CITIZEN EVIL
Credit to lawrence96 for the inspiration
EPISODE 2: TAKE-AWAY
Some greasy fast-food joint in the city...
"Hello sir! May I help you?" Asked the server to his customer.
"STARS STARS... STARS, STARS STARS!" Replied Nemesis.
"Would like to super-size that?"
"STARS"
"Would you like cheese with that?"
"STARS"
"Will you be having it here, or is this a take-away"
"STARS"
Meanwhile, next to Nemesis, William Birkin was having trouble with his orders.
"It really is an incredibly simple order. Even someone with a cranium of lesser mass than you own would be able to comprehend it" He argued.
"Sir, we do not sell "Roasted Licker Meat" and there is perhaps no such thing beyond the realm of fantasy!"
"Don't you see! We can make the fantasy real! All you require is a BOW 52, make sure it is deceased by humanitarian means, and roast it on a heated platform of sorts!"
"Sir! please don't make have to eject you from the premesis"
"This is an outrage! I... I..." William started to see the futility of ordering a secret experiment medium-rare.
"Very well, do you have Hunter Alpha Brains?"
"No sir"
"Hunter Gamma Brains?"
"No sir"
"Tyrant Heart?"
"No sir"
"Nemesis Tounge?"
"STARS!"
"No sir"
"Albinoid Carcass?"
"Sold out sir"
"Bandersnatch Arm?
"No sir"
Meanwhile, the invincible team of Chris, Jill, Leon and Claire were enjoying a conversation whilst waiting for their meal.
"So... Whose going to be in Resident Evil 6 then?" Leon asked.
"I doubt any of us will" said Chris.
"Why not? surely me and Claire have a good chance! we havn't been seen since Degeneration!"
"Yeah, but you're both appearing in Darkside Chronicles soon" Chris retorted.
"Bro's got a point, Leon" said Claire.
"Well anyway, who do you think is going to be in 6?" Leon asked again.
"I think that Barry deserves to make an appearance again" replied Jill.
"And Rebecca" said Chris, with a faraway look in his eye.
Jill elbow-jabbed him in the ribs.
"Ow! and Billy should, possibly Carlos, definitly HUNK, and without a doubt Wesker"
The whole table looked at him.
"Wesker died in 5! You killed him, remember!" Leon cried.
"Yeah, but that didn't stop him before" Chris replied somberly.
Meanwhile...
"Centurion Legs?"
"No sir"
"Chimera Carcass?"
"No sir"
"Here's you meals!" shouted a waitress.
"Who ordered the cheeseburger with extra beef?"
"Here" said Chris.
"Ceasar salad with acorns?"
"Mine" said Leon.
"Bucket of chicken legs?"
"Hello!" said Claire.
"Nemesis testicles?"
No one said anything.
"STARS!" Nemesis cried, and grabbed his obscure euphamisms, and returned to his place.
"Watercress sandwhich?"
Everyone looked at Jill.
"What? I like watercress"
Chris put his hand or Jill's shoulder, and nodded to the other two.
"Jill..."
"Yes..." She said, suspiciously.
"THAT WAS ALMOST A JILL SANDWHICH!" They all screamed.
"Jill Sandwhich?"
"No sir"
"Here's your meal sir!"
"STARS" Nemesis said, and grabbed his bag and ate it whole.
"Have a pleasant day!"
"stars..." Nemesis mumbled.
"Is there something wrong sir?"
"STARS!" Nemesis cried and ran for the bathroom, followed by inhuman noises that would not be forgotten if heard.
"Sir! You forgot your juice!" cried the server.
"Nemesis Testicles?"
"No sir"
"Is there anything here that is made from a secret biological experiment gone awry"
"Well... we have Crimson Head Head?"
"No... that'sjust disturbing. I do not enjoy the vision of consuming a T-Virus infected individual experincing V-ACT"
"We also have El Gigante Parasite?"
"Hmm, interseting... I'll take it!"
The server pulled out a mass of red and yellow substance, and put it on a tray, he also reached for a small cardboard box.
"And here's your Happy Meal sir!"
"Thank you" replied William, who took the tray and box, and sat down with his wife and child. He handed the oversized parasite to Sherry.
"Sorry, darling, they didn't have any RLM" William said, and opened his happy meal and shared the fries with Annette.
Albert Wesker walked through the doors, and took one look around.
"Oh great... here we go again... Alright, I accept my fate" He mumbled, and walked upto the counter.
"How can I help ya, Stranger?"
"Large fries and Strawberry milkshake" Wesker replied.
"Not enough cash, Stranger!"
"You have to be joking..."
Meanwhile, somewhere in China, hordes of ultra-fast, super-strong monsters were closing in on Barry, Rebecca and Billy.
"I could be eating a Seafood Platter right now, but nooooooo, I had to help Barry make a comeback" Billy said sarcastically.
"shutupshutupshutupshutup" Barry cried.
Keep the requests comin' people. I hope you're enjoying this as much as me.
I don't own Resident Evil.