Disclaimer and warnings in Chapter One.
Chapter Two of Six: Commander
The instant he had answered the door and seen her standing in the hallway, he had known why she had come to his quarters. He had contemplated similar scenarios far more often than was appropriate or proper or logical, but contemplate them he did. Contemplated and dreamed and desired…
Desire.
There were many things he desired: The health and contentment of his parents, a posting on the Enterprise, logic, that Starfleet should bring stability to the galaxy, control...the woman reclining beside him in his bed.
For the first time in his life he desired something that was for himself alone – that would benefit no one other than himself.
Logic. Control. Regulations.
In this moment, he did not care about any of it.
All that mattered was her.
He reached his hand out to her face, to feel the contours he had studied during interminable classes and tutorials. He touched her cheek, marveling at how soft her skin was. He skimmed his fingertips along the high arch of her cheekbone and his thumb touched her lips.
She tried to kiss it.
Startled, he pulled back.
She sighed and stilled.
Continue, he thought. Touch her again.
He returned his fingers to the exploration of her face. Again, his thumb strayed too close to her mouth. This time she covered his pale hand with her brown one.
I can remove my hand. I am much stronger than she is.
He did not. Instead, he watched as she pressed her lips to the pad of his thumb, nibbled it, sucked it into the warm wetness of her mouth.
His hand began to shake, but she did not let go of him and he allowed it to happen.
Allowed her to release his thumb and press her lips to each of his trembling fingertips – to stroke his palm with the point of her tongue – to trace the skin from his palm back to the pad of his thumb – to take the digit into her mouth once again and worry at it with teeth and tongue – to once again release the finger, pressing a gentle kiss to the pad.
She smiled at him. Her heart rate was accelerated and her skin was flushed, a shade darker than he had ever seen it, but her smile was calm.
"Well?" she queried, almost as if she was requesting his assessment of an assignment.
I must respond.
"That was…pleasurable."
She laughed and leaned forward, kissing his lips. It seemed as if flames were licking the flesh.
Illogical.
But true, too.
She broke the contact and he did not like it. She leaned back and smiled again. "And that?"
"Also pleasurable."
She made a sound much like a giggle – but he swallowed the sound before it was fully born. Pushing his fingers into the strands of her hair, tightening them around the back of her scalp, he pulled her head towards his mouth.
She is mine.
He allowed himself the luxury of exploring her – of possessing her. Of losing himself in her mouth. Losing himself so completely that, when he was finally able to find the slightest particle of control, it was to find his lean body was covering hers, pressing into her, his hands clutching her skin greedily, his mouth devouring hers.
What have I done? This is not correct. This is not respectful. I have given myself over to my pleasure and forgotten myself.
This is a mistake.
It is illogical.
It is stupid.
He began to move away from her, readying his apology – his request that she leave his quarters and forgive him for his lack of control.
Her arms were still around his neck, tensing and holding tightly to him. Her eyes were enormous and she was panting.
She is in shock. I have hurt her.
"Wow! Do that again!" she demanded.
"Cadet…."
"Call me Nyota," she demanded before flinging her head back towards him, pressing her lips to his once again.
He was frozen even as her lips began moving across his. Her breathing was accelerated by ten percent, her heart beating at ninety-five beats per minute and her scent was comprised of a higher concentration of pheromones than usual.
There was no other conclusion to draw. She was excited. Aroused. She was not afraid. She was not hurt.
He had not frightened her. He had not hurt her.
Her fingers tightened in the hair at the nape of his neck and he concluded that she was trying to move him from his current position. She was trying to pull him back down to her body. He allowed his arms to relax and she wriggled against him in a very provocative manner. She made a sound in his mouth that he believed indicated that she was pleased with his movements.
Control. Control. Control.
Her mouth left his and began to administer nipping kisses along his jaw.
He let his eyes slip closed.
Control. Control. Control.
She tugged his left earlobe into her mouth and swirled patterns over the skin with her tongue; with her very talented tongue.
He shivered.
Control. Control.
She followed the edge of his ear with her tongue up to the tip and there she caressed and stroked.
Control.
His fingers tensed in the bed sheet as waves of pleasure – exhilarating, alien, incredible, terrifying – coursed through him. He was in perfect control but also completely out of control.
Nothing else…there is nothing else…
After several intoxicating moments, she released his ear and whispered into it. "Let me guess. That was pleasurable."
He was covered in a thin sheen of perspiration and his fingers were numb from clutching at the sheets. He moved his head so he could look into her eyes and immediately understood the wisdom of quarter strength lights.
Not for fun, but because he needed to see her.
"I have never…." he paused because he had almost used the word felt. He collected himself and began anew. "I have never experienced anything like that before."
Her fingers were tangling and untangling in his hair and she raised her eyebrows in what he was certain was meant to be a parody of his facial cues and responses. "Let me tell you something, Spock, you haven't experienced anything yet."
She pulled his mouth back to hers.
Contr…