Disclaimer: I only wish Naruto was mine. . .and Kakashi of course.

Kakashi: Gee thanx, Rose

Rose: You're welcome. . . . But Hubby says to tell you he's glad I don't own you too. Something about me never going to bed. . . meh

Naruto: You perv!!!!!

Rose: (blinks) huh? (Looks at keyboard; scratches head) How is typing all night being a pervert?

Naruto: Oh (blushes) sorry Rose. I thought you'd stay up doing something else.

Kakashi: She can watch if she wants Naruto. I don't mind.

Naruto: (blushes deeper) exhibitionist

Kakashi: Do you even know what that word means?

Rose: (looks at Kakashi smirking with a gleam in her eye) I do even if he doesn't. . . ... . .and I'm the one at the keyboard...

Kakashi: (pales and goes back to his book)

Chapter Eleven: Confessions and Plotting

That night, in the semi-privacy of his apartment, Naruto went over the available items he had for pranking people and thinking about how each item could be used that it hadn't already been used before. He would not repeat a past prank. That was for amateurs and he was not an amateur. He was the Prankster King of Konoha, known far and wide for the complexity and deviousness of his pranks as well as the fact that no one he decided to prank ever escaped his net. He finally decided he was going to have to go shopping and see what was new on the shelves. He really wanted to do something to her office that would let everyone know she was every bit as much of a pervert as her old teammates and yes Naruto knew Orochimaru was just as perverted as Jiraiya.

After Sasuke had left the village to learn under the Snake Sennin, he sent updates to Naruto from every town or village he could get to or have someone he trusted deliver them straight to him. Naruto always sent a reply with news of his own. No one, except Kakashi, knew the two boys were still in contact and still close friends. Sasuke would never kill Naruto and Naruto would never stand in the way of his dream but Sasuke relied on Naruto to help him escape Orochimaru when the Sennin tried to claim him for his dojutsu, should the help be needed and both Kakashi and Naruto would be there to help him. They'd promised.

But the letters were full of their thoughts regarding their teachers and what perverts the older generation all were. Sasuke knew how Naruto felt about Kakashi and Naruto knew who it was that Sasuke liked as well. He almost felt sorry for Sakura since he knew full well Sasuke would never choose her as a mate. Like himself and Kakashi, Sasuke was gay. He actually went to Sound for more than training, having fallen hard for the while haired glasses bespeckled Kabuto. As far as Sasuke was concerned the Uchiha Clan was dead as soon as he died or Itachi did should his brother survive when the two finally fought.

He made himself some food and was just sitting down to eat when someone knocked on his door. Strange, he thought. No one knocked on his door. Well, not unless it was a mere courtesy before they came barging on in. Well, Iruka knocked and waited for him to open up. He grinned as he climbed to his feet and went to open the door. Sure enough Iruka was waiting on the other side.

"What took you so long to open up?" he asked as he waited for Naruto to step aside and let him enter. Naruto did so spreading a hand as indication he could come in grinning fully as he did so.

"It took me a few minutes to remember who knocks on my door without turning the knob at the same time." Iruka smiled, knowing Naruto appreciated his courtesy though he'd never say anything to anyone about the lack of their own manners.

"Well, I wish you'd start calling people on their bad manners towards you when they are ever so quick to call you on your own," he groused as Naruto led the way to the table.

"Maa, Iruka-sensei. You know I can't do that. None of them think I deserve that kind of courtesy or I'd already be getting it. Personally I think they really just want to see if they can catch me unaware and nude or something. I was just about to eat. Would you care for some ramen or tea?"

"Tea would be nice," he said sitting down gratefully. Naruto put his tea kettle on and took out the box of tea he kept for Iruka. He passed over the creamer and sugar bowls along with a spoon and sat back down before his ramen.

"I need to make a confession, Naruto. I helped Tsunade set up these two man missions for you and Kakashi. I'll understand if you won't trust me anymore but she said Kakashi wouldn't talk to you and was avoiding you but that you wanted to be with him. She played me for a fool but I went along with it because I wanted to believe you really needed help landing the guy you wanted to be with. Kakashi can be very stubborn and if he feels like he's being cornered he'll never give way."

"It's ok, Iruka-Sensei. Baa-chan likes her little games. She can't help it she's as perverted as Jiraiya." He paused to get the whistling teapot and pour a cup of water for his old teacher. As he set it in front of him he added, "Just next time ask me first before you fall for her little games. She has a tendency to think she needs to do everything for me. It's a wonder she hasn't tried to put me back in a diaper yet since she thinks I am incapable of getting my own dates when I am ready to date."

Iruka flushed as he realized everything Naruto had said was true. He should have known something was fishy and just asked Naruto before falling in with her plans to manipulate the teen. "I'm only fifteen for Pete's sake. It's not like I'm over the hill or something," Naruto continued letting Iruka absorb his point of view on his own. "Why didn't it even occur to anyone that maybe Kakashi might have thought I was too young for him still? That's what I don't get. Not only did you all insult me, you insulted him. But Iruka-Sensei, please next time remember a relationship takes two people and no matter how tempting it is to micro-manage my life when you try you're also attempting to micro-manage their life. I'm used to either being totally ignored or having my every movement dictated for me. Kakashi-Sensei isn't and it really wasn't very nice to play around with him like that."

Iruka had the grace to look embarrassed. "I'll confess to him also and apologize because you're correct Naruto. It wasn't very nice and it was very disrespectful to just assume there was no good reason for the two of you not to be together yet. I wanted you to be happy and I thought he was making you unhappy by being so distant. I will do my best to make sure it never happens again. I do not think of you as a toy or an object or a toddler who still needs to be told when to potty." He looked so disgusted with himself that Naruto couldn't help but laugh about it.

"Let's go see Sensei now then and get it over with. He's probably sitting on his couch with his porno books." There was a method to Naruto's madness and he was hoping Iruka would agree. He knew Kakashi's place was protected from the all seeing orb of the Hokage while his place never could be. If he even dared put a blocker in place Anbu would swarm the place minutes later to find out what he thought he was doing. Iruka gulped but nodded gamely.

He thought Naruto only wanted to be sure he really did apologize to his other teacher and he could see why that was. After all, Iruka had already gone behind his back once which was a type of lying to him. He knew Naruto was smarter than people gave him credit for being. So he finished off his tea and stood ready to follow the teen out of the apartment and over to the jounin's place. He only hoped Kakashi wasn't going to kick his ass in front of Naruto.

The walk was completed in silence and was much too short for Iruka's comfort. But he held himself in place as Naruto knocked on the door. Kakashi having sensed Naruto and Iruka opened the door almost immediately with his game face on. "Come on in but please make it short," he said. "I was just getting to the good part."

He grinned as a twinkle entered Naruto's eye and knew he would be asked about it tomorrow when they met up in the forest glade. Oh yeah. Tomorrow will be great. He escorted his guests into the livingroom and watched as Iruka sat in the easy chair while Naruto sat on the couch. He took a seat on the couch also after they both refused tea or beers. Well, soda for Naruto since Kakashi didn't want him drinking alcohol yet. He was only fifteen and no matter if it was legal for him as a ninja he didn't think it was healthy for him.

"So what brought you over tonight?" he asked as soon as they were all comfortable.

"Iruka has something to say," said Naruto, tucking a foot under his leg as he turned on the couch to face the other two. The couch wasn't much bigger than a two-seater loveseat and his knee was touching Kakashi's thigh. Kakashi put his arm along the back of the couch and unobtrusively played with Naruto's hair as the boy leaned his head on it. They thought Iruka didn't notice but the teacher was uncommonly sharp where Naruto was concerned. He saw the contact and understood what Naruto was telling him. He smiled.

"Ok. I went to Naruto's place tonight and apologized for my part in this fiasco our beloved Hokage has created. He correctly pointed out that I owed you an apology also. He felt I owed you an apology more than I owed him one but I don't agree with that. I owed both of you an equal apology for assuming, that not only was he unable to get your attention, if he wished, but, that you were incapable of handling the situation appropriately. For that, I am truly sorry. But I had no part in anything beyond the two man missions she has assigned you both lately and I am no longer taking part in those either." He paused as Kakashi was staring at him processing everything he said.

"You thought you were helping Naruto get what he wanted but didn't know how to ask for?" the one eyed jounin asked.

Iruka nodded and whispered, "Can we talk freely here without her hearing what I say?" Kakashi pulled his arm down and went through the hand signs for the privacy jutsu every jounin knew. Then he nodded grimly. Iruka gave a huge sigh of relief. "Thank-you," he said. "I've been waiting for the two of you to get home so I could apologize ever since I found out the true depth of her plot. She isn't just trying to help Naruto get what she thinks he's too clueless and innocent to get on his own. She also plans to blackmail the two of you so that she can force him to use that pervert buster technique to get pregnant. That way she can force him to have a child that carries both your DNA for the benefit of the village."

Both Naruto and Kakashi looked at him in horror. Neither could say a single word, they were so caught off guard. He gulped and braced for the expected explosion. He hurried on before they could say a single thing. "She already knows you've had sex and shared a bed at the cabin. What she doesn't know is whether or not you are a couple or if you were just taking advantage of the so-called privacy and lack of anything else to do with yourselves while you waited out your captivity. But from what I saw when we walked in and sat down, I know it's more than just sex between you and if you need my help to keep her off your butts just ask. It's the least I owe you for having been involved in the first place."

Naruto tilted his head to one side. "You aren't upset, Nii-san?"

Iruka shook his head. "Naruto, I was helping set up situations where you could be alone with him to give you the chance to tell him how you felt. I have to admit I thought it better if you got the guy you wanted rather than have to spend forever turning down her choices of brides for you. I know you really don't want to bring a child in this world. You've made that very clear over the years. I thought that, by helping you get Kakashi, I was helping you convince everyone there wouldn't be any children from you. I didn't know she was still plotting for the children no matter which sex you chose to be with. I wouldn't have helped her if I had known." He looked rueful as he added, "Which might be why she withheld that information until after she knew you'd slept together."

Kakashi shuddered and pulled Naruto to his side. The blond snuggled into the embrace. "Kashi, what do we do?" he whispered.

"I don't know yet," the jounin said rubbing the teen's back. "I will think of something though. I will not be used like an object in a display case for her amusement and neither will you."

"She honestly thinks the village will welcome the child of the Kyuubi container in their midst since they stopped beating on you and trashing your place. She doesn't realize you just got better at covering it all up and we got better at helping you hide it all and not telling anyone when it happens."

"Who else is in on this stupidity?" Kakashi asked, his anger percolating and beginning to come to a boil.

"I know Sakura and Shizune and Jiraiya, of course, but outside of them I'm not sure. I do know Gai isn't in on it. And I highly doubt the other jounin sensei of Naruto's group are in on things either."

"Sakura is in on this. Why am I not surprised?" Naruto said sadly.

"She always was denser than stone," remarked Kakashi.

"Kashi be nice," Naruto automatically responded. "She has her moments but she is a total yaoi perv and you know she could never quite bring herself to believe any of those beatings and trashings of the apartment were undeserved. Her Kaasan always tells her I deserve them even if she won't tell her why."

"You're too forgiving, Koi. She knows about the Kyuubi and she's not stupid even if she is dense. She knows why her mother thinks you deserve to be treated like trash. She just doesn't want to believe it."

"Maybe but you are talking about her mother, Kashi. Someone both of us lost before we could ever appreciate them." The look in Naruto's eye said he would not waver on the subject.

"Well, anyway is there anything I can do to set things right between the three of us," interrupted Iruka.

"Coming here and telling us what she is plotting already did that. If you can find out how she plans to blackmail us or when she plans to spring it on us, a heads up would be nice," said Kakashi.

"You might spread a few rumors for us," said Naruto with a devious twinkle in his eye.

Interested, Iruka sat up straighter. Kakashi quirked an eyebrow as well. "I was thinking about the fact that she hired a guy to drug us so we'd have sex for her amusement. You know as well as I do any evidence she has to blackmail us with has to come either from the inn or the cabin and I know what type all those spy devices there were. None of them could give her hard evidence of anything to use as blackmail. So that leaves only the inn and the night we got fed drugs to force us into having sex. And you know the only way that would work as blackmail is if she had pictures. I'd say that makes her a pervert." He shrugged as his boyfriend began laughing. The laughter started as a rumble in his chest and grew until it spilled from his lips unbridled.

Iruka was blushing and grinning also. He was uncomfortable hearing Naruto talk so openly about having sex, especially drug induced sex, but that had been his intention when he had helped to set up their two man mission.

"You might also want to spread it around that her plan backfired on her. We plan to act like we did not engage in anything we should not have while we were away and the only relationship between us is the one we have always had. The longer we can keep her from knowing the truth the better for us, I believe," said Kakashi.

"Well, I don't know that that will work, Kakashi-san. She does have something she plans to use as blackmail after all," said Iruka.

"Which she can't spread around if she wants to use it to blackmail us," countered Naruto. "She has to keep those pictures under wraps until we either reject her plans or give in and give her what she thinks she wants. And in that case she can't release them at all. And that makes it our word against hers. Unless she wants the whole village knowing what a pervert she is, she can't prove she knows anything of what occurred during our absence from the village. So in the meantime we can indeed act like we did absolutely nothing."

"If nothing else it should really screw up that damn betting pool of hers," growled Kakashi.

Iruka nodded and, seeking to give them a few minutes alone, he asked if he could go make himself some tea now. Kakashi, catching on, agreed and Iruka left them alone. Kakashi sighed and pulled Naruto onto his lap. "I missed you, Koi. It was so lonely here without you."

"I know. If she does have some other type of blackmail are you willing to go along with her plan?" He was tense not knowing how Kakashi really felt about having sex with a female.

Kakashi kissed him fully. When they broke free for air he said, "You're mine, Koi. No matter what form you are in you are still you. Having sex with you is one of the best experiences I have ever had and if that's what it takes to keep you in my life than so be it. The parts might be different but the person inside isn't and that's who I love."

Naruto relaxed and snuggled into his chest listening to his heartbeat as Kakashi held him and rubbed his back. Iruka came back with a beer for Kakashi, a soda for Naruto and tea for himself. "I figure we can stay here for about another hour before we'll need to go if you want to maintain the no relationship thing. If anyone asks, I'll just say you were catching me up on the long mission while I was making sure you didn't do anything you shouldn't to Naruto. That's something everyone who knows me will believe easily. And everyone will easily believe, when the rumor of drugged sex gets out, that there is no way in hell either of you would ever admit it to me." He smirked as once again Kakashi truly laughed. The man had a very nice laugh he decided. Naruto had good taste in a mate. He could tell by the way they were acting that Kakashi really did love Naruto and that the feeling was returned. "Get out of here before I change my mind unless you want to go to bed sexless tonight." He smirked again as Kakashi unconsciously tightened his grip on Naruto.

Kakashi looked at Naruto inquiringly who answered him by simply kissing him even though his mask was in the way again. Smiling he let the boy climb off his lap and led the way to his room. Once there he put up a sound barrier and introduced his partner to his bed. Kakashi had a nice double wide bed and for once there was plenty of room for them to be totally comfortable without ending up with grass stains.