The ferry was rocking slightly, from one side to another in lazy, long moves as the docks finally came into the view .They were both leaning onto the railing, the chilly winds wrapping around them. Long strands of dark brown hair flapped around the young woman's head, as their eyes were focused on the vast lowlands of the Eastern Continent.

"So…" Cloud finally broke the silence and his words danced lightly in the wind "It feels…"

"…lighter..."

"Everything is nowadays…" the corners of his lips tugged upwards "Those two kids back there… made me think that."

Tifa smiled lightly atthe memory, a soft 'mhm' sound formed in the back of her throat as she enjoyed the gentle touches of the sea breeze on her cheeks. Seeing life, unspoiled and real, once again flurishing in their old village was hard, yet it finally allowed them to let go of the pain, fire and blood. And the tragic incident would not be forgotten...

"I think we should call Rufus when we come back"

"I hate to own him anything"

"I know" she nodded, fingers tapping a rhythm on the steel railing "We still ought to…"

He glanced at her fingers dancing on the cold metal, soft and light and elegant. It warmed him deep inside to see that – he still could remember the sweet tune she used to play on the piano when she was a child, and much later on, when they made a stop in Nibelheim for the first time… when they discovered it was rebuilt.

"How's living with Elmyra?" she asked then, turning slightly to look him straight in the eye.

It's been a while since Cloud moved out, and in the same time, a while since they managed to talk eye to eye. He still kept some things at the bar, and they saw each other in the late evenings when she was closing up and he came to drop something off… But still, it was all short questions and short answers. On their travel to Nibelheim and their stay there, they were still quiet, overwhelemd by the conflicting feelings.

"Not bad… Different. I miss having breakfast made, though…"

"Well... I can make you some. I'm up at the crack of the dawn anyway" one slender shoulder rose and fell in a nonchalant manner.

"Trouble sleeping?"

"Habit" Tifa bit the tip of her thumb slightly, eyes focused on the grey waves in front of them.

The blond sighed quietly, many questions swimming in his head and he couldn't voice even one. And gods how he wanted to. But Cloud was never a person to ask a straight question… no, he would go around it as much as it was possible, hoping that the person would guess it anyway. Tifa usually knew his questions before he got too mixed up, and she had her answers. But today he saw the way her shoulders blades were drawn together just an inch more, and how her lips bore the little marks of her teeth. And he saw the purple hue tinting the thin skin at very edges of her lashes.

"How is it?"

"What is?" warm wine eyes looked at him again.

"Without me around"

Tifa pondered about that question for a longer while. It was one of those easy, yet hard questions to answer. It was different, it was louder, it was more hectic… And it the same time it was more tiring, more exhausting.

"Different…" she threw his own answer back at him "Much more different. Louder, that's for sure…"

Cloud nodded lightly, perfectly well understanding what she meant by that. When they were still living together, they were used to the silence around them. Tifa used to hum something under her nose sometimes, and they would share a few words, but that was something they were most comfortable with. Now he was living with Aerith and Elmyra, both of them however were used to words and talking to each other, and Cloud often was often pulled into conversations even if he still replied with monosyllables. And Tifa had Zack on her head, whose chirpy attitude was easily mirrored by the kids…

"Zack's not been giving you a hard time?"

Her fingers interwined as she leaned forward slightly, supporting her weight on the railing. Was he giving her a hard time… No, of course not. He was just giving her a hell of an emotional ride, asking all the questions and demanding answers, pulling all the right strings … And he was stubborn, persistent, and everything she wasn't used to… And Zack was… he was…

She bit her lip again.

"Depends on what you consider 'hard time' I guess…" she finally said, her words cautious and voice flat "He demands a lot of attention…"

"Tifa…"

"I don't think I want to talk about him right now" she tilted her head towards him, her eyes squinting slightly as she flashed him a smile and he nodded "I'm glad you're happy"

"I got you to thank"

"No… you got yourself to thank"

Cloud then motioned for her to move closer, even if she was only inches away. He felt more than heard her soft sigh as she did so, her head resting on his shoulder, brown tresses brushing against the bare skin as his arms wrapped loosely around her waist.

"Nothing changed between us right?" he asked quietly against her ear, even if they were the only two on the top board ,and he felt her nod.

"Nothing ever did" she returned the small hug, relishing in the small moment of comfort before their hands fell down the their sides and she looked up, gazing into clear blue eyes.

"I'll always be your sword"

Tifa smiled gently as she took one small step back from him, her hand gently brushing against his.

"And I'll always be your shield" she said after a while and then she turned to face to watch the grey sea, that soft smile still present on her lips, her eyes shining.

No matter what, that will never change.

And it felt nice… being certain for at least once.

Zack stared down at his hand, his brows furrowed, lips twisted. Damn, maybe he should have allowed Aerith to heal it when she offered. Obviously he didn't get rid of every little piece of glass back then, and now his right hand was swollen and he could feel blood pulsing through every finger, wounds irritated.

It was barely two days after Tifa came back home, two days since he avoided her as much as possible, irrational hurt filling him every time he looked at her. He really did try to reason with himself, gods were his witnesses that he did! Nibelheim was something Cloud and Tifa had to deal with by themselves, find their own closure....

But he was there too…

He burned in the same fire, his skin was licked by the same flames. He was in that god forbidden mansion for four fucking years…

He squeezed his eyes tight, counting to twenty in his head, brushing away the unpleasant memories and the anger that flared every time he thought about it. And that happened very often in the last 48 hours and he was starting to doubt if he could stop himself from snapping sooner or later. Probably sooner, knowing he wasn't a person to hide his feelings.

A soft knock on the door made him turn, eyes open, hands hidden from view.

"Zack…?" Tifa walked in, her steps cautious, seeing the stiff way in which his shoulders were drawn back together.

She wondered for a brief moment if this was a good idea, to come up here now. She had a tiring day after all, but she intended to ask him some questions about what had happened while she was away. And why was Zack avoiding her all of the sudden, leaving any room the moment she entered it, or why did his eyes flare up with something close to anger… Her hand flew to her neck, rubbing the tense muscle there, as she came to a stop in front of him.

"What is it?" maybe he should have tried a little bit harder, because as sure as hell his voice wasn't neutral right now.

"I wanted to talk with you" she sat across him, the springs of Cloud's old bed squeaking slightly under her weight.

"About what?"

Zack watched her out of the corner of his eye as she stretched her legs and leaned backwards, supporting her weight on her elbows. He felt slightly guilty about her being here right now, after she finally got the kids to bed, got rid of some very stubborn customers and cleaned up… The red numbers of his clock screamed out 2 hours past midnight, and they both would be up at dawn… Tifa because it was just her habit, and him because he would hear her stir awake…

"I heard you had a fight with Aerith"

"What?" blue eyes snapped to her face and he blinked with utter surprise. Well that was completly unexpected.

"Denzel told me you two were having a very heated discussion when we were away. And well… Zack… you left a kick-ass dent in my kitchen counter"

Right… he forgot about that one. It was to big not to notice by a blind man, and he was absolutely stupid for even hoping Tifa wouldn't, since it was her kitchen.

"We didn't have a fight" he stopped himself before he clenched his fists, before the unpleasant feeling in his hand turned into annoying pain "We were just talking"

"Talking" an oddly flat response, and one of her brows wandered up in a slightly mocking manner.

"Yeah, talking. We sometimes do that" didn't he say to himself not to let his stupid anger the best of him?? Well he was doing a might well job judging by the way her brows raised and she pushed herself up to a sitting position, her elbows resting on her knees, fingers curled around each other as they supported her chin "Sorry…"

"Well..?"

"What?"

"Are you going to tell me what on earth is wrong with you?" her brows were knitted now, and eyes were serious and Zack clamped down the urge to shift uncomfortably under her gaze "You've been acting strange lately"

Of course she would notice that. Keen and observant but in the same time so utterly oblivious.

"I don't think I want to tell you…" he looked her straight in the eye, almost smirking as he saw surprise flash in the red depths.

Then that small look changed into worry as he forgot himself and finally clenched his hands into fists, wincing at the burning sensation that ran through his veins. And when those little, stubborn red dots vanished from his sight, Tifa suddenly was kneeling next to him, her hands reaching for his, her lips forming a flat line as she gazed at the angered bruises.

"Were you planning on not telling me about this as well?" there was a small note of hurt in her voice as her fingertips gently touched each irritated cut, feeling the pus that was gathered under the reddened, hot skin.

"Seemed like a good idea at one moment of time" he muttered under his nose, her feather like touch painfully reminding him of hot needles pricking his skin, breaking the thin tissue over and over again.

"Oh Zack…" it was a bare whisper that washed over him, one syllable that numbed out his senses.

He briefly wondered how could she do that, what was that tone in her voice as she breathed out his name. Soft but still urging, and maybe it was the same one she used to get through to Cloud so many times before… But still there was something else around it, something warm that made him sigh heavily, letting go of the hurt and anger, feeling them slip through his fingers.

"Let me take care of it" it was more of a request than an order and he found himself nodding, as tired red eyes looked deep into his when she slowly rose to her feet.

Zack obediently followed her, his teeth clenched tight, as his blood rushed faster and faster with each step he took, a strange buzzing in his ears drowning out the small sounds her feet would make. The lights of the bathroom were bright, reflecting on the snow white tiles, dancing on the glass of the shower and the polished surface of the mirror. Blue eyes squinted at first, a white blurry haze he yet had to blink away.

She never let go of his hand on the way there, he realized.

The sound of water running, splashing against the smooth porcelain surface of the basin caught his attention. And Zack frowned as he saw the small kit Tifa pulled from under the sink, all potions, balms and bandages… And the cold steel of a small scalpel caught his attention, it's sharp blade shining brightly as she handled it with caution.

"Is there a chance you're not going to stab me with that?" he asked, his voice all dull and low, trying to keep quite not to wake the kids sleeping just behind one of the walls.

"No..not really" he could swear that he saw a flicker of amusement in her eyes as she motioned for him to come a step closer.

And with a heavy sigh, he did. Zack hated pain that was caused by little things… Large gashes, open sword wounds would heal and leave manly scars, something he could be proud of and something that would make the ladies swoon about… but the little needles … little cuts from surgical knives… those he couldn't handle. Those awakened too many memories.

He winced as the sharp blade cut the inside of his palm, the rich crimson of his blood mixing with the dirty, ugly yellowish-green liquid caused by the infection. Her fingers danced around the reopened bruise, pushing on the tissue gently, making the substance flow out more and more under the slight pressure. Its stench hitting their noses, a mixture that reminded both of them of decay and torn flesh. Staining the ivory skin of her fingers…

"Now why would you do that…?" she asked quietly in that velvety voice of her he came to dread so much, gently pulling out the one shred of glass that still shimmered from beneath the bloody mess of broken tissue and pus that his hand now was.

Zack stubbornly kept his mouth closed and his eyes fixed on the way she would take care of his hand, reopening every small wound, her fingers still burning but it felt like it dampened the liquid fire that he felt run through his veins for the last two days… it seeped away with the toxins and infection, washed away by ice cold water.

But most of all, he saw the soft way the longer strands of her fringe fell into her face, their tips kissing the apples of her cheeks. The soft tint of red that flashed beneath the long lashes and Zack shifted unintentionally, just an inch closer but still.

Tifa pulled out every little piece of glass that he didn't remove back then, bathing each cut with an antiseptic, ignoring the unpleasant smell washing over her senses time and time again and the way his hand felt under her touch. She still wanted to know what caused Zack to do this to himself, yes she did, but she was tired, too tired to push her questions through and demand a straight answer. The heavy, emotional burden and its sudden release … she went through that just two days ago and it all was only now catching up with her, and combined with the normal, everyday fatigue it made her just give up in her attempts. Still she felt him watching her, that one jet black tuft of hair brushing slightly against the tip of her nose. And when she exhaled loudly, that black strand swayed as the warm air wrapped itself around it.

His healthy hand came up, brushing some hair out of her face, his fingers sliding down her cheeks to linger slightly at her jaw, shaking as he fought the urge to tilt her head up to face him. That would break this strange tranquility they had now… But as he lowered his hand away from her face, it found its resting place on the soft roundness of her hip, tips of his fingers barely touching the thin fabric of her shorts. But Zack still could feel the heat from her body that was all warmth and comfort under his touch.

It was strange, this moment they shared, Tifa thought. Under not so pleasant circumstances, blood seeping and with questions that lingered between them like a heavy blanket, unspoken questions that demanded answers… She found this bizarre while suspended somewhere in time, somewhere beyond everyday life and above reality. With no words shared, they just were there, next to each other, with gentle touches of a wet cloth and a soothing, cool balm that seeped into every cut.

And it was when she wrapped the clean bandage carefully around his hand, not too tight, not too loose, and both of them hated the fact that she knew perfectly well how to treat a wound, when her forehead brushed against his shoulder. Only then realization came, how much did the space between them shrink, with the messy tufts of her hair just beneath his lips. And the inviting warmth was just too much for her, overwhelming and breaking through.

Zack could see all the little, tiny lines that appeared in the outer corners of her eyes as she suddenly leaned onto him, resting her head on his shoulder. And he could almost feel the flutter of her lashes as her lids slid close, hiding the ruby red irises from his view. She was so small against him, he realized in the very moment. She was maybe an inch taller than Aerith, and maybe this was not the first time she was in his arms, but this had to be the first time he actually felt it. And he wanted to say something right now, to explain his actions and his anger, to question her doings, but when he saw her fingers rest on the sturdy, worn out leather of his belt he remained silent.

For the very first time she was near him and he appreciated it, his healthy hand stroking the glossy strands of her hair.

He was warm, that was the only thing buzzing in Tifa's head. Warm and solid, and she felt drowsy as warm breath washed over her ear and strong fingers threaded through her hair. After all, she had a tough day, and a little sleep, and then she really tried to talk with Zack… But then she saw his hand, all swollen and burning up…

"Tired?" Zack murmured softly, feeling her body slump against his all of the sudden, his arms supporting her weight.

Was this how Cloud felt when she'd hug him on that last night before he moved out? Did he feel the way she sagged against him, cheek brushing against the thin cotton of his shirt? Did Cloud too feel like there were powdery sweet flowers blossoming deep inside of his chest?

"I am…" she sighed, feeling herself being lulled by the steady rhythm of his heart, her limbs too heavy to move by even an inch. This was so different … but a good different, she thought in a daze, her mind already shutting off and her knees slowly giving up on her.

She didn't even register when it was him that fully supported her weight, her frame cradled gently against his.

And this was probably the first time when she didn't even give a whimper of a protest when he picked her up, her lean body curling softly in his arms, brown head resting comfortably on his shoulder. She probably would fight against it any other day, would stubbornly reject any help and god forbid any of his touch… but apparently, she could handle only as much. Her eyes remained closed when he carried her with no real effort, her body light and surprisingly fragile for a fighter he knew she was.

If someone were to ask him how long he stood there later on, watching over her sleeping form after he placed her on her bed, after he saw her red eyes close for the last time that night, Zack really couldn't give an answer. He just watched her, as the moon kissed her lids and caressed the roundness of her cheeks. Listened to how she breathed in and out, the warm air slipping lovingly pass her lips.

And he tried to convince himself it was all because of what Cloud said on that last night here, with a tired voice that was all worry and hope, when he asked the former SOLDIER to watch over his childhood friend. To look after her… protect her. He sighed lightly, as he recalled the clear light in Cloud's eyes, the need to be reassured filling the air that was between them. It was so easy to say 'yes' to that… With memories from the coast alive in his head and the imprinted memento of her sun kissed skin under his hands, he agreed to a promise he didn't know if he could fulfill.

Independent? Strong-willed? Aerith's voice rang in his mind, as Tifa shifted slightly, a soft gasp leaving her lips. Was this how everyone saw her as? Thick brows knitted. But she was so much more than that… she deserved so much more than the respect everyone loved to throw in her direction. To know it was ok not to be strong all the time… To remember how it was to share pain, not keep it all bottled up... But ripping that smiling face of a mask off her was a hard task, maybe one of the hardest one could do in their life. After all... Tifa fought not only with her fists against monsters and men. Her hardest battles were the ones that took place in the depth of her being, with herself as her only opponent. Cloud knew that, and now Zack knew it as well. But Tifa's childhood friend couldn't reach pass the highest guards, even if they both held each other for so, so long and even if their lives were probably eternally intwerwined. Wasn't he the most appropriate person? And he still thought that Zack was the one who supposed to do that…?

She turned around again, her face smooth and relaxed, dreams blossoming in her mind, brows drawn back, all of those small lines and creases disappearing as she breathed deeply. Only when weary became too much she slept deeply like that, Zack knew that already.

He shook his head, pulling the cover up to her chin, warm breath washing over his hand as he did so. Was he really supposed to break this…? A promise was a promise, it held and bounded, it was sacred. Promises meant the world here... But as he knelt next to her bed, he felt that small annoying voice telling him a promise wouldn't make him hold on to his anger for so long. A promise wouldn't cause waves of hurt when he found out she left without even a word… And it surely wouldn't awaken a need to hold her close…

It took a lot not to touch her face again, not to feel the smooth skin under his fingertips for one more time. But he knew all too well how little did it took for Tifa to wake up and he wanted to give her a nights rest.

She desereved that at least.

Smiling to himself, Zack threw her one last look and picked up her alarm clock, quietly making his way back into his own room.

He will still have to talk to her about Nibelheim and everything she tried to hide, to bury deep inside herself. Maybe not today, ane maybe not tomorrow but he will. And she will not push him back next time, because dammit all he will stand his ground.

Tonight however… he was content knowing that she was fast sleep, curled up in her bed, her arms wrapped around her frame.

What he didn't know, was the fact that it was his smile that would appear in her dreams throughout the night.

Author's Note:

I have to admit I felt strangely at ease wiritng this chapter. After all of the strange confusion, reliving pain and anger of the previoush chapters, this came out as asoft breath of fresh air for me.

Therefore, I hope you enjoy this if there are any mistakes you think are unberable just let me know one way or other.

Keep me a happy bunny and just hit that R&R button *grins*