Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Parachute Pants or any songs here.
--
"Okay! So…how do you feel?"
"…Honestly?"
"Yes, honestly!"
"I-I think my groin has been ripped in half."
Ponchi looked over from the mail on his table to the blonde haired boy currently performing a split on his living room floor.
"That means you're doing it correctly. Right, Jan?"
Jan nodded.
"M-Maybe if I used using my other pants and not…" Naruto painfully gestured to his pants. "These…"
Ponchi fully turned around to his temporary student.
"Those are PARACHUTE PANTS. Parachute pants have been on this earth longer then many us," He pointed his imaginary finger at Naruto. "If you cannot endure our teachings in parachute pants, then you are hopeless."
"But they look so STUPID!!
"Only to other people they do. The leggings are loose and the fabric is perfect for enduring the friction between you and the ground. The best sort of pants for beginners!"
"THEN WHY AREN'T YOU WEARING THEM?!"
Ponchi used his imaginary finger to dig through his ear.
"Kid, I don't need parachute pants to protect me. Years of Windmills and Halos have given me the endurance to put up with chafing and burns," He hesitated. "Just think, soon enough you'll be good enough to wear tracksuits."
"Can't I have my jumpsuit back?"
"No bitching."
"…I can't feel my legs."
--
After minutes of getting his legs back in place and adjusting his orange parachute pants, Ponchi had led Naruto to the basement of Jan and his apartment.
"Whoa!"
Naruto looked around; amazed at the scene before him. There was civilian technology in ever corner. Dozens of huge boxes playing music, large racks filled with…CDs? Is that what they called it?
He stopped to look at the cut out cardboard box, flat on the cement floor.
"This is where most of your lessons will take place, got it?" Ponchi waited as he received a nod. "Good. First you must master the total concept of dancing."
Ponchi used his feet to push one of the buttons on one of the larger boom boxes. Suddenly, all the music ceased. He pushed another button.
A song started to play.
Don't make fun of it! Don't destroy it! Don't cheapen it!
That one thing everyone has that they won't give up.
Only love! Only dreams! Only you!
Those are the things I won't ever let go, ever.
The music stopped.
"What did you feel when you heard that?"
"Whadda you mean?" Naruto asked causing Ponchi to snort. "Hey!"
"Whadda ya mean 'whadda ya mean'?" Ponchi mocked. "What you felt! It ain't that hard of a question!"
"I-I felt…" Naruto close his eyes in frustration. "Could you play it again?"
Ponchi drew a long breath and pressed play.
On nights when I can't settle down no matter what,
I just want to throw anything and everything away.
Don't bitch and complain, just open the door, ya know.
I don't have time to quibble with you.
Naruto closed his eyes.
"Soooo?"
"I feel like...like the time I threw a huge prank on the entire village," Naruto gave a cruel smirk. "Heh, heh…they spent in entire week trying to fix those sewers."
"Did you feel anything else? Didja wanna throw your arms in the air and trash your house? Didja wanna run outside to cause a muck?" Naruto nodded enthusiastically.
"Yeah! Yeah!"
"I see…" A sly grin grew on the older man's face. "Now where getting somewhere!"
--
"-araway galaxy we promised each other! PEGASASU FANTAJII!! Yes, only dreams are the wings of the heart no one can steal!!" Ponchi 'sang' as Naruto joined him.
It had been like this for past hour; singing and dancing crazily to songs familiar songs. Naruto had remembered this song from a terribly old cartoon that was shown years ago and luckily enough; was showing freely in front of a television store…
"-SAINT SEIYA!! …The great men of tomorrow! OH YEAH!! SAINT SEIYA!! Like the Pegasus… SAINT SEIYA!! …Flap your wings nowwww!!"
They stopped singing as the rest of the guitars and drums slowly ceased. Jan shook his head at the two…idiots…
"I wish I had a girl like Shaina…" Naruto said wistfully as he fell upon the floor.
"Man…don't we all?" Ponchi sat right next to him as he pressed the STOP button with his toe. "But, you do understand what we were doing that entire time, right?"
Naruto shook his head, he had no idea what or why they were singing and prancing around the room.
"That was...an introduction of what were gonna do later…" Ponchi placed his nonexistent hand on his head. "What we did...we…-Fuck it! Dancing is music body flowing through your body, your body's interpretation to music, rhythm, beats and so on!"
"What?"
Jan spoke up instead.
"Music was making its way through your body. Your voice singing and your body moving; all the music's doing."
"What?"
"Gah…I have no idea what I'm saying anymore! Shit…" Ponchi shook his head wildly. "Dammit! Just do another split! Make it last… 20 minutes."
"WHAT?! NO WAY IN HELL, CRIPPLE!!"
"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME YOU LITTLE SHIT STAIN?!"
--
"Ouch…Do I have to wear these when I get out?" Naruto rubbed his sore legs hidden under the orange nylon pants. "I'd rather not be seen with these at all."
"Bitch! Didn't I tell you earlier? 'You always look your best when you train with us'?"
"I look better without these pants."
"Only to other people. Dancers alike love to see people wear stuff like this…"
"Not many people in the village are dancers, cripple," Naruto said with a deadpan expression.
"True, true. But dancers alike also hate to see posers. Those who can't dance and dress like they could," Ponchi would've cracked his fingers menacingly if he had any… But Jan was doing a good job otherwise.
"Posers get jumped," Jan said with a flat tone.
Naruto gulped, ignoring what ever 'jumped' meant or how people would get pissed at something so stupid.
Those cracking fingers were so frightening.
Jan threw Naruto his orange jumpsuit.
"Make sure you come back with those parachute pants, kid! They cost money!"
"Whatever," With a wave, Naruto jumped out the door onto a nearby tree.
…
"Why are we helping that kid again?" Jan asked to his companion. Ponchi threw the tree a weak glare as he turned.
"Ehh…it's not like we have anything else to do," Jan nodded in agreement. "Plus, who wouldn't like to see a break dancing ninja in the finals of the Chunin Exam?"
Jan nodded again.
--
Nothing is happening…in mah fic… It's utterly boring.