Disclaimer: I only wish I owned Naruto. . .and Kakashi.

Kakashi: There you go again.

Rose: Well the show is named for him you know.

Kakashi: So? What does that have to do with me being an afterthought?

Rose: (blinks)

Chapter Thirteen: Game of the Month

The next few days passed in relative idleness for the village. Everyone took the opportunity to watch either Kakashi or Naruto or both of them whenever they appeared anywhere in public but the two were masters at hiding what they didn't want anyone to know or see. Every afternoon they got together in Naruto's private training area to compare notes on who had said what to whom that indicated knowledge and complicity in the "Game of the Month" as they had deemed it. So far their list held Tsunade, Shizune, Sakura and Jiraiya as the main conspirators against them but several others were listed as more than just than interested bystanders. Some had actively tried to arrange their own get togethers for the pair or tried to separate them depending on the bet they had placed. Iruka got them a fresh copy of the betting sheets every time one was published so they could keep track of the bets without Kakashi having to go into the bars to see it himself. He was also actively keeping a list of people who asked him pointed questions about the pair.

They pulled Gai into their confidences and got him to help them also. Gai was a lot more observant than people gave him credit for being and he got them more names than they could possibly hope to get on their own.

Even the rookie nine were starting to get involved though most thought the subject of the bets was going over the top and definitely an intrusion into the privacy of the two nins in question. Ino had been talking about it at one of the picnics they held every month, giggling over the fact that two of their number were the source of so much entertainment for the country. Shikamaru had snorted at her and asked her point-blank how she would feel if it was her everyone was betting on instead of Naruto.

"But Shika, why would they? Besides it's just Naruto."

"He's a person too, Ino," protested Hinata quietly.

"Well, yeah," Ino said. "But you have to admit he is clueless and without help, how would he ever get anywhere? Therefore, the bets are just a fantasy related to who he's lusting after. I mean sure he's grown into a great ninja and he definitely has a hot body and all but still there's no way he's anything but an idiot."

Shikamaru just stared at her for a few minutes in disgusted silence. When silence had filled the area he said, "How much did you wager, Ino? How much did you pry into the private life of my friend? How much was his virginity worth to you?"

"What? I don't know what you are talking about Shikamaru," she protested.

"Yes, you do. You want to make some money off Naruto just like all the other perverted freaks in this village. You think you have the right to profit off him while laughing behind his back because you think he's too stupid to know you are. You're disgusting." He stood and walked away Chouji trailing, as always behind him. Ino tried to arouse some sympathy from the rest of the group but even Lee looked at her with sadness.

"Naruto-kun has never had anything even remotely approaching privacy or respect from anyone in this village before he became a part of our group. Or rather I should say before he made us a part of his life. Because of him, we became known as the Rookie Nine plus Three and this is how you repay him. How could you betray him like this by acting like one of them?" asked Lee sadly.

"But . . ." she sputtered trying to find at least one sympathetic face but even Kiba who was notorious for his perverted tendencies amongst them wasn't giving her any. "It's just Naruto," she whined. "Besides it's not like he's after someone even remotely attainable. I mean, come on. The bet is over whether or not he'll land Kakashi-sempai, for Kami sake. That would make him even more undesirable to the villagers. And Kakashi-sempai would never fall for someone like him."

Shino said, "And what makes you think that?"

"Come on. Everyone knows Kakashi-sempai is too smart for someone like Naruto. And besides he'll only settle for a woman who can give him kids to carry on his line and he won't even do that until he's ready to retire as a ninja."

Shino raised a brow at the blonde girl. Neji told her, "You are blind as well as stupid. Have you never noticed which version that book is that he is always reading?

Tenten inserted her own comment into the discussion. "Regardless of whether or not you think he needs help finding a partner or whether or not he deserves to choose the partner who will best meet his needs, I agree with my Sensei and Shika. This betting pool is unyouthful and low. If Naruto was lusting after a girl, you would be outraged, on her behalf, that she was the subject of these bets. If it was you he was wanting a date with, you would not find this amusing at all. You would be disgusted by the situation and the observation he and Kakashi are both under as a result of this mess. Neither of them can get any privacy at all. Naruto is even being watched inside his own home for crying out loud. How would you like to not even be able to go take a pee without someone noting how long your stream was and what shade of yellow it was?" She stopped talking as Sakura walked up.

"Hi everyone. What's the topic?" she asked brightly sitting gratefully on the edge of the blanket.

"The bets on the Naruto lusting after Kakashi," said Ino beginning to see where her fellows were coming from.

"Oh," said Sakura. "Shishou is really getting upset with them both. She is doing everything she can think of to throw them together and both of them are ignoring their own wishes to just ignore the situation."

"Nani?" cried Ino. "But I thought it was just because Naruto was lusting after Kakashi-Sempai that this was so public. I mean a guy his age shouldn't be looking at another guy."

Sakura got a very devious look as she said, "Why shouldn't he when the object of his attention is lusting after him just as badly if not more so? Naruto likes Kakashi and Sensei likes Naruto just as much. So why shouldn't they get together?"

"But that's . . . it's wrong, Forehead Girl. That's your Sensei who's life your playing games with," Ino growled.

"But it was fine when it was Naruto under the microscope wasn't it, Ino," said Kakashi behind her.

"Well, that's only because he's hopeless when it comes to new situations. You're not. You can figure out what you want and how to take the appropriate steps to get it." She turned back to Sakura and continued as if she hadn't just insulted one of the pair while claiming the other was somehow above normal things like cluelessness. "But what she is advocating isn't right, either. She's implying you're gay and that you'll never choose a girl for yourself to have a child and continue your family line. You're too much of an honorable man to do that. Especially not because a Baka like Naruto is perverted enough to like you that way. I mean, that really isn't a big surprise. That Naruto could be that clueless as to actually think guys belong together like that, I mean. It's not as if he had parents to show him or tell him anything and Kami knows he skipped so many classes he could have missed our Sensei there telling us about the birds and the bees. But she thinks you are also and that is just insulting. As for the observation thing, I really don't understand why you haven't put a stop to it already. I mean Naruto being under scurtiny is normal. I doubt he even notices it anymore unless it's not there but you should have already stopped it on yourself. And that brings up the point of why you even let them continue betting over this insulting you by implying you're perverted like that." She stopped talking as she noticed a definite drop in the temperature. Not really wanting to she turned her head to look at each person and saw Naruto standing there with both Shikamaru and Chouji beside him.

Quietly, and hiding his eyes, Kakashi noted, Naruto said, "So because someone posted a betting sheet in some trollop bar you went to in order to get your jollies you assumed I was not only stupid and clueless as to reality and what is normal behavior between men and women on the dating scene but you assumed the sheet was telling you the truth of where my true interest lie. And from those assumptions, you went on to assume that means I am the pervert instead of the person who thought who I might choose to have sex with was the pervert. Or the person who made up the betting sheet in the first place. Who's the bigger pervert, Ino? The guy lusting after someone or the guy who's taking bets on the outcome or the people placing those bets in the first place? I guess I do have to thank-you though, Ino. When I finally do choose a lover, should I ever decide to do so, I should just move my bed into the middle of the street so that the village can critique my methods and tell me what I'm doing wrong since it's very clear that if I can't even choose the right person for myself it's equally unlikely that I'll manage to have something as natural as sex correctly either. And after all, someone so clueless and stupid as me, has no right to normal courtesy or privacy like you do." Before she could say a single word in response he turned and left. A few minutes later he was running through the forest. He knew Kakashi would show up shortly after he got there.

At the picnic, Ino was being shut out by all her friends except Sakura. Sakura was chewing her out for insulting Kakashi and calling him unnatural for being gay. "He is gay, Ino, and my knowing and saying he is attracted to Naruto was not the insult you're saying his being gay is unnatural and perverted was. As for him being too honorable to choose a male over a woman who could carry his line on after him, he'll never be that dishonest with himself because that would be dishonorable. Not just to himself but to the woman he chose as well. No woman wants to be used like that simply because she has a womb."

Kakashi heard that comment before slipping silently away from the group. He knew Shikamaru had noticed him leaving and knew the young genius would know he was going to find Naruto but hoped the teen had put it down to the fact that Naruto was clearly upset with Ino. He thought over what he had heard Sakura say about no woman wanting to be used for her womb and wondered if she ever made the cross connection to the fact that no guy wanted to be used just for his sperm. Nor did he know of any ninja who would like or appreciate being told they had to lie with their lover under a sex change henge just to make use of their genes. But he really wasn't surprise to find those two girls saw nothing wrong with the bets around town on the attraction between him and Naruto. Really Ino's objection wasn't over Kakashi's sex life being bet on. It was only that he was being paired with Naruto, a guy instead of a girl.