Chapter 9: The Family
BELLAS POV
"I should get back." I didn't really want to go, but if I stayed much longer I knew I wouldn't be able to keep my distance. He was to god like, gorgeous, beautiful.
"Will you come to the house? I know Esme and everyone, there dying to see you again. It would mean a lot to them." He smiled down at me begging me with his gorgeous topaz eyes to come.
"Sure, I guess so, I can have Alice bring me." How could I say no to a face like that.
"Uh ok, or I could pick you up." He wanted to pick me up, he wanted as much time with me as possible, I could tell by the tone in his voice, he was slightly jealous of Alice.
"Um Alice is waiting in the woods for me. She's far enough away for you not to hear her thoughts and for her not to be able to over hear."
"Oh, ok. Do you want me to take you to her?" He was sad, I didn't want to hurt him, but I couldn't ride in a car with him, and continue to keep my distance. I wanted to trust him I really did. But there was part of me that was screaming he left once.
"Ok, we can walk though." His face dropped. "I think I can only take so much super human speed for one day." I smiled up at him and he grabbed my hand and lead me to the woods. The walk was silent.
EDWARDS POV
She was afraid of me. She didn't want to get near me. I could tell from her eyes. She also was fight her self. Part of her wanted the same thing I did. To be in each others arms, have her warm embrace. Feel her warm cheeks flush. And look into those deep chocolate eyes forever. It was like she didn't trust herself. At least I hoped it was herself. I hoped she trusted me, and believed me. I wouldn't leave her again, ever. No matter what. I vowed to her, and to myself. Never to put her nor myself through that pain again. It was so much worse than pain, worse than death even. I wished for death during that long year. Death would have been heaven compared to that.
We walked through the woods to Alice in silence. I wanted to talk to her, tell her I love her, over and over again. But I didn't want to push my luck. She agreed to come over to see the rest of the family, and me included. She wanted me in her life. That was enough for now. Far more than I deserved. I deserved to be smacked, I deserved for her to yell at me, scream at me tell me leave. Get on my knees and beg for her forgiveness. But she was far to caring of a creature, to ever make me do that. She loved me, she still loved me. That was all that mattered. As long as she still loved me, we could get through this, through it all.
"Alice?" She was laying in the grass singing to herself. She looked bored. Apparently annoyed by not getting her and see what happen between me and Bella.
"Hey Alice, we can go back to my house now, I have to cook dinner for Charlie, and then you can take me to your house to see everyone else." I wanted to pick Bella up and take her back to my house, I wanted as much time with her as possible. The more time the better, being away from her for so long was excruciatingly painful.
"Unless you don't feel like it, I can pick her up if your not up to it." I was hopeful, hopefully Alice would know what I meant, that I wanted to be with Bella, I wanted to bring her to house, pick her up and take her home. I saw Bella's face drop a little. She didn't want me to pick her up, I frowned at Alice. Do I want to do something that is going to make Bella uncomfortable?
'Do you want me to be, busy?' I heard Alice, she was thinking so Bella wouldn't hear, even though she was a very observant person, she probably knew what we were doing. I frowned back at her again and shook my head. I wanted Bella to be comfortable. Me picking her up would not have been comfortable for her, I could tell she wanted Alice to come get her.
"No Edward that's fine, I can bring her, I'd like to see Charlie again." Alice smiled at Bella. And as they got ready to lave.
As much as it hurt to let her go. I was comforted by the fact I was going to see her in a few hours at my house.
BELLAS POV
I didn't even notice I was home until Alice slid me off her back. It was like my mind was somewhere else entirely. Back to Edward in the meadow. The sun sparkling off his god like figure. His cold gently lips against mine. God how I wanted to stay like that forever. But how could I? what if he did leave? I couldn't think about that. He promised me, but he had promised hat before, and went back on it. What was I going to do. I tried to push the entire thing out of my mind. And concentrate on cooking Charlie's dinner. But how much concentration can you give to chicken, baked potatoes and corn? Not enough to distract other thoughts from creeping into your head. Alice sudden movement to the kitchen startled me back to reality.
"Bella?" it was almost a question, I didn't like the look on her face, this wasn't going to go over well.
"Yea Alice."
"Can I talk to you? I mean without upsetting you, I don't mean to I just want to tell you what I think." Hmm. This should be good. But I did need all the advice I could get. What could it hurt?
"Sure Alice, I could use some advice. I'm at a loss." I said glumly.
"Edward's made it plain for everyone to see that he can't exist without you." She sighed. "You might be able to live without him, but he certainly can't manage without you."
I felt angry tears well up in my eyes. I was wrong this could hurt. "Live without him? You didn't see how I was Alice! Charlie thought I was getting deranged and Renee was practically going to drag me out of my room and into a plane with her if I didn't get any better soon! My friends said I was like a zombie and all the while, I felt like my heart was slowly being ripped out." The tears were now flowing freely from my cheeks.
"You may have been like that at first, Bella. But you coped with it and moved and did something. Edward though… He wasn't just making us worry. He frightened us. Even Jasper couldn't read his emotions anymore. It was like he was empty the entire time. There was nothing left. You're doing much, much better at managing." She looked at me sadly. "I saw it. You were joking, laughing with Jacob.
"I love Edward. You know that! And if you don't then your stupid." I was yelling now. How could she think that I was managing? I wasn't managing I was hiding. "I was hiding Alice, I wasn't happy, I was hiding from the pain of it all. I just need time, I love Edward, I want to be with Edward. But Alice, he left me! He left me broken! Its going to take more than a few hours to fix. Its going to take more than a few hours to repair!. I cant just heal my heart like that. I know he promises he wont leave again, but he made that promise before and broke it! How can I trust him now. I cant, I wont go through that pain again. I cant Alice, Please understand, I cant go through it again, I cant let myself get caught up in the love I have for him, unless I'm sure he isn't going to leave again."
"I see he isn't going to leave again Bella."
"Alice! You can be wrong, you have been before! You and I both know you wont see him leaving until he has decided to leave!" I was screaming,
"Bella, please calm down, I didn't want to upset you. I know you love my brother. But Bella, I know he wont leave you again, I saw what it did to him. He wouldn't choose that life again, life without you. And I know he hasn't decided to leave, but I also know he wont decide to leave, and if he does, he wont decide to leave without you."
"How do you know Alice? How do you really know?" I was sobbing now. I thought Alice was seriously mad at me. Any normal person would be, but she just came over and put her arms around me.
"Because Bella, I just do, I know my brother, and I also know I wont let him do that again." she whispered softly.
"You left me once too." I reminded her glumly. She frowned.
"Because I thought it was what was best for you. Edward told us you would be fine, you'd move on. I didn't believe him. I fought against it Bella, we all did. I told him he was stupid. But then he asked us what we would do if something terrible happen to you. If by some chance we couldn't stop it. What would we do. How would we feel. And we all knew we didn't want it to come to that. We all love you to much." I knew what she said was true, I could see her now, fighting with Edward telling him he was stupid for even considering it. But then I could also see Edward, doing and saying anything to get them to agree with him. No matter how horrible the thought was. Like my death for instance. They all thought they were doing me a favor. Little did they know they were allowing my life to be taken.
"You sure you want Charlie to know were back now?" Alice asked me, I can hear the worry in her voice. Did she know something I didn't?
"Uh yea, it's a better time than any. He's going to have to find out eventually. And if I'm to go to your house he is going to want to know where I'm going."
"Ok, because I hear him coming." She stated matter a fact. Sure enough I heard Charlie's cruiser doors slam shut. I almost felt like fainting, when I heard the door open.
"Bells?"
"Yea dad, in here." My voice was shaky, I just hoped he didn't hear it.
"Dinner smells great Bells!"
"Thanks dad." I said as he walked through the kitchen and froze. His eyes got wild looking when he saw Alice sitting in the chair at the table, my empty plate in front of her.
"Uh, I, Hi Alice."
"Hello Charlie." he didn't look pleased, he looked shocked, scared. I doubt it was because Alice. He was scared that with Alice, came Edward.
"It's good to see you Hun." Charlie said as he came forward and gave Alice a little hug. So far so good. Now all I had to do was tell him the rest of the Cullen's were back , and I was going over to see them. Including Edward.
"Thank you Charlie its good to see you too. How have you been." Alice smiled. He was putty in her hands. Charlie grabbed his plate and walked into the living room with Alice, still talking. I hurriedly cleaned up the dishes, and the kitchen. Making sure it was spotless. So Charlie couldn't have an excuse not to let me go. Charlie came back in and handed me his dirty plate. I tried not to make eye contact with him, but he continued to stand there looking at me. I finally gave up, I looked up at him meeting his gaze. He continued to look at me. He looked puzzled, confused, wary. It was almost as if he was looking at me for a sign of weakness, like I was about to break down. Turn into the lifeless form he once knew me to be. I smiled up at him. As I turned back to clean of his dish. I heard him turn and leave the room.
I walked into the living room, and heard them talking about the game that was on TV. How Alice knew anything about it, astounded me. But I let it go. I walked over and sat down next to Charlie on the couch. And sighed. I had to tell him we were leaving now, to go see the rest of the Cullen's.
"Dad." I paused, how to word this so he wont freak out. "I'm going to go with Alice. Back to her house to see Esme and Carlisle." I figured leave Edward and everyone else out. Mention of Alice's parents would go over better than 'I'm going to see Edward and everyone else.' I figured the less he knew right now the better.
"Bella, I, uh." He looked over at Alice, she continued to smile as she looked up at him. "I, uh ok. Just don't be out to late." Oh my god, he agreed, no fight. I went upstairs to grab my jacket and came back downstairs and Alice was at the door. Telling Charlie she would see him later.
"Bella. Can I talk to you for a minute. In private." He looked at Alice she nodded her head and walked outside and shut the door. Ugh this wasn't going to be good. We were so close.
"Yes dad?"
"Bella, I don't think this is a good idea. What if, I mean. You know.. He mit…"
"Edward will be there, there's no might about it. There all back and there staying." I cut him off, I was annoyed.
"Bella."
"Dad." He finally sighed and opened the door for me.
"Just be careful Bella, remember what happen last time."
"Dad, you don't know everything. And I haven't forgotten. Ill be home later." I shut the door behind me not letting him to say anything in reply. He didn't know everything, if he did he defiantly wouldn't let me go. Hell if I told him the truth, he'd have me locked up in a rubber room. "Ready to go Alice?" I smiled up at her. I was as ready as I would ever be.
We arrived, and I just stood outside. Staring at there old house. I remembered the last time I was here. It looked like a ghost house. You figured it would be creepy with vampires living in it. But it was as far from creepy. It was more stunning than I remembered. I sighed as I stood there looking at the door. Not really wanting to move.
Alice put her hand on the small of my back. As we walked toward the door. It swung open and Esme came rushing out, down the stairs into the yard, embracing me in a huge hug. I hugged her back. I smiled up at her. As Carlisle came out and smiled down at me as he put his arm on my shoulder. I glanced up at him. And the next thing I know I was being swung around like a rag doll. And breath knocked out of me. I looked up and smiled.
"Emmet, Emmet.. Can't.. Breath." He just laughed his booming laugh and placed me on my feet. I almost tumbled over. Which made him laugh even more as he caught me by the arm. I smiled up at him as I tried to catch my breath,
"Ah we missed your corky human self." he replied with another laugh.
"Uh thanks, I think." out of the corner of my eye I saw Rosalie frown as Emmet walked over to her. She still hated me, and I had still had no idea why. But I smiled at her any way.
I turned and saw Jasper eyeing me carefully. I smiled at him. Why did he look scared. And why was Alice frowning? Had I done something wrong? And then It dawned on me. Edwards making everyone leave was an aftermath of the fact he tried to attack me. He must feel guilty. I walked slowly over to stand in front of him. Finally I hugged him. He tensed up. I didn't know if I should have hugged him or not, maybe he was fighting the urge to drain me dry again. But I saw Alice smiling. Finally he put his arms around me. And sighed.
"Bella, I."
"No, don't you dare. It's not your fault." I said weakly trying to make him understand that I didn't blame him.
"It's not yours either." Damn him and his empathy. He must have sensed that it wasn't him I blamed it was me. If I hadn't of cut my finger none of this would have ever happen. I just continued to smile up at him. We finally stepped away from each other and I saw Edward standing in the door way smiling weakly at us.
I wanted to race up the stairs, run into his arms grab him and never let go. I fought the urge. Instead I smiled at him. He smiled back, but it didn't touch his eyes. Something was bothering him. Of course something was bothering him I thought. I mean I just denied him the reunion he really wanted. The reunion I really wanted in the meadow. I told him I couldn't do it again. That I was afraid he would leave me again. Of course he wouldn't be happy.
We all walked inside and I was amazed. It looked exactly as it had a year ago.
We sat down in the living room and talked. I asked them how there old home had been, they all replied the same, they didn't like it, it wasn't home. Forks, now this was home. They told me Carlisle got his job back, the hospital welcomed him with open arms. The school allowed them to return to school. At least the ones that weren't suppose to graduate yet. That left Edward and Alice. I didn't want to ask what class they had. I think I already knew the answer. When Alice told me they were welcome back at school. I saw from the corner of my eye Edward had got a big grin on his face but when I had looked up at him, it was suddenly gone. Wiped clean.
We were finished talking and Carlisle and Esme had went upstairs. Rosalie I assume as in her room. Emmet and Jasper were playing a game. I watched intently, even though I had no idea who was who, or what was going on. It was racing game, that's all I knew. And that Edward had beaten Emmet, and refused him a rematch so Jasper took over. I looked away from the TV and saw Edward was staring at me. I tried to look away, but I wasn't fast enough. I felt my face flush red. I could have sworn I heard him suppress a laugh but I couldn't be sure.
"Bella?" I heard Carlisle call me from the top of the stairs. I glanced up.
"Yes?"
"Would you come here for a minute I want to show you something in my study."
"Ok." I got up and walked upstairs to the study.
"I didn't really want to show you something, but I also didn't want the others prying and trying to listen." He wanted to talk. About what I didn't know.
I sighed "Ok, what is it then?"
"I heard that you have befriended werewolves?"
"Yes, Jacob Black and the rest down at La Push." Was he going to try to forbid me from seeing them? I knew they were enemies but I was in the middle. It would have been a war, if it hadn't been for the treaty.
"Well as you might know we have a treaty with them. No harm from either sides. But you also know, both sides want to get Victoria. As I assume they are tracking her right now, but are having a hard time, same as myself, Emmet and Jasper. You see, she keeps running along the boundary line. When we get close to her, she goes across. And we can not follow her unless we want to break that treaty."
"Ok, I know that, well except for the fact that you guys were after her as well." I didn't like the idea of any of them going after her. Victoria was lethal. She as vicious. What if something happen to them. I knew they didn't care what happen to one another but I did.
"I was wondering if you would be able ask your friend, Jacob, or any of them if they have had any trace of her recently. We haven't sensed anything on our side."
"Sure, I can ask them next time talk to them. But she does that often. She would come and tease them a bit, testing herself. Trying to find a way in, a way to me. And then all of a sudden she would disappear again. Sometimes for weeks on end."
"Ah I see, but with us here, I doubt she will go far this time."
Carlisle was worried about me, he wanted me to be safe. He told me that someone would be looking after me and Charlie at all times. And Alice was on full alert for any special visions.
I walked back downstairs, but Edward and Alice were missing. I walked toward the kitchen and I heard them talking. I didn't want to listen, but it was very tempting. So I figured a little wouldn't hurt.
"Can I do nothing right Alice?" I heard Edward. His voice seemed uneasy. "I left to keep her safe, and instead she gets stuck with werewolves. And its … "
"It's not your fault you know." Alice cut him off.
"I thought I was the mind reader," He said to her grumpily.
"You are, but I know you to well. Its not your fault. You couldn't of known what you were leaving her with."
"I should have just listened to you. I'm Sorry Alice." He apologized for not listening to her when she said not to leave. I felt bad, he blamed himself for it all. It wasn't his fault he honestly thought he was doing what was right.
"Yes, you should have listened. But its still not your fault. Edward, she will forgive you, she already does, its just. She's afraid. She doesn't want to go through that pain again, and I know you don't either. But she's afraid. Just give her time, I see it. You two will be back to normal soon. She loves you." I decided I had heard enough and backed up and started walking loudly into the kitchen. I smiled as they both looked at me.
"Hey."
"Hey Bella, uh where's Jasper?"
"Out there with Emmet."
"Ok ill be, right back." and she strolled right out the kitchen, leaving me with Edward.
A/N: hows it coming so far? tell me what you like, what you dont like. what you want to see happen.
i might have chapter 10 up today, most likely i will. so look foward to chapter 10.