These events have happened in real life. However, the feelings of Grimmjow/aka my friend may not be completely accurate as I have not experienced this myself. I am writing this from the view of a stander-by.

By the way, participating in a LIVESTRONG event in your community is a great way to help those in need, and especially for those with cancer or terminal diseases. You could grant a wish from the Grant A Wish foundation. You could "adopt" a child from Africa and support them for only 30 dollars a month. This is basically a dollar a day, where they get fed, clothed, and have all their other needs attended to. Think of the genocide in Sudan going on right now. Surely you can spare 30 dollars a month to help an African child who is hungry, thirsty, and wondering where they're going to get their next meal. Help the world, you guys! You'll feel good about yourself and you'll be helping somebody too!

I didn't want to admit that I knew I was going to die. I knew it was going to happen. I mean, there was no way out of it. I got worse with every passing day, and no matter how much me and Ulquiorra and the community and the doctors prayed and tried and hoped, God didn't answer our prayers. Or, well, he answered them, but just not in the way we'd hoped he would. I constantly had fevers, I had a lot more episodes, and I was on a lot more drugs than I usually was. My weight dropped like a ten-pound bucket down an empty well. I was dying, and all of us knew it. But nobody said it. Nobody wanted to say it out loud, for fear that it would be absolutely final.

Stark had told me, when Ulquiorra was sleeping, "Listen, Grimmjow, I hate to break this to you, man, but you've got a twenty percent chance of survival. Maybe even less. There's not much hope that you'll get out of this."
"How long will I live? What's your estimate?" I asked him.
"Three more months. But...I'll admit it, you're like no other patient I've ever seen. You're pretty damn fascinating. You just might be able to pull through all of this with very little consequence. Sure, you probably won't be able to do some of the things that men of your age normally do, like go out and play football with the guys. You might not be able to do extreme contact sports, and...well, you'll need to grow your hair back of course, unless you suddenly decide that going bald suits you, but you might not be able to do any of the extreme stuff. Considering all of the things you've been through, I would have expected you to have been dead two months ago. But here you are, and you're still going strong. You've got a tremendous will to live, I'll give you that. You could be the next medical miracle. You know, surviving against all odds. Like the car crash victims who end up with a pole going through their head that doesn't go through any fatal part of the brain and they get out of the hospital a few weeks later perfectly fine except with a scar on their forehead. You know, that's like, a one in a twenty thousand chance. You could be the next medical miracle. Some of those people survive. You could be one of the lucky ones, and with your will, I wouldn't be surprised if you were."

I desperately wanted that medical miracle. I wanted it so badly, that I tasted it every day with my pills. I wanted this for me, for Ulquiorra, for the hospital, for LIVESTRONG, for everybody who had helped me get this far.

I was really clingy during that time. I was desperately scared that Ulquiorra was going to leave me. That he was going to leave me because I was sick, because I had cancer and I was ugly and malnourished and bald and he didn't want me anymore. That he wanted the Grimmjow that was strong, that had abs, that had muscle, that had HAIR, that wasn't sick. I never told him about my thoughts, because I didn't want him to worry any more than he already had been. But somehow, I think he knew. Maybe I was sleeptalking or something. I don't know. But I really did think he was going to leave him and I was afraid. I really did think he was going to leave me because I couldn't really do anything other than prop myself up on my elbow and kiss him from time to time.

I didn't fall out of love with him. I fell more in love with him than I ever had before. I think it takes a lifechanging experience to make you love and appreciate someone even more than you already have. Ulquiorra was brave. He was strong. He was a lot more than what he looked like, and I admired that. He was selfless. He was courageous. He was a lifesaver.

One time he asked me how I was feeling.

"I'm very sad for all that has happened to me."
"Are you depressed?"
"No."
"Why do you say that?"
"Well, isn't depression where you get all sad and cave in because you're so sad and wallowing in self pity?"
"Yes."
"Yeah. I don't want to be like that. I don't want to be some...I don't know, depressed emo sob who cuts himself because the sadness overtakes him. Isn't that what LIVESTRONG is all about? Isn't that what I'M all about? Heck, if I was depressed, Ora-kun, I'd be a disgrace to LIVESTRONG. Yeah, sure, I could be depressed and feel sorry for myself; I could also stay positive and trust that the outcome of this, whatever it may be, will be for the best. I'll choose the second option, because...you know, it's too damn hard to be depressed, right?"

He said I was selfless. But I really wasn't. I really wanted him to stay with me, and those words just came out. Because I had no idea what to say. Because I wanted to say something of pure poetry to him so that he would stay with me. From one poet to another.

"So then why are you sad?"
"I'm sad for you. I'm sad for my family and everybody else that knew me and actually liked me. I mean, yeah, it's hard actually going through the treatment, but at least it's only a physical pain. Everybody else has to feel emotional pain. I think emotional pain is a helluva lot more worse than physical. And I'm sorry I make you sad. I don't mean to."

I remember we made a promise to each other on the day when we officially became a couple. That promise was that we wouldn't say "I love you" to one another unless we actually, truly meant it. We're not like some of those other couples that go around saying I love you every five minutes just to reassure their partner that it's really real. We believe that if you have to say it every five minutes to make it real, then it's not really real.

Anyway, one day I was about to go off to sleep in the ICU because I was seriously tired. You know, druggie here. Meds kill your alertness. I had a fever that day, but, then again, when did I not? I reached out for Ulquiorra's hand, and I remember wondering if he had stuck his hands in the refrigerator. They were really cold, and I was almost tempted to pull mine away. But I didn't.

"Hey, Ora," I murmured.

"Yes?" he asked.
"I wanna tell you something."

"Yes, Grimmjow?" The room had gone totally quiet, and this vaguely reminded me of a dramatic scene in General Hospital. I almost wanted to laugh, but I thought that would ruin the moment.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

Those were the last words I heard from him before I went off to La-La Land, grinning like a maniac.

Before I died, I really liked to watch sunsets. Those beautiful clouds turning a golden color, and then a pale pink, and then purple as the sun sank below the horizon. I loved watching them. On the day where my soul was flying up, up, and higher still, I remember looking down below and seeing one of the most beautiful sunsets I had ever seen. I remember looking down on my body and Ulquiorra. I remember seeing tears track down his face, tracing his scars, and I remember seeing the sad smile that crossed his face. As if he knew I was there, watching him. Watching us.