Chapter 5: Unforgiving

All of a sudden I see Jake fly through the air and hit the wall on the opposite side of the room. I gasped. To shocked, to terrified to move. I saw Jacob jump up from the corner of my eye. I still couldn't release my self to look away Jake came running snarling teeth bared, he was shaking, it looked like he was having a hard time keeping his form. NO was all I could think, NO, NO. but nothing was coming out. I jumped to my feet, and ran in front of Jacob, he stopped dead in his tracks still snarling and convulsing.

"Bella? Bella are you ok." No not now not here not that velvet voice. "Please. Bella, please look at me." I shut my eyes tight as I was turned around, I heard another snarl come from behind me, from Jacob. "Bella open your eyes." It wasn't going away. Please go away. I can do this not again. I shook my head, that's all I could do.

"Don't touch her you sniveling bloodsucking parasite!" Jacob growled. and then I heard it a snarl come from far behind me, it wasn't Jake. Who ever it was let out a gasp.

"Ooo, what the…?" I knew that voice, I never imagined that voice. It was like soft music, it was, Alice

"No, No, No not again please not again i cant do it again. I cant go through that again." I continued to shake my head.

"No what Bella please? Bella are you ok. Please speak to me. I cant believe your alive, I mean I, Bella oh god Bella." I felt cold hands on my arms pulling me closer, I felt the coldness through the tight, shirt. UGH I side, why did he have to be so god like. "Bella please say something."

I was still shaking my head, eyes still closed. I willed myself to wake up, this had to be a nightmare it had to be. I wrenched my eyes open. Staring back at me weren't the same topaz eyes I was so fond and familiar with, these were dark, unlike the first day I ever met Edward, these eyes looked hallow, empty. Lifeless. I gasped again, and did the only thing I could think of to escape this nightmare. I screamed.

"NO." I shouted and began to shake my head again I tried to back away but he had my arms, I finally pulled one arm free and slapped him across the face as hard as I could. It hurt. But he let go. I backed up and tripped, I fell onto the floor, he tried to help me up, but I screamed and pulled away, I scrambled up the stairs into my room slammed the door and locked it. Tears started to fall, as I slid down the back of my door, into a pile, a blubbering, hysterical pile.

I heard yelling and sounds of feet running up the stairs, more like an elephant. It must have been Jacob, now way were Edward and Alice that noisy. I pulled my knees up to my chin. I felt someone try to open the door, no doubt they could hear me crying.

"Bella. Bells." Jacob bellowed. "Don't make me call Charlie! Bella, open the door. Hunny, please!"

"Stop leave me alone, just go away!" I Screamed, I pleaded through the sobs. I heard him plop himself down on the other side of my door in the hall. It annoyed me, why couldn't he just listen.

"GO AWAY JAKE!" I screamed.

"Bella I'm not leaving you like this, I wont leave you like he did!"

"Dammit Jake just stop please." the last part came as a whisper. I didn't know what else to say, what else to do, I couldn't go back out there. I couldn't face those demons again. I couldn't, I wouldn't do it. I wondered what happen to Alice and.. I sighed I still couldn't think it. No, I imagined it, both of them it was just a nightmare, to force me back into this shell of a life. Life I scoffed it was no life. I had no life. I lost my life a year ago. When Edward left he took my life with him. I felt cold hands on rub my back. No I shook my head, not here to, please. I opened my eyes. To see Alice sad sullen face looking down at me. If she could cry, I'm pretty she would be.

"Are you ok Bella?" she said in a low voice. I heard shuffling from the other side of the door. And a loud growl.

"Bloodsucker, how did you…"

"Don't you growl at me mongrel."

"STOP please. Both of you."

"Open the door Bella, Please." Jake pleaded with me.

"She will when she's ready, I have her right now, why don't you go home and take a flea bath!." Alice hissed. I had never really seen Alice angry, but she sure did look angry. Why was she mad at Jacob he didn't do anything.

"I am not going anywhere you leech."

"STOP I MEAN IT BOTH OF YOU!" I shouted over the snarls and growls.

"Humph." Alice sighed and returned to rubbing my back to console me. I was still crying. "Bella, are you ok? Please say something, anything." she said softly.

"Why?"

"Why, because your scaring me that's why."

"No, No why, are you here, why are you back. Do you guys want to torture me some more, like some anniversary from hell?"

"What?" she asked amazed, she looked horrified.

"Your back, which means Edward wasn't my imagination playing tricks on me again, he was really down there, and oh." Realization hit me, I slapped him, I just now noticed how much my hand hurt. It was red. And was starting to swell. "I hit him." I said holding up my hand.

"It'll be ok, he wasn't hurt, hard as rock. Remember?" she smiled slightly. "And as for your hand, it doesn't look broken, but I could have Carlisle look at it to make sure."

"Carlisle?" he was back, Alice was back, Edward was back. "Were all the Cullen's back?" I asked myself, realizing afterward I had said it aloud

"Yes, there back at the house, I, he, you jumped, I saw you jump and you fell into the water and you never came up. I saw , I saw you drown. You never came up, I waited I watched, nothing. You should be dead!." she was ranting "Dead, why are you here, how are you here?"

"I, what?" I asked confused. How did she see me drown? "I was cliff diving. The kids down at La Push do it. And It looked fun, I didn't drown."

"Oh well I mean, I saw you run and then you fell, and then you looked really sad, and then you just jumped. And you never came back up. I got worried, Edward saw, and everyone got worried, I was worried, oh Bella I'm sorry, I should have never came, we should have stayed away, like he promised. He made us promise to stay away, ugh why didn't I listen to him. Why didn't I stop prying. I wasn't even looking for you at the time it just came to me, I saw, I didn't think…"

"Alice, slow down, calm down. I did fall, and I was sad, I am sad, but I didn't do it to kill myself I didn't drown. I fell to hard and knocked my breath out, but Jacob, he pulled me back up, he jumped first before I fell we were going to jump together but I fell and he went first." I was trying to understand. Why did Edward care. Why did any of them care. They left, they left me here! "Why does it matter, what if I DID jump off intending to drown, what would it matter?" I was mad now tears still spilling over. "You left, you left me! You don't care! Why would you? I'm just some mere human after all!" I got up and walked over and collapsed onto my bed. I was angry, I was furious. How dare she, how dare him!

"Bella! Don't you dare think for one minute that I don't care, that I don't care about you. Or that I would throw a party at your death! I was scared, I thought I had lost you when I didn't see you come up for air. So don't you sit there and tell me I don't care! I love you Bella, you're my sister and I love you!"

"HA you love me, but you leave me!"

"I left, because I thought it was what was best for you! We all did, I tried to make him change his mind, we did. But he was set in is ways, he's stubborn you of all people should know that! I tried to tell him it was wrong that you loved him that you were soul mates but he said that it didtn matter, he said we had to do what was best for you, we couldn't keep putting you in harms way."

"Harms way? I was safe with you, I was safe with him, all of you! Made me feel safe! I didn't care! Jasper made a mistake he didn't mean it, it was my fault I should have been more careful. I didn't mean. AH keep me out of harms way? But yet you leave me to Victoria!" I shrieked.

"Victoria? What do you mean?"

"Like you didn't see! She's back, she's back for me, she wants mate for a mate. Edward killed James so she wants to kill me, torture me. Get back at him. Little did she know that I was so disposable. He threw me away like the rest of the trash! That was torture enough." I cried. I couldn't believe her, I shouldn't, but I wanted to. She wanted to stay with me, she didtn want to leave me.

"Oh Bella, please listen to me, he loves you, he did what he thought was right he did what he had to, to keep you safe, if any of us for even for a minute thought Victoria would come looking for you, we wouldn't of left you alone. To survive and put your life in the hands of werewolves! Never in a million years did any of us think you would be in any danger. That was the whole point in leaving. To keep you from danger." She was shaking her head now, she looked mad. "I cant believe this, I told him I knew! I knew you were a danger magnet, I told him you were safe with us, I told I tried, he didn't listen, I told him that it wouldn't work, that you wouldn't be safe. Your never safe, walking across the street your less safe than a two year old! But now he knows best, he's Edward he's always right." She was ranting now. I have never seen her like this. "Oh Bella, I am soooo sorry, please forgive me, I should have looked after you, I should have tried to look for.. But Edward made me promise not to get in it he made me promise not to pry. Not to look, I didn't always listen but I shouldn't have listened at all. I'm so sorry." she cried, and if I wasn't sure before I was positive now, if she could cry, she would drown us both. She placed her hands on my arms. And I turned over on my side to face her.

"I, Alice." I sat up, and put my arms around her neck. I was hugging her, I dint think I would ever see her again, let alone touch her, and now I was hugging her. "Alice, it's ok."

"No its not ok, I shouldn't have been so naive, I wanted to believe it was for the best. Its not ok Bella, but ill make it up to you some how I promise. Ill take you shopping and get you pointless thins you don't need but want."

"It's ok Alice, and you can make it up to me by not taking me shopping." I grinned.

"Oh Bella, I thought you were dead, I am so relieved. Oh, everyone else will be awaiting my call. They will love to see you again Bella, it broke everyone's heart. Including his." I just grinned halfheartedly at her, I don't know if I could forgive him like that. After all it was only after his orders that they left. I didn't know if I was ready to see them all though. I had cried enough for one day. "Alice not .."

"Ah your coming I see it, Esme is going to be thrilled." ok maybe I could cry some more today. I sighed. We just sat there for a while hugging each other. I was the first to break the silence.

"Alice?"

"Yes Bella""

"Why did Edward throw Jacob into the wall, and why did you guys burst my door down?" I was curious, what could possible be the reason behind that if they thought me to be dead.

A/N please review, tell me how I'm doing, and what you think. Or what you think should happen or go on…

I love your input. I'm not only writing this story for me but also for all you readers out there.. And if your idea doesn't fit right with this story hell ill make another one lol…