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Chapter Five: Unique Talents
The council came in and snorted when they saw what was going on. "Have you finally realized what happens when you try to play matchmaker for a demon," sneered Danzo, causing several of his fellows to step away from him.
"Naruto is not a demon, Danzo. Keep calling him that and you won't live long enough to discover who the real demon is," Tsunade growled.
"Is that a threat, Hokage-sama?" The sneer was very much in evidence as her fist connected with his nose sending him flying head first into the closed door and knocking it off it's hinges. "No," she said calmly. "It's a promise, Idiot."
Hiashi raised a brow and a small smirk graced his lips as he realized she didn't care who received her special punches. "Seriously though, Hokage-sama. What are you going to do about this situation between young Naruto and the Copy-nin? It's beginning to make us a laughing stock when even missing-nin are participating in a betting pool concerning two of our most well-known ninja."
"I honestly didn't expect things to go that far," she said, groaning at the memory of the first time she had seen the names of Kisame and Orochimaru on a betting form that crossed her desk. "But honestly did any of you see things getting this out of control either?"
A few of the council shook their heads but some of them were clearly enjoying the situation as they thought it was hilarious that the very famous and well-known Copy-nin was proving himself to be extremely human for all that he liked to appear detached and aloof.
Inoichi, grinning for all he was worth, said, "Who'd have thought all it took to make Hatake human, was a fifteen year old, clueless, innocent with big blue eyes, a buff chest and tight pants?" Several snickers answered his quip and more than one person had a perverted gleam in their eyes.
"Well, all that aside, we do need to put an end to this before someone who isn't used to getting thrown around like a sack of feed gets hurt because Hatake heard them wrong," said Koharu.
"From what I heard, he didn't hear the idiot wrong at all," said Tsume. "The fool basically said when he finished his drink he was gonna stop by the boy's place and see if he could tap into that demons pants himself. I'm sure he was only talking out the seat of his pants trying to get a feel for how strong Kakashi's attraction to the boy really is but he crossed the line. And truthfully he still doesn't know since Kakashi's reaction could just as easily be attributed towards protecting the reputation and innocence of his student as anything else. Kakashi kicked his ass and, if not for Asuma and Gai hearing and reacting fast enough, we'd be burying him today for what he said."
"That is logical," said Aburame Shibi. "About half the bettors right now are still looking for evidence that supports the view that Kakashi is only reacting to all this attention because he is the teen's Sensei and it is his job to protect the boy from attention of this sort. The other half are looking for evidence that it is more than that. Neither side are finding anything to claim as proof one way or the other and those who know are not saying or betting."
"What do you mean by that?" asked Tsunade. "I know and I placed a bet."
"I said those who know but I should have specified those the villagers will recognize as knowing. The Inuzuka's with their nose are recognized as being able to identify that scent above most others as is my clan. I know I have forbidden anyone in my clan from placing a bet."
"As have I," agreed Tsume.
Koharu frowned and said, "Then the fool didn't get enough punishment in my opinion but I'll admit I don't like it that it's Naruto people are looking at and lusting after. Damn it, Tsunade. You put the boy on the open market for every pervert in the country to ogle. Now set something up where neither of them can get away without admitting what they feel and get him off the market before he gets hurt. I may not be the ninja I used to be but if he gets hurt because you're a gambling addict I will find a way to make you pay." She glowered at Tsunade.
"Why does it bother you so much that someone sees Naruto?" asked a surprised Tsunade, not paying any attention to the threat.
"Cause I helped raise him. I was hoping for little ones someday out of the Gaki and if he's with a guy I'll never get them," Koharu admitted glumly.
Homura put a sad hand on her shoulder silently sympathizing with her. "It was a team effort. Kind of like a flash step into the days when we were the genin team everyone was watching."
"Hey!" said both Hiashi and Inoichi. "Don't forget us. We helped you know," evoking more than a few chuckles around the room. The only councilmen who were still against Naruto were the Haruno woman and Danzo. Danzo was still against him because he couldn't help but see the weapon Naruto could have been turned into under his control and Haruno didn't like him because he had hurt Sakura once when the Demon had taken advantage of his fear and anger.
But Tsunade had realized something about that when she had started looking into what actually happened each time the demon had taken over. Every single time the only people to get hurt were enemies, people trying to force Naruto into taking the demon's chakra as if it were his own or people who had hurt the blond either mentally, physically, or emotionally. It seemed the Demon had a thing about people hurting it's container or trying to force the boy to hurt himself by taking it's chakra for his own use.
Sakura had denied ever doing anything to hurt Naruto and it took herself, Shizune, most of the rookie nine and Kakashi to show her exactly how many times she had done precisely that. Each of them had pointed to a particular incident they had witnessed where she had been cruel beyond what had been necessary to the boy or had taken his words out of context and beaten the crap out of him only to realize later what he had really meant. They had also pointed out the fact that she hadn't even bothered to apologize or try to make amends for her behavior. In the end, she couldn't deny that she wouldn't have liked the treatment she'd given him if the shoe had been reversed. Therefore, they concluded she had single handedly done more damage to her teammate than almost anyone in the village and she should count herself lucky that all the fox had done was scratch her arm.
Tsunade sighed and said, "I've turned them over to an expert in these kinds of situations. They won't be back until things are settled one way or the other. And Koharu, don't count out those kids yet. I have every intention of one day seeing a bunch of little blue-eyed blonds running around causing mayhem."
Everyone blinked. "But they're both gay," said the elderly woman.
Tsunade tried to look innocent. "What does that have to do with anything? Being gay doesn't mean sterile, Koharu. They can still give us a child due to Naruto's . . . unique talents." She smirked as everyone wondered what she had in mind now. Suddenly Jiraiya, who was still there, gave a very perverted giggle as twin streams of blood gushed from his nose.
"A certain very sexy, pig-tailed, naked blonde girl. Oh, the material those two could give me. . ." He broke off abruptly as Tsunade sent him flying from the effect of a double cross. He landed in front of the hospital doors, his perverted giggles still resounding through the air as he crashed into the concrete.
"Damn pervert teammate," Tsunade muttered as all the men shivered. She had moved so fast no one remembered seeing her cross the room or punch the Sennin. All anyone could remember was his giggled words and the sound of breaking glass. She walked back to her desk rubbing her knuckles. A lot of the guys were careful to hide the perverted thoughts in their minds as she sat down and looked at them.
Koharu however was curious. "But that's just a henge. It's not like it's a real female," she said. "How would he be able to use that to give the village children?"
"Oh it's real alright," Tsunade assured her. "Both Shizune and I ran separate checks on that just to make sure. It's a complete change of who he is down to the cellular level. When he performs that henge, or any henge really, he actually does become the person he transforms into. Naruto, with that technique, is a natural spy/assassin. Using that jutsu he can literally get close enough to anyone to do whatever he wants to them. But the important thing for us, Koharu, is he can very well become pregnant using that jutsu and give us as many babies as we can handle. And with Hatake as his chosen lover those children will be very special."
Now she and Koharu were both grinning and Koharu said, "Then you make sure that friend of yours doesn't suffer his first failure. I want to see one of those little ones before I'm too old to play with it." She turned and left the grinning Hokage to her work.
"Dear Kami," muttered Hiashi as he and Inoichi both paled remembering what a little bundle of energy Naruto had been as a child. Hiashi also remembered how much energy Minato had possessed when they were younger. He whimpered as he remember a young Hatake and the whirlwind that had been named Kushina as well. Added to these memories was the image of his oldest daughters face and how she would react should she learn what the Hokage and council were planning to involve her friend and idol in against his will. He couldn't prevent the whimpers from becoming heard as he just knew this would end very badly for him and everyone else involved.
Inoichi helped the elder out of the room whispering reassuringly to him as they went. Though Inoichi wasn't quite sure what had caused the normally composed elite to lose his composure he was sure it had to be pretty bad. And as his primary job was taking care of the mental well-being of the village he stepped into his role for the Hyuuga head now.
"What's with that?" asked a perplexed Tsunade.
"Oh I'd say memories of a certain couple as children and the parents of the blond," said Tsume, not having any trouble imaging what could make the Hyuuga whimper like a newborn pup, as she breezed out the doorway, stepping over the body of the comatose Danzo.
"Troublesome," said Shikato as he and Chouza followed the rest of the council. "But worth it for the village," added Chouza speaking to his friend. Shikato nodded. "Hai, but it'll still be noisy when she tells them what she has planned. I don't see either of them taking that any better than they have her match making efforts."