Chapter 23: So Much in Love
My first sensation was of feeling vaguely tired. I struggled to push the heaviness from my body. It was working. I wrinkled my nose now, and my arms began to move. I felt cool. I realized now that I was waking up, and that Edward was holding me, as usual. That thought put a smile on my face instantly. It wasn't a huge smile...I was still too much half asleep for that. But the corners of my mouth rolled up, and I let out a contented sigh as my arms wrapped ever so slightly tighter around Edward. I felt his finger on my cheek then softly. My smile grew slightly larger, at his touch. It wouldn't be long now until I finally opened my reluctant eyes to the light. I heard Edward's slow and steady breathing now. With each wondrous exhale, more of his delicious scent hung in the air. My eyelids fluttered slightly, and finally opened. I peered through the slight haze that clung to my eyes, and saw Edward looking at me with sheer fascination in his eyes. I stifled a yawn.
"What are you looking at?" I said softly.
"You." he answered without missing a beat.
"Boring...." I said teasingly.
Edward shook his head slowly. "On the contrary Bella, you are anything but boring..." he said and then kissed my forehead lightly. I sighed again as I felt his cool lips on my skin. As he moved back to his original position, my brown eyes stared at him exuding only love. Edward cocked his head slightly under my gaze. I saw his perfect lips move and milliseconds later his soft musical voice was in my ears.
"What are you looking at?" he said teasingly.
"You." I answered, playing along – a grin forming on my face.
"Boring..." he replied, his mouth forming into a wonderful smile now.
We both laughed then. I then felt Edward's hand on mine, and he stroked my soft flesh so gently. I was still looking at him as his hand worked over mine slowly. I was gazing into his amazing amber eyes. The way they glinted when he looked at me made my heartbeat increase ever so slightly. Edward sensed my pulse rate increasing, and his eyes narrowed slightly, wondering what was causing the minute change in my body. I answered him with a whisper.
"I'm so in love with you Edward..." I said, barely audible.
Edward smiled radiantly now. I felt my breath falter slightly as the full force of his beautiful smile hit me. He wasn't trying to dazzle me on purpose, it was just my reaction to seeing his smile, and knowing that I was the cause of so much happiness in Edward.
"I'm so very in love with you too, Bella." I heard Edward's sweet voice answer in reply to my own confession. He tilted his head slightly, and I saw his eyes change slightly to more golden as I watched. There was more he wanted to say. I waited for him to continue.
"You don't know just how very long I've waited for you." he began. I felt my heart skip slightly at his words. "So very long..." he finished, with happiness and love in his eyes.
I ran my fingers along Edward's icy cheek now, and across his lips. He seemed to shiver under my warming touch. His eyes closed slightly as I made my way across his lips, and up his other cheek.
"Was I worth the wait?" I asked coyly, my eyes shining now.
Edward nodded, and then voiced his thoughts. "Every second Bella." he said sincerely. "I'd have waited 10,000 years if only to spend one second with you." My eyelids fluttered as he spoke. Oh Edward...I love how you speak. I love how much you love me. I love knowing that you love me as much as I love you. I can't imagine living one day without you. What did I ever do to deserve you in my life? My mind was working overtime now, thinking of how much we loved each other, and how happy he made me.
I curled up into Edward's chest now, and rested my head on his shoulder. The cool and hard skin felt so smooth under me. I felt Edward's fingers running through my hair then. I let out another sigh.
"I don't want to spend one day apart from you Edward..." I admitted.
"Nor I from you..." he replied – fingers twirling through my dark brown hair.
"I'll always love you Edward. I promise. I'll love you forever." I whispered.
I felt Edward's fingers stop suddenly at the mention of forever, and then without barely a hitch, began to play with my silky strands once more. I knew why he stopped, however briefly. Edward was thinking of me being a vampire. It always saddened him to think of me like him. I bit my lip at his reaction. It was the one thing I wanted more than anything. My lip trembled lightly, and I spoke. I wasn't speaking to Edward now, I was just giving voice to the thought in my head.
"One lifetime is simply not enough..." I said barely above a whisper, my head moving back and forth slowly.
Edward stiffened now, and his hands stopped winding their way through my silky dark hair. I looked up into his eyes. The fierce gold was now much paler. The sadness was back in his eyes. He studied me carefully.
"You don't know what you ask Bella." he said, his eyes seemingly far away now. He was imagining me as a vampire, I realized. Was it so sad for him to think of me like him? Didn't he want to spend forever with me? I knew that wasn't the case.
"I want to be with you. Always." I said meekly. I looked at Edward now. He was looking at the ceiling now, unable to meet my gaze.
"Edward. Look at me..." I pleaded softly. He turned his head to lock his eyes with mine.
"I want to be with you. Always." I repeated.
A sad smile broke across his lips. He nodded slightly. "I know Bella..." He whispered softly.
"Is forever with me such a sad thought for you?" I whispered, slightly hurt at his reaction to my undying pledge of love.
Edward's eyes blazed gold now. The change was instantaneous. "Of course not!" he said more loudly. "You don't know...how immeasurably easier it would be for me." he explained. "But to be like me...to become a monster... To lose your soul..." he began, but I cut him off.
"Edward...you are not a monster. You - are an Angel" I stated matter-of-factly. Edward scoffed lightly.
"You're my Angel..." I corrected myself, softer now, hoping to appease Edward, and ran my fingers across his cheek. He leaned closer now, tilting his head as I ran my fingers lightly over the smooth cold skin. Edward looked at me now, his eyes narrowing. He was considering something. Seconds passed.
I saw his hand reach for me, and his fingers found my lips. He brushed the tips over my moist lips, and then up my cheek. I sighed under his caress.
"You're my Angel Bella." he whispered so sincerely, an edge of heartbreak in his voice now. "You've already saved me." he continued. Edward didn't say it, but I knew he was referring to that night when he'd lost his battle with his inner demon. He said that he'd seen me in his mind, looking every bit an Angel whispering my love for him. It was that image that had shaken him out of his lustful hunger for me that night. We'd never spoken of it after our talk. It had shaken me to see Edward so broken, and inside I still felt guilty over what had happened. Edward would never forget, and he blamed himself of course. I sighed miserably at the thought.
We stayed silent for a few moments. Neither one of us knew what to say. Sometimes words weren't required. I was thinking about how to break the silence when my body betrayed me. To my embarrassment, my stomach growled loudly. Edward raised his eyebrows, and stared at my tummy. To my surprise, he laughed. He shook his head to and fro, as his musical laugh answered my body's indelicate protest of it's lack of sustenance. Edward's hand found my stomach, and I forgot how to breathe as his hand moved back and forth over my abdomen. I shivered now, under his icy touch. It had nothing to do with the temperature of his skin...
"Another human moment..." I complained softly, but somewhat dejectedly. I made my way to leave the bed, but I felt Edward's hand on my wrist. I looked at him now.
"It's those moments I don't want you to lose Bella..." Edward said lightly. His fingers found my chin and he guided my gaze to his. "Good or bad, the human moments are what I want you to experience. I don't want you to miss a single one..." he explained.
"I don't want you to give up what you are, just to be with me. You are human..." he finally finished. His eyes searched mine, pleading with me to see the sense in what he was saying.
"You were human too." I said in my defense.
"Yes. But I never had a choice." he qualified.
"Neither do I..." I responded, locking my eyes with his. Edward's eyes narrowed perceptibly but he didn't say anything.
"Whether I want to or not, it's already too late for me." I whispered. It was true, in my mind. I would give up anything to be with Edward. I just couldn't bear to be apart from him. And Alice had seen it already. Edward frowned deeply at my comment, and looked away from me. I moved my delicate fingers to his face, and tried to guide his gaze to my face. He initially resisted, unable to look into my eyes.
"Edward...please...look at me?" I pleaded, my voice merely a whisper. Edward obliged after only a seconds pause.
"It's not going to happen right now Edward. Not today, not tomorrow, probably not next month either. But we both know it is going to happen." I whispered. His eyes were so sad now. He knew it was true, he'd seen it through Alice's mind also.
"I know Bella." he finally admitted, his head shaking softly.
I smiled at him now. He cocked his head, confused.
"We really will have forever won't we?" I asked – my voice trembled a bit in awe at the thought.
"Yes" Edward said, resigned now.
"It's still not enough..." I said, with devilish glint in my eyes, and a faint smile on my lips.
Edward smirked, and then I saw his lips curl into a small smile of his own. "You are a greedy little thing, aren't you?" he said teasingly. His fingers brushed along my neck now, and I tilted my head towards him, inviting him to my cheek. I was glad that the mood had lightened somewhat now.
"Yes" I admitted. "Greedy for you...." I continued, my arms wrapped around his neck now, and my lips found his. I hadn't actually had my human moment yet - distracted by the talk, and I realized I must still have morning breath. What I wanted to be a passionate kiss, turned out to be a little peck on Edward's smooth lips – unsure as I was about my oral hygiene at that moment. I grimaced internally now. Why couldn't I have just had my human moment to freshen up, and then have my stomach growl, I wondered to myself. I was disappointed.
I felt Edward's return kiss on my lips, and it was equally as soft as mine. I felt him pull me closer, and his kiss intensified. I could feel the pressure against my lips, and his mouth opened slightly. I broke the kiss then, and searched his face.
"Edward...I need a human moment first..." I reminded him.
Edward wasn't having any of it. He pulled me closer to him, and kissed my soft lips once more. I could feel his hands in my hair, and my breath was coming short again. I felt his tongue on my lips, and I sighed – losing myself in his kiss. Several moments passed I think, as Edward kissed and licked my lips. Any thought of morning breath faded from my mind entirely as Edward's earnest mouth met mine again and again. Finally, the kisses softened, and Edward pulled away to look into my face. My eyelids felt heavy, and my breath was ragged. I could feel my heart racing. Oh God...the way he made me feel all the time. Edward smiled at my appearance, and I heard his soft musical voice break the silence.
"You're so beautiful Bella." Edward said, his voice breaking slightly now. "With or without makeup. With or without your human moments. With or without your clothes..." The blush that began in my cheeks deepened slightly as he said the last part. "You're always so beautiful to me." he finished. My eyelids fluttered as I heard the deep love in Edward's voice, and I could see it in his blazing gold eyes now. He touched my forehead now, and I felt like my knees would give out. "So beautiful..." he said once more, barely above a whisper. "My Bella, my Angel...my saviour. I love you so much Bella. I'll always love you..." he said – his eyes focused on me, their golden hue intensely radiating now.
"Oh Edward..." I whispered, a tear staining my soft cheek. I ran into his arms now, and wrapped myself so tightly around him. "I love you, I love you...I love you..." I whispered over and over again as I felt his icy hands wrap me in their loving embrace once more. I didn't want this moment to ever end, but I knew in my heart that even when it did, it wouldn't matter. Edward and I would be together forever! The thought made my heart want to burst with joy. We were now, and would always be – so much in love...
A/N: Okay, so no steamy sexy scene this time. LoL. Just a sweet affirmation of their undying love for each other. I like to write these kinds of chapters. Their love – it's so powerful to me. I just am in awe by the intensity of it. Edward and Bella – literally on opposite ends of the food chain, somehow manage to put all the differences aside, to be together. The lion falling in love with the lamb! It's so true, in this case. They know it won't be easy, but they try to overcome all the obstacles inherent in such an almost unthinkable relationship. And they succeed! Amazing...! :-)