Chapter 11: Stay

Ugh. I sighed as plopped myself on the bed. This has been one of the longest days of my life. First I almost drown with Jacob, he kisses me. The Cullen's are back. Edward and Alice find out Jacob is a werewolf and so are about half a dozen other boys from La Push. I break Jacobs heart. Edwards trying to heal mine. Ugh one long day. And I had a feeling tomorrow wouldn't be much better. On top of it being a school day, I still had a lot of un answered questions, and I'm pretty sure I had a lot of answers to give. The only upside would be that Edward and Alice would be there. I wondered how the rest of the school would take to the fact that the Cullen's were back. And I was with Edward once again. I sighed. Tonight would be a long night, I finally get Edward back in my life. I didn't want to be with out him a minute longer. But he had went home.

It was like a light bulb snapped on in my head. 'Someone will be watching you.' I just hoped it would be the some one I wanted.

I ran to my window tripping as I jumped of the bed. I wrenched the window open and stuck my head outside.

Wow all that talking and arguing I hadn't realized how late it was. I turned to look at my clock it was after ten. I looked back out side and squinted trying to search in the dark. For any sign of movement, a blur, a shadow. Anything to give a me a sign that someone is out there. I sighed as I turned around and slid to a sitting position on my floor under the window.

"Looking for someone in particular?" I jumped at the sound to hear Edward chuckle under his breath. I looked up. To that gorgeous god creature standing before me. With the crooked smile that made me weak.

"No, no one in particular." I grinned. He laughed

"So, how was your talk with Jacob."

"Like you didn't already hear." I assumed he was the reason Jacob was looking around before.

"Yes, but its still polite to ask." I looked at his face. What was he smiling about.

"What?" I asked. He was making me nervous.

"Nothing, I just like what Jacob was plotting to do, to make you, well, change your mind."

"What was he planning on doing?" I was curious now. And a little worried.

"I don't know if its my place to share. But you wouldn't of liked any of them." He stated with a grin on his face, he was amused. To bad I didn't find it so amusing. I found it rather annoying.

"Just tell me already!"

"Well there was more than one idea that ran through his head. kidnapping you for a day to show you how much he 'loved' you." he did the quotes in the air with his fingers and rolled his eyes. He looked jealous, and I was loving seeing this side of him, he was annoyed just like me, but for different reasons. "against your own will I might add.. Running us out of the state for good, that would have actually been quit funny to see, I don't know how he would have done it. But all it would have done was force me to take you away from him for good." he smiled at me. I knew that meant he would take me with him if Jacob even tried. I was comforted by that fact. "And then there was a confusing one, where he was going to set me up, and make it look like, well, I don't really know what. But he was trying to set me up as the bad guy." He rolled his eyes again.

"Was that so difficult?"

"No, but the mongrel seriously needs to be a little creative, he has no imagination. Sorry, Jacob." I smiled he remembered I didn't like it when they called each other names.

"Thank you." I whispered.

"Your welcome Bella, I would do anything for you." He leaned down and kissed my forehead. "I am going to respect your decision on needing time. Just please tell me when you no longer need it." He looked down and put his hand on my cheek, and slowly rubbed it with his fingers. There was a sense of longing in his eyes.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I, I should get back out there." He started to walk toward the window. I didn't want him to leave, I wanted I'm to stay, or did I? No that would be bad. But, I wanted it so I didn't care.

"Edward." He turned to face me again. His eyes narrowed. "Please. Stay." I said the words separately making them each stand out. I needed him to stay, I lived so many nights alone, longing for him to be there next to me. And I wasn't about to pass up the chance to have him there.

"But, Bella, I'm doing what you asked I'm giving you time." He was confused, so was I to honest. I did need time, I think. Or was it I just wanted time. Time to be sure he was serious, be sure he wanted me forever, be sure that he would stay. Forever.

"Times up." I smiled up at him. It was the only thing I could think to say. I didn't know how to explain myself without hurting him. Time, I wanted time to be sure. But I didn't need time. I needed him.

Suddenly he was standing directly in front of me. He moved fast, to fast for a human anyway. He was so close I could touch him. I could smell his breath, I could feel it on my face. I flushed. I was beginning to get weak. And suddenly again to fast to notice any movement at all. His lips were on mine. I was in the air in his arms, he was carrying me to the bed. He placed me gently on my back.

He moved to fast for me to realize how, but he was suddenly laying next to me. Lips still on mine. They had never left, after all the moving they had never left mine. Cool, hard gently lips moving simultaneously with mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck. And slowly ran my fingers through his hair, As I gasped for air. Again his lips never left my body. Moved from lips to my cheek. And to my neck. I felt his cool breath on my throat. He kissed my neck and down to my collarbone. It sent chills up my spine, but it wasn't from the cold. I was having a hard time concentrating. I forgot to breath more than once. I was getting dizzy. He traced his lips down my chin, and found my lips again.

This was far, far more than he allowed. Than he had ever allowed. I didn't want to ruin it. And have him pull away abruptly. Just as fast as he had began. But I couldn't help myself. I let my hands drop from around his neck. And slowly traced his neck to the front of his shirt. I ran my fingers down the middle of his chest, to his waist. I slid my fingers up and around his waist to his back. I felt a small part of his bare back. I followed it up lifting his shirt even higher. He sighed.

"Bella." He groaned. And rolled over onto his back. I sighed, and. realized just how out of breath I really was. We laid there for a few moments, trying to catch our breath. And me trying to slow my heart down. It was doing car wheels.

EDWARDS POV

If I had a heart, it would have jumped out of my chest, I was breathing so deeply. I didn't even know why, I didn't need to breath. It was just the only thing I could think to do. That was amazing. But I had to stop. couldn't continue without loosing myself completely. And that would have been a bad idea. I could have hurt her.

"Sorry." She sighed. What could she possible be sorry for. That was incredible, it confused me. Did people normally apologize for things like that.

"For what?" I breathed deep.

"That, I know, I shouldn't have."

"Bella, don't, please, that was, terrific, better than that. I just." I pushed my self up to look at her.

"I know I know. Self control, and your lack there of." She was annoyed. Hell so was I. I wish I could just let go. Let go of everything, but then she would get hurt, and I would never be able to live with myself if something happen to her, especially by my own hands. "But if you have so little self control then how were you able to stand all of, that without wanting my blood." sh spat at me. It made me laugh.

"Self control isn't my problem anymore. I can handle, that urge. Its, well the other urge I have trouble controlling." god how I wanted to just give up fighting, give up and let temptation take me. But I couldn't do that. I couldn't risk it, risk everything.

"What? I don't understand, I mean I thought." She was confused. The expression on her face made me laugh again. She started to pout. Which just made it even cuter. I laughed. Which made her pout into a frown. I laughed again. She was getting annoyed.

"I'm. Sorry. It's just." I tried to explain but she was making it rather hard not to laugh. "Stop making faces or I wont be able to explain. Your making these cute expressions and when I laughed you'd just change to an even better one. I'm sorry it wasn't anything bad." I smiled at her and leaned forward to kiss her forehead.

"Ok, well I'm glad I can be good for a laugh. But I still don't understand. Why isn't my blood, my smell to much for you?"

"It's just, I lived so long with out you, all the while still needing you. Thinking about you, about your features, your smile, your eyes, your hair, and your smell. I think I thought about you so much I just got immune to it. Or it could be that I went through a long few hours believing, thinking that I would be to late to save you. And you'd be dead. It gave me a new way of looking at things. I know what my limits are. And your smell, is appealing. Way to appealing, but living without you is far more painful than ignoring my instinct to drain you dry." I hope she would understand that, I didn't know if I explained it right. I didn't really know how to explain it. It was like I lived so long without her. That the need to be with her, was much, much more appealing to me than her blood.

"Ok, but what did you mean, 'other urge'" she said as she lifted one eyebrow. God I loved her face expressions. All of them, they were all to much.

"Bella, I'm a vampire, but I still have manly urges." I smiled. Her eyes got slightly larger, she looked amused. Hopeful.

"Let go of your urges." she wrestled her way on top of me. And pressed her lips tightly against mine. I kissed her back. No, no I had to stop, I had to control myself.

But this, this was what I longed for now. I had Bella I no longer needed to long for her, I had her. It was what I always wanted, but no. I had to stop. She could get hurt. This was to dangerous. She must have felt my sudden battle I was having with myself. She pressed her body tightly against mine. That was enough, that was what my body needed, as all my effort to fight went out the open window. I wrapped my arms around her neck. And traced her shoulder blades, down her arms, to her waist. She ran her hands through the top of my hair. As I placed my arms on her sides. She gave me chills, me a vampire, chills. It baffled me. But none the less I had chills. I squeezed her sides. A little to hard? She moaned. I tensed up, and soon realized it was a good moan.

She ran her hand through my hair, all the way to my cheek. It felt amazing, to good. I think I was the one moaning now. How could something so forbidden be this good. And it wasn't even close to the actual moment. The moment when we became more than one. The moment that, I was eternally damned. My virtue was all I had. That sudden thought brought the panic back, brought the fight back. I was fighting the urge again I tried to pull away, but she just came even closer to me. She slid her hand across my cheek again, but didn't stop.

Her hand traced down the side of my neck. Down to the shirt collar and traced my shirt. She reached the front. I felt her fingers search, searching for the first button. She got it, and moved to the next.

My hands were still on her sides. I slowly traced my fingers up and down her back. Her shirt had come up a little, so I traced the bare skin near her pant line. I wasn't thinking anymore. I was just doing, and before I even realized it, my hand slid up her back under her shirt. And the next second my shirt was completely open. Open to my bare chest. She traced her fingers down my chest, around each crevice, each curve of my abs. Her fingers found it. I let out another moan. And grabbed her around her waist. And rolled her over, careful not to place my weight on top of her.

I didn't even realize when it had happen, but her shirt was now laying next to us on the bed. So many emotions ran through my head. Love, longing, lust, the urge to continue was over coming the urge to fight. I didn't want to stop. I never wanted it to end. But I knew eventually it would have to end. One way or another it would have to end. I didn't want to hurt her, but I knew if I continued I might loose control. I could slip, and break a bone, her arm, a rib, something, I shuddered at the thought, her neck. I could kill her.

I heard her let out another low moan, I couldn't control myself any longer. I needed her, and I needed her now.

A/N: short chapter I know. I'm sorry!! But I had to end it here. I didn't want to end on a cliff hanger… but I myself havent decided what I want to happen here.. if I want them to go all out. Or if I want Edward to fight against his urges and win. And tell her they had to wait. Shes to fragile, he could kill her, ect. Blah blah..

Any opinions please let me know what you think should happen. What you think they should do lol..