Sorry sorry sorry, you guys! I've been really busy with play rehearsal, but here's the next chapter, and it's getting angsty! Yay angst! I'm really suprised I have so many views! Why am I ending every sentence with an exclamation point?! Okay, I'll stop.

Enjoy.

Oxygen

The door to the Hitachiin manor slammed and echoed throughout the eerily silent house. The twin maids greeted Hikaru like they always did, though today they looked uncharacteristically concerned. Hikaru didn't even bother to kick off his dripping shoes as he pushed past the maids and up the stairs. Worried calls of, "Where were you, Master Hikaru?" and "Is your brother upset, Master Hikaru?" chased him up the stairs, but he ignored them. The run home had been a blur; a rainy and painful blur. It didn't register in Hikaru's mind what exactly he was about to do until he reached the top of the stairs. His feet froze where he stood. He was about to spill everything he was feeling right now to his brother. He was about to risk giving up Haruhi in order to make his brother happy.

Am I ready to do this?

He brushed the thought away and continued to run down the hall to the room they shared. To his surprise, when he reached the room he found the door open, the sheets intact, and Kaoru absent. The emptiness punched him in the stomach and he could no longer breathe, and though it was filled with fresh, after-storm light, the room was dark to him.

In the doorway, he turned on his heels to face the door across the hall. It was closed like it usually was; Kaoru hadn't really gone in there since they first got separate rooms. He had tried to sleep without Hikaru for a few nights, but always ended up crawling back into bed with him. They weren't really ready to separate, yet. If Kaoru was in there now, it would mean that they had finally, truly grown apart. Hikaru's esophagus grew tighter, like the very thought was choking him.

Just breathe, he thought. Breathe in. Deep breath. Let it out. I can do this.

Slowly, carefully, he opened the door. A colourful porcelain elephant sat blank-faced and unaware on the table beside the empty bed. Hikaru almost left the room in cowardice, until he saw him. There, on the window sill, he saw the back of an acorn-coloured head. A mixture of relief and terror washed over Hikaru, causing him to forget his efforts to remain silent. The door creaked. Kaoru perked up and whipped his head around to face his brother.

The moment that followed was too long, yet nowhere near long enough, for when Hikaru's eyes met Kaoru's, it was as if he were a drowning man rediscovering oxygen. But, the sadness and fear in Kaoru's eyes was too much to bear, and he quickly looked away. Kaoru buried his face in the pillow he held clutched to his chest. Hikaru hid the pain this brought him by turning his face away. His fingers squeezed around the sopping wet tennis ball he didn't know he still had. He straightened his body and breathed deeply again. Slowly, he approached his brother and placed the soaked ball on the pillow beside his head.

"You left something behind," he said, forcing a small, playful smile. "It must have missed you."

Kaoru unburied his head from the pillow he clutched in his lap, but avoided Hikaru's gaze. He couldn't face him. He couldn't face himself. Instead he stared blankly out the window and clenched his fists around the pillowcase. "Why are you…" he began. "What do you want?"

The sound of Kaoru's voice, though it was tarnished with gloom, made Hikaru fill complete. Oxygen. That's what Kaoru was to him. Hikaru hadn't realize how much he needed him until he was gone. The puzzle pieces were back together again, and though the pieces were mangled and ripped, they still fit.

"I want…I want to know what's wrong with you."

"Trust me," Kaoru replied, "you don't."

"What is that supposed to mean?" He started to yell, but willed himself to calm down. He was replacing sadness with anger again, like he usually did. "Of course I want to know," he sighed. "You have a really bad habit of keeping your thoughts to yourself. I share your face…" he sat beside his brother on the window sill. "I guess I just can't share your thoughts." Hikaru's hand rested atop Kauru's usually identical once, but today the tenseness of Kaoru's fist through off the similarity. As soon as Hikaru's fingers touched his skin, Kaoru jerked away and slid to the other side of the sill, seemingly horrified.

"Please," he said, still avoiding Hikaru's eyes. "I'm sorry, but please, just don't touch me. You're just…"

Hikaru's anger got the better of him again. "I'm just what, Kaoru? I'm trying to help!"

"Well, I don't want your help!" Kaoru shouted at his reflection in the window.

"Well, then what, Kaoru? What do you want me to do?" His tone was bitter. "I'll do whatever you want, just stop being so freaking confusing!"

"Fine!" Kaoru screamed and turned to face his brother. "I want you to…I want you to leave me alone!"

Hikaru's eyes widened and he stepped backward. "What are you talking about?!" He was full-out screaming now. "I have been leaving you alone! You've been forcing me to leave you alone! I want to know why!"

Kaoru was finally brought to his feet. "I can't!" The volume of his voice dropped significantly, until he was practically at a whisper. "I can't tell you."