**Most of you know me from my two most successful works: 'Welcome to Forks High, Home of the Cullens' & 'Alice & Jasper's Untold Tales', right? Those are fluff...maybe not hardcore fluff, but practically anything is compared to this story. As i edit it, i'm wondering if someone is gonna flame me for being so cruel with my 'own jasper'. Yeah, it is pretty cringeworthy, and i may scare some readers off, but i just want to see how it goes. Go ahead and flame me if you want--it builds to a better story, but if you say 'get rid of all teh angst', well--i can't really do THAT. This whole story is already written down to teh final period, so i just do tweaks and pinches here 'n' there. This is for all the angst lovers! :D I myslef like a good tearjerker now and then, but trust me i'm not a creep witchling that casts spells on people and plot deaths. But i do like stephen king...you could figure that. :/ **

Ch. 3--Lust isn't Comfort

After what seemed decades, I managed to open my eyes and concentrate on my surroundings. I supposed I wasn't awake that whole 'few decades' of darkness, because Maria was gone.

"M--Mar--"

"Hush, my friend. Don't strain yourself." A firm hand touch my cheekbone. It didn't have the tantalizing effect that Maria's did.

"Pe--Pet--"

"Did you not hear me?" My friend hissed. I fell silent.

"You took quite a beating." Peter's voice was saddened. I managed a twitch like nod. He sighed. "Look at us." He whispered to what seemed himself. I waited in darkness.

"T--tell me what y--you see, Peter." I begged.

"I see two broken vampires that were once happy men with good families and bright futures. I see us dying in battle with nothing to be proud of. No medal of honor or someone to speak at our funerals. I see this to never end, and for us to die in a ring of firewood as jumbled pieces." His voice was sad, tired. Longing.

I let my eyes close. I tried to get my strength back to at least stand. My wounds were no longer throbbing with juicy pain and venom. They were dry of the poison. Maria must have sucked them dry already. They still hurt very much, though, so much that when I bolted upright, I winced and moaned sharply.

"Do not do that, Jasper." Peter snapped. I hissed in air and cradled my side. I didn't look at the shreds of ribbons that I felt hanging from the shirt Maria had given me that very morning.

I realized that the black sky had become yellowish with the rising sun. I blinked up at it, then realized the field's status.

Peter and I were alone.

I wished Maria was there to encourage me and support me and praise me, but I only had Peter. I immediately felt guilty for that remark, for Peter was like my brother. He was too good for me.

"You really think you can walk?" Peter asked me.

"I never said I could." I said quietly. Peter sighed.

"Well, Maria said you should. Before sunrise. Let's go."

I winced at the thought, but I winced more when the idea was put to motion. Peter looked away as he wrapped my arms around my waist, as I screamed. He gently moved his hand as to not jostle my new bite there. My arm hung limp and heavy, and I couldn't lean on Peter very efficiently with my collar torn to fleshy bits.

We staggered back in the direction of the mansion we hid out in. After a long while, Peter wordlessly heaved me on his back and booked it, even as I gasped at the sharp pain of his suddenness.

When we reached the lawn, I collapsed, finding no more strength to hold on. Peter tried to grab me, but only let his fingers brush the one place he would have snatched; my side. I was glad he let me fall, for it was far less painful than having my weight bludgeon my side wound.

I moaned pitifully in the golden grass, the sun peeking from the hilltops, the gray stormy swirls of last night lingering. Peter's eyes were saddened, and I knew I deserved the sickening pity. The emotion was so cold and pure that it made me shudder.

Peter helped me up and we limped to the door. As soon as my comrade turned the knob, several female vampires swooshed out in their petticoats and white dresses. I was so exhausted, but I could hear myself whisper, "Peter, come with me." The women gently propped me up and helped me into Maria's quarters. I didn't want to go there, I wanted to go to Peter's room. I wanted him--my best friend, to manage for me. Brennan would help, too. He was a kind fellow.

"You're in good hands, Jasper. Get better." His voice was thin and faraway. I selfishly wanted him to be around as I healed, but he had to rest, himself. He had to spend the night in an abandoned field with his nearly dead friend. That was already an amazing favor to give, but I wanted to feel his real compassion, not Maria's fake emotion.

I think at one point, the nursing vampires tried to carry me, but I already was stiff from Peter's piggy-back ride. I shouted my disagreement as my feet left the ground. They hurriedly let me back down as I gasped in pain. I was not about to be carried by a pack of lustful women. This was true--they were thinking such thoughts in my time of pain. It sickened me.

"Maria? Your soldier has arrived." One female broke from our traveling group, speaking into Maria's room. The red hues reflected off her pale face.

Maria hurried out and saw me with her wide scarlet eyes. I sighed in relief, here was Maria. "Bring him in." she said in the soft voice. I could feel her emotion, but it was much weaker than Peter's. I bit my lip.

I was shuffled into the room, and I had to feel privileged--most vampires with my type of wounds would have been left behind to die, let alone be treated in the master's quarters. The infamous silken sheets rustled against my back. I choked on air, the pain swelling every second. I knew that a few hours of stillness would steady the pain.

"Thank you, girls. You are off." Maria whispered to them, and I could feel their longing glances at me. Wishing me better, wishing I was theirs. I looked away.

The door closed with softness. I inhaled the scent of Maria all around me, shuddering.

She laid down beside me, looking at my face. I didn't look at hers. I stared at the ceiling. "Jasper." she said my name, and I could barely feel anything towards it. I couldn't risk moving. She was still. We both were. "I'll leave you now. I'll be back in a few hours. Rest."

I didn't respond. My eyes closed heavily.

I felt the bed bounce slightly as she rose from it. I heard her tiny feet patter across the room, around the bed. I heard scratching--rummaging. I didn't lift my lids.

"This will soothe you." I heard the record player's needle tinkle on the vinyl. A crackled tune rose in the air, and I was alone.

The music was violinists playing their sad songs. The mournful melody caressed the walls. The drapes. The sheets. My body. Such sad music.

So sad…

I saw black.

--...--

"Jasper?"

I opened my eyes without any sign of weariness. I supposed I was shutting out the world, so I could just come back with the blink of an eye.

Maria sat beside me, staring down at me with huge red eyes. I uncomfortably shifted around in the satin sheets. "Maria." That's all I could managed through my embarrassment.

I was undressed down to my undershorts.

Luckily, I had the sheets, but why was I undressed? I guessed Maria saw my confusion and embarrassment. "Your clothes were sort of bleeding on my sheets." She shrugged, but not in a get-over-it way. It was sort of sweet. I still shivered. I had been in these sheets this way before, but not as a weakling with a woman caring for me.

"Sorry about that." I drawled. I grimaced at my dumb accent again. Maria smiled a little.

"It's okay, but you are still a little grimy from that blood you downed." She gestured at the dried maroon blotches, infesting my skin like a second disease. The scars were my first.

I knew what she was implying, and my body was screaming no. She wanted me in the bath tub…well, you could see where her train of thought was. My body was not up for that, though I was expected to appreciate it--it was my reward. I seemed sore even when we normally were together--let alone after I was massacred.

"I'll go back to my quarters and wash up." I offered, moving around the sheets, I pulled them over myself and asked quickly, "May I borrow some clothes to walk down to my room?"

Maria rolled her eyes and laughed. "Just use mine, silly. It's right there." She pointed to the white door I had seen her retreat to so many times. I shied away from it, quite honestly. It would be a different story if Maria added to her sentence, "I'll leave you be."

She didn't add that, though.

She ripped off the covers instead. I lay there, with the sunlight streaming on my mangled body. I saw her lust flicker and then blaze at the sight of me, and she wasn't subtle about it outwards, either. Her eyes glowered and ranged over my body until I stood up.

I dashed into the bathroom and was about to jump into the tub and get it over with before she could enter, but my side protested. I gasped in pain and nearly clutched it, adding to the agony.

"Oh, God." Maria hissed, easily opening the locked door. She came up to me, placing her hands on my ribs, above the wound. I shuddered.

"Let me help you." She whispered into my back. I leaned away, but she stayed close as she helped me into the porcelain tub. The smooth surface was cold. I felt utterly vulnerable in the waterless tub, under the bright lights and Maria, whom was fully dressed. Her pity made me shiver. I hugged my knees and listened as Maria twisted the water knob.

The faucet hissed, and the water was undeniably wonderful against my bloodied and beaten skin. My eyes grazed over my forearm. Another scar to the collection…

Her hand touched my back. I pressed my forehead to my knees, silently dreading Maria, even after I had wanted her so badly in the field. I only wanted her as comfort, but I guess I knew she could never give me that, no matter how hard she tried. She couldn't fool me with fake emotion.

Her fingers grazed my bare skin, but I didn't look up. The water rose to kiss my arm, and it stung for a moment, then simply felt nice and hot. I sighed and finally let myself melt.

I was very careful as I leaned against the tub's lip. My head fell back as I inhaled the steamy air that rose around me. I guess I forgot Maria was there until she touched me again.

She touched my shoulder, caressing it. Her lust was heightening, becoming impossible to ignore. "Maria, not now." I whispered. I closed my sore lids, wishing she could understand, just this once.

"What do you mean?" she squeaked.

"I told you I can feel other's emotions." I snapped, my eyes popping open in frustration. It faded to fear. My collarbone throbbed.

Maria fell silent. "Don't you think we deserve it?"

I closed my eyes, massaging my temples. Her hand tugged at my wrist until I gently pried it from her. "Please, Maria. I'm still so sore." My voice didn't sound like my own. It was cracked with pain and whispery soft. Begging.

"I've had a bite before. They shouldn't hurt anymore." She said coldly.

"These were very deep. Plus, the venom pooled in my veins before being removed." I shot back. The water suddenly felt freezing.

Maria's breath was hot on my neck.

"I created you."

I didn't answer, for I was frightened.

"You do as I say. Normally, you always obey me."

I swallowed, my collar swelling. "Maria…"

A hand slapped over my mouth, and one of my most hellish nights began.

**Dun Dun Dun Dun DUNNNNNN**