Chapter 13: Bella Surrenders

"Edward..." I whispered as my hand reached for him, but it was too late. He'd already gone. I fought the nausea I could feel in the pit of my stomach. My body was trembling. My vision got hazy as I felt the tears forming now. I tried to keep them back, but it was useless. A tear trailed down my cheek. Edward had seen me. I didn't know how long he'd been here, but even if it was just for the last minute it would have been enough. My heart sunk as I remembered his eyes on me.

Edward hadn't even looked at my nakedness. He simply stared at my face. Those piercing eyes seemed to reach right into my soul. What had he seen there? A lump rose into my throat. I tried to unravel the mystery of Edward's haunting eyes. He'd hunted today, I knew. His eyes should have been liquid amber...not onyx. The last time I'd seen him with those eyes was...the first day I'd met him. The tears were falling freely now as I remembered the way he'd looked at me then, to how he'd looked tonight. It was the same.

When I'd first arrived in Forks, Edward had an unusual reaction to me. I didn't realize it at the time of course, but my blood seemed to sing out to him. It sorely tested his decades of perfect control around humans. I had no idea how close I had been to death that first day in Biology. It was the reason Edward had left for a week after we'd met. My body shuddered once more. Edward had left then too, and he had left my house tonight with eyes that looked identical.

Later, I learned that Edward had initially hated me. It wasn't that I had done anything, it was just the way my scent and my blood seemingly screamed at him to devour me. He'd resented the fact that I was so tempting to him, and nearly caused him to give in to the monster that was inside him - the monster that he tried so hard to control with his almost perfect restraint.

I collapsed on my bed as I remembered all these things, and parallelled them to Edward's behaviour tonight. Did Edward hate me now? Did he leave because he was disgusted at my lewd behaviour? Was it because I so tempted him like that day so long ago? Was he about to lose control? Was the scent of my blood and arousal too much for him? Not knowing was driving me crazy.

I had to find out. I threw on my bath robe, and went to my backpack. I stood near my desk and dialed the familiar number, and it didn't even ring once. At her voice, I sobbed into the phone.

"Bella? What's wrong? Where is Edward...?" Alice asked quickly, a hint of worry in her voice as she heard my sobs.

"He....saw me...practicing. His eyes.... He said he had to leave..." I said through the sobs. The tears streamed down my face, as I remembered the blank expression on Edward's face, and the low growl in which he had spoken to me. I was sure he hated me. I didn't deserve him. I didn't before, and certainly not now...after tonight's behaviour.

Alice was quiet. She was searching the future for a vision. I was sure of it.

"You're right. He left..." she said sadly.

What? Of course he did. I had told her that already. He said he had to leave, and he had left out the window. What an odd thing for Alice to say. My mind realized that something was not right with this conversation. My brain slowly worked to unravel the puzzle of this conversation. Several seconds passed in silence. Realization hit me then. No. No! Noooooo! Edward!

"Bella? Are you okay?" Alice asked me, her musical voice tainted with worry.

I didn't reply to her. My mind rejected the idea immediately, but it still clung to the fringes of my psyche. This couldn't be happening. Not again. He promised he would never leave me again. He promised! Edward and I would be together forever. He couldn't leave me. Edward! Don't you dare leave me! My vision began to fade. My knees buckled.

"Bella? Bella!!" I heard Alice shriek into the phone. I didn't answer. I dropped the phone, as I sunk to my knees. Breathing was too much of an effort. My heart struggled with the realization that Edward, my Angel, was leaving again. It was all my fault. I'd brought him to this. I was so selfish. He'd told me it was too dangerous, but I'd ignored him. Now that I'd succeeded in showing how I was unworthy of him, he'd never come back.

"Bella! I am coming over RIGHT NOW!" I heard Alice yelling into the phone. "Stay with me Bella...!" her voice was frantic. I was vaguely aware of a mechanical growling emanating from the phone beside me. Alice must be in the Mercedes now, racing to my house, pushing the powerful engine to the limits of safety. She sounded almost hysterical with worry. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore.

The blackness reached for me then. I didn't fight back. Dark embrace, take away my pain. Edward had once told me that there was no point in him living in a world where I didn't exist. I smiled. I knew exactly what he meant.

"I'm sorry Edward" I said softly as my heartbeat faltered. Once was enough. Twice...I couldn't bear it. Not again. I wasn't strong enough. The blackness reached for me one last time. I didn't resist. I surrendered to the darkness...

A/N: This is just a short chapter to set up the next one. You'll find out what exactly what is going on, and Edward's side of things in the next chapter or two. Hang in there! ;)