
'I don't care.'
'I think you want hump him till the cows come home.'
'No I don't.'
'Yes you do.'
'No I don't.'
'Yes you do.
Inner Temari just sighed as she argued with herself. It was times like this that required the use of the old reverse psychology.
'No you don't to have sex with Naruto.'
'Yes I do.'
'No you don't'
"Yes! I want Naruto to have his filthy way with me, on the counter, on the table, even against the fridge! I want him to make me the woman that Shika never did!" She shouted with all her might.
-----
Naruto just stared in wonder as the girl fell into another bout of silence after his comment. Seeing that she wouldn't be speaking for awhile, Naruto decided to get himself another cup of coffee. With that done he sat back in his chair and watched in amusement as several emotions crossed across Temari's face.
'Wonder if that's how I looked when I was arguing with Kyuu?' Naruto thought as he lifted his mug to his lips…
"Yes! I want Naruto to have his filthy way with me, on the counter, on the table, even against the fridge! I want him to make me the woman that Shika never did!" Temari suddenly shouted, causing Naruto to bite through his mug, nearly cutting the end of his tongue off.
Choking as he felt hot coffee go down the wrong pipe. The man could do all but stare at the girl after that outburst. At least the young woman had a look of embarrassment on her face.
"Did I say that out loud?" Temari meekly asked.
Naruto just sat there, pounding a fist against his chest as he stared at her, not believing what he just heard. Seeing that he could breathe again, he spoke.
"Yeah… Didn't know you felt that way about me, considering you don't really know me that well." Naruto said as he glanced down at the table top. Not a wise choice after hearing what he did, as an image of a naked Temari beckoning to him.
'Ero thoughts bad got to remember she could kill me or worse, she might castrate me!' Naruto roared to himself mentally as he turned to look at counter. An even more disturbing image came from that action.
'Where the hell did that come from? I heard that women tended to have mood swings, but that was nuts!'
"Naruto…" Temari started to say, trying to come to terms to what she had just admitted, pain slightly evident in her voice, tears coming to her eyes. "I understand if you want me to leave."
Naruto thought process shifted to a manageable pace when he heard those words. He may have been an idiot in the past, but he wasn't one now. While he would still think of himself as dense in certain situations, he could tell that the girl across from his was a bit emotional. It fell on him to at least comfort her. Reaching across the table, he grasped one of hands and began to rub the flesh that lay between her thumb and forefinger.
"It's ok Temari. You don't need to cry."
The girl sniffled lightly before smiling at him. Instantly making him feel a little bit better and putting the past incident behind them. Marveling at how soft her hand felt, Naruto tightened his grip slightly, causing the girl to blush at the intimate contact. Naruto didn't care though; he hated seeing girls cry and would do anything in his power to fix it.
"So Temari…" He began, "You and the lazy ass dated?"
Temari nodded before speaking. "We dated for a couple weeks before realizing that we just had a crush on each other."
"Sorry to hear that couldn't really imagine him in a relationship though. He would end up having the girl do everything." Naruto said as he winked suggestively at the end of the sentence. Causing Temari to giggle a little bit, making him smile a little bit wider.
"Thank you, Naruto."
"You're welcome Temari, but can I ask you something?"
"Hmm?"
"Why would you want a guy like me to do that kind of stuff with you?"
Temari felt herself flushed as she realized what Naruto was asking her. She thought of way to lie but soon realized she couldn't bring herself to do it.
"Naruto I'm going to be completely honest with you. When I first met you, I thought you were a loudmouth brat, but after you spared Gaara after the Chuunin exam I saw something that rarely exists in our line of career. I saw compassion, I saw a boy who would put his life on hold so he could better the lives of those around him." Temari said as she got up and walked over to where Naruto was sitting. Using her leg, she moved his chair back far enough to allow her to settle into his lap.
"You did something for my little brother that no one had ever done. You gave him his humanity back and for that you will always have my gratitude. When we returned to Suna, all Gaara would talk about was you. How you had a life similar to him but you never let it get to you. I still don't understand what he meant, but whatever it was, it brought a change in Gaara."
Naruto just sat there dumbfounded as Temari opened her soul to him. While he winced when he heard her talk about how Gaara and he were similar, as both were containers for the Bijuu, he was glad that Gaara didn't really reveal anything to her. While those thoughts ran through his mind as he listened to her speak, he noted something else. The girl sitting in his lap felt nice, he didn't even feel the nervousness that he felt when he was in close, intimate contact with a woman. 'It just feels… right' Naruto thought to himself as he listened to the girl speak.
"Now after all these years I get to see you again, have a chance to find out what makes you, you. Add to the fact your quite attractive is a nice bonus."
Naruto just sat there speechless. No one had ever wanted to find out what made him the man he was today. He had been called attractive before though, but those comments were mostly driven by lust from the fairer sex. Something he didn't like. He couldn't understand how a relationship could be based on lust alone, but it apparently happened to a special few.
"Naruto?"
"Yes?"
"Thank you." Temari said as she wrapped her arms around him, "Thank you for listening to me. It was really sweet of you."
Naruto sat there, taking in what he heard when he felt it. Those soft lips pressed against his. 'Is she?… Oh my god she is!' Naruto thought wildly as he felt himself melt into the foreign sensation.
-----
"Thank you." Temari said as she wrapped her arms around him, "Thank you for listening to me. It was really sweet of you."
'You should kiss him.'
For once she didn't argue. Pulling Naruto closer she kissed him gently on the mouth. Temari could feel when Naruto hitched his breath. Smiling inwardly, she deepened the kiss. After a long minute he released him and admired the man before her. The effect of kiss linger long after it ended. Naruto just sat there unmoving, eyes staring into the nothingness. Giggling slightly, Temari flicked his nose, getting the reaction she wanted.
"You… kissed me…"
"Yes, I did. Are you telling me you didn't enjoy it?" Temari asked with a mock pout, her attitude a complete one eighty from what it was minutes before.
"No! Nothing like that, just never would've expected to be kissed by such a beautiful woman." Naruto said as he waved his hands in placating gesture.
"So you think I'm beautiful do you?" Temari asked with a hint a teasing.
"Of course, one would have to be an idiot not to."
"So you don't think I'm pretty then?" Temari said with a pout.
"I didn't say that!" Naruto shouted before realizing that was she teasing him. "Hey I'm not an idiot…"
Temari didn't give him a chance to finish before she covered his mouth with another kiss. It was an odd experience for her. While she could understand that Naruto would lack experience, he seemed to make up with technique. Either way she was happy with the efforts. It would be two minutes later when both felt the need for air.
Withdrawing her lips, Temari sucked in a quick breath as she examined his face. The signs of the boy that used to exist years prior were still evident. He had a look of pure innocence; that was betrayed by the slyness his whisker like marks added. His eye were still seemed that deep shade of blue she remembered, but upon closer examination, Temari realized they we're actually slightly violet. Not that anyone would notice from a distance.
"So are we like a couple now?" Naruto asked.
Temari sat there for a moment, a finger placed against her lower lip in thought.
"I wouldn't say we're a couple yet. I would put more like we're really close friends." Temari said as she noticed disappointment flash across Naruto's eyes. "But, we could become one, if you really want. Both of us would have to put in some effort. You know the standards, a date here and there, getting to know one another better."
"I would like to try Temari-chan."
"As would I, Naruto-kun. But I believe it's time for me to leave. I mean it's almost eleven you know?"
"What?!" Naruto suddenly shouted, glancing at the clock to confirm his fear. He was supposed to go to the Jounin lounge and meet with new instructor at the training fields within an hour.
Temari sat there in amusement as Naruto flailed his arms wildly. She had to admit, his childish ways still shown through. Getting up from his lap, she watched as he rushed from the kitchen to his room to grab his supplies in a manic. She giggled openly when he smacked the top of his head in the top of his door jam. Sighing lightly she thought of her mission, she knew she couldn't just sleep with him. Not without pursuing a relationship first, sure the thoughts of him nude caused her to blush and stutter like a preteen, but she owed him more than that.
-----
"Stupid standard doorframes, stupid little normal people…" Naruto muttered darkly as rubbed his sore forehead.
He had forgotten that the doors to the bedrooms were actually smaller than the rest of the house as he hurried, resulting in a self inflicted blow that would have knocked a lesser man out cold. Growling to himself, he strapped on his kunai holster and put on his Jounin vest, before heading back to the kitchen. He was half way there when he felt himself being twisted around. Only to find himself captured in a kiss.
'I could get used to this' Naruto thought as he returned the kiss.
"The earlier ones were my way of thanking you; that one… was because I wanted to." Temari said as she stuck her tongue out at him as she walked towards his front door.
Naruto watched her walk away, noticing how her hips swayed with every step, the motion mesmerizing him.
"I'll see you tomorrow Naruto-kun."
"I'll be waiting." Naruto said to the girl as she left. Naruto stood there for a moment, forgetting the task at hand, before realization kicked in. "Shit! I'm going to be late."
-----
Naruto sped across the rooftops in search of his destination. To the onlookers below it seemed like a flash of yellow was leaping over the alleyways with no idea where it was going, and they wouldn't be wrong. After making his second loop around the market district, Naruto realized he had no idea where the Jounin lounge was. Sighing he looked for anyone that could help, give him directions at least, but the rooftops seemed deserted.
'Damn this time of peace. If this was years prior, this place would be covered with ninja.'
Naruto thought about cursing his luck to the heavens when he felt the air around him shift. Turning quickly he caught a glance of black, the shine of a porcelain mask. Realizing that he saw an Anbu, he did what he always did. He shouted at the top of his lungs.
"Yo Anbu-san!"
The Anbu stopped his leap before turning towards Naruto. Shaking his head he leapt towards the young man.
Naruto smiled to himself as he saw the masked figure come closer to him. Now that the figure was in front, Naruto was a little surprised, for the Anbu wore a mask that was painted like a bear and was a few centimeters short of him if that. A size that wasn't common in this part of the world.
"Can I help you Namikaze-san?" a feminine voice asked, causing Naruto to do a double take.
"You, You're a woman?" Naruto asked, his previous question forgotten. This caused the woman to chuckle lightly.
"I take it you thought I was a man, Namikaze-san?"
"I'm sorry Kuma-san, but I didn't mean to insult. I just thought you were a man considering your size. I mean it's not that common for a man to be that large, much less a woman."
"I can assure you that I'm all women, Namikaze-san." Kuma said with a hint of seductiveness, causing Naruto to blush.
"I…I trust you Kuma-san but could you help me for a moment?"
Kuma nodded and gestured for him to continue, much to his relief.
"You don't happen to know where the Jounin lounge is?"
Kuma nodded once again and gestured to the building the two were standing on.
"We're standing on it kiddo."
Naruto bowed to her in thanks before leaping to the alley below. Leaving the Kuma to watch his retreating form.
"Wait till the girls hear about that guy when I return to headquarters." Kuma said to no one before she returned to her patrol.
-----
Naruto opened the side door of the building and made his way to what he assumed was the main room. As he walked he saw various Jounins, some he had recognized in passing while others he didn't know. One thing held true though, all the female Jounin eyed with a look that radiated lust. 'Serves me right for forgetting my mask at home I suppose.'
Soon he had found the main lounge, only to be greeted by a smoking Ibiki that was reading the paper. The older man didn't seem to sense his arrival as he continued reading. Naruto didn't care though; he saw something that took his full attention. There on the table before Ibiki, sat a pack of cigarettes along with a lighter. Rational thought thrown to the wind, Naruto grabbed the pack, pulled one out and had it lit in less than five seconds.
"You know you could have asked me if you could bum a smoke Naruto." Ibiki said as he tilted the paper to look at his younger friend.
Naruto didn't answer. He just stood there savoring the light headedness that came with that first rush of nicotine of the day. Exhaling the smoke through his nostrils, Naruto took a seat across from Ibiki.
"You make it sound like you don't like me. I'm honestly hurt."
Ibiki chuckled deeply as he sat the paper down.
"Cut it out Naruto, you know I think of you as a younger, albeit dense, brother."
"Your words, they wound me to the soul."
"Jokes aside Naruto, aren't you supposed to meet with a fellow Jounin?"
"Yeah, don't know who or where though. Kisame said I was supposed to meet him here."
"The large blue guy?"
"That's Kisame"
"He asked me to relay a message for you, said your instructor would be waiting at training field ten around noon. Also said he would see you later, mentioned something about groceries."
'Oh lord what does he plan on making us tonight?'
"I don't think you should sit around here like an idiot Naruto, considering you have about ten minutes to get to the other side of town."
"You're joking right?"
"Do I look the joking type?"
Naruto didn't bother answering him, deciding to leave in a blur.
"Strange kid," Ibiki said to himself before he noticed the half finished cigarette burning in the ashtray. Picking it up, he finished it and returned to his paper.
-----
Naruto pumped chakra into his legs, pushing his speed to something that would have rivaled his father's. With one last leap, Naruto descended from the rooftops and entered the canopy that signified the beginnings of the train grounds. Running along the path he counted the signs he passed. Training ground five soon turned to six. So enthralled in his run, Naruto didn't notice he was about to run straight into someone. After a small collision and a few choice words, Naruto found himself staring at brat he hadn't seen in years.
"What the hell man? Don't you watch where you're going?!"
"Konohamaru?"
Brown eyes looked at blue for a moment before recognition kicked in.
"Boss?"
"My god the brat really did grow up; thought you would be a munchkin forever." Naruto said with a chuckle before he was tackled in a hug.
"Is it really you boss?"
"Who else would I be kiddo?"
"Where the hell have you been? Last I heard you were supposed to be returned six years ago."
"Well…" Naruto said as he rubbed the back of his head, "I kind of took an extended training sabbatical."
Konohamaru nodded and was about to question more when a shrill scream cut through the air.
"Konohamaru you idiot! What were you thinking leaving us behind?!" Yelled a girl who had a boy with glasses trailing behind her.
"Sorry Mo-Chan was in a bit of a hurry but guess who I found?"
"Who?" Moegi questioned as she looked at Naruto.
"You're telling me you forgot about the boss?" Kon asked, gesturing to Naruto for extra effect.
The girl scrutinized Naruto for a moment, going so far that prodded him a couple times.
"Jeez, Moegi its Naruto okay, you don't need to poke at him like he's a piece of meat."
"Naruto…senpai."
"The one and only, little lady." Naruto said as he flashed a foxy grin.
"Senpai!" The girl squealed as she glomped onto Naruto.
Naruto spun her for a bit before sitting her back down. Turning he looked at the boy who wore glasses.
"I take it that this fine young man is Udon?"
The boy in question bowed, it was only right as they were greeting their friend but also their superior.
"Naruto-sama"
"What's with the 'sama'? It's just me guys, don't say 'sama' it makes me sound old. Or do you guys think I'm old. I bet that's it isn't it! You damn kids think you're better than me?!" Naruto yelled jokingly.
The three young ninja just stared at the spectacle before them, before Moegi burst into fit of giggles, followed by the guffaws of her male teammates.
"We don't think you're old senpai." Udon said, "It's just that it appears you're a Jounin now; effectively making you our superior."
"Bah! I'm only your superior during missions, unless you're talking skill wise. I mean, I'm pretty sure I could wipe the floor with Konohamaru while blindfolded with both arms tied behind my back."
"What was that Old man?" Kon asked, a tick mark appearing on his forehead.
"You say something brat?"
"That's it!" Konohamaru shouted, "You're going down old man!"
"Bring it punk!" Naruto bellowed as he got into a loose stance while chuckling.
With a cry of anger Kon charged Naruto, preparing to give him an axe kick to the head. He didn't see the haymaker coming from his teammate.
Naruto winced as he witnessed Kon get knocked out cold by Moegi. 'Great another Tsunade in the making…' Naruto thought as Udon poked Konohamaru's unconscious form.
"Sorry about your spar senpai, but we have a mission to attend to." Moegi said as she kicked Kon for good measure.
"Sorry to keep you guys waiting then. Good luck with your mission guys."
"Thanks senpai." Moegi said as she dragged Konohamaru towards the village.
'Cute kids' Naruto thought to himself as he made his way to training ground ten.
-----
Naruto arrived with thirty seconds to spare. Taking a seat against a tree next to a pond, Naruto awaited the arrival of his instructor. A few more minutes passed in silence, not that it mattered to Naruto. Times like this were few and far between for Naruto. Too bad it had to end sometime. It started as a flock of birds flew away from their perch. A small tremor followed, causing the pond next to ripple. Then trees began to fall in quick sequence. The he heard the shout, or rather shouts.
"Dynamic Entry!"
'Oh god no, anything but that…'
-----
Omake: The Misadventures of Itachi…
Konohamaru was pissed. His team had finally returned from a three month long mission out of Fire country and finally had a chance to get some deserved rest. But no, the old bag he had to call Hokage gave his team another mission as soon as he reported the success of their previous one. And the final thing that proved to be the straw that broke the camel's back? It was a simple guard mission, one that didn't even have to make them leave the village. They had to guard a shipment for a candy store no less. It was better suited for a team of Genin, not his team of Chunnins.
Stomping out of the Hokage's office, Konohamaru left to find his team, searching around the various training grounds for signs of his team. It was when he came upon training ground seven that he found them. Apparently his two teammates were in the middle of a heated spar. Konohamaru watched as they traded blows for a few minutes before interrupting.
"Yo" he said with enough volume to make the two stop mid action. "We got a mission."
Udon and Moegi immediately turned and walked over to their team captain.
"So boss…" Moegi started "What's our mission entail?"
Konohomaru sighed, he knew he was going to get yelled at and possibly a fist in the face from Moegi while Udon watched, but he had a duty to fulfill as a Konoha ninja.
"We've been hired to guard a shipment…" Kon said as he gauged his teammate's reactions, both seemed pleased but it wouldn't last, "for a merchant in the village."
"What?!" Moegi yelled, reminding him of Naruto's old teammate.
"I hate to say it Konohamaru, but this mission is something that a team of Genin would handle." Udon said in an analytical tone.
"I know guys but this guy must be an important person to the Hokage to warrant us being used. We can't complain about it."
His two teammates sighed as there were no faults to his comment, though he could see that Moegi was seething. Heaving a sigh he gestured for the two to follow him as they made way to meet with the client.
----
The walk to the store was uneventful aside from meeting up with someone the three hadn't seen in over nine years. After a short talk with Naruto the three were soon on their ways to the store they have been hired to protect. A few more minutes walking, they were at the client's place of business. Looking at the sign on the front of it, Konohomaru could feel his left eye begin to tick. It would be Moegi that voiced his thoughts exactly.
"We were hired to guard a candy store?" She asked no one in particular.
Konohomaru was about to answer her before a voice interrupted him. Turning to the source, he came face to face with a young man wearing an apron.
"You three must be the ninja Tsunade said would be guarding my shipment."
"I take it you're Yuka, our client?"
The man smiled and nodded. "That would be me. Since the shipment is due for a few more hours, how bout I give you guys a tour?"
Kon glanced at his teammates before nodding the man known as Yuka. The man smiled widely as he gestured for the others to follow him. They all looked around the store as the man showed the assortment of products he sold.
"While we are known as a Pocky specialty store, we sell many forms of sweets, many made in store."
"You make candy?" Moegi asked as she eyed a kunai shaped chocolate in a glass display case.
"That's correct little lady. Would you like to see how some are made?"
Moegi nodded and followed the man behind to counter that led to the back of the shop, leaving Kon and Udon to stand around.
-----
After an hour and many free samples, the three Chuunin sat outside the store's rear entrance waiting for the shipment to arrive. Well two of them were sitting while the third was bouncing around, the result of a sugar high.
Kon just sighed as he watched Moegi, who was now running up and down the wall of the building. "You know I don't get Yuka." He said to Udon.
"How so?"
"Well think about it. The man makes candy, why couldn't he just make his own Pocky instead of shipping it in. I mean it's nothing more than wafer sticks dipped in a candy coating right?"
"I agree. I must be cheaper than having it shipped in. Especially with the added cost of keeping it cool with fire country's summer weather."
"So why doesn't he just make it here?"
It would be Moegi that gave the answer as she gracefully flipped off the wall.
"Yuka-san said something about it being a trade secret; seemed worried that someone would steal his recipe or something." Said the girl as she started walking around on her hands.
Kon just shook as his head as he spotted a wagon coming their way, signaling that the shipment has arrived. Looking around the rooftops for signs of bandits, Kon felt relieved that there was none. Feeling himself relax a bit, he ordered his team to help the delivery men. The sooner the stuff was unloaded, the sooner they could return to the Hokage and report a success.
-----
They had unloaded all but a few crates, when Udon sensed someone watching them. Sitting the crate he was about to unload down, he made a small whistle that sounded like a bird chirping, a sign his team had come up with to alert one another. Kon and Moegi heard this and stopped what they were doing. The former making hand signs to Udon.
'What is it?' Kon gestured.
'We're being watched.' Udon gestured back.
'How many?'
'I can sense only one person but from the feel of their chakra, they must be strong.'
'Ok, I want you to take position on the left side of the wagon' Kon signed then turned, 'Moegi I want you to take right side. I will protect it from the front.'
Moegi and Udon nodded at the silent orders and drew kunai while they formed a loose battle formation. They didn't get any farther before their world faded to black.
-----
Konohamaru just stood there as he watched his teammates be subdued by a lone figure in black. Drawing another kunai, Kon felt himself slip into a stance similar to that of his uncle's.
"Who are you and what did you do to my friends?!" the young man asked as he prepared for an attack.
"Listen, I came here for one thing and I'll be damned if I don't get it." The figure said in an emotionless voice.
"Then you'll have to go through me!"
"So be it, Tsukuyomi." The figure said as his red eyes began to spin.
Kon braced himself for the attack to hit but nothing came. Opening his eyes slightly he noticed he wasn't in Konoha anymore, but rather a barren landscape with a large moon overhead. It was then he heard the voice of his assailant.
"You are in my Tsukuyomi world. Here I control everything, so for the next seventy two hours you will be exposed to your greatest…"
Kon shuddered as he heard these words. He had heard of this attack before. It meant that the attacker was an Uchiha and that he had received the highest form of the sharingan. He would be in for a world of pain.
"…fantasy."
Kon just stood there speechless before the landscape shifted again. Now he found himself back in Konoha again, but it was different. The village seemed the same but there were more buildings than Kon remembered. Looking around he noticed that he was standing before a large crowd in front the Hokage tower and that he was dressed in the robes that signified that he was the new leader of the village. Then it clicked, he really was in the middle of his greatest fantasy. The day he would become Hokage and recognized as himself instead of his lineage. Smiling he turned to the crowd and prepared to give his speech.
-----
In the Tsukuyomi world Moegi style…
"…fantasy."
Moegi just stared into the landscape before she sensed a presence behind her. Turning quickly, she came face to face with a Naruto clad only in boxers.
"Senpai?" The young girl squeaked out as Naruto walked towards her.
"Yes Moegi-Chan?" The man said as he moved to embrace her.
"What are you doing senpai?"
"I believe I'm going to help you live out your greatest fantasy." Naruto said as kissed the crook of her neck and began to undress her.
"B-but senpai…" Moegi moaned out as she felt herself melt into his caresses. "What if someone sees us?"
"My my, is that all you're worried about my sweet little Moegi? I can assure you that it's just of the two of us here." Naruto said he let his hands slide down the near nude girls back, stopping at her rear to give a small grope causing the girl to gasp. "Now relax and let me do the work. I'm sure I won't disappoint you, my little Mo-chan."
Moegi tried to protest but whatever she was going to say died in throat as she faced Naruto. There before her was the boy, now a man, that she had fantasized about since she was a little girl. She looked into his deep blue eyes seeing a hint of mischief before he lowered his face to kiss her. While she had kissed boys before, none of them held a candle to this. It was such a thing of beauty that she didn't even notice she was fully nude. She didn't care, she just wanted to keep going, but all good things come to an end.
Moegi almost cried out when Naruto stopped kissing her, only to be silenced when a finger was placed against her lips. Looking at Naruto she noticed that he was kneeling down. Then she felt another feathery kiss, this time in the cleft between her breasts. Then another at her belly button. Soon she felt another kiss a little lower as she felt strong hands massage the small of her back. Finally she felt a kiss on the flesh just above her most private area.
'Oh my god, Oh my god, I can't believe this is happening!' Moegi repeated in her mind.
But all of a sudden it stopped, much to the girl's dismay. She was so close to a release.
"Senpai?" the girl said with disappointment evident in her voice as she looked down at Naruto.
The man in question just looked up at her and flashed a foxy grin, before returning to give her one more final kiss.
"Ooooh senpai…" Moegi moaned out as she felt Naruto place one last kiss.
-----
Itachi stood there, grinning like the cat that ate the canary as he admired his work. Even though he may have been an S-ranked Nukenin in the past, he loved knowing that he could solve a confrontation without resorting to violence. The fact he was a witness to these three young ninja's fantasies was a bonus.
He smiled as he looked down at the three unconscious Chuunins. The leader of the trio laid there with a smile on his face. Itachi was impressed with his fantasy, it held an innocence that many ninja lose in their careers, but he knew he would have still expected it from the grandson of the late Sandaime. Now the one with the glasses freaked him out a little bit, his fantasy was something the Uchiha never wanted to see in his life. Trying to drive the memory of it out of his mind, he turned to the last of them, the single female of the group.
Now her greatest fantasy was something that Jiraiya would dream about. Itachi would have loved to stay and watch it some more but he had a secret mission to complete. Throwing the three a quick glance, he turned to the items he needed to take to complete his mission. Picking up the three remaining crates, he sat them down on the ground. Reaching into his cloak, he retrieved two items. The first, a simple storage scroll that Naruto had given him to ease his travels, the second an envelope that contained money to pay for the merchandise he was taking. 'Wouldn't be called stealing if he paid for items.' Placing the envelope on the wagon in plain sight, he turned to the crates. Completing a few hand signs, the crates disappeared in a puff of smoke as the kanji for 'crates' appeared on the scroll.
'Well that's all of it' Itachi thought to himself as he returned the scroll to his cloak and jumped to the roof tops. 'Time to go announce my success to my superior.
-----
Yuka stood in his store talking to the man who delivered his twice weekly shipments from his pocky factory, when he noticed that he hadn't seen the three he hired for well over fifteen minutes.
"Have you seen those kids?" He asked the man before him "Shouldn't have taken them this long to unload the wagon."
"No idea boss."
"Wonder what's taking them so long unless…" Realization dawned upon him. "Oh no!"
Rushing out the door he was half expecting to be witness a battle of epic proportions. Sure it would have been over wafer sticks, but it would be epic nonetheless. As he ran out the door, the first thing he noted was that there were three bodies lying on the ground, unmoving. Fearing the worst, he rushed to the closest one, the boy whose name was Konohamaru; who laid there with a smile on his face.
Placing two fingers to the boy's throat, Yuka could feel a strong pulse. 'He alive!' the man thought as he lifted the boy and attempted to awaken him. After a minute or two of light shaking, the boy began to come to.
"What happened?" Kon groaned out as he rubbed his eyes.
"It appears that your team was attacked." Yuka said as helped the boy to his feet.
"That's right, a man in black… oh god! Udon, Moegi are they ok?"
"They seem to be breathing, but you should try to wake them." Yuka said as he examined the wagon, trying to make sense of what was stolen.
Kon nodded dumbly as he made his way over to Udon. Stopping to examine his friend, he noticed that he wasn't in any bad shape, just appeared to sleeping. Now being one that seems to go for actions first without thinking consequence. He did what he normally did when had to wake Udon. He kicked him in the side.
"Come on you lazy ass, your turning into your cousin…OOF!" Kon managed to say before he felt the air forced out of his lungs.
Udon just glared him as he pulled his fist out of his friend's side. Lifting himself up, he made his way over to Yuka to see what was stolen, leaving Kon the task of waking up Moegi.
After taking a moment to regain the ability to breathe, Kon made his way over to where Moegi was laying. What he came upon disturbed him greatly. There before him, lay Moegi, but this was not the thing that bothered him. The fact that her faced seem flushed and she alternated between giggling and moaning every few seconds did though. 'This looks like a scene from those books Kakashi-senpai is always reading' Kon thought to himself as he watched the girl sleep, 'Time to wake her up though.'
Kon kneeled down next to her and began to poke her at various points in an effort to wake her. When that didn't work he began to slap her face lightly to no effect. Kon heaved a sigh; it was time for desperate measures. 'Forgive me Moegi' Kon thought as he raised his hand farther, he prepared to slap her with a little more force. As his hand began to make its descent, he didn't notice the figure below him wake up. It was the fist to the face that did.
-----
"You ok kid?" Yuka asked as Udon walked over to him.
"I'm feeling well Yuka-san, actually better than well actually."
"Well that's good to hear, how about your teammate?"
Udon was about to answer him when the sound of a fist hitting flesh cracked through the area, followed by Konohamaru arching ever so gracefully over Udon and Yuka.
"It seems Moegi is awake." Udon said as he watched Yuka gape openly at the Kunoichi to the side. Being one exposed to this on a daily basis, Udon continued. "So what is missing Yuka-san?"
Yuka just stared at the girl for a moment before answering the boy's question. "It seems the thief made off with three cases of our newest pocky. A shame really, this is the second time in two weeks."
"I guess that means we failed huh?" Kon said as he walked up to the two, rubbing his sore jaw.
"I wouldn't say that…" Yuka said as he examined the contents of the envelope the thief left behind.
"What do you mean Yuka-san?" Moegi asked as she glared daggers at her team leader.
"Well… I hired you guys to prevent the theft."
"But he made off with your stuff…" Kon started.
"Well, it's not theft when the thief pays for the merchandise is it?" Yuka said as he fanned out the bills for the three to see.
"Now that's a lot of money…"
-----
Tsunade sat in her office as she waited word from the two missions gave out today when she felt a somewhat familiar chakra emanating from her window.
"You can come in now Itachi."
"Thank you Hokage-sama, it was getting a bit hot out there."
"I take it the mission was a success?"
Itachi flashed a knowing grin as he unsealed the scroll, revealing three crates packed to the brim with pocky.
"Yes!" Tsunade shouted as she scrambled next to Itachi and grabbed a box as Itachi did the same.
Both sat in the office munching away in silence for a few minutes before Tsunade spoke.
"I take it you had no trouble from Konohomaru."
Itachi nodded as he kept munching away.
"You didn't hurt them did you?"
"Just used Tsukuyomi on them, nothing big." Itachi said as pulled another stick of pocky from its box.
"Tsukuyomi?! Are you crazy? You could have caused them to have a mental breakdown. Hell you almost caused Kakashi to go in a permanent coma!"
Itachi just gestured for her to relax before he spoke. "Don't worry Tsunade-sama. I didn't place them in a normal Tsukuyomi, I just let them live out their fantasies for a bit."
Tsunade felt a sense of relief flow over her as soon as she heard those words. Then she realized something, whoever placed that genjutsu on someone usually could remember the events they had witnessed. Smirking ever so slightly she spoke.
"So what did you see Itachi?"
Itachi raised an eyebrow at her. "Are you asking me to reveal their fantasies?"
"Maybe…" she drawled out.
"I don't know Hokage-sama that seems something very personal. I don't know if I could tell you what I saw in good conscience."
"I'll split the third crate with you."
Itachi grinned as she fell into his plan. "Well that's an offer I can't possibly resist…"
Tsunade sat on the edge of her seat as Itachi revealed what he saw. He started with Kon's fantasy first. Describing all that he saw, leaving her with a new sense of pride in the brat, even though she gave him this mission to get him out of her hair. Then came Moegi's fantasy which left her breathless. She had never expected an innocent girl to have such lewd desires, especially about Naruto. Add to the fact that Itachi described it like a scene from Jiraiya's novels added fuel to the fire. She could feel that her face was flushed. She was waiting to hear what Udon fantasized about when Itachi stopped and stood up.
"I'm sorry Tsunade-sama, but I must take my leave."
"What?! You can't be serious? Tell me what Udon dreams about!" Tsunade yelled as she stood up.
"I sorry but I can't, I'm already late for dinner as it is, and Kisame would be most unpleasant if I missed it again."
Tsunade sat down with a huff, glaring at the Uchiha slightly.
"So same time next week Tsunade-sama?" Itachi asked as he walked towards the window.
"Yeah, yeah, just go on and get."
"I'm hurt Hokage-sama" Itachi said he held his chest in mock pain while he flashed a rare smile, "I thought I found a person who shared my love in the perfect creation that is pocky."
Tsunade couldn't help but chuckle at the Narutoesque antics that Itachi was performing.
"Fine, but you're going to tell me what Udon dreams of next time, you know that right?"
Itachi nodded as he left; a small case of pocky under each arm. When he was on a rooftop that was well out of earshot of the Hokage's tower he had one thought going through his mind.
'No way in hell, am I going to tell her that the kid with the glasses dreams of receiving a lap dance from her…'
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A/N:
Sorry for the long wait guys, but things came up real life and I needed to focus on them first. That as well as a bad bout of writers block is to blame for my slow ass update. Last but not least, I know I added some Tem/Naru fluff along with a Moe/Naru lime, but be assured this story will still be Naru/Saku in some form. But at least you guys aren't prepared to lynch me right? Right?!
As always read and review. Till the next time folks.