Disclaimer: Rent was created by Jonathan Larson. Someone else now has the rights to it; I'm not sure who, but not me. I'm only having a bit of fun. Please don't sue me... pretty please?
Roger woke early and slipped out of bed, careful not to disturb Mark. He hurried down to the kitchen and started breakfast. Maybe if Mark was in an especially good mood today, he would forget that he wanted Roger to come into work with him.
Mark lay in the bed for a few minutes and listened to the sounds of Roger working in the kitchen. He liked hearing the sounds of someone going about their day. It made him feel connected to the world some day. He rose and went to the washroom, took a brief shower and then got dressed. By the time he went down the stairs, the smell of bacon was permeating the air.
He walked quietly into the kitchen and watched Roger for a few minutes. The younger man was making scrambled eggs, but the motions reminded Mark of why he wanted Roger to come with him to work. Although there was a lot of improvement in his arm, Mark noticed that Roger moved somewhat stiffly, so he was wondering if he was in pain at all. Not that Roger would tell him if anything was wrong.
It wasn't long before Roger served up a plate to Mark--bacon, eggs and toast. Traditional breakfast and completely delicious, just the thing to distract even the most dedicated doctor. He sat opposite Mark with a plate of toast and eggs for himself and started to eat.
"This is great," Mark said between bites. "I'm so thankful I decided not to stay kosher when I left home. Bacon is my weakness," he joked.
Roger smiled. "Have you ever tried a bacon cheeseburger? Amazing. Best food in the world." He shoveled a forkful of eggs into his mouth, swallow, and explained, "I'm picky about bacon. Don't like it out of sandwiches." He didn't want Mark asking questions about the conspicuous lack of bacon on Roger's plate. He'd set aside a few pieces for later, though.
"I like it just about anywhere. I once went to an all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet and they had trays of it. I was in heaven." Mark ate a few more bites. "Don't forget you're coming to the office with me today."
Roger winced and bit back an obscenity. "A-are you sure that's completely necessary?" he asked. "I'm feeling fine, I really am! And there's things I really should get to around here. The bathroom's all... grimy... and there's, I should make dinner, you know, so we can eat it, and... and..."
Mark cut him off. "Yes, Roger. I've overlooked your arm for far too long. I noticed you've got some stiffness in it, and I need to make sure it's healed properly. And I take it you haven't had a physical or vaccinations since you left home, have you?"
"W-well... well, no," Roger admitted sheepishly.
"Judging by your age, you're past due for tetanus and Rubella boosters. You need a physical if you want to work eventually, and I want to get some bloodwork done, too. You're a healthy seventeen-year-old and you're sexually active."
There was no way out of this: Roger recognized that. He nodded. It sounded simple enough, a few injections, getting hit with that little rubber hammer thingy. He could handle that. "I won't need any x-rays, will I?"
"Actually, you will. That's the only way I can be sure the bones in your arm are healed." Mark wondered why Roger seemed so bothered by X-rays. They didn't hurt, unlike the needles, which often did.
He paled. He couldn't get x-rays. "I-I really feel... I mean... it doesn't hurt... couldn't I just stay here and, you know, it's, I feel fine," he babbled.
Mark shook his head. "I'm sorry Roger, but I've let this go almost too long. If the bones healed improperly, you may need to have it rebroken or have surgery. I also have to check the tendons, and I need equipment in my office. Plus even if your feeling well now, I want to make sure you don't have anything that may be hiding in your system and show up weeks or months down the road."
"Please," he begged softly, blushing. He didn't like doing this. "Please let me stay here... I'll give you blood to take in, in a tupperware or something..."
Mark lightly chuckled at that image. "Can you imagine if I got pulled over for speeding and I had a tupperware container full of blood in my car?" He shook his head. "Roger, I really need you to come. The containers wouldn't be sterile so that would contaminate the sample... plus I don't think that's quite legal. Why are you so upset about coming to my office? You weren't scared before when I treated you there."
"I don't want to go," he whispered. It was the best answer he could give: he knew telling Mark the truth would cost a man his job, and although Roger loathed him... a part of him still loved Robert.
Mark didn't want to hurt Roger in any way, and for the most part, backed down when he needed to. However, matters of health were always a grey area for him. "Roger, you're going to have to come with me. You can stay in my office instead of going to the exam rooms, except for the X-rays. I don't want you to suffer because something might be wrong and we left it too late."
Roger shook his head. "I can't," he insisted, wishing Mark understood. "Nothing's wrong. I feel fine."
Mark stood up and wrapped Roger in a hug. "If it's the money, don't worry about that. This may seem a bit forward, but I called and had you added to my insurance the other day"
He trembled. How could he say no? Mark had been so good to him, and this... "Please, Mark, I... isn't there any way you can just... feel the bone?" he asked.
"I'm sorry, but that won't tell me enough. I need the X-rays. Why are you so scared of getting X-rays?"
"B-because... it's... I..." he garbled, unable to string two words together. There was no good explanation. It didn't hurt, it wasn't invasive... "I just... can't."
Mark tried to be patient. There was obviously something going on there, but he wasn't sure what Roger was getting at. "I'll be there to hold your hand," he offered. He knew it was lame, but maybe it would help Roger get over his fears.
"Please don't make me do this," he begged. "I'll do anything, but not this."
"Roger, it will be ok. I promise. Why can't you get X-rays done? They won't turn you radioactive, contrary to what comic books teach." It was bad attempt at humor, but Mark hoped it would make Roger relax. He could feel Roger's pulse get quicker and quicker and he was starting to develop a flush, indicating higher blood pressure. Something was terrifying Roger so much that he was reacting physically.
He shook his head. "No... no." He couldn't, just couldn't, and that was the end of it. He knew what he should do: he should laugh at Mark's bad joke and go into the office with him, just deal with it. "I'm not going!" He jumped up and drew away from Mark. "You can do anything you want to me, I don't care, but I'm not going," he decreed, feeling foolish and weak.
"Roger, calm down! I won't do anything to hurt you. You know that!" Mark was desperate to understand. What had Roger so scared? Was it the X-rays themselves?
"Then don't make me do this," Roger said. He shrank in on himself. There had to be an alternative
Mark was tempted to give in and let the issue drop, but something inside him said that there was much more to Roger's fear. "I can't unless you tell me why you're so scared. Your health is important, and I'm not going to risk it unless I know why."
Roger opened his mouth. He tried to explain but the words wouldn't come out. He tried again: nothing. He licked his lips and suggested, "Maybe... maybe there's another office I could go to..."
So it's something about my office, thought Mark. He could accept bringing Roger to another office, another doctor. Actually, he had been considering asking someone else to take over Roger's care because of their involvement now. Only his expertise in orthopedics prevented him from passing on the case. Mark wanted to delve deeper and find out what about the office scared Roger so much. "I'll look into finding somewhere else," he agreed, "But how am I supposed to know that you won't refuse to go there? What is it about my office that scares you? The memories of being hurt? Me?"
Roger shook his head. He hated that Mark was hurt, that he blamed himself. "It's not you," he whispered. "Please... just... please... I'll go anywhere else," he promised. And he would. Roger wanted the pain in his arm to stop, but he wouldn't risk seeing Robert again--or worse, Robert seeing him.
Mark saw how upset Roger was getting so decided to concede. If Roger got any more upset, he'd make himself sick, and Mark couldn't bear that thought. He still wanted to know what was going on, but Roger's overall well-being was starting to be compromised. "Okay," he said quietly. "I'll find another office, possibly one in the city. It shouldn't be too hard." He went over and hugged Roger. "I still want to talk about this after work, okay?"
Roger put his arms around Mark and held him tightly. He needed the comfort of that solidity just then, and with his body pressed against Mark's he nodded. In that moment he felt safe enough to admit the truth.
Mark was tense after his day at the office. His confrontation with Roger was a taste of the rest of the day. Being November, there was an influx of flu and minor accidents due to a change in the weather. The little old ladies were genuinely sick. He has a shortage of flu vaccine and was concerned about some of his more elderly patients. Plus the number of slip and fall accidents had the X-ray technicians up to their ears in work. Two of them put up with it, as they had the last couple of years, but one just seemed to grow more disgruntled as the day wore on. Mark had almost snapped at him when he complained about another wrist fracture. It didn't help Mark's stress levels. The weather also made driving more stressful since the roads were slippery and he had to pay more attention to his speed and others around him. By the time he got home, his shoulders were aching from stress and he had a minor headache. He was almost tempted to unwind with a beer, but knew he didn't want to alarm Roger again that day.
Roger could tell. He knew when people around him were stressed--there was a telling shift in gait, and it made the air brittle. Today Mark was stressed. That frightened Roger. Mark was stressed and it was his fault, at least partly.
"H-hey," he said softly, when Mark came inside. "Bad day?"
Mark flopped down on the couch and tried to rub his neck, a habit he only performed when tense. "You can say that again. Even with your cancelled appointment, I barely had enough time to sit down. The weather caused all sorts of slip-and-fall accidents and given the average age of my patients, that's a lot of broken bones and flu." He sighed. "Some of the people at the office were in a bad mood, especially that one X-ray tech. I was this close to yelling at him, but managed to keep my temper." He demonstrated by holding his finger and thumb half an inch apart. "And the drive home was no picnic either. People forget how to drive in bad weather. I almost got into an accident when I left the parking lot."
"I'm glad you're okay," Roger said, and meant it. He stood behind Mark and began to massage his shoulders. Roger knew just which x-ray tech was in a bad mood. That x-ray tech had probably been in a bad mood for the past two weeks.
"Ohhhh, that feels like heaven," said Mark, relaxing into the massage. "Thanks. How was your day?"
"It was fine." Roger continued, since it made Mark relax. "Dinner's ready when you're hungry," he murmured. Maybe, by some miracle, Mark had forgotten about their talk.
Mark reveled in Roger's touch for a few minutes longer. He could feel the tension leave his body and was much calmer when he stopped. "I haven't really had a chance to eat all day. Just a half a sandwich when there was a break between patients at one." He stretched and felt the kinks leave his back and shoulders. "You've got the magic touch. I feel so much better."
Roger all but beamed. "Come and sit down," he said. "You need to eat something." He understood that Mark was in a rush often throughout the day, actually he sort of liked that--it meant that when Mark came home he appreciated Roger all the more.
Mark followed Roger to the table. "I'm sorry, but I wasn't able to find another doctor today. I'll do it tomorrow before my office hours and get Jeannie to call for an appointment. I must not be giving her enough work, because she managed to take both coffee breaks and lunch today. I'll also make sure to look into correspondence courses for you. I've got a few leads, but didn't make the calls yet."
"Okay. Thank you." Roger filled two bowls with tortilla soup and crumbled cheese onto them, then added tortilla strips. Traditionally this would involve avocado but try finding good avocados in November! He set a bowl in front of Mark and took the other himself.
Mark ate heartily. He was famished from his long day. After a few minutes, the edge was taken from his hunger and he looked over at Roger. "This really hit the spot. I needed something warm. You're spoiling me again." he grinned. "Given any more thought to cooking school?"
"A little," Roger admitted. He didn't want to go to cooking school, though. He wanted to study English--not that he could admit that. He would never make it.
"I'm glad you're thinking about the future. You can do anything you want to do you know, Roger. I'm just teasing when I talk about cooking school." He ate some more. "So what would you like to do tonight?"
"You wanted to talk," Roger blurted. He didn't savor that talk, but it was better, he felt, to get it out of the way early on. Maybe they would even enjoy their evening. Roger was determined not to break down this time.
"Yes, I did." Mark was surprised that Roger was so willing to talk right away. He expected that he'd want to do other things and then talk in bed before they went to sleep. It seemed all of their serious conversations happened there. "This morning, I was very worried about your reaction to going to the office. You seemed okay with it until I mentioned X-rays." He didn't push further, just wanted to see if Roger would volunteer more information
Roger nodded. He locked his jaw, then realized he wasn't helping by being reticent. If he wanted to get this over with, he needed to help. He took a deep breath. "You won't just accept that I don't like your office?" he asked.
Mark shook his head. "If it were the office as a whole, you would have put up a fight before I mentioned the X-rays. The fact that you volunteered to put your blood in tupperware eliminates the needles as the cause. Why are you afraid of X-rays?"
He sighed. "I'm not." The idea of X-rays had bothered him before, but three years with an x-ray technician had taught him that there was little to no chance of mutation or injury.
"Then why are you so afraid to have them taken?"
"I... I just..." Come on... don't be a wimp... "Someone who works in your office knew me before." It was true, but saved Robert's dignity.
Mark furrowed his brow. "Are you afraid they'll tell your family where you are?"
He shook his head. "It's not that..."
"So they knew you when you were with your ex? You're afraid they'd tell him where you are?" Mark smiled. "We have privacy agreements at the office. If word got back, that's a breech of their employment conditions."
"No-- I mean-- that's when, but..." Roger shook his head. "It's not safe."
"I don't think you have to worry about word getting back to Rob..." Mark's voice trailed away as his brain finally connected Roger's ex-boyfriend to the surly technician employed in his office. "My X-ray technician is your ex, isn't he?" he said softly. Although it was phrased as a question, there was little doubt in Marks mind of the fact.
Roger ducked his head and hunched his shoulders. He wanted to appear as small as possible, to disappear. Suddenly he was afraid Mark would make him go back to Robert.
He nodded.
Mark got up from the table and went to Roger, wrapping his arms around him in a hug. "I won't make you go to my office. You're safe. I won't let him find you."
"He hates you," Roger whispered. He held tightly to Mark. "He hates you so much. If he knew I was here he would kill you." In truth Robert probably wouldn't, but in Roger's mind things were rarely as reality showed.
"We don't really get along, but I doubt that he'd kill me," said Mark. "I'm really careful about what I say about my private life at the office. Some of the patients would be uncomfortable if they found out I was gay, so I make it clear that my practice and home life are to remain separate." He hugged Roger tighter. "But, I appreciate your concern."
Roger nodded. He would do anything for Mark--anything short of follow him to work. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before," he said.
Mark smiled at him. "I understand why you didn't, but I'd prefer if you told me things right away. I'm not going to make you go back to him or try to get rid of you, no matter what you say or do." Mark truly believed his words. He was growing rather fond of Roger and cared deeply for him, more deeply than most of his previous boyfriends. He had realized that when he had called the insurance company, thinking that he would like it if it remained a permanent arrangement. Granted, he wasn't ready to call it love. That would take time.
"If he knew I was here he would make me go back," Roger explained. Robert would find Mark's phone number and address, just like Roger had. He would show up and Roger would have to go home with him again.
"I won't let that happen," Mark stated. "I wish I could get rid of him at the office, but I don't have grounds to. Being in a bad mood isn't enough to fire someone, unfortunately."
Roger swallowed a bite of soup, thinking for a moment. He knew he could... but should he?
"What about statutory rape?" he asked softly, choking on his heart.
Mark thought for a moment. "Not grounds for firing someone, but if he were convicted of a sexually based crime, then he wouldn't be allowed to work in my office. But that would mean you'd have to press charges and go through a trial. Do you think you could handle that?" That was a lot of pressure to put on someone so emotionally traumatized.
Roger thought about it. He would have to see Robert again, which would be difficult... and he didn't necessarily want to ruin him... did he? The thought disturbed him. No, no, of course not. Of course he didn't. Except that he kind of did. And a trial, a fair trial, that would let the law decide. That had to be right... didn't it? "I could try."
"It's going to be very hard," Mark warned, "But I'll be here for you and support you through it. With the X-rays and medical reports I made before, we could add assault charges as well."
"Whatever you think is best. I don't know about... this type of thing," he admitted. In fact he hadn't even heard the term statutory rape before, but he'd been doing some research of his own.
"We'll have to contact the police in order to file a complaint. Then I think we should talk to my lawyer. He'd be able to advise us on what to do. Do you want to file the charges tonight?"
"I don't know. Can we? I guess as soon as possible..."
Mark was proud of Roger for being so decisive. "Get your coat. I think this is the type of thing you have to do in person."
Roger didn't even stop to protest that he needed to do the dishes. He got up and pulled on his coat.
to be continued!
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