Chapter 2: Struggling to breathe

I couldn't breathe now. I rested my hand against the wall to steady myself, and forced myself to try and take deep breaths. What else would Edward have seen in my underwear drawer!? Just imagining Edward's hands on my most intimate articles of clothing was causing me to hyperventilate. I shuddered to think of what I would be like if his hands were on me, instead of the pieces of fabric designed to cover me. Another chill ran down my spine.

I closed my eyes, and fought to bring my racing pulse under control. If it had been any other guy, I would have been furious at this invasion of privacy. Most guys who hadn't been to second base with their girlfriend might have balked at even opening that drawer. But Edward wasn't some teenage pervert trying to sneak a peak at my intimate apparel like Mike Newton might. He was just coming to my rescue again, as usual. He probably paid no more attention to my underwear than he did to gathering the rest of my clothes. That thought caused me to wince slightly. Did that really bother me? Hmm....it might, I had to admit to myself.

I'd never considered myself beautiful or sexy. But Edward did. Well beautiful at any rate. He'd never actually come out and actually said I was sexy. But that didn't really matter. He was changed into a vampire in 1918, at the age of 17, and back then calling your girlfriend "sexy" would probably earn a boyfriend a nice smack in the face. Edward was always so prim and proper around me, and was always the utmost gentleman in every respect. It was a refreshing change from the hormone crazed boys at Forks High School, but sometimes I yearned for him to be just a little bit less gentlemanly.

My self esteem issues were rearing their ugly head now again it seemed. I knew I didn't deserve Edward. There were so many other more interesting, beautiful, smarter, more graceful, and sexier girls than me in this world. As soon as Edward realized that, he would run and never come back. He'd find someone as perfect as he was, and live his life happily ever after. My heart almost stuck in my throat at the thought.

I shook my head to clear it, and focused on the present. I had to get back to my room. Edward would have heard the water for the shower turn off, and if I lingered too long, he might realize something was wrong. Now completely dry I took the silky blue bikini panties, and hooked my thumbs under the sides, and started to pull them up my legs. I thought again about Edward's hands on the silky fabric. I blushed deeper at the thought of rather than me putting them on, what I really wanted was Edward taking them off. My heart did a slight stutter at the thought, and I let out a slow breath. I grabbed the bra, and put it over my breasts, and reached around to do the clasp. I put my green stretch cotton top on, and then slid my legs into the jeans, and pulled them up. I wiped some condensation from the full length mirror in the bathroom, and studied my face. Everything looked okay. My damp hair fell down over my shoulders, and my skin had only a slight flush of embarassment to it. I focused on my breathing now....nice and slow.

I gathered my pyjamas, and left the bathroom. As I entered the bedroom, Edward was inthe same position as I'd left him twenty five minutes ago. If I hadn't known that he had gathered my clothes, and placed them in the bathroom, I would never had been able to guess he had moved. When Edward stayed still, he was like a statue. A smile curled on his lips, as I glanced at him while tossing my pyjamas into the clothes hamper. I was back...someone had pushed PLAY again, I thought to myself. Now was the time...

"Umm...thanks for the umm....clothes..." I said nervously. I grimaced as my voice broke a bit on the word clothes.

Edward raised an eyebrow at me. I could hear my breath come quicker, and my pulse beginning to quicken. His vampire senses would surely register these facts as well.

"You're quite welcome, my love" he replied as he sat up and moved toward me. He took my hands in his as he reached me, and looked quizzically into my eyes. "Is something wrong, Bella?" he then asked in a concerned voice.

"Umm nope...nothing is wrong..." I lied. He wasn't buying it, but merely continued to look at me, studying my face as my blush intensified.

What was wrong with me? What did I want to happen here? Was I embarassed about Edward being in my underwear drawer? Was I annoyed that he actually had been -and being the perfect gentleman he'd not even had one impure thought about me? Wasn't I sexy to him? Yes I knew he loved me, and he thought I was beautiful, but I wanted to be sexy to him also. Did he even think about me like that at all? All these thoughts ran around in my head, as he continued to study my face. His eyes alternated between my own chocolate brown eyes, and my rose coloured cheeks. I had to find out the answer to these questions. But what would be worse? Not knowing if he found me sexy, or finding out that he didn't. Of course there was the odd chance that he did find me sexy, but getting him to admit it might be a problem given his 1901 upbringing.

I unwound my hands from his fingers and moved away from him and sat down on the edge of the bed. I was facing away from him now, not wanting to look into his eyes as I asked the question to which I knew I had to find out the answer .

Edward hadn't moved at all. He stood frozen at the sudden change in my demeanour in only twenty five minutes. When I'd left to shower I was all happy and snuggly, and when I returned he knew somethign was wrong, something was different, and he didn't know what it was, or why it had happened. I knew his powerful vampire brain was right now manipulating huge amounts of data trying to solve this riddle about my suddenly unexpected change of mood.

I took a deep breath. It was now or never...

"Edward..." I began. "...I was wondering...."

"Yes Bella?" he replied in a relieved tone. He could sense that the mystery of my change in behaviour was about to be explained.

"When you chose the clothes for me to wear..." I began. He waited for me to finish.

"What made you choose the aqua bra and matching underwear set?" The last part was said in little more than a whisper. No human would have heard my muted words, but Edward's did. I was still facing away from him, wondering what his face looked like now. My heart began to race once more as I waited for him to respond.

Edward didn't say anything immediately. After a few tense seconds he answered my question with his own.

"Did you wish I'd chosen something else?" he asked finally. I knew then he had no idea what I was really asking, or why I was having all these doubts about myself now.

"No." I answered meekly. "I just wondered why you chose these particular ones..." I continued as if that would somehow explain my shaken confidence. I let out a sigh. I knew Edward was struggling to grasp what the problem was, and how best to solve it. I frowned, and was happy he could not see it. I waited for Edward to respond.

"Well, I chose them because..." he began. I shuddered internally now. What would his reasoning be? They were the only pair of matching bra and panties I owned? They looked the least worn? I winced slightly as I waited for the death knell on my sexiness to sound.

"...because...I thought they would look nice on you." he finally finished.

My head turned around sharply, my eyes open incredulously. I had not been expecting that. My rose coloured blush more deeply covered my cheeks now. My cheeks felt like they were on fire now.

"You thought they would look nice on me." I repeated, my demeanour brightening a bit. Well, it wasn't the worst thing he could have answered me with.

A flash of insight entered my mind now. I decided to press my luck a bit. I got off the bed, and moved a step closer to him.

"So...Edward...did you think about what I would look like wearing them as you picked them out?" I asked him, my cheeks burning still.

Edward's eyes narrowed slightly. I knew he was thinking about what to say, and how to diffuse this minefield he had inadvertently set for himself. If he said no, my confidence would be crushed. If he said yes, well...then things just got a whole lot more interesting in Forks...

A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed chapter 1. I know this story is starting out a bit slow...but I kind of want it that way. I don't want to just jump right into the meat and potatoes without trying a few appetizers first. Heh.