Thank you for the people... err person that reveiwed :D
SOMEONE PLEASE REVEIW
it keeps me writing :)
contructive critcism appreciated
please!!
*breaks down in tears*
onward to the story
Someone was shaking my foot.
How rude.
"Go away" I mumbled into my pillow. Thank god I didn't have that stupid headache anymore, But He wouldn't stop.
"okay, okay I'm up" I getting up and yawning whilst cracking my back. I looked at him and he was crouched down packing up.
"Uh thanks for saving my life by the way. But could you tell me where I am? I woke up and I had no idea where I was, do you have a cell I can use or something?"
I then walked over to him and tapped his shoulder. He turned around , I then gasped in shock… it couldn't be Boromir, he was fictional for god sakes.
"Wow did anyone tell you that you look like Boromir? Is that why you dress like him?" I said in a bewildered voice. He then looked at me strangely
"I am sorry but I do not speak your tongue, and yes my name is Boromir. What is your name?"
Okay. That went well. But being the nerd I am I understood a little common "Hannah" i said pointing to myself. He smiled at me and pointed to himself "Boromir" and then pointed to me "Hannah". I smiled and nodded.
Okay this guy was taking the lord of the rings thing a little too far. It was scary how everything was so alike to lord of the rings though . "Yo dude talk normally okay I mean it's cool how your so fluent with that language and everything but this is serious I need to find a phone." he then looked at me again. He then said in a serious tone
"I don't understand what you are saying Hannah" I then rolled my eyes and started to get impatient with him
"Me-lost-find-phone-" I said very simply, emphasizing every single word sarcastically. He then looked at me confused again he gestured to the mouth and moved his hands meaning no. I groaned and then started to get flustered with him. This guy seriously needs to stop living in a fantasy world
"Look I understand you look like.. Identical to Boromir and you have the whole air to the steward of Gondor shit going on, I mean that's totally fine with me. But just please speak English?" I said raising my voice in an annoyed and agitated tone
He then raised his eyebrow "For the second time I do not speak your language." he said in a patronizing tone.
"You are the most stupid asshole I have ever met, are you the offspring of family inbreeding?" I said in a happy tone smiling.
He then just smiled at me and continued to pack away his uh lord of the ring props? Okay something was defiantly wrong here. Either he is a very good actor.. Or he has no clue what I just said to him. I then picked of a map off the floor and looked at it, Middle earth map of course. Wait where was he taking me?
"Uh Boromir where are we going?" I said showing him the map, he pointed to Rivendell. I then smiled at him with pity. Poor guy is so obsessed with LOTR he thinks Rivendell is real. I then I felt a tug at my bladder..
"umm boromirineedtogotothebathroom" I said looking down. He gave me the "I don't understand look" that I think I will be getting often.
I then sighed and pointed to the bushes he paused for a second then laughed and nodded. Once I did my business, no I will not tell you the details about it i walked up to him and saw that all his belongings where packed away and he was there patting his Horse. I then smiled at the display of "manly horse loving friendship" and he turned around to speak to me.
"You will have to ride with me on my horse Lady Hannah" He then mounted his horse and reached out his hand. But I couldn't help notice there was something missing. Something I brought with me.
"I need my pillow!" I said running and grabbing it off the dirt floor. He then gave me a "wowyourretarded look"and then helped me mount the horse.
3 days later
Boromir's pov
It was official, he was going mad. At first Hannah was tolerable but then she got worse and worse and worse. All day she talked, she never stopped. Not to mention that she complains at every available moment. Her complaints usually consisted something about this "fone". She got prissy at any available moment. For an elf she was so
Annoying
He then reassured himself in his mind that it was only two more days before he could dump her off on Lord Elrond and relax. And actually listen to quiet for once and not just the incessant and meaningless chatter and complaints from Hannah.
Normal pov
Wow I Never new that men could PMS. But I guess there is a first for everything eh? I swear Boromir has a mangina, Well he at least acts like he has one. For a dude he can act like a 13 year old girl before her period.
It's currently day 3 on perilous journey and I actually can't wait till he tries to pull off Rivendell, maybe it will mysteriously disappear? I giggled when I imagined him with a mock look of sadness and confusion upon his face "but but it was right here… I … I swear it." kneeling on the floor weeping, he then looked back at me with disapproval at my giggle.
I have officially decided that the hired the actors and this is a game show of some sort. Hey I got to believe in something right? He is selling his role so well that I'm starting to believe that he is Boromir in a way. He never ever speaks English, he seems pretty good with the nature stuff and he hunts pretty well too. Oh and did I mention he has a real sword? I mean the guy is crazy! I almost cut my hand off with that damn thing whilst trying to reveal it wasn't real.
"Hey Brommy" he visibly twitched at the name "where do you get all your bad-ass lord of the rings attire?" He just ignored me and kept on riding.
"Uh hello?" So I asked the question again
"Where do you get all your bad-ass lord of the rings attire?" ingnore
"Where do you get all your bad-ass lord of the rings attire?" grunt
"Where do you get all your bad-ass lord of the rings attire?" groan
"where do you get all your bad-ass lord of the rings attire?"
"I DO NOT KNOW A WORD YOU ARE SAYING SO FOR PITYS SAKE SHUT YOUR MOUTH!!!"
Pause.
"Where do you get all your bad-ass lord of the rings attire?" He then made this long angry gurgle of sound 's that sounded like Grraaaafffffffgaggggggggaaaahhhhhrrrr.
And then from all the emotional stress he had been through, he started to cry… Just kidding, you don't think a manly man and hero like Boromir would cry would you? Hannah thought she had annoyed Boromir enough, for now *evil smile* so she imagined in her head the lord of the rings in unimaginable situations.
Gandalf runs into the room where Frodo and Aragon are talking to each other.
"No it cant be.." Gandalf said to himself.
Aragon then looked at Gandalf "hello..father" Aragon said looking at Gandalf with distaste
Frodo then looked at his hairy feet nervously and slowly made his way to the door "Uh I would love to stay guy's but I have a ring of doom to be destroyed an-"
But Gandalf interrupted him and blocked him from the doorway "did our forbidden love mean nothing to you Frodo?" he said sobbing and crying
Aragon then looked at Gandalf in disgust " YOU WANTED FRODO TO HAVE THE ABORTION GANDALF!!" he then said also quietly sobbing.
Everyone was crying so Frodo thought he should too to seem like he actually cared.
Boromir then ran into the room and said with joy "GOOD NEWS EVERYONE" they all then stopped sobbing and looked at him expectantly "I AM YOUR FATHER ARAGON" but secretly behind the door Legolas was listening
"Oh shit" Frodo thought as he tried to make his way towards any exit possible.
"YOU BASTARD!" Legolas said in a girly squeal and revealing himself in a blue dress and bright red lipstick. He stormed over to boromir then bitch slapped Boromir and ran out of the room like a damsel in distress crying.
Gimli then randomly ran through the scene crying also because he had a mayjor guy-crush also known as a "grush" on Legolas.
I then couldn't help myself but crack up right there, leave it to me to make All of the fellowship homosexual and Legolas a cross dresser.
Maybe i should make that a story one day..
It would be called...
The adventures of Gandalf the Gay!
I smiled at the worthy title of my new story i should make.
I then decided to break the silence with a song from queen
Tonight Im gonna have myself a real good time
I feel alive
and the world turning inside out yeah!
And floating around in ecstasy
So dont stop me now dont stop me now
cause Im having a good time having a good time
Im a shooting star leaping through the sky
Like a tiger defying the laws of gravity
Im a racing car passing by like lady godiva
Im gonna go go go
Theres no stopping me
Boromir then cringed at my off key singing.
burning through the sky yeah!
Two hundred degrees
Thats why they call me mister fahrenheitIm travling at the speed of light
I wanna make a supersonic man out of you
Dont stop me now Im having such a good timeIm having a ball dont stop me now
If you wanna have a good time just give me a call
"BE QUIET" Boromir shouted his hands over his ears. There was silence.
"Well you're a joy kill Boromir" I said in a matter of fact tone.
Brommy just growled in reply. Wait. He growled.
"WHAT THE FUCK!? DID YOU JUST GROWL!?" I said in a deliberately overly loud voice screaming into his ear, he then cupped his ear and gave me the evil Boromir eye.
Well It has been about two hours since the "break into song incident" and making the whole fellowship homosexuals just didn't appeal to me anymore. I then set my eye on a weird little horn thingy that was hoisted on the side of the saddle.
I broke out into fan girl moment "WOW an actual replica of the horn of Gondor"…" does it work?"
I silently grabbed the horn and I blew it and yes it did work. And Brommy wasn't that happy.
"DO YOU WANT TO ATTRACT EVERY ORC IN MIDDLE EARTH!?" he said in a panicked tone. The only thing I got from that sentence was orc. Wait were not going to see actor orcs are we?
I laughed at the thought And then grabbed my security pillow that I dubbed Donny tighter. Wow that was a scary thought to see real orcs.
Suddenly the horse went into a gallop and i steadied myself by holding onto Boromir's waist. "WOAH" I said "WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA BROMMY!? LISTEN I KNOW YOUR STILL MAD ABOUT THE HORN THING BUT STOP GALLOPING OKAY YOUR GOING TO KILL-" and then very ironically an arrow flew past my head.
Wait an arrow? This isn't real right? But the scene I saw before me was very very real. There where about 10 very realistic orcs that just happend to be holding bows and swords.
Either they where way to obsessed with their role or they where genuinely trying to kill us.
Another arrow flew past my head, barley missing me.
Okay.
This was now definitely real.