Edward.
I let out a shaky breath as my eyes studied the all too familiar piece of jewelry that was hinged between my fingers. I had spent many nights staring at it, memorizing the way every diamond in the oval reflected the sunlight. This small ring was one of the only objects I had left from my human life. Though I treasured it immensely, it didn't belong to me. It didn't belong to be in my grasp right now. There was only one place it should be.
And that was upon Bella's hand.
I had planned to give it to her awhile ago, before this entire catastrophe began. I was going to retreat to one knee, and recite a paragraph full of cheesy, but meaningful words that would let Bella know even a fraction of how I feel for her. I was certain that she would make it difficult, and probably be overwhelmed with silly and unnecessary embarrassment, but it was something that I needed to do.
I just wasn't sure how I could do it now.
Of course, I know that Bella loves me. But the pessimism was eating away at me, the guilt pushing it forward every time I even glanced at her. I had left her. And even though I think her choice was rash, hasty and not the smartest, it washer decision, and I had let go of that grudge long ago. But I didn't see how it was possible for her to forgive me. She endured the hardest part of vampirism, the first few weeks, without me. Sure, she had the family, but it wasn't the same. I knew how much she needed me. I knew the damage I had inflicted the last time I broke my word and left. Yet, I had managed to do it again. I just didn't see how she would say yes to my marriage proposal now.
I didn't know how much longer I could keep my distance with her. It wasn't right for us to be so apart, and though hurting a vampire is very difficult to do, I would be lying if I said I wasn't in pain right now. The aching in my chest, where my dead, shriveled up heart lay increased every second. I couldn't bare being in the same house with Bella, and not being close to her.
Especially after Alice's vision. I didn't know whose decision would change the outcome, but I was extremely paranoid. She wanted to train, to ready herself if the vision actually comes true. Of course, I refused. It was my nature. I didn't want to believe that Bella was in danger, but I knew she was. Even if the vision didn't happen, that wouldn't be the last of Victoria. She was a continuous force, a constant nuisance in my life. Bella was obviously her target, and being James's mate, I didn't doubt for one second that she wasn't as stealthy and lethal as he was.
Bella was strong, and I knew that would help her in the long run. Yet, I was still apprehensive. Victoria was wise, and very skillful. Bella's strength wouldn't overcome that, and it frightened me. So the sensible solution would be to have her trained and ready. It was the right thing, I knew it was, but I didn't know if I could do that. Watching her prepare herself for that would be ridiculously difficult for me.
"Bella! Come on, that hurts!" Alice's shrill voice rang loudly throughout the house. It is possible to express your feelings without physical violence. Damn. I chuckled at the mental image of Bella punching Alice's forearm. She wasn't quite grasping the concept of how strong she really was. She was used to playfully punching all of us, expecting nothing but the pain of her own fingers as they hit our rock hard arms. But I think we've all experienced one of Bella's punches now, and we were all wary of our sarcastic comments around her.
"Oops! Sorry, Alice. It's really weird now. Whenever one of you yelps in pain, I always look around for the culprit. Guess it's easy to forget that I'm that strong, and .." Bella droned, and I stifled a laugh at Alice's thoughts. She was never this talkative as a human. I reached across the dresser, for the small black velvet box that was home to Bella's ring. I'm kind of missing the silence and-
I froze, dropping the box to the floor. Immediately, my own eyes closed as Alice's vision painted a clear picture in my thoughts.
Charlie was walking up to the front door, knocking three times. He was donning his police jacket, and his regular uniform, except his face was scruffy and unshaven. His hair was untidy and was an array of mess on the top of his head. The door swung open, revealing a frowning Carlisle. A few short seconds later, a loud growl was heard.
I gasped, and jumped to my feet. Alice met me by the door, followed by a confused and frantic Bella.
"How much time? I have to get Bella out of here!" I exclaimed loudly, reaching behind her to grasp Bella's arm gently. She was staring back and fourth between us, wide-eyed. Alice shook her head frantically.
"No, there's no-" Three sharp knocks were heard from downstairs. "Time." I pulled Bella further down the hall at my quickest speed, but it wasn't fast enough. Charlie? What is he doing here? Oh, no. This isn't good. Edward, keep her restrained! I'll try my best to get rid of him. I gasped once more, as Bella stopped suddenly. She stiffened, her nostrils flaring. I watched in fear as the small glaze of topaz that colored her dark eyes disappeared, moving to a deep onyx color. I locked both arms around her as tight as I could. She inhaled, and snapped her head toward the staircase. I felt it moving up her body, to her throat before it actually escape.
A loud, terrifying snarl.
I couldn't open my mouth to call for the others to help, without risking Charlie hearing me. Instead, I waited for Bella's growl to shake them up. Rosalie and Emmett's door flew open, and they flew out. Bella was now struggling against my hold, thrashing in my arms. I winced every time her claws came into contact with the skin on my arm.
"Charlie is downstairs," I whispered as quickly and quietly as I could. Rosalie froze, her eyes widening. So that's what the smell is. I threw her a frantic, pleading glare, and she nodded. She lowered herself to the floor, and wrapped both of her arms around Bella's ankles. She kicked hard, and I gasped as Bella's foot came into contact with Rosalie's shoulder. Emmett hissed loudly.
"Em, I'm fine. Just grab her around the middle!" Rosalie ushered quietly. Emmett shut his mouth, and nodded. He threw Bella a hearty glance, before clutching her around the middle. I groaned as she continued to move rapidly through our locks. This was exactly what I wanted to avoid. This was what made us monsters.
Alice and Jasper appeared at my door, and I nodded my head toward it. Jasper nodded, understanding my gesture. He opened it, holding it steady while Bella continued to attempt to kick her feet free from Rose's grip. Rosalie was struggling, accidentally allowing an ankle to get free, and it slammed against the door loudly. I winced, and pushed Bella further into the room. All of us entered, and without a second delay, closed and locked it.
"Bella, please, calm down! You don't want that human, you don't want it!" I chanted, grabbing her snarling face with both of my hands. She growled at me, throwing her head back to struggle against Jasper's grasp. I moved toward the door, listening to what was happening.
"I was just passing by, I saw your house. I- I wanted to see how you were all holding up. How is Edward doing?" Charlie asked, his voice sounding miserable and gruff. I heard Esme sniffle, and Carlisle sigh.
"Not very good. He refuses to return to Forks. I hate to say, but by the end of this month, we'll be moving to Alaska. That is where Edward is staying at the moment," Carlisle explained.
"He's taking it that hard?" Charlie's voice was skeptical, and I was almost offended. Of course I would take it hard.
"Oh, of course. Bella was Edward's world. She was the most important person to him. This is very, very difficult for him. He's devastated. Not to mention he feels as if it's his fault."
"His fault? Why would he think that?"
"It was their argument that pushed her to run. He feels as if he caused her to run into the forest. He's too heart-broken and ashamed to show his face around here," Esme announced, giving a loud sigh. I listened as Charlie took a deep breath, and I could hear the deep gulp. There was movement, and I knew that Carlisle and Esme were going to ask him to leave.
"You let Edward know that this isn't his fault. If he ever wants to stop by, maybe take something as a memory of Bella, he's more than welcome to." I was shocked. I blinked twice, trying to swallow it down. He didn't blame me or this? I was positive that Charlie held nothing but negative feelings toward me after returning home from Italy. I never believed he would be sympathetic of me.
"Yes, of course. Thank you so much, Charlie. We have to continue packing. But, we'll keep in touch. Bella is a part of our family as well, we know how hard it is," Carlisle said, and they shuffled towards the door. I heard it open. I had to smile as his use of words. Instead of saying Bella was, he said Bella is.
"No!" Alice gasped loudly from behind me. I didn't have time to turn around before Bella was pushing past me, exiting the room as quickly as she could. I jumped forward, racing to follow her down the hallway. I met her at the top of the staircase, and grabbed her from around the middle. I yanked her back, holding her closely to my chest. But I noticed she was no longer struggling and thrashing. I looked down at her face.
Her black eyes were wide as they stared down. I followed her gaze, and gulped, noticing that we had a clear view of Charlie at the front door. He was wiping tears with the sleeve of his jacket. We watched as Esme engulfed him in a hug, faking more realistic sniffles as she rubbed his back affectionately. Bella was whimpering in my arms, her bottom lip trembling. I moved my mouth to her ear.
"Shh, be calm," I whispered. She tensed, and I was amazed.
She was so much closer to Charlie. She was so close, that one sprint, one long jump down the staircase and she could easily have her prey. It would be so easy for her to kill him, but she was calm. She made no movement as she allowed me to hold her easily at the top of the staircase. I kept my gaze strictly upon her awe-struck face. I heard the door close, and Esme and Carlisle whipped their heads up at us.
"Is she okay?" Esme asked, taking a step forward. I shook my head, and looked down at her. Her eyes were closed, her fists tight against her sides. I moved my hand to her head, letting my long fingers trace the contours of her face.
"Charlie," she whispered, her voice low but astonished. I waited for the break-down. I waited for her to begin sobbing into my chest as she had done just a few days ago. I knew she would beat herself up over this. She would consider herself a monster for wanting to take Charlie's life. She would finally begin to realize what torture this curse really was.
But it never came. Instead, I was surprised to find a small smile.
"I .. I didn't kill him. I did it," she whispered again. I couldn't help but smile, even though the shock of her actions was making it difficult to form any coherent thoughts. I had said it before, and I will continue to say it. Bella was not a predictable creature. She continued to surprise me. I leaned down, and pressed my lips to her soft cheek. Her grin grew wider.
"I can't believe I was that strong!" she exclaimed, and I could hear the pride in her voice. I couldn't help but let out a relieved laugh. The door opened from down the hall, and I heard their footsteps approaching. Rosalie groaned.
"I'll say," she muttered, rubbing her shoulder tenderly. Bella gasped, jumping forward. She reached an arm out to touch it, but Rosalie moved away quickly, settling herself behind Emmett.
"I'm fine, seriously! I was just kidding!" I'll just steer clear of physical contact from her for awhile .
"I'm sorry, Rose!" she mumbled, giving her an apologetic glance.
Bella.
Carlisle and Esme sat me down and explained what happened with Charlie. Apparently, he was sent over this way to search for a stolen car, and saw the house. He wanted to see how the Edward and the rest of the family was holding up. Esme recited their conversation, but I knew she was editing to keep me calm. Though I was a bit disoriented through his visit, I knew it had actually upset Esme somewhat. I could hear it in her voice.
I was elated with myself that I held the restraint to resist Charlie's blood. It was the best feeling in the world, knowing that I overcame something that was supposed to be impossibly difficult, especially as a newborn. Though I was happy, I was also very upset. Seeing Charlie again wasn't something that I needed, no matter how much I wanted it. Seeing those lone tears fall down his face, because of me, was incredibly painful.
On instinct, I'd admit that my first reaction after Charlie left was to cry. I wanted nothing more than to bury my face into Edward's comfortable shoulder, and release every amount of despair I held for Charlie. But my pride wouldn't allow me to do so.
I've only been thinking of myself lately. It's just been about my own emotions, my own feelings, just me. I wasn't taking in account of the others. They were probably fed up with the crying, weeping vampire who sulked around all day. All I had been doing lately is crying. That was never me. As a human, I was very self-conscious. It took a lot for me to actually cry in front of other people. But now, it was a daily thing. And I wanted it to stop.
Things with Edward were getting better. I was falling back into my happy place. But every time I let that content feeling take me over, I found any excuse I could to bring it back down. I was looking for any excuse to remain unhappy, and that was not only extremely childish and foolish, but selfish at the same time. I had to think about my family. This was most likely frustrating to them. Especially Jasper.
So after my conversation with Carlisle and Esme, I had made up my mind. I was going to start making myself happy. I was going to take the steps. I was going to push myself to get better, and I knew exactly where to start. Gripping Edward's hand, I pulled him into the room and shut the door behind me. He looked confused, but watched as I took my place nervously in front of him.
"I'm sick of being sad," I murmured. He nodded.
"As am I."
"Well, let's fix that."
His eyebrow raised, and he opened his mouth to question my statement, but I was already moving forward. Slinging my arm around his neck, I pulled his face down to meet mine, and crashed my own lips against his.
Sorry for the delay! Things have been pretty crazy around here. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I was actually thinking of doing something, and maybe you could give your opinion? It'll be somewhat of a website, just like others have, with some things from my stories. I've already used my photoshopping skills to create Bella's heart-shaped crest, so that would be featured, as well as other things. Would that be something that would interest you? Let me know! But thank you so much for your reviews! I'm excited that I'm passing the 100 mark, so keep it up!