Chapter 7: More Than Words.

The drive home was comfortable. I was happy with the purchases, and was sure Edward would be too. Well except for the "Emergency Use Only" one as Alice had called it. I shook my head at her comic description for when to wear that lingerie. I looked over at Alice, and put my hand in hers. She shot me a quick glance, and then cocked her head to the side slightly. She was surprised at my outward display of affection but I felt her marble fingers squeeze my own fragile hand lightly in reply.

"Thank you Alice. For everything..." I said sincerely. I felt so grateful for her taking the time to go shopping with me, and helping me pick out all the purchases, and then on top of that pay for it all. She really was so caring and generous with me.

Alice just continued to look at me, her face achingly beautiful. Her eyes searched my face, and she smiled at me softly. "Bella...Edward loves you. I love you. Esme loves you. Everyone loves you. We can't wait for you to be a part of our family. You are the last piece that will make our family complete... There isn't anything that any one of us would not do for you. Do you understand how important you are to me? To Edward? To all of us?" she said, her eyes positively glowing with pride. She really did love me like a sister already. She accepted me for what I was with no strings attached. She really believed that I was the missing piece of the puzzle for Edward, and the rest of the Cullens. She'd seen it. It made her happy. She wanted me to be with Edward as much as I had wanted the exact same thing. My heart raced at the thought.

But although my heart sped up, my mouth wouldn't work – I was spellbound at her revelation. I couldn't think of what to say in reply that could ever do that type of admission justice. I blinked. "Yes..." was all I could squeak out finally. But my fingers squeezed hers even tighter, as the Mercedes sped down the highway.

When we arrived at my house around 3 pm, Charlie was still out fishing. He always fished every weekend. I liked it though. It gave me lots of alone time with Edward. Alice removed the bags from the trunk, and we brought them to my room. I took the tags off the garments, and put the new additions into my underwear drawer. I smiled in satisfaction at how much brighter and colourful that drawer seemed now. It wasn't scandalous, but it was a start.

Alice had to get going. She had plans to go hunting with Jasper. She moved to me, and placed a light kiss on my cheek. "Don't hesitate to call me again if you need to do any more shopping Bella...!" she said enthusiastically. I smiled, and told her I wouldn't hesitate at all, and was surprised that I actually meant it. With a flourish, she dashed down the stairs, her lovely laugh still hanging in the air.

I walked to my underwear drawer once more, and glanced inside. Which pair should I wear? Nothing too outrageous at first. It was better to be safe than sorry. I settled for the pink plain jane cotton set. It was familiar, after all. I grabbed the set, and a change of clothes. I knew Alice would be meeting Jasper at the Cullen house shortly, and Edward would know I would be home. I figured it wouldn't be too much longer after that, until he made his way to my house. I probably had time to get in a quick human moment, and a nice shower to wash away all the smells and unpleasantries associated with walking around a mall all morning and part of the afternoon. I made my way to the bathroom, and ran the water once more. No funny business this time though. I smirked. Just get in, and get out, I chastised myself. Gotcha. I threw my reflection in the mirror a quick salute and even said "Yes ma'am". I was such a dork sometimes.

I washed my hair, and my body with nary an impure thought about Edward or myself. I was being a good girl. I finished up in the shower, and hurriedly dried myself off. I changed into my pink underwear, and some jeans and a t shirt. I gathered the discarded clothes, and went to my room. Wow. My hamper was getting full. I trucked it downstairs to the laundry, and put a load in the washer. By the time I had returned to my room, Edward sat in the chair in the corner.

"Oh!" I said startled.

He chuckled at my surprise. "Hello my love. Did you have fun with Alice today?" he asked me.

"Yes" I admitted, and my cheeks flushed a tad. Edward appeared not to notice, or else he didn't look confused as my skin tone darkened however minutely.

"So what did you buy? I still can't figure out why she was trying to block her thoughts from me earlier..." he said, his voice laced with confusion.

"Well umm...maybe I should just show you..." I began jokingly.

"If you prefer" he answered easily. He had no idea what he had just unknowingly agreed to. I gulped. I was getting flustered already. Come on Bella. Pull it together. You are strong! You can do this! You know what you want, so go and get it! I tried to encourage myself. It wasn't working. I sighed, and a frown turned the corners of my mouth down. Edward was confused once more.

I looked into his eyes. So golden...so beautiful. I began to lose myself in his smoldering amber orbs. I love you Edward. I want you. I need you. I need your hands on me. I want to quiver under your touch. I want to explore every inch of your body as you do the same to me. My cheeks were definitely hot now.

Don't think Bella. Just do it. I was practically screaming to myself in my mind. Do it! Let him know. I couldn't give a voice to my thoughts. I couldn't speak. I stood there frozen. I was afraid. What if I told him what I wanted, and he rejected me? How could I ever look into his eyes again? Edward didn't move. He could sense my heart taking off, and my breath coming faster now. He could see me fighting, struggling about something. He got a worried look in his eyes. It was now, or never. Could I expose my desires and wants to him? I made up my mind, and smiled a weak smile. Yes. Yes I could.

I took a deep breath, and I reached down, my hands reaching the bottom of my t shirt. I pulled it up over my head in a flash. My hair was everywhere, and it covered my face momentarily. I could feel the cool air on my exposed chest, and I heard Edward's sharp intake of breath and his complete shock and surprise at my unexpected action. I shook my chestnut hair out of my eyes, and looked at Edward. He stood frozen, eyes wide. I couldn't stop now. I undid my jeans, and let them fall to the floor. I stepped out of them slowly, all the while my gaze remained locked with Edward's.

My skin felt literally on fire now. I wasn't naked, but I was exposed, and I did feel extremely vulnerable. All that covered me was the light pink bra and panties. I waited for Edward's reaction. He never spoke, never moved. His unblinking eyes focused on my soft skin, and he eyed me up and down. He couldn't look away. I knew he must be fighting with himself too. His prim and proper morals could never allow him to look at my exposed flesh like this without feeling like an unworthy monster. The silence became unbearable after a minute.

"Edward?" I asked meekly. "Are you okay?"

I began to doubt my plan when he didn't respond. Was he losing his control? Was the sight of me , and the scent of me too much for his vampire self control to bear? Huh. Hadn't thought of that. Maybe this wasn't my best idea. But wait! No! Edward would never hurt me. Never. I knew that. Still though, I had to ask.

"Are you okay Edward? Are you in control? Do you want me to leave?" I asked him seriously, my gaze finding the floor. "I'm sorry..." I added. I was embarassed now.

Finally Edward spoke. "I am in control Bella." he whispered softly, but his voice sounded different.

My head snapped up at the sound of his voice. His face looked pained though. He was fighting with himself. He locked his eyes with mine. He nodded, and I saw him smile at me knowingly. He moved towards me slowly. There was a deliberateness to his actions, that made me realize that this was not easy for him. He was definitely moving slower than normal. He took me in his arms, and pulled me close to him. I felt his icy coldness against my bra, and my nipples hardened immediately. I felt his hands running up and down my back lightly. The ice cold caresses on my back felt exquisite against my soft skin. I felt a tingle between my legs as I felt Edward's body pressed against so much of my uncovered skin. His mouth moved to my lips, and he kissed me gently. He gazed at me with love in his eyes, but something else. Sadness. His eyes had that sad look about them – the way they looked whenever I brought up the subject of him changing me into a vampire. I looked away from his sad eyes.

"Are you mad at me?" I asked him.

He took my hand in his, guided me to the bed. He sat down beside me, and pulled me close to him, so I could lay my head on his shoulder. I felt his hands begin to run through my hair for a few seconds before he answered me.

"No Bella. I am not mad at you." he replied but I knew there would be a but coming.

"But...we do need to talk." he qualified.

A/N: Coming up tomorrow (hopefully) – Chapter 8: The talk. Oh, and I guess I didn't take a break from writing this story after all. Ooops. LoL